As in, I enjoyed the silence, my mind close to empty.
Today, the cargo hold felt like a different place entirely.
Instead of being dimly lit with low-burning, gold-colored running lights, the stadium-sized cavern appeared stark and bright with white-hot overheads, including a wall-length glow-worm sac affixed to the upper bulkhead that radiated a sharp, green-tinged glow.
Members of Ledi's crew rode loaders up and down the various aisles, pulling boxes down with coordinated, crab-like pinschers they operated with metal gloves. Like many of the machines here, I found the basalt-black, mobile units vaguely insect-like, more like big, stupid pets than machines. The crew seemed to ride them that way, too, arguing with them and cursing them out as often as they noticeably worked the controls.
Since talking to Ledi that day, I’d made more of an effort to listen to the human gossip, too, especially about me and Nihkil.
My Pharize still pretty much sucked, though.
As a result, I didn’t learn much. I did hear a few things about how they viewed Nik differently since I’d been around, but I sensed they were reacting more to a feeling than anything Nihkil was actually doing.
That, and a number of them had seen Nik touching me.
Publicly, I assume... since he was clearly touching some of them a lot more than he touched me. Apparently public contact between a human and a morph was unusual enough that it elicited a fair bit of theorizing.
And Ledi hadn’t been lying; they all thought I was sleeping with him.
“Dakota.” Nihkil appeared in front of me, somewhat out of breath.
Seeing him up close, I couldn’t help but stare.
A black, form-fitting uniform shirt clung to his upper body, different from anything I’d seen him wear up until then. Its high-necked collar showed just above the edges of a tailored-fit, black jacket. The pants I recognized as the same style as the thick, ribbed pants he wore whenever he left our room without me, except this pair was spotless, a deep black with no burn holes, stains or grease marks from his penchant for crawling under machines.
The only spot of color on him came from his eyes, which were currently green, and his belt. A pale white ribbon wound around one jacket sleeve, which I knew marked him as a full-blooded morph.
For the first time, I noticed that he’d gained weight... a fair bit of weight, actually... and it wasn’t fat. Nik looked almost athletic.
It struck me to wonder if he could do that to himself as part of his morphing abilities, or if he'd done it the normal, human way, meaning via exercise. If it was the latter, I had to wonder again what he’d been doing with himself when he wasn’t in the room.
Besides the one thing, that is.
His hair had grown, too; it nearly reached his shoulders. He pushed it behind one ear even as I noticed, and when I glanced back at his face, he returned my gaze sharply. His eyes, which were already darkening, looked borderline defensive.
“What?” he said.
“What do you mean, what?” I gave another cursory glance to his clothes and his hair, frowning. “You were looking for me, right?”
Nihkil shook his head, his lips firming as he looked away.
“Yes,” he said finally.
Fumbling in his jacket, he withdrew a mong stick packet, offering one to me. He’d finally stopped hiding that little habit from me, too. I’d smelled it on him off and on for weeks before I figured out what the hell the smell meant. Everyone on the ship seemed to chew on the damned things. I had no idea why he cared whether I knew that he did, as well.
I shook my head to his offer.
Mong sticks were kind of like supercharged caffeine and gave me a buzz, which made my hands shake, too. Given where we would be in just a few minutes, I wanted my head clear.
At the very least, I didn't want to risk falling on my face.
“We need to talk, Dakota,” Nihkil said.
I couldn't help noticing he spoke English, and without the translator.
Clearly he didn't want to be overheard. His English had improved a lot in the past few weeks. Almost a scary amount, truthfully.
“...We are landing in a few hours," he added in the same language, giving me an odd look. "You need to understand a few things, first. Things I've held off on telling you, because I didn't want you to worry."
"So you tell me now," I muttered, folding my arms. "When I have no time to adjust to the information whatsoever."
Ignoring my words, Nik took a bite of the mong stick, after kneading the end with his fingers. Immediately, the sweet-smelling aroma filled the air. "They are going to react to you down there... badly, I suspect, once they see your age and sex.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “They don’t know those already?”
Nik didn’t meet my gaze. “Ledi told them the basics. That is not what I mean precisely.”
“So what do you mean?” I said.
“I mean they will find you attractive, Dakota,” Nihkil said, blunt.
At what must have been a startled expression on me, he averted his eyes, muttering under his breath in another language, not Pharize or Merensic.
Shaking his head, he said in English, “It will not be an advantage, I assure you.”
The look he gave me that time bordered on annoyed. I still couldn’t tell if that annoyance was aimed at me.
Either way, as he continued, his expression remained hard.
“I have already received offers here... on the ship,” he said. “That will be much worse when we reach the surface. Even apart from the breeding requests. They’re not going to like it when I say no. They will like it less, the longer we are there.”
“Offers?” I said, feeling my jaw harden more. “Breeding requests? Nik, what the hell are you––”
“You are not to fight with anyone down there,” Nihkil said, cutting me off as he turned, facing me. “I know your Pharize is good... better than you usually let on. No fights... physical or otherwise. I mean it.”
