by CJ Azevedo
“Baby, what happened just now? You look terrified.” Mitch is sitting up in front of me grasping both of my shoulders and I need to know the answer right now before we do this.
Shaking my head, I stammer my words. “I-I’m not. T-terrified. I just…it never dawned on me that…well, I need to know…” I scratch my forehead and take a deep breath and try to take control of my crazy.
Mitchell leans in and kisses me soundly. He pulls me down on his lap, not removing his lips from mine, rubbing soothing circles on my back. When he ends our kiss, he looks down at me and smiles. “Better?”
I swallow and ask what I need to know. “Do you sleep with prostitutes?”
A gush of air blasts me in the face as it’s released from his mouth in an attempt not to laugh. “What? No. No, of course not. Why would you think that?” Every feature on his face is smiling as his lips fight it.
“Well, I just realized that I don’t know anything about your past, but I do know that you don’t go out, so you’re not getting random hookups, and that just doesn’t seem like your style anyway. And I highly doubt you’re a virgin.” I’m confident that I need to know where he gets his sex from, so I lock my gaze onto his and don’t waver.
Mitch smiles this time. “Well, aren’t you full of surprises tonight?” He leans down and kisses me swiftly before continuing. “I swear I have never had sex with a prostitute or had any type of relations with a prostitute, for that matter. You’re right about me not going out. I don’t have time for that, never have. I’ve had three partners in the past. Two of them I met through social functions and I had strictly intimate relationships with each of them for long periods of time. I had a similar setup with a girl from college, although she was more like a girlfriend that I just didn’t have time for and my parents didn’t approve of.”
“When did you stop sleeping with the last two?” I know we’ve been exclusive since the beginning of the month, but I’m not sure beyond that, not that I have any right to know or get mad, but again, I’m curious.
“As soon as we went on our first date.” His mouth descends onto my neck as he answers, placing warm wet kisses down the length of it. He turns our bodies so he can slide me up on the bed and continues to hover over me, his mouth trailing further down my chest. “Any other questions, Ms. James?” His breath feathers across my skin, causing chills to spiral through my body.
“Mmm hmm,” I answer in a moan.
“What do you need to know, baby?” he asks, his hot breath leaving the material of my nightie damp across the top of my breasts. He has me panting and I’m not even naked.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to eradicate my heavy breathing in order to answer him. Once I feel like I can talk without sounding like I’m running, I open my eyes back up to find him looking up at me through thick lashes as he descends on my torso.
“Can I blindfold you?” I blurt out.
Mitchell smiles with his mouth still pressed against my nightie and arches one eyebrow. “Yes. Would you like to do that now?”
I nod my head then watch him stand and reach for me. Taking his hand, I slide off the bed and stand before him. I reach up and take the tie out of my hair that I’ll be using as the blindfold and instruct him to sit on the bed.
Once I have the blindfold tied securely around his eyes, I begin to unbutton his shirt and slide it off his broad shoulders. I’m really impressed when I get a full view of his upper body for the first time. His abs are really cut, more so than I imagined, and it makes me want to lick them. Immediately, I run my tongue over the valleys and peaks of each muscle. I decide to stop there for a minute, since getting his pants off is going to take his participation as well. I notice that he brought in the chocolate sauce and candies and smile.
After unfolding a chocolate mint candy from its wrapper, I crawl onto his lap and hold on to the back of his neck with one hand. I run my tongue along the outer shell of his ear and feel him tense beneath me while his hands grip tighter onto my hips. “Open your mouth for me, Mitch,” I whisper just before nibbling the bottom part of his lobe.
Mitch draws in a deep breath then slowly opens his mouth just enough for me to slide the minty chocolate onto his tongue. I gently guide his jaw shut on the left side while kissing him on the right. I can feel the vibrations from his humming of approval against my chest; it was working for me.
I grab the chocolate sauce and guide him backwards, pouring the sauce over his stomach. His muscles tense with the feeling and the coldness, giving me exactly what I wanted.
I unbuckle his belt and slide it out of his pants, then unbutton his pants. I tuck my fingers inside and grip the top of his pants as I lean forward, rubbing myself against him and causing him to release a pleased yet frustrated groan. My tongue finds the start of the chocolate trail and gets started licking it up, placing kisses on him whenever I need to swallow all the delicious chocolate laced with the essence of Mitch. I wiggle my hips in between his legs and press down firmly, as close as I can get to him, in order to reach up to his neck. I bite gently on his collarbone and that’s his undoing. He rips the blindfold off and flips me over so I’m now the one on the bottom. Starting at the hem of my nightie, he drags it up and over my head, leaving me completely bare before him. He drinks me in like a man in dire need, and I revel in it. This is going so much better than I had hoped. He has an amazing body and together our kisses are effortless—we actually have chemistry.
Mitch stands back and removes his pants and boxers, leaving me gaping at him. I’ve only ever seen one other guy naked before and I will not compare the two—there is no comparison in my book—but Mitch is gorgeous all the way down.
