Without Hesitation

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Without Hesitation Page 20

by CJ Azevedo


  “Don’t think. Let’s just be us tonight. Let me take care of you tonight so you can sleep really,” he licked down her neck, “really well. I promise to let you sleep in and then get you breakfast in the morning. But tonight,” another lick and then a nibble across her collarbone, “just feel, Butterfly.” His low, raspy voice was making her cave against her will. It was sandpaper against honey oozing out of the sexiest man she knew.

  Macie was lost to a world that was a mixture of sleep and sex deprivation and she wasn’t going to fight the man who promised her a cure for it. She sank further into the mattress after he removed her shirt. Closing her eyes, her hands finally wandered the familiar plains of his back and arms while his hands and mouth wandered over every inch of her, causing her tense muscles to turn liquid.

  He lowered himself so his mouth was level with the top of her yoga pants. His tongue trailed along her skin right at the waistband, making her quiver from the inside out. His strong fingers hooked in and pulled them down her hips, along with her panties, making her body light with fiery flames.

  She lifted her hips as he laced kisses down her thighs. Cupping the backs of her knees and pulling her down to him, he kissed her navel and grabbed her hands from her sides, bringing them up to above her head as he raised himself to a hovering position again.

  Lost in a world of pleasure didn’t even cover it. Macie was out of this world with just feeling. His fingers teasingly trailed down the insides of her arms, causing her to shiver. When the bed sank beneath her with movement, Macie became coherent enough from her sex-hazed state to take notice that his warm mouth was no longer making her feel so delicious. She sat up to study his actions, but couldn’t make sense of them. Using a condom was something they never did; he had prepared her for that before they even started having sex. They only slept together for three days before they broke up, but it was frequent enough that they decided they didn’t use them together.

  “I haven’t stopped taking my pills, Grey,” Macie stated in confusion.

  Greyden smiled half-heartedly. “That’s good. We’ll still use this, though,” he replied as he rolled on the condom, still straddling her.

  “You hate using condoms.” Macie was in full on frown mode now.

  “I do with you…yes, but we’ll use this just in case.” He tried kissing her to change the subject, but she wasn’t buying it. Frustration filled her veins and she shoved at his chest.

  “Just in case, what?” Macie turned her head away from his kiss. “My pill isn’t enough protection for you anymore? You don’t trust me now?” Macie was so irritated with him she wasn’t thinking clearly, she was just mad.

  Greyden growled in frustration and threw his head back. He was hoping to avoid this. “Of course I trust you. You’re probably the only person on this planet that I trust implicitly. Can you trust me now and just let me use the damn condom, please?” He brought his eyes back down to hers and stared intently. He could see her brain working overtime. She was coming to conclusions on her own and he hated that. He just hoped that what she put together didn’t make her stop him, because he missed her and at this point he needed to be inside her more than anything else.

  Once he got her nod of approval, he moved his head slowly toward hers, kissing her like they hadn’t just spent the last year apart.

  Macie was deflated. She was a hot mess. She didn’t know how she was going to come out of this and be emotionally stable. She knew there was no way Greyden had been celibate through the last year, but she could hope…and she had. But he just confirmed that her hoping had been fruitless and now, even though she wanted to be here with him more than anything else and pretend they were back to normal, other girls had invaded her thoughts.

  “Get out of your head, my beautiful girl.” Greyden pressed his body against hers. She could feel his abs, tight and hard, against her stomach and his firm thighs along the outer edges of her own.

  His lips found hers and sucked her bottom one into his hot mouth; she felt a delicious sting with the bite of his teeth. Macie moaned and arched into him. Grey nudged her legs apart with his right knee, all the while caressing her throat with the tips of his fingers.

  Greyden reached down with his free hand and guided himself into the one spot that he had been longing for. The immediate sensation was almost too much for him. Macie was his perfection, nobody had come close since he had been with her and he was damn certain nobody ever would. He was also certain that this was the worst idea he’d ever had.