I frowned, still staring at him incredulously.
He didn't look over. I was about to give him a hard time about that, too, but Nihkil seemed preoccupied, almost as if he’d forgotten I might have my own opinions about his words.
“Do you mind sharing a bed with me while we are there?” he said finally.
Startled, I glanced up at his face. His eyes had turned a dark orange color, one I'd learned to associate with his discomfort.
“Aren’t we sharing a bed already?” I said warily.
“You know what I mean,” he said.
“No,” I said. “I don’t. Why not spell it out for a change, Nik?”
“They are pressuring me to arrange breeding partners. Not only for you.” He avoided my eyes, staring at a pile of boxes. “For me, too. It would... simplify things, if I could reduce the number of my required cards. I could only do that if I named a primary breeding partner. Even then, our agreements would need to be witnessed... if you agree, I mean.”
I just stared at him. When Nihkil didn't return my gaze, I folded my arms, making my expression more deliberately pointed.
"Uh, Nihkil?" I said finally, clearing my throat when he didn't turn.
That time, he seemed to snap out of whatever trance into which he'd fallen.
Glancing over my face, he frowned.
"I'm not propositioning you," he said, pronouncing the word with exactness. "I merely require an explanation for my unwillingness to take cards. You can deny access to the tapes, since you are human. No one will know."
Remembering my conversation with Ledi, I swallowed a little, my voice neutral.
"Take cards?" I said.
"Yes." He took another bite of the mong, again offering it to me.
Again, I waved it away, a little impatiently that time.
“...I am required to fulfill a quota while I am on Palarine, like all full-blooded morph,” Nik explained. “Merely having a primary breeding partner will not get me out of this arrangement entirely, but it will minimize the
demands they make on me."
Hesitating, he glanced at me. That time, his expression held more of that openness I remembered, from when we'd first met.
"It would be a favor to me," he added. "I would make no further requests."
Feeling something else behind his words, some emotion that struck me as stronger than usual, I felt my face warm.
After a pause, I felt my anger deflate, too.
"Sure," I said. Shrugging, I waved a hand, then folded my arms. "I just wish you’d actually explain things to me, once in awhile." Hesitating, I glanced back in his direction. "You said they'd still make demands on you... ?"
He made a vague, almost dismissive gesture. "It is not your concern."
I frowned, but before I could pursue that little info-dump, something else occurred to me.
“Aren’t they going to notice if I don’t get pregnant?” I said. “I mean, that's the point, right? To make little half-morphs, for the betterment of the Republic?”
“No,” he said. Then he glanced at me. His eyes grew thoughtful. “Well... yes,” he amended. “In most cases, that is the purpose, yes. But you are a foreigner. They will assume that something else is preventing our reproduction, or delaying it, perhaps. Something biological to do with where you are from. In any event, we shouldn't be there long enough for this to become a serious problem." He glanced at me then, his eyes that sharper orange. "If you are asking for personal reasons, I am registered as being fertile.”
I found myself nodding to that, too, even as I refolded my arms, taking a half-step away from him. I couldn't really think of an appropriate response.
"Great," I said finally. "Right on, man."
His mouth hardened perceptibly.
“It is a favor to me, yes... but I am trying to help us both, Dakota. If we do not tell them we are attempting to breed, they will also likely force me to assign you a biological mate... likely one of the other morph or humans under their employ.” Muttering, he added under his breath, “I have not been very successful at convincing them that you are unlikely to be from their First Planet. They will want to do many things to you to try and determine the source of your origins, particularly in terms of reproduction and DNA. There is a problem with fertility in many humans here... many cannot reproduce at all. It would benefit you greatly if they did not see you as the solution to this problem of theirs."
My mouth fell open, but he seemed to preempt my indignation.
Turning, Nihkil said sharply, “If you refuse intercourse altogether, they will build a case to steal your ovum. They are already trying to bargain with me for this. They have so far been thwarted by my clan representative on Palarine, who is working to uphold my right of claim. But we cannot keep them away indefinitely without convincing them we are working hard to assess your fertility in the more... conventional sense."
While I continued to stare at him in disbelief, Nihkil took another bite off the mong, his eyes holding some anger now.
“...Even as we speak, they will be researching a way around this, Dakota,” he muttered. “They already requested the DNA sequence from your blood samples so they can try to reproduce it artificially.” He lowered his voice still more. “It is mainly political... but their fears about infertility are real enough. They will want to use the issue of your mate as leverage. They would assign someone who is loyal to the military council.”
But I was still stuck on the first thing he’d said.
“Why would they think I could help them with their fertility problem?” I said. “And if the issue is human fertility, why would they let me reproduce with a morph at all?”
He shook his head, giving me a faintly irritated look.
“You do not understand,” he said. “Morph and human offspring are able to reproduce with humans, without exception. Morph are almost always fertile. We have been a partial solution to some of their problems... but we are few, and many among the humans are not happy with what they perceive as a mixing of human blood with another species. You, on the other hand, are full-blooded human...”
Nihkil gestured vaguely towards my body, but didn't follow the gesture with his eyes.
