I shifted my eyes back to Ledi.
It struck me again that compared to the others, Ledi looked almost... normal.
Despite his King-Lear-meets-sand-mystic clothing, something about him still made me think of the cute guy at school, like the captain of the football team and student body president all wrapped in one. This, in spite of the fact that his overall build appeared more compact than conspicuously athletic. His body looked more like Nihkil’s, in fact.
Ledi’s features didn’t match the rows of Pharei, either. Instead of wide and dark, his eyes appeared sharp, almond-shaped and bright, as well as being set relatively close together.
His hands and much of his weight rested on a bone-like cane.
Yulen’s appearance provided the usual slap to the face in terms of not being in Kansas anymore. Her skin shone a near-purple in the red sunlight. Transparent lids moistened her orange eyes, and never had I seen a living being stand so completely still. A robe swirled around her muscular body like black liquid.
I felt the woman’s eyes on me even before my gaze drifted that way.
Something about the woman’s stare felt almost physical.
I found myself remembering a job me and Irene got hired for in San Francisco. It involved a creepy shaman and his cult of strung-out followers who all thought they could read minds. Their leader threatened to “get me” through my dreams when I informed him that one of his ex-followers hired me to stop them from harassing her for having the temerity to leave his fucked up little “family.”
I still don’t know if it was some kind of mental suggestion thing or what, but I didn’t sleep for shit until they caught that Charles Manson sicko molesting one of his underage “students.”
Not long after that, they finally put him behind bars.
Irene got even more messed up by that whole thing than me. She claimed the guy was sending her terror sweats, even after they put him in prison. She threatened to quit if we ever went near any “sorcerer-types” again, as she put it. Granted, it was a red-letter day, getting that guy off the street, but I pretty much agreed with her.
Nihkil’s voice reached me in a murmur.
“Dakota,” he said. “You are behaving well... but for your own sake, try not to give her ammunition if you can.”
“Ammunition?” I murmured back.
“Your fears. You are broadcasting your fears... specific ones. Things she can use.”
It took another few paces for his words to sink in.
“She’s reading my mind?” I heard the note of panic in my own voice. “Already? How can you tell?”
Nihkil’s fingers tightened on my wrist, that time a more overt warning.
“Mind reading is not the most precise term,” he said. “But it is useful to think of it this way, yes, as information can be garnered by her that would suggest such a skill.” At what must have been a flat look from me, Nihkil frowned. “She is not being rude... yet. But do not give her more reason to go looking in your mind and memories, Dakota.”
He gave me an apologetic look, shrugging.
“...I know you are not trained in such things,” he added. “I apologize for that... but I felt it was more important that we try to regain control over the lock, first. Before I confused that with yet another unfamiliar skill set, for which you had no reference point on Earth.”
I started to speak, but again, Nihkil preempted my question.
“That is different,” he said, softer. “What occurs between you and me... that is not telepathy. That is from the lock.”
“What’s the difference?” I murmured.
“We can only do it with one another,” he said at once.
I paused on that, too. I could tell he didn’t want to say any more on the subject right then, but it was really damned hard not to ask.
After fighting it back and forth in my head, during which time it occurred to me that we were almost within hearing range of our welcoming party, I let it go.
Seconds later, Nihkil came to a halt, and me with him.
I watched in surprise as Nik bent forward, bowing so low that his fingers trailed the stone.
When he straightened, Ledi broke into a smile.
”My friend!” he said. “You look much better at this meeting. Marriage suits you!”
Stiffening, I glanced sharply at Nihkil and saw his skin darken a shade. I knew the word for “marriage” in Pharize. I didn’t know if it meant exactly the same thing as it did in English, but either way, Nihkil had some serious explaining to do.
It occurred to me in the same set of seconds that Ledi spoke as if he hadn’t seen Nihkil in weeks. Perhaps he even hadn’t seen him in weeks, maybe since our walk up to the ship’s bridge that day. Or perhaps Ledi and Nihkil simply wanted the fat man with the tabernacle on his head to believe that Ledi hadn’t seen Nik in weeks.