  “Ooohh, God,” Macie moaned, pressing the side of her face into the pillow and squeezing her eyes shut as Greyden slid inside of her.

  “Oh fuck, you feel fucking amazing, Macie.” He drew in a deep breath then lowered his head so he was right next to her cheek. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I’ll go slow.”

  “No. No, don’t. Just keep going,” she panted, still not looking at him but lifting her hips to get the friction she so desperately needed.

  Greyden growled deep in his throat as he pushed forward, causing his body to slide up against hers and then down again. The only time he stopped was to suck on her neck, exposed and begging for his attention, and then once to kiss her mouth, open and gasping for air. He whispered to her the whole time he was inside her and she fought like hell to keep the tears at bay.

  Macie kept her eyes closed. She didn’t need to see his face like this. She knew how sexy he was; she still dreamt about his sex face. She feared that opening her eyes and looking into his would ruin any hope she had of remaining whole after this night.

  After finishing together, like two fireworks exploding for the grand finale, he rolled her over to her side so she had to look at him. They lay there side by side, just staring.

  “Tell me about this other monstrosity you’ve added,” Macie whispered as she slowly stroked the tattoo along Greyden’s ribs and down his back.

  “I got the falcon first, not long after we broke up, actually. Then I sort of got addicted to the gun.” Grabbing her hand, he guided it leisurely over his side. “This one is a Chinese water dragon.”

  Macie watched as their bonded hands cover the detailed tattoo. “Why the dragon? What’s the meaning?”

  “This guy…he’s loaded down with all kinds of cool shit.” Greyden’s eyes were large and serious, but when Macie’s laugh burst out of her pretty mouth, he smiled, liking the way she finally looked relaxed and sated.

  “Like what?”

  “He represents the path into greater enlightenment, which, let’s face it, I really could use. They’re also thought to bring prosperity and good fortune. There are a ton of other beliefs for dragons as well, that’s why they do the parades with dancing dragons. You know what I’m talking about?”

  Macie smiled, holding back a laugh at his confused enthusiasm and nodded.

  “So I figured if a country dedicates parades and certain years to them and believes that their dragons will really help them out, then I figure the one I permanently place on my body has to help me out at least a little bit, right? I mean, at least this guy gets to go places and isn’t stuck on a calendar in the kitchen or on the top shelf of a closet for eleven months out of the year.”

  Greyden was completely serious. Macie couldn’t hold back anymore. She laughed until she had tears coming out of her eyes and it was difficult for her to draw in a deep breath. Her laughter was contagious and Greyden couldn’t help but chuckle at her.

  Their laughter died down eventually and they found themselves once again facing each other, just staring as if they could each see into each other’s souls, dissect one another’s thoughts, touch the other’s heart.

  “I love you.” His voice was low and his face so serious she couldn’t bear it.

  “Don’t. Please.” Her head shook slightly and she let her eyes do the begging.

  Greyden cupped one side of her face and slowly nodded his head. Allowing himself another few seconds before breaking their quiet cocoon, he finally said, “Okay. I’ll be right back.”
<
br />   He came back with his tight boxers on and a sad smile. She curled into his chest and arms when he lay down next her. She reached up and fanned her eyelashes against his cheek, then slunk back down to his chest. She was in a deep sleep within minutes.

  Chapter Fourteen

  February 2014

  Greyden

  I’ve been sitting at my desk for the last five days solid. At least that’s what it feels like. I need to have an automatic door put in for all of the meetings I’ve had recently; it’s been overwhelming. I’m at a place where I never thought I’d be; I actually have a waitlist of clients. I physically cannot handle another case. If it wasn’t for Claudia, I’d be a complete mess. The girl is an organizational genius.