“...More and more humans are born sterile every year,” he added. “Those who are born pure-blooded are sterile in over 80% of cases now. If they were able to determine the difference between your DNA and theirs, they might be able to thwart what they see as a crisis point in the next fifty to one hundred years. Even among the current generation who are registered as fertile, only 5% of full-blooded human fetuses make it to term. This problem is beginning to skew the demographics of both Mydara and Palarine already."
I frowned, glancing at my guards before taking a step closer to him.
"So you believe it," I said finally.
"Believe what?"
"All that bullshit about how Earth couldn't be First Planet... you don't really think that at all, do you? You think it could be." I studied his face. "Maybe you even think it is."
Nihkil also glanced around us, frowning. His voice grew more careful.
"This is not an appropriate discussion. Not even here."
"But more here than the room?" I said.
"I would say so, yes."
He offered me his mong again. That time I took it. I felt his eyes on me as I put it to my lips, my fingers shaking slightly. His voice turned more reassuring.
"Let us just say I believe there is a risk, Dakota,” he said. “And that I do not think having this confirmed would be good for you. That is not the same thing as a guarantee that my suspicions are correct."
I nodded, biting another piece off the mong and handing it back to him. "Okay."
His expression still cautious, he gave me a sidelong look. “Do you trust me, Dakota?"
I looked up, letting him see me frown.
“Do I have any choice?” I said.
He averted his eyes, which were now blue. For a long moment, he just seemed to be thinking. Then he sighed that melodious sigh of his, and glanced back in my direction.
"I suppose not,” he admitted. “Not a good one."
Rolling my eyes, I smiled, in spite of myself. "Well, then... yeah, I trust you." I folded my arms, shrugging. “...For whatever that's worth."
Nihkil nodded solemnly.
I had no idea what he thought of my actual words, though.
When I bumped his shoulder with mine, if only to get the serious expression off his face, he smiled in surprise, looking at me directly. That faint surprise remained in his eyes as he caught hold of my wrist. As he continued to hold onto me, though, that serious look returned to his expression, even as it surfaced in his voice.
"So I can tell Yaffa, Leader of the Republican Fleet, that you are a breeding partner to me?" he said, gripping me tighter. “...My primary one?" he clarified. Watching my eyes, he hesitated. "This is one area where they follow morph law, Dakota.”
“Meaning what?” I said, wary again.
“Meaning... you have primary rights over my reproductive capacity,” he said at once. “They cannot force me to do otherwise, if you are witnessed making specific demands regarding my behavior, Dakota.”
I stared at him, hearing something more behind his words, or maybe seeing it in his eyes. When I tried to get additional information through the lock, however, I came up blank.
“If you would rather not...” Nihkil added, his voice cautious. “...I understand. I cannot get you out of the requirement altogether, but I can allow them to arrange for someone else, if you prefer to share your bed in the more conventional sense."
Staring up at him incredulously, I burst out in a laugh.
“Oh, for crying out loud!” I said. “Yes, you can tell your creepy Republican leader that we're breeding partners. We fight often enough, I’m sure they’ll believe it.”
Shaking his head, Nihkil looked away.
That time, I caught the half-smile on his face.
Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one.
A woman with short, honey-bl
ond hair, one of the females in Ledi's crew, walked by at that precise moment, wearing work clothes. She watched Nihkil’s face in something like disbelief, right before her gaze shot down to where he still held my wrist.
Nihkil released me at once, even as his expression faded, falling back into that blank look I remembered from when I'd first been locked in the room with him.
I found myself staring after the girl, though, feeling a low surge of anger as it occurred to me that Nik might be sleeping with her, too. I bit my lip, maybe to keep myself from asking him outright. Even so, I saw him hesitate, studying my face.
I didn’t speak, still trying to control the feelings that warred in the back of my mind, not really wanting to dwell on those, either.
When he spoke, his words only managed to confuse me more, though.
"There are things I have not told you," he said. "Things about my people... things that the humans think about us, but also things they are not aware of. But now is not the time for that conversation, either, Dakota."
I met his gaze, hiding my irritation badly. "Will there ever be a good time, Nihkil?"
"There will," he said, his voice firm.
Looking at him, more sharply that time, I felt my jaw harden more.
“Nik,” I said, blunt. “I know about the other women.”
He didn’t so much as blink. “Yes,” he said, giving a short nod. He didn’t meet my gaze. “That is part of what I would like to discuss with you, Dakota.”
“But not here,” I clarified.
“I would prefer if it wasn’t here, yes.” He gave me a bare glance, but I saw the faint apology that lived there. “If things were different, I would be making a different request of you, Dakota. You must know that.”
I gave an involuntary snort. “Yeah. I bet.”
“Not only that,” he said, his voice hardening.
When I glanced up, his expression verged on cold.
“In relation to the cards,” he said, that anger still audible in his words. “I would be asking you for something different, Dakota... if things were different between us. I would be asking you to forbid me to do it altogether.”
“Why?” I said, staring up at him.
The Morph (Gate Shifter Book One) Page 17