I’d already guessed that the fat guy with the weird headgear must be Yaffa.
Whoever he was, he cleared his throat.
Ledi smiled in the direction of his several chins, bowing in apology.
“Forgive me, Admiral Yaffa,” he said, confirming my guess. “I am very pleased to see my old friend in better health. The difficulties of our trip made it nearly impossible to track his progress and that of his new ward, as I informed you before... and I admit to being somewhat ashamed for having mistreated him at our last meeting, on Trinith.”
Turning, Ledi smiled at me directly that time, his eyes a touch warning.
“...Although his behavior at the time much alarmed me, I confess,” Ledi added. “He clutched this female like his life depended on it... covered in blood, a knife sticking out of him. I thought he had quite lost his mind.”
Something in Ledi’s tone as he met my eyes made me stare at him again.
I wondered just how scripted this meeting was, and what the show meant exactly. Clearly they wanted Yaffa to believe Ledi had no interaction with Nik or me following our capture. What I couldn’t puzzle out was why. Was Ledi covering his own ass, so he had plausible deniability around whatever Nihkil might have told the hierarchy about me?
Or was he trying to protect Nihkil in some way, too?
Nihkil’s fingers tightened.
Remembering the supernatural, I did my best to blank out my mind.
Even so, I couldn’t entirely prevent my eyes from flickering briefly to Yulen.
The woman... or whatever she was... stared back at me in complete disinterest. When I couldn’t hold that stare and looked away, I found Yaffa staring at me, too. Unlike Yulen, his eyes roamed over me with a great deal of interest. In fact, he looked as if he were planning to buy me and was trying to figure out exactly how much I was worth.
After a few more seconds of that, I felt my teeth gritting.
“I am told you have not been successful in impregnating her,” Yaffa remarked to Nihkil, as he continued to stare at my legs. “How hard have you been trying?”
I coughed... or maybe choked, it was hard to tell.
When I glanced up, I saw Ledi watching me, a borderline-amused look on his face. Even so, I caught the thread of seriousness beneath the surface expression.
He glanced between me and Nihkil, as if trying to answer Yaffa’s question on his own.
Nihkil’s expression didn’t falter. “I have only recently made the request of her, sir,” he said. “But I assure you, the attempts have been sincere.”
Again, I had to fight not to laugh.
Replaying something in his words then, I glanced up, realizing he’d said something similar to me once before, something that perhaps meant more than how I’d taken it at the time. Something about making requests... or perhaps he’d wanted me to request something of him? Frowning, I studied his face, trying to remember the exact context, what words he’d used. I continued to stare until I saw his eyes harden. Realizing he didn’t want me looking at him right then, I took a breath, facing forward with a blank expression of my own.
The fat man didn’t appear to notice, b
ut Ledi clearly had.
“I suppose the creature is suffering,” Yaffa said, still staring at my body. “These primitive humans, they do suffer, don’t they? They feel the absence of animal contact, particularly in a new situation such as this. Well, we will certainly remedy that, and soon—”
“I have not given her permission for that, sir,” Nihkil cut in.
There was a silence.
I felt all three sets of eyes shift to me.
Even Ledi’s eyebrows lifted slightly, right before he glanced between the two of us, letting his eyes linger longer on Nihkil’s expression.
Turning my head away, I murmured to Nihkil in aside.
“Is this absolutely necessary?” I said in English, so softly it was more like an exhaled breath.
Nihkil answered in the same language, his voice equally low.
“I suppose that depends,” he said. “Do you want Yaffa visiting our quarters while I am being questioned?”
I glanced up at Nihkil, then at tabernacle-hat guy.
Up close, he looked even more like a fish than he had from a distance.
Ledi had a poker face once more, but I couldn’t help wondering if he understood more of our words than he was letting on. I thought about what he’d told me about Nihkil changing, becoming different since I’d been around.
