Without Hesitation

by CJ Azevedo

  “All right, fine,” I grumble dispassionately. “I’ll take her out to get something to eat as soon as she’s available and I’ll try and talk to her. But I’m telling you right now she’s going to lose her shit on me and most likely never speak to me again, no thanks to you assholes.”

  “Thanks, bro.” Dec claps me on my back as he walks past me into the locker room.

  Luca and Keegan both nod their heads at me and follow Dec. Apparently I’m still the bastard in this scenario.

  They just caused more aggravation that needs to be worked out before I can shower and head back to my office, so I head towards the cardio room. I’ve done all I care to do for the day but a few miles on the treadmill should placate this edginess just fine.

  I’ve been living in a one bedroom apartment since I moved out of Dec’s house. It’s right on the bay and I love that, but it was a quick decision made and something I jumped into, so I’m renting. Not smart for a financial advisor. I need to invest and have something permanent to call my own, besides the fact that I’m getting restless in that tiny place. Unfortunately for me, my real estate agent isn’t really speaking to me so I’ve been putting it off. No time like the present, eh?

  Around my three mile mark I see the guys walk out of the gym and salute their goodbyes through the front windows. I pull up my message screen and find Butterfly.

  Greyden: I need a house.

  Ultimately, I’m not going to bring up Mitch the prick. Searching for a house is going to afford me a lot of time with her and it will most likely have her divulging a lot more than I care to know. So I’ll wait. A few minutes later she responds.

  Butterfly: For what?

  Greyden: To hoard all of my cats in.

  This time it doesn’t take so long for a response and I’m thankful I’m on my cool down since I’m not concentrating on this run at all anymore.

  Butterfly: *crickets*

  A smile steals across my face and I chuckle to myself. This is my girl. My girl that I’ve been missing the hell out of lately.

  Greyden: I’m over this apartment and I need to invest in something. Nothing crazy, though. Don’t get too excited.

  Butterfly: K. When?

  Greyden: Can I take you to dinner tonight to discuss it?

  Butterfly: No.

  Did not see that coming.

  Greyden: No?

  Butterfly: No. I’m not going to listen to you give me shit about Mitch. I know that’s what this is about.

  Greyden: Don’t cuss at me. That’s not what this is about. I’d rather not discuss him at all, in fact. I’ll pick you up at 7pm

  Butterfly: No you’re not, Greyden!

  Greyden: 7pm. We’ll go to Olstra’s.

  Butterfly: Seriously, Greyden. I’m not going!

  I decide not to text her back. She’s going. I’ll leave her text unread and just show up dressed for dinner; she’ll come with me.

  Butterfly: GREYDEN!!!

  Smiling, I get off the treadmill and hit the shower. When I get out I have another text waiting for me.

  Butterfly: What the hell Grey??

  Twenty minutes later, another. I love how well I know her.

  Butterfly: Fine. You win. And just so you know I’m totally pouting AND I’m taking FULL commission on your property.

  I wouldn’t have let her not take the full commission anyway, so it’s a moot point, but I won’t tell her that. Macie needs to feel like she’s conquered this and I’ll let her have that.

  My workday drags on a lot longer than I would have preferred. Not only did I have two clients today that I usually push off for as long as possible, I also have been dodging Ally’s persistent calls and texts. I’ve told her to back off as nicely as I can on multiple occasions, but today is getting out of hand. By the time I get back to the apartment, I have just enough time to shower and change before I have to run over and pick up Macie in order to make our reservation.

  Thinking better of using my key to her place, I rap lightly a few times on her front door and wait patiently. She doesn’t keep me long before she opens it, looking as stunning as ever. She’s wearing a long, silver, silky-looking dress which drapes perfectly over her every curve. Her black hair is pinned back and low at the base of her beautifully tanned neck. She has these big, dangly diamond earrings that make her large blue eyes even brighter. This may be more difficult than I thought, I think to myself as I lean in to kiss her on the cheek. Back in the day when we were together all the time, I could manage, I could handle my reactions toward this beautiful woman when I wanted to but wasn’t allowed to touch her. Her body called out to me then like it’s doing now, but then I was able to manage. It was like constantly being in training for a marathon. Now, I’m at that marathon, without my training. It’s the beginning of the race and I’m already winded. This is looking like an epic failure if I’ve ever seen one.

