by CJ Azevedo
My mood has gone from the gutter (where I found it lying cold and lifeless this morning after I checked the calendar) to soaring in the clouds. I just know I’m pregnant. I haven’t been feeling well and I’ve been brushing that off because I knew I needed to get in to get that shot but I would only remember right after we had sex or late at night, never when I could call and make the appointment. And in all honesty, I wasn’t totally stressing out over it since the doctor said it would probably take a really long time for me to conceive. Well, if I am pregnant, it didn’t take long at all, and that doctor was very wrong. Did I screw up? Hell yes, I did. Did I do it on purpose? Absolutely not. I know Grey would have given me everything he promised without the possibility of a baby, this truly was a slip of the memory, but we’re okay now and I couldn’t be happier that he is so on board already.
Floating on my cloud, I open the door breezily and my cloud gently sets me back down on the hard ground of the real world.
“Hello, Allison.” She stands there looking uncomfortable, holding a pretty houseplant in both her hands as she bites her bottom lip.
“Hi, Macie. Is Greyden home?”
I stand back to allow her inside. “He’s in the kitchen, c’mon in.”
She smiles kindly at me and walks inside, then waits for me to lead the way. She knows her way around this house, so it’s a nice gesture.
At the sound of footsteps, Greyden starts talking before he looks up. “Butterfly, we’re out of lemonade mix but you have this raspberry stuff. I’m not sure if it’s caffeinated, though.”
“That’ll work, but you have company right now.”
Greyden spins around quickly, his posture tensing when he takes in the appearance of Allison. “Hey,” he says, reaching his hand out for me.
I grab it and squeeze it quickly. “I’ll give you two some privacy.”
Greyden shakes his head slightly, his eyes begging me not to leave, and I’m not sure if it’s for my benefit or his.
“That’s okay, Macie,” she says to me before directing a kind, unsure smile towards Greyden. “I just wanted to drop this by and give my condolences. I heard down at Max’s about your dad just after he passed, but I didn’t want to come by or call too soon. So anyway, I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you and I’m really sorry.”
I let go of Greyden’s hand since he doesn’t seem to be moving and get the plant from Allison. “Thank you, Allison. That’s very kind of you. It’s been a really rough few weeks around here and although Grey would’ve been grateful for you stopping by or calling then, your thoughtfulness on waiting is much, much appreciated.” I take the plant and set it on the windowsill in the living room. I won’t be leaving it there, but Greyden needs to get his butt moving and thank her and as long as I’m standing right next to him, I don’t think he’ll make a sound.
“She’s right,” he says softly. “That was very thoughtful of you, thank you, Ally. How’ve you been?”
“I’ve been all right. I’ve missed you,” Allison whispers just loud enough so I can still hear here from my place in the living room.
“Yeah, I’ve missed you too.”
“I heard she’s not getting married any more. Are you guys finally back together then?”
“Yeah, we are. Getting ready for the whole marriage, family long haul shebang.”
They’re quiet for far too long and it kills me because my imagination starts to run wild. I want to know what they’re doing. Why isn’t anyone saying anything?
“That’s good,” she finally says. “That’s really good. I’m happy for you, Grey.”
“Thank you, and thanks again for the plant.” They’re silent again and I realize that I have to just sit down on the sofa and pretend to read this magazine that’s on the side table since I can’t exactly run down the hallway before they come through here to get to the front door.
They come out and Greyden gives me a scowl and smirk at the same time; he knows I was eavesdropping.
Once he says goodbye and closes the door, he lifts me off the couch to carry me to the master bathroom. He starts the bath water and I pour in my favorite bubbles.
I begin to undress and Greyden goes to collect our purple boxes. I’m tying my hair up when he returns with the bag, my juice, and a beer for himself. “Are you going to take this before we take a bath?”
“Yes. I can’t wait any longer.”
Greyden chuckles and it makes me pause. I love that chuckle and I love the way it makes me feel. “Butterfly, just remember that if happens to be negative, it doesn’t mean it won’t happen. We’ll just try with more focus this time and maybe get married first. Like next month, so your dad and Declan don’t kill me.”
“Ok, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be positive. I’ve been feeling different and my clothes don’t fit the same and you kind of can’t deny being a week late.”
His brow furrows. “I thought you said that could have been a number of things?”
“Well, it can, I just don’t really believe them. Crack open a box, baby,” I say as I hold out my hand, standing before him in just my bra and thong.
Chuckling again, he opens a box and tears open a wrapper. He hands me the stick then begins to unfold the instructions as I sit on the toilet. “Oh my God,” he says, completely freaked out.
“What?” I ask, jerking the stick away from legs.
“Do you think women really put that stick in their vagina often enough for them to have to warn them not to?”
“Seriously, Greyden? You almost gave me a heart attack.” Now I feel like I can’t hold my pee long enough to do this correctly.
“Hold on. You have to remove the purple cap. And make sure you’re holding the stick down, not up, in your urine stream for five seconds.”
“Done.”
“Did you listen to anything I just read?” he asks, looking completely put out that he just read two seconds worth of self-explanatory instructions.