  It also helps that she looks like a Victoria’s Secret model, so when I have to cancel a meeting or deliver bad news to a client I have her do it; they take it much better from the redheaded bombshell. That was her idea. I had to tell a client that he made a terrible investment before he switched over to my company and lost a shit ton of money. He was pissed off at me and expected me to get that money back. When I told him it doesn’t work that way, I had to call security, since I didn’t want to go to jail. Before security could make it up to my office, Claudia came in with a cup of coffee. It took all of my inner power not to laugh my ass off when she walked in like it was the magic cure. Granted, I see her as a close friend, so I totally missed the sex kitten vibe she was already putting off. She had unbuttoned her top to a very unprofessional level, let her hair fall down, and sashayed her hips all the way over to him. As soon as she leaned over (while he was still standing) to offer him the coffee and spoke in her raspy, sexy-as-sin voice, I was done. I turned around and faced the window, counting until I heard them talking about the races that weekend. I would have left if I felt comfortable leaving her with him, I needed to laugh badly, but I wasn’t going to risk his insane ass crossing a line with her.

  She thought it was funny that I totally checked out on their conversation so she refused to tell me what she said to him to get him to leave peacefully, but he had all of his paperwork signed off that next morning and his money was out of my hands. It couldn’t have come fast enough; the guy was a nutcase.

  “I cancelled your last two appointments today.”

  Claudia’s voice brought me out of my thoughts and the trance I’d been in. I’ve been staring at the papers on my desk for a very long time now. I can’t even see the top of my desk, the whole thing is covered in stacks and stacks of papers, with more scattered papers across the top. I can barely see my phone.

  I lean back in my chair and rub my eyes. “I bet they’re pissed. Why’d you do that?”

  “Because you’ve been staring at those papers for at least the last fifty-three minutes. That’s when I started keeping the time, anyway. You, me, and Brandon are going golfing. For fun, not business. You’re drinking, I’m driving, and then when we’re finished, we’re meeting some friends for another drink, for fun. Got any problems with that?”

  I can’t help the chuckle that comes out. Claudia is a spitfire, that’s for sure. “I actually have several problems with that, but I’m too damn tired to argue with you.”

  “I was banking on that. Shut down and pack up so we can get the hell out of here. I need a Bloody Mary.”

  “I thought you said I was drinking and you were driving?”

  “I did and I am, but I can’t play golf and not have a Blood Mary.” On that note, Claudia leaves me to shut down for the day and change into my golf clothes.

  I keep a small wardrobe here for the times that my favorite clients call and say “hey, we need an extra guy” and I get to spend my day playing on the best courses instead of staring at the mountains of paper on my desk. Those days don’t happen often, but they do happen.

  It doesn’t take me long to get out of the office and we meet Claudia’s boyfriend, Brandon, at the clubhouse. He’s a cool guy, though we don’t have much in common other than the fact that we both like to work out and golf, and we both care about Claudia (so I guess a few things, and good ones). He worships the ground that girl walks on and as long as it stays that way, I really don’t give a shit about anything else.

  We finish nine holes in good time and move on to Fox. Fox is a local bar that used to be a rundown hole in the wall, but it’s been renovated and has a totally new, contemporary vibe. It’s a trip when you walk in, because the outside looks no different than the other buildings that have been there forever, but then you open the door and you’re instantly transferred to another place. Everything is all chrome, black, and white with large prints up on the wall and a chrome floor with massive black appliques of different-sized swirls scattered on it. The tables are black lacquer with white leather chairs and booths. The only color in the place is on the drop lights and they’re bright yellow.

  I’ve only been in here a few times, but each time I think of Macie. I can’t help but wonder if she’d love it or hate it. I think she’d love it. I know it’s not her normal style, but she loves interior design as a whole and although I’m not an expert, this place is done up well. I think she’d be impressed. I want to see the way her eyes would light up looking at all the décor and hear her gush about how the designer must have gone about the process of putting it all together. I don’t give a shit about any of that, but her passion is contagious.

  We head over to a booth where three girls are waiting. I’ve met them before and I’m a little irritated that Claudia failed to mention that it’s these three we’re meeting. I don’t want a hook up. I’m not looking for her to find me a girlfriend and especially not with one of them. They annoy the shit out of me. They’re all just as sexy as Claudia, but the difference is, they act like it and they don’t have sweet personalities like she does. They expect me to fall at their feet and that shit isn’t happening.