  “Good evening, Macie. You look stunning,” I whisper in her ear before pulling back and offering her my hand.

  She releases a small breath of air and places her hand in mine as she grabs her small purse off the entry table. She steps down off the threshold and I grab the door behind her. Without putting any thought into it, I lock the door with my key then turn back to a scowling Macie. I smile and wink, placing my hand on her lower back and usher her to my car.

  I do business with the owners of the restaurant La Olstra’s and was able to sneak in a last minute reservation. Plus, it’s in Saratoga, a small town outside of San Jose, where we’re less likely to run into Mitch or any of his cohorts from the city.

  “Have you seen any properties that you have your eye on?” Macie asks casually, or so she tries to make me think. I can tell by her body language that she’s tense. She keeps fingering the threading on the door handle, something she has always done when she doesn’t know what say or do when in the car with me. She’s uncomfortable and I need to remedy that real quick.

  I turn the radio down and glance over to her; she’s looking out the window, still trailing her finger along the stitching in the leather on the door handle. “I haven’t even looked, Mace. Work has been hectic. Dad’s been…well, I’ve been over at Dad’s office a lot these last couple of weeks, so I haven’t had much time.”

  She whips her head around quickly, questioning me silently about my dad. I shake my head, telling her I don’t want to get into it, and then she takes me by complete surprise and reaches over and grabs my hand.

  “Your mom came and had tea with me a few days ago. She looks well. Said she’s been dancing. I think that’s great. She needs to get out of that big ‘ol house and do more stuff.”

  My body is in disarray. My mind is jumbled. And now my car speakers are ringing insanely loud. Macie startles and begins to take her hand back, but I guide it to my lips first. After pressing a tender kiss to the back of her hand, she hits accept to the blocked call and it comes through my speakers on Bluetooth.

  “Michaels,” I greet, not knowing who is calling from a blocked number.

  “Greyden.” A soft and quiet female voice comes through too loudly and Macie reaches over to turn the volume down.

  “You’re on speaker, Allison, and I’m not alone. What can I do for you?” I say calmly, although I have a full-fledged dark storm brewing inside of me at the shit she just pulled. I’m pretty sure every girl I screwed in high school called me from a blocked number to make sure I would answer. High school is the operative term here.

  “You weren’t taking my calls,” she whispers, her voice despondent.

  “Ahh, you did notice. I was beginning to think you had short term memory loss.”

  Allison drew in a sharp breath on the other end and a quick glance at Macie shows me that she’s none too happy with my choice of words either. Oh fucking well. I’m over it. I lift my eyebrows in question and thrust my hand out to her, silently asking, “What?” She just shakes her head and gives in to a partial smile.

  “I know you can just walk away at any time, Greyden, but I miss
you. This isn’t fair to me.”

  “I just saw you last night at Declan’s.”

  “Yeah, but I was with Aubrey, I wasn’t with you, and then you haven’t been taking my calls today.”

  “Allison,” I sighed, tired of this shit, “I told you I had a lot going on this week, that wasn’t a lie. And as much as you seem to think differently, we are not in a relationship, so I don’t owe you anything. I told you I needed a couple weeks and you couldn’t respect that. Now you’ve pissed me off. I have shit to deal with that’s none of your business and you calling me every thirty minutes is making my life hell. Please back the fuck off.” My tone is low and harsh. My hands are white knuckling the steering wheel. I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I’ve disrespected a woman by speaking to her in such a way, Macie, regrettably, being one of them. It makes me feel like the lowest bastard of all. I like Ally a lot. She’s a real good friend of mine, but she’s crossed a line, pushed me too far, and once I started there was no turning back.

  “Greyden,” Macie hisses next to me with a murderous look in her eyes.

  Allison sniffles then clears her throat. “Umm, who was that?”

  Macie’s eyes go to the size of silver dollars before mouthing, “Sorry.”

  “It’s me—Macie. Sorry, I would have given you guys some privacy, but we’re in the car. I’m sort of stuck.”