“I love the chocolate, babe, but why don’t we go get in the shower so I don’t mess up your white bed.” He reaches down and pulls me to him, smashing our bodies together and kissing me senseless. Well, almost senseless. The idea of getting in the shower with him, having sex in the shower with him, almost sends me into a panic. I can’t do that, not with him.
Breaking from the kiss, I shake my head and rest my forehead on his chest as I reply. “I’d rather not, if that’s okay. I can clean you up real quick and the bed will be fine.”
“Sure. It’s not a big deal. Are you okay?” His face expresses his concern and confusion. It makes me feel terrible.
Running my hands over his chest, I smile brightly at him, telling him I’ll be right back. That seems to placate him a little so I go for some washcloths and on my way back, grab a minty chocolate.
“Here, suck on this while I get you all clean, Mr. Vanderhorn.” I pop it into his waiting mouth then kiss his lips. I need to push all thoughts of the past aside from here on out and see this through. I have my future sitting right in front of me and he’s pretty incredible.
“All right, but you need to hurry up, Macie. My patience is running thin, real thin,” Mitch says, smiling around the chocolate on his tongue.
His words settle down around us as I take in his handsome features. Doubt begins to creep into the darkest corner of my mind. Greyden’s presence today planted that seed of doubt and now it’s evolving into something ferocious that I can’t afford to let in. “Mitch, even with the type of relationship we have, we still talk, right? Like confide in each other with our feelings or fears or whatever?”
“Of course, baby, what’s the matter?” Ever since I’d been given my own personal nickname of Butterfly, the endearment “baby” always sounded superficial to me, even when I heard my brother use it towards his wife. However, having Mitch use it at this very minute seems comforting and necessary. We don’t have the type of relationship where we have something secretive between the two of us and that’s okay. If he’s willing to give me a pet name like “baby” and be sincere with it, I’m willing to go along with it happily.
“I’m nervous,” I say. “I know we have chemistry just based on what we’ve done so far, but what if we don’t connect once we actually go further? We both have a lot riding on this, Mitch. We both want t
his to work so badly I’m afraid that it isn’t going to.” I finish cleaning off his chest so I don’t have to meet his eyes. I’m making this real right now. I’m being honest like I really am, not beating around the bush and holding back like I have been lately. This is the real me that he’s getting now, what he should’ve been getting the whole time.
“Macie,” he stills my hand and waits for me to look at him, “we have a real relationship. We just do a few things that might be considered dysfunctional in the eyes of other people. You should always come to me with your thoughts and feelings.” He takes the cloth out of my hand and starts wiping up the remnants of chocolate that he passed onto me when he smashed our bodies together earlier. “As for what you just admitted to, we do have a lot riding on this, which is why I can’t wait another minute to be inside of you. It’s going to be mind-blowing; it’s not possible for us not to work, Mace. The two of us together are remarkable and it can only get better from here.”
Mitch on paper is everything I’ve ever dreamed of and every day he offered to give me everything I have ever wanted. The more time we spend together the more personal he’s become. His personality leaked out more and more on a daily basis and it was difficult not to fall for him.
Once we clear up my fears and his chocolate mess, we make love. Mitch is gentle and caring. He whispers to me the whole time, letting me know how good everything feels and that together, we really are amazing. When he slides inside of me, I have slight hesitation on my good feelings. I’m momentarily taken back to a different time and I have to rush to shove those feelings and memories aside. I need to be with Mitch right now, not with my past. We may not have created the Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular, but it’s amazing and we do connect on an extraordinary level. Mitch can love me and I him and now I know that we most likely will for the rest of our lives.
I’m cuddling on his chest, just dosing off, when he kisses the top of my head and slides out from under me. “Where are you going?” I ask, confused.
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep and I really need to get some work done before tomorrow, so I thought I’d go home,” he explains as he gets dressed.
He’s going home. To work. This is where I’m supposed to accept him for who he is, but it stings badly. We just had sex for the first time and he’s leaving me to get work done. All of my good feelings go out the window and I’m left fighting tears, feeling confused and lost.
Mitch continues to get dressed. He apologizes, but he didn’t ask if it was all right, and he isn’t asking permission, just filling me in. I get up and dress in a pair of yoga pants, a sports bra, and a tee. I have a feeling I won’t be sleeping right away. Mitch takes my hand and we walk to the front door, where he kisses me softly.
“Are you happy?” He has the nerve to smile. It’s a small smile, but it’s still a smile.
“That you’re leaving? No.”
His shoulders sag, but his hands remain on my shoulders. “I was talking about our chemistry in the bedroom that you were afraid would be lacking. I’m sorry you’re mad. This is what we need to get used to, Mace. I have to work, a lot.” His eyes widen to emphasize “a lot.” “I’m really sorry, baby. Why don’t you come by the office in the morning around nine and we can go to breakfast? I have a meeting at ten-thirty, so it’ll have to be quick, but I’d love to see you.”
Taking a deep breath, I agree and kiss him again before seeing him out. I close the door and sink to the floor. Is this really what I want for the rest of my life? That was good sex. No, that was great sex, yet it didn’t quite reach the best sex I’ve ever had and I know it never will. The problem is, I will never have sex as good as I once had because I won’t ever be with my one perfect person ever again.