“I’m excited and I read it on the box in the store, so I already knew what I was doing. But you did well. Now we wait.” I place the stick flat on the counter and try not to watch it but fail completely. I end up hovering over it while I wait. Grey comes up behind me and undoes my bra, sliding it off my arms. When I look back down, my world stops.
It’s negative.
I turn around and hug Greyden while I grieve a pregnancy that was never there. The plummet from my high is so extreme it made me nauseous. We stand there in the bathroom in silence and just hold each other for quite some time before he helps me out of my panties and into the bath.
When he slips in behind me, I lay my head on his chest. I’m heart crushingly sad, but I’m not going to cry over this. Oh, I feel the tears, I feel like a freakin’ basketcase just waiting to explode, but I refuse to go there anymore. God gave me my Greyden and now we can marry and have our babies just like we planned.
“Can we please get married soon?” I manage without sobbing.
“Yes.”
“I don’t need a big thing. I’m sure our moms will want that and that’s fine; we can do a reenactment for them later. But I’m talking like me and you, this weekend.”
“I think we need to have your parents, my mom, your girlfriends, and the guys there, sweetheart. But we can do that this weekend, sure.”
So we’re not traditional. We never have been.
“Okay.”
Once Greyden gets us both washed and rinsed off, he wraps me in a towel and lays me in his bed. I pull him down and kiss him soundly before letting him stand back up. “I have to go wrap some things up at work. I won’t be long. You take a nap and we’ll go out to dinner when I get home.”
I agree. A nap sounds perfect.
Chapter Twenty-Two
April 2014
A Wedding
All the wrapping up at work I had to do was call Claud and tell her I’m not coming back in. Then I head to the hospital to see Mark. Thankfully, he’s at work today. I don’t want Nancy spilling
the news to Macie again like she did when Mitch was about to propose. I don’t need anything happening the same as that relationship.
Mark comes out of the doctors’ lounge in his green scrubs, looking exhausted, his step faltering when he sees me. I’ve never come here by myself, only with Dec and even then not since we were kids. “Greyden. Are you all right? Is everyone okay?”
“Yes, sir. I was hoping I could talk to you for a few minutes.”
Mark smiles, still looking tired but much more at ease now. He gestures for me to follow him to the room he just came from. We sit across from each other in some comfy leather chairs and he just keeps smiling at me. “So is it that time already?”
I smile because his was contagious. “What’s that?”
“What can I do for you, Greyden?” He sits back in his chair, settling in.
I choose to stand. “I’d like to ask Macie to marry me.”
“You have my blessing,” he says without missing a beat. His smile couldn’t get any bigger than it is right now and I feel all the relief in the world. I knew I was anxious to ask him, I think I didn’t realize how much until I got his approval.
“Thank you, sir. I also have a favor to ask, one that isn’t my business, but I’d like to request it anyhow.”
“Go ahead.”
“Can you please not mention this to Mrs. James?”
His smile disappears and he frowns before asking, “Is there a reason why?”
“She told Macie before Mitch proposed and I’d like to keep that from happening again.”
Mark laughs, shaking his head. “Yeah, I can keep this secret. I didn’t know she did that.”
“I’m asking her tomorrow morning, so you won’t have to keep it for long. And just a heads up, she wants to get married this weekend.”
He narrows his eyes, glaring at me as if I’m going to spill my guts like when Dec and I got into trouble when we were kids. “Any particular reason why?”
I nod my head and sit back down. “We want a family and she’s terrified she won’t be able to have one of her own. She wants to start looking into her options now but wants to be married before we start anything and I agree.”
“So she’s not currently expecting?”
“No, sir.”
“Well then, I guess we’ll see you at your wedding this weekend. Congratulations, son.”
“Yeah, that’s the plan anyway. I’m headed over to Dec’s now, so as long as he doesn’t attempt to put me in the hospital, all is a go. And thank you.”
We shake hands and I leave him behind to go over to my best friend’s house. We had just worked our shit out when my dad died and Dec found out that I was seeing Macie without him knowing. I wasn’t doing it behind his back deliberately, I just hadn’t taken the time to go over and fill him in. Then he found out the worst way possible. He still doesn’t know the ins and outs of our history and I feel like he needs to know at least some of it before he can agree to me marrying her. Otherwise it’s just like we dated for less than a year over six years ago, started dating again right after she got out of a broken engagement, and have only been seeing each other for two months before I wanted to ask her to marry me, and oh, by the way, we’re getting married in five days. Yeah, he’s going to beat my ass.
I punch in my codes and ring the doorbell because I know Harper likes to answer the door. She pulls open the big, heavy door and runs to me. “Uncle Grey!”
“Hi, Princess Pea! Where’s your momma?”
“Don’t know.” She shrugs her little shoulders.
“What if I was a stranger?” They have so many codes and cameras on this place I know someone is watching me right now. I just like to hear her talk like she knows everything.
“Then I would yelled ‘Stranger Danger, Stranger Danger!’ and goed to find Daddy.”
“You do too know where I am!” her mother calls. “You’re always making me out to be an absent momma, but you were just baking cookies with me in the kitchen, you little stinker.” Ava comes up behind her, tickling her tummy and making her giggle so much she flips around like a fish out of water.