  I stop and pull back on Claud’s arm. “I’m cuttin’ out. I’ll catch you later.”

  “No. C’mon, more people are coming, I promise, and I already told them that you’re not an option and to not even try, so you have nothing to worry about.”

  I shake my head at her pouty lips and follow behind her, hoping like hell she isn’t lying to me.

  Thankfully she didn’t lie and her friends apparently listened. Other people do show up and they’re cool. We sit around and I have a few beers but make sure not to drink too much. My dad’s barely hanging on these days, so I’m constantly playing it safe, making sure to always be ready for “the call.”

  At just ten o’clock I’m sitting at the far end of the long table we’ve congregated around, talking to this hot as hell lawyer. Her name is London Robinson and she’s far from boring. I find myself laughing a lot and having no desire to leave. It’s the first time in a very long time that I’ve had any interest at all. At one point I look up and catch Claudia’s eye; she’s watching us with a dreamy smile that makes me laugh. Damn girls and their way of romanticizing everything. She winks, then leans into Brandon. London’s telling me about this ridiculous case she got stuck on when my phone vibrates in my pocket. I’m so caught up in what she’s saying that I ignore it. When it goes off again a few minutes later, I stop breathing as I slip it out of my pocket and slide the screen on. I have five missed calls, without checking to see who it is, I shove my chair back in a panic and ask London rather abruptly to excuse me, then race outside. I have to unlock my phone again by the time I make it outside, looking up blearily to see Claudia by my side with a soothing hand on my back.

  Claudia doesn’t know about my dad. Macie begged me to tell people last year but my parents want to keep it quiet so I don’t have a choice.

  I pull up the missed calls, but they’re not from my mom and in a flash I’m relieved, confused, and scared shitless again. I have two missed calls from Declan, one from Ava, one from Keegan, and one from Luca. None of them texted or left voicemails.

  “What happened?” Claudia whispers as she continues to rub large circles on my back.


  I shake my head as I hit the call back button for Declan. “I don’t know yet.”

  Dec picked up as soon as it started ringing. “Grey, been busy?”

  “Yeah, man, I didn’t hear my phone,” I apologize. “What the hell’s going on?”

  “Thought you’d want to know that Macie’s in the hospital. She had to have emergency surgery for some shit; Ava can explain it better. She’s out and she’s sleeping now.”

  “What? How long have you been trying to call me? When did she go in? What the fuck’s happened to her? Did anybody try calling Claudia?” I look to Claudia. Her eyes go round and she shakes her head no, telling me that nobody called her.

  “We would have called her if we had her number, you asshole, but maybe you’re forgetting that you’ve completely cut us all out of your life,” Declan says, changing his tone from annoyed to downright pissed off. “So no, none of us tried calling Claudia.”

  I slump back against the building, feeling totally defeated. It felt like everything I’d accomplished in the last few months wasn’t worth a shit. Everything I sacrificed in order to get my life where Macie said it needed to be in order for me to have an actual marriage worth having, even if it wasn’t going to be with her, was now all for nothing. Declan was right, I had cut all of them out. I hadn’t balanced well at all.

  “I need to come see her.”

  “They’ve kicked us all out. Mitch is in there now with her, saying goodnight, but you can come down in the morning. We have Harper’s ballet recital so none of us will be coming in until after ten.”

  “Harper’s in ballet?” Where the hell have I been? I’m sure that’s cute as hell and I can’t believe I’ve been missing it.

  Declan laughed lightly on the other end of the phone. “Yeah, I’ll send you a video.”

  “Dec—”

  “I know, Grey. Your shit ends now, though. We miss the hell out of you. Come see our girl in the morning, then come to our house for lunch afterwards. I’m sure Harper will be excited to show you the medal she’ll be getting.”

 

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