  “Macie. Of course. Okay, Grey, I’ll stop calling. I promise.” She draws in a deep breath, steadying her voice. “I always knew you belonged to her anyway. Bye.” It’s like the fight in her is gone and she just hangs up.

  She always knew I belonged to Macie? I wonder what she meant by that.

  “Call her back and fix that right now.” Macie must have absorbed all of Ally’s fighting power, because she is fired up.

  “Calm down. I’ll call her tomorrow. Besides, it won’t do me any good with you in the car anyway.”

  “Why have you been ignoring her? You were just with her last night. Not that I particularly care for the girl, but let’s call it curiosity.”

  The longer we sit in the car, the more and more I see of my Butterfly and I hate that we’re pulling up to the restaurant. I glance over to her as I park and smirk. “Curiosity is what kill—”

  “Killed the cat, yeah, yeah, I know. Now stop procrastinating and explain yourself, Michaels.”

  Laughing, I get out and walk around to open her door. I help her out and she looks up at me through her long, striking eyelashes, whispering a thank you. Not ever one to miss an opportunity, I lean down and offer her my cheek. For a few seconds, all is right once again. My life is normal, where it’s supposed to be, when my sweet Macie places her beautiful butterfly kisses on me.

  Macie doesn’t pull back; she stays close in my embrace. Her fragrance, something warm and delicious, hangs in the air around us, tempting my tastebuds. I breathe her in deep, ignoring the evening crowds on the sidewalk around us. Still holding her hand with my left, I wrap my right around her lower back, holding her closer. I move in so I can look down at her and her gaze meets mine. Neither of us speak for a minute, and to me that alone speaks volumes. I kiss her forehead and whisper, “I don’t want to talk about Allison tonight.”

  Macie doesn’t skip a beat. “I don’t want to talk about Mitch tonight.”

  I nod once to her and reluctantly pull back so we can walk on to La Olstra’s. “Deal,” I agree as we walk into the building.

  The lights are dimmed and the music is soft as we walk through the quiet entrance. Grace, the hostess that seems to be here every time I come to meet with the owners, greets us, letting her eyes scan up and down my body. I’m not typically opposed to it and lately having Macie with me wouldn’t even have bothered me all that much, but tonight I’m off my game. Something in me has slanted off its axis over the last couple weeks and I’m not sure if it has to do with what’s going on with my dad, finally seeing Macie get serious with another guy, being overloaded with work, or the combination of it all, but tonight I want to tell her she looks like trash and if she licks her lips one more time she might start slobbering.

  “Grey,” Macie whispers, undoubtedly ascertaining my mood and grabbing my attention at the same time, “she asked if you called in a reservation. Your name’s not on the list.” She’s placed her small hand on my face to direct it towards hers, something she has always done when she felt like she wasn’t getting her way or getting through to me. I must’ve checked out longer than I thought.

  “I don’t have any extra tables, Greyden. You know you can’t just show up here like this,” Grace stresses in an angry tone.

  “Calm down,” I coax Grace as I pull Macie in closer to my side. Inappropriate? Hell yes. If she was my girlfriend and Mitch was doing this, I would kick his ass. But, well, this is Butterfly and it’s not like I’m fucking her, I’m just putting my arm around her and she doesn’t look the least bit uncomfortable with it. “I called—” I begin, but my words are cut off by the tall, boisterous man making his way to us.

  “Greyden! I just realized that it completely slipped my mind to put down your reservation once we hung up this morning. I hope my dear Grace didn’t give you and your lovely lady here any trouble,” Richard, the owner of the restaurant, explains as he shakes my hand then leans down to kiss Macie on the cheek. I’ve spent quite a few evenings and golf days with this guy, and it never fails, he only kisses the pretty ones.

  “It’s nice to see you again, Richard. Grace wasn’t any trouble at all, she was just looking for that missing reservation, which you seem to be the culprit of,” Macie teases as she gives him her beautiful smile and makes the man go weak at the knees.

  “Now, Macie, I’ve had to golf three times with this guy and a bunch of old men with protruding bellies, you can’t make me do it again.” Richard stares at her with pure desperation before she gives in to her adorable girly laugh and goes and slips her arm through his…abandoning me completely.