I end up crying on the floor in front of the door for a good fifteen minutes before deciding what I need. I get in my car and drive straight to Greyden’s apartment, pulling out my phone as I park and calling to make sure he’s by himself. I saw his car in his space so I know he’s home. I have every intention of just going up there until I remember he’s been having Ally around quite a bit lately. That would just be icing on the freaking cake.
“Hello?” His voice comes through clear and deep as he answers on the first ring.
“Hey, are you alone?” My voice sounds awful, like I’ve been crying for the last half hour, which I have.
“Yeah, are you okay?”
“I’m here. I’ll be up in a minute.”
I grab my keys and phone and jog up the stairs to his apartment, where he’s standing, waiting for me. I can see the worry etched across his face as I reach him. He pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly. A couple tears leak out onto his bare chest and I bury my face as deep as I can as he smoothes down my hair and rubs my back.
“Let’s go inside, Butterfly.”
I turn and walk in, noting that it’s silent and pretty dark; he must have been in bed. “Will you get me a glass of ice water please, Grey?”
“Sure. Are you going to tell me what the hell is wrong with you?”
I shake my head as I walk to his hall closet and search for a clean set of linens. “I just needed to see you tonight. Please leave it at that.”
He turns and goes to the kitchen to get my glass of ice water as I change his sheets. Greyden isn’t a dirty guy, but I can’t be sure that he changed them since the last time he had a girl over and rather than having that awkward conversation, I’ll just change them. Seeing as how he watches me pull them from the linen closet and doesn’t stop me, it’s probably a good idea.
I’m just starting to put the fresh sheets on when he comes into the room and sets my water down on the nightstand. Greyden helps me finish making the bed, then we both climb in and I snuggle right into his waiting arms.
“I need to fix whatever’s hurting you, Mace, but I can’t do that if you don’t tell me what it is.”
I can’t hold back the tears anymore because what it all boils down to is that it’s ultimately him that’s hurting me. “You wouldn’t fix it even if I did tell you, Greyden. It’s not fixable, so please just let me lie here and cry. That’s what I need tonight. After tonight, I swear I won’t do it again.”
“Macie, I swear if I ever hear you say anything like that again, I will lose my shit. You always come to me, always, you hear me? I don’t know what’s going on with you tonight but I love that you came here and I’m sorry you feel like I can’t fix it. I fucking hate that you feel like that. But I’ve always told you that you come to me no matter what, nobody else, not even your boyfriend, who I can’t stand by the way. Seriously, Butterfly? Mitchell Fucking Vanderhorn?”
I sniffle and use the comforter to wipe my eyes and his chest, but I don’t respond. I knew he was going to have a problem with me having a boyfriend and with Mitch specifically, but tonight isn’t the night to deal with that issue.
I turn around and get my water, taking a big drink before offering it to Greyden. He takes a drink as well then I set it back down and lie down with my back facing him. Grey pulls me back into him, cuddling closely with his left arm draped across my stomach. I fall asleep feeling split in two. One side is content and at peace, like I’m where I belong, in Greyden’s arms and in his bed. The other side feels completely guilty, as if I’m betraying Mitch. I know I can’t tell Mitch I left home and went to sleep in Greyden’s bed when he left my house even if it was completely platonic, and that alone should’ve kept me from going, but it didn’t.
I have terrible dreams all night long, one after another, of Mitch walking into the room where Greyden and I are sleeping. Then one where Grey and I are actually kissing on his front porch and Mitch is standing out in the parking lot, watching.
I wake up early the next morning, the guilt eating me alive. I rush home to get ready for my day so I can meet him for breakfast and hopefully put an end to all the guilt and vow to never turn to Grey again.
Chapter Seven
October 7, 2006
Greyden’s 20th Birthday
It had been a long week. They’d started classes a little over a month ago and were all working hard in their second year of being college bachelors. Grey was working as much as he could down at his dad’s office still, making sure he knew it inside and out even though he had every intention of going out on his own as a financial consultant when he graduated, not working for his dad’s consulting agency. Declan was training like a mad man and accruing some low level fights while maxing out on his class schedule in order to get it done as quick as possible. Keeg and Luca were both full time students taking on the normal workload, just trying to survive the professors with a hangover.
“Grey!” Keegan shouted from across the small bonfire.
Greyden looked through bright flames and watched Keegan walk towards him with two fine ass girls in his arms. They were both hanging on him and laughing like he was the funniest guy there was. Greyden knew Keegan was pretty comical, but he wasn’t that damn funny.
“Look what I got you for your birthday! I’m pretty sure I just won me the o-ffic-ial ti-tle of best friend, buddy!” he exclaimed in a singsong voice just before he kissed the blonde to his left then gently pushed her towards Grey’s direction. “Not only did Layla here bring you a shot of…” He looked at the girl for assistance and she shrugged her shoulders then handed Greyden a plastic shot glass filled with something that smelled like alcohol.