Nik certainly picked up Earth sarcasm well enough.
“And if I decide to stop being a nun?” I said, my head once more turned away from the other three. “Are you going to cast me aside... husband? Have me stoned? Or simply force yourself to ‘do your duty’?”
Nihkil’s expression blanked.
That time, he didn’t answer me.
When I glanced back at the others, I saw Ledi staring between the two of us again, that time, the curiosity on his face overt. The amusement was back, but the puzzlement remained equally, if not more prominent in his eyes as he looked between the two of us. Clearly, he was trying to understand what he was seeing. Whatever he understood of our words, I definitely got the sense that he’d picked up that we were arguing.
Either way, something in the way Nihkil stood there, staring at the high tower of rock on one end of the mesa, made me think that perhaps I’d gone too far. Startled at the look I could see forming on his face, I squeezed his fingers.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured.
Hesitating at his continued silence, I glanced at Yaffa before adding, “...And no worries about the kid thing. I get that you’re trying to help. Hell, if we get stuck here, maybe we should. Maybe if I was pregnant they’d leave me alone...” When Nihkil remained silent, I added, “But no way are you naming it... or teaching it self-defense. Or explaining the facts of life... or much of anything else, really.”
My joking grin faded when I saw the look rapidly rising to Nik’s face.
Nihkil was staring at me.
He seemed to have forgotten the other three standing there as his eyes widened on mine, the shock in them palpable. I was still trying to understand his expression when a pained look crossed his face, filled with enough emotion to startle me. It took me a second to see it as real, and that it actually came from what I’d said to him. By then, I could barely breathe from the lock. My fingers tightened as the feelings coming off him grew more intense, flaring into a near-physical heat in my chest.
I felt him fight to control whatever it was and fail.
Looking up at his face, fear hit me.
“Hey, Nik,” I whispered. “...I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean to make a joke of—“
Yaffa sniffed loudly, with obvious annoyance.
“It is rude to speak in another language without translation,” he said loudly. “In front of us. An alien language. One I do not know...” he added, as if concerned the point of his irritation wasn’t clear. “...It is rude,” he repeated, louder.
Nihkil didn’t answer that, either.
He stared off to the side now, not looking at any of us, an oddly blank expression on his face. Despite the lack of expression, he looked completely different than he had just seconds before. I barely knew him in those moments, and it scared me.
Yaffa sniffed again, louder.
“We are screening candidates for your own cards, morph,” he said, his voice still carrying that peevish irritation. “Your new pet hasn’t forbidden you that, has she?”
“Yes,” I said in Pharize, turning sharply. “I have. Forbidden it, that is.” I looked between Yaffa and Ledi. “I don’t want him taking cards. I already told him so, on the ship.”
Yaffa blinked at me, his jaw dropping. At first, he seemed to be nearly as startled that I had spoken Pharize as he was at my actual words.
“That is illegal,” he said finally.
“I am told it is not,” I said, my words clipped, as uncompromising as his. “I was told I had rights over his reproductive capacity, as his lock-holder. Is that not true?”
Ledi cleared his throat.
Both Yaffa and I looked over. Nihkil didn’t.
“She is right,” Ledi said carefully, giving Yaffa an apologetic look. “I’m afraid that a lock-holder has final say in reproductive rights for his or her morph. It is an agreement we made with the morph clans several years ago... it is a point of particular significance to them.” He motioned at Nik, his voice still apologetic. “Up until now, Nihkil Jamri has only had lock-holders within the military, Admiral. This is the first he has chosen outside of the Pharei hierarchy.”
Yaffa’s face turned bright red. Rather than aiming his anger at Ledi, however, he turned, aiming it deliberately at Nihkil.
“Is that true?” he said sharply.
“Yes,” Nik said.
“Not the law,” Yaffa said peevishly, raising his voice. “What she says. Did she ask this of you, morph? Did you agree to it?”