  “Take me to get a drink and we’ll discuss a golf date. Grey, I’ll grab you a beer. You get our table, okay?” Then she smiles and winks, the long lashes of her right eye sweeping down to fan her cheek.

  Taking a deep breath, I turn back to find Grace no longer in a pissy mood, but looking smug and sultry all at once. “Is it hard to watch your girl stalk off with my dad?”

  What the fuck? Her dad?

  “How did I not know Richard is your dad?” I ask, completely bewildered.

  Grace giggles and bites down on the end of her pen before closing her lips around it and sliding it out of her mouth. Leaning over her hostess podium and right into to my chest, she whispers seductively, “Probably because you don’t pay too much attention to anything other than the way I make you feel once you have me in your car, gorgeous.” Her hand stops in its tracks on its way down my chest, fiddling with a button, not undoing it, just making my body think she is. I grab her hand firmly and remove it from my chest as I step back from her.

  “Can you check on that table for me now?” Shit, I’m all kinds of confused. Well, my body isn’t really all that confused, it pretty much knows what it wants. My mind is a clusterfuck right now, though.

  “Sure thing, sexy,” Grace purrs before picking up her phone and speaking to someone on the other end about the table arrangements. She hangs up and picks up two menus before turning and giving me a “come hither” finger.

  “Grace,” I say softly, and she stops and stares at me like she’s ready to pounce, or maybe she’s ready for me to. I reach up and rub my chin, finding the words that aren’t going to cause her to become a major bitch in two seconds. “I need you to do me a favor for tonight.”

  “Oh? And what’s that, baby?” Grace coos, taking a step closer.

  I shove my hands in my pockets and take a small step back. “Can you not call me all those sexy little names that you seem to be so fond of? It would make my life a whole hell of a lot easier if your dad didn’t hear you call me those names.”

  The left side of
her mouth kicks up in an amused smirk. “You mean Macie.”

  I give in and smile a little. “Her too. C’mon now. You’re going to be a good girl and take me to my table. Yeah?” I step back into her personal space, lowering my voice and making her eyelids flutter. “Thanks for your cooperation, beautiful.” Straightening my stance, I point my finger past her and ask, “This way?” in an unaffected way and start past her. It doesn’t take her long to get herself together and stride past me to show me to my table.

  Macie and Richard meet us there, coming from the opposite end of the restaurant. Suddenly my mind is no longer a clusterfuck, but crystal fuckin’ clear. Macie is supposed to be mine. Not Old Man Richard’s and not Bastard Politician Vanderhorn’s, either. Just mine.

  Chapter Five

  August 19, 2005

  End of Summer Bonfire

  Macie had lied to her parents and she felt like the stress of it all was going to ruin her. She told them that she was going to the movies with Samantha, Dahlia, and Kerrie then was going to stay over at Dahlia’s. She was still planning on staying over at Dahlia’s, but they weren’t going to the movies. The girls found out about the bonfire that Declan and the guys were going to, that only students from SJSU were supposed to be at, not high school kids, and now that they were there she was a nervous fluttering mess. She knew, although her girlfriends laughed it off and played it down to benefit them, how the guys were going to react to her being there—they were going to freak out on her. Suddenly, all she could see was complete humiliation coming to smack her straight in the face and she didn’t want to go any further. Macie planted her feet right at the edge of the party.

  Not only was she not where she was supposed to be and she had four guys there that were going to behead her once they discovered her arrival, she wasn’t even wearing her own clothes to make her sort of feel comfortable. The girls insisted on dressing her, and at the time it didn’t seem so bad, when she was caught up in all the glamour of it. With the three of them telling her she was so hot she was going to have all the college guys after her and she was going to get dates like mad and Dahlia was going to actually have to compete with her for the attention of the guys, she was lost to the attention and hype of it all. Now, standing amongst all these people in flip flops and tank tops and casual ponytails, her lace halter top that looked like it was over bare skin, denim shorts, tan wedges, and long, wavy hair made her feel like she was trying too hard and everyone was looking. At the time, she thought the thick brown belt looked cute, but now it was giving her a sense a of security with it’s weight clinging to her hips like she was being embraced and not being left to flounder out on her own.