“Hi, sweetheart.” I lean over and kiss Ava on the cheek as she gives me a hug around her daughter.
“Sleeping with my sister isn’t enough, you have to move in on my wife now too?”
I sigh heavily. I was really hoping to get a mild Declan today, but that clearly isn’t going to happen.
“Oh, knock it off, Declan. They’re adults. You need to get over it already,” Ava admonishes him as she takes Harper from me.
“Yeah Decky.” Harper says with all the attitude of a toddler and I strain to hold in my laughter.
“Daddy.” Declan reminds her softly completely ignoring the fact that she and his wife just told him off.
Harper cocks her head to the side and stares him down. “Decky,” she defies. Declan exhales in defeat.
“Okay Miss Thing, that’s enough. Let’s leave Daddy and Uncle Grey to have big boy talk.” Ava puts out the fire and heads back to the kitchen.
Declan stands in the foyer of his home, staring at me, waiting for me to mess something up, so I decide to try and fix our friendship before I ask permission to marry his sister. “Are you ready to work this shit out once and for all? I’m done with you hating me, so just get it out and let’s get it over with.”
“Let’s go out back,” he suggests bluntly, turning around.
I follow him out back, where Ava hands us both a beer and tells us not to kill each other. I want to laugh, but she’s serious, so I guess I better be too. Dec sits across from me and leans on his knees, picking at his bottle label. “Keeg let it slip a couple weeks ago that he thought you guys may have never really let go of your relationship when you broke up.”
I suck in a deep breath and blow it out slowly. I wasn’t counting on that. I didn’t really want to tell him everything because I look really bad over the years from his perspective. So much for that plan. “Sort of. There were a few years in there where we were just friends.”
“And the other years?”
I take a long pull from my beer and look away. I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t just get up and smash my face in. That’s sort of his style.
“Right. I’m fuckin’ pissed, Greyden.”
I nod my head. “I know. Look, all I can say to justify any of it is there was a reason why I told her about my dad shortly after we found out. I wasn’t allowed to talk about it to anyone, but she needed me and I needed to confide in her. That sort of bonded us throughout the years. My dad’s illness fucked me up way more than I would allow myself to admit, but Macie stood by me. I know I fucked up with her before, but I can’t change what I did as a kid and she can’t change the mistakes she made, either.”
“Why’d you let her almost get married if you guys were so close then?”
“Dec, she begged me to stay away early last year. Shit, had I known it was going to go down the way it did, I never would’ve listened. But I’ve always given Macie everything she wanted and even though it killed me, I walked away each time she told me to.”
He sits back and lets this new information absorb while he drinks his beer. “You love her then?”
“Dude, sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe. And I’m only saying that shit to you because I know you understand.”
He finally smirks a little and I know I’m in the clear. I reach in my pocket and toss him the ring box I’ve had for a month now. Dec catches it and looks up at me, surprised. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, if you’re cool with it. I just talked to your dad. He’s on board.”
He opens the box and blows out a low whistle. “That’s nice, man. She’ll flip out.”
“I hope so. She wants to get married this weekend. I’m proposing tomorrow morning.”
“Why?” He’s instantly pissed again.
I shake my head and laugh. I guess I should start leading with that. “She’s not pregnant but she wants to be. With the whole surgery thing, she�
��s freaked out and doesn’t want to wait, so we’re not going to.” I take a deep breath, figuring I can spill my guts to my best friend. “I’ve actually been planning this for a while. Well, not this exactly. I wanted to do it all the traditional way, but for some reason we can’t seem to do to anything traditionally. I was planning on talking to you and your dad the day my dad passed…I had this whole thing planned out for her. Then I decided to hold off so it would be all about her, you know? But Macie started getting impatient and decided she needed to be married in five days.”
Declan laughs and nods his head, knowing his sister well. “All right.” He sighs. “Call me tomorrow after you pop the question and let me know where to be and when. You know I’m there, man.”
We stand and he shakes my hand. We’re back, finally.
I go home and wake up my lady the best way I can think of. I can tell she’s down but I’m determined to switch her mood. Once she’s awake and sated, we shower, taking our sweet time. It’s not serious, we have fun and laugh the whole time. Macie complains the entire time she gets ready for dinner about not having fresh clothes to wear and we finally start talking about our living situation, a conversation I’ve wanted to broach for a while.
“Well, if we’re going to get married this weekend, then we should probably figure out where we’re going to live,” I rationalize.
“We’re really going to get married this weekend?”
“Did you change your mind already?” I look at her through the mirror with raised eyebrows. That would just suck.
“No, definitely not, just making sure you didn’t.” She continued with her makeup.
“Not happening, Butterfly. So am I moving in with you or are you moving in with me? This place isn’t ready to sell yet and I’m not sure if I could get enough rent for it, but we could look into it if you want to keep your place.”
“No, I’m actually ready to sell my place, so this works out. I’ll put my house on the market and move in here. Then we can finish flipping this place and get a home together.”
“Look at my little real estate mogul, already wheelin’ and dealin’.”