Nik’s voice sounded strangely far away. “I will, of course, do whatever my lock-holder wishes in this regard.” Giving me a bare glance, he added emotionlessly, “It is true she has forbidden me this, yes. She was not pleased with the cards I chose to take en route. She demanded that I stop.”
There was another silence.
That time it stretched.
I felt my face warm from Nik’s words, but kept my mouth shut.
Yaffa, on the other hand, stared at me with his thin mouth open, making him look even more like a flabby fish. Nihkil was staring at the rock floor as if he’d forgotten the rest of us as soon as he stopped speaking. Ledi studied Nik’s face, a deeper thread of puzzlement in his eyes, one that bordered on concern now. When the quiet continued, I felt my own nerves rise. I was deciding what to try next, wondering if kicking Nihkil in the shin right in front of everyone was an option, when Ledi did the equivalent.
Stepping forward, he clapped Nihkil’s shoulder, as if to snap him out of his trance.
“Ah,” he said, glancing back over his shoulder at Yaffa. “Perhaps I should have warned you this might happen, sir. I had noted the fondness these two shared for one another. If I am not mistaken, he put up quite a fight in relation to her own rights of association with the male members of the crew, not long after we brought her on board... didn’t you, Nihki’?”
The morph didn’t answer him, but I saw his face harden slightly.
“What can I tell you, sir?” Ledi grinned. “Our boy is a bit of a romantic, it seems. Who would have thought such a thing possible?”
Boy? I hid my incredulity badly.
No one in their right mind could call Nihkil “boy” and mean it.
I didn’t detect any sarcasm in Ledi’s words, though; in fact, something in his tone made me grit my teeth, even before I glanced at Nik. Even so, I couldn’t help noticing that Ledi’s words had what must have been their intended affect.
Yaffa recovered his color anyway, and sniffed.
Nihkil seemed to snap back from wherever he’d retreated, too, right about the time that Yaffa addressed him directly again, fanning his face with one of those cloth drapes.
“You are
expected to report promptly for debriefing tonight,” he said.
Nihkil acknowledged that with a polite gesture.
Yaffa sniffed, looking me over once more. “She is younger than you led us to believe. And obviously carries other attractions, even dressed as a beggar’s brat. I hope both of you will consider liberalizing your arrangement... for her sake, at least.”
Yaffa let his eyes linger on my legs and feet.
I had to fight not to hiss at him, or cross my arms over my chest.
And what was the deal with my age? I was twenty-six, not twelve. I didn’t know the exact conversions for calendars here, but found myself wondering if they thought I was younger than I was, simply because of my height and the heart shape of my face, which sometimes got mistaken for baby-fat, even in Seattle. It wouldn’t be the first time.
I couldn’t imagine what Yaffa thought he was looking at, in any case.
I wore a pair of Nihkil’s cut-off work pants, tied at the waist with one of his belts under a longer shirt. My entire body was dwarfed in his oversized clothes.
Yaffa’s eyes fell to where our fingers locked.
“You are touching her. Why?”
Nihkil didn’t answer.
When he maintained his silence, I glanced up.
Nihkil wouldn’t return my gaze, either, though.
I noticed that his fingers were sweating and tightened my grip on him, trying to reach him that way. I still felt discomfort on him, even if the emotions felt muted now, further away. I was about to try to speak, when Ledi stepped between us again, taking my arm.
“Let us by all means venture indoors.” He yawned, giving me a level but laden look. “...Before we all die in this sun?”
Yaffa looked about to argue, then seemed to take the point about the heat, squinting up at the red star. That time, when Ledi tugged on me, I hesitated only a second, then released Nihkil’s hand. I glanced back, but Nihkil still wasn’t focused on me. His now-gray eyes appeared to search the horizon instead, his face still carrying that blankness that somehow wasn’t blank at all, or maybe just not to me.
Before I could think about that more, Ledi steered me towards the nearest break in uniforms.
The Morph (Gate Shifter Book One) Page 19