At this, I laughed. I couldn’t help it.
The sound came out like a seal's bark, more in surprise than humor.
Ledi smiled with me, but his eyes remained sharp when I glanced at him.
“I said something amusing?” he queried.
“Yeah. You did.” Looking at him, I smiled, shaking my head. “Nik, possessive.” Smiling again, but with less humor that time, I folded my arms, before muttering in a lower voice, “He certainly doesn’t seem to mind lending me out to his friends.”
Again, I avoided the human’s inquiring gaze.
“What’s his deal, anyway?” I said, my voice harsher that time. “I watched all of those vids about morph, and they said they're pretty uninterested in other people. Nik doesn’t seem all that uninterested to me.” I looked at Ledi directly. “That thing you told me about, with the cards? That may well have been ‘duty’ for him, but Nik staring at that woman’s ass just now sure as hell wasn’t.”
There was a silence, as if Ledi were still running over my words in his mind.
"Those recordings are perhaps outdated," Ledi said carefully, after another pause. “...And written by humans. It is my experience that morph take on roughly the emotional spectrum of any being whose biology they emulate. Once they've patterned after a particular species, it remains a part of their psyche forever, even when that morph takes a different form. Therefore, it is almost impossible to know what kinds of emotional reactions to expect from a morph. That is what frightens so many, truthfully, in regards to dealing with them in close quarters. If a particular morph has lived or worked on worlds with more dangerous cultures or animals, it can make them quite impossible to control, even with the locks."
I was staring at Ledi again, trying to wade through his words.
"What about Nik'?” I said. “Where has he lived and worked?"
Ledi laughed aloud at that, shaking his head. That twinkling humor returned to his eyes.
"Nihki’ has been the property of the Palarine military for many years,” he said, smiling. “They are extremely careful about the forms they allow their favorite pets to take. I don’t think you need to worry too much, Dakota.”
Frowning at his choice of words, I shook my head a little.
"Nik wouldn’t like you talking about him like that,” I commented.
“Probably not,” Ledi agreed, unfazed. “But you get my point.”
“So that thing with him staring at that woman's ass,” I pressed, unable to let it go entirely. “Is he turned on by humans because he's human right now?"
"Presumably, yes."
"But he still carries the emotions of whatever crazed beasts he's been in the past?"
Ledi chuckled. "Presumably... yes." His voice grew a touch more serious. "Their emotions are monitored at all times through the locks, Dakota, no matter who happens to control the actual mechanism. Nihkil is called in if the fluctuations become too severe. All morph are burdened with this... it forces them to have a great deal of self-control, or they face reprogramming by the guardians. An experience, I am told, that is not relished by any of them."
I felt my mouth curl into another frown. "So they really are like pets?"
Ledi's expression grew difficult to read.
"More like slaves, I'm sorry to say,” he replied evenly.
At my scowl, Ledi paused, looking at me.
For a bare instant, a surprising depth flashed in his green eyes. The next time he spoke, his voice was the most serious I’d ever heard it.
"Not all of us are so blind, Dakota,” he said gently. “...But it is a convenient fiction for those in charge, to think of the morph as not quite alive in the way that those of our own species live. To see them as emulators of life, rather than the source of it."
"You joke around with him,” I said accusingly. “Pretend to be his friend."
"What makes you think I'm pretending?"
"So what was that b.s. in the hall just now?" I said, frowning again. "Obviously he can't say anything about where you take me. Why pretend he's allowing it, as if he has any kind of claim over me in the first place... much less over you?"
Another silence fell over the dark-haired man as he seemed to be thinking about my words. In that pause, his expression grew faintly puzzled again.
Then understanding bloomed in his eyes.
“You were not listening carefully, Dakota.”
“What does that mean?”
Ledi only smiled that time, shaking his head in what appeared to be amusement. After he gave a gentle tug to my arm, we resumed our pace down the market’s aisle. After we'd walked a few more steps, Ledi spoke in a lower voice.
“My point was more that, despite his actions, owning you is not comfortable for him.”
Seeing my startled look, Ledi clucked in affirmation.
“Yes, my dear... he owns you,” he said. “A morph still has rights of discovery over biological organisms, even here. We joke about the husband and wife nature of your relationship, but in truth, this is a legal fiction of its own, in a way. He claimed you when he brought you to Trinith from Earth. Nihkil could have revoked that claim, as Yulen... and clearly Yaffa... would wish him to do, but he did not. Instead, he utilized one of the few legal powers he has, which is the right to determine who owns his lock. It is not equivalent to human mating exactly, but it is tied closely enough to their reproductive drives that they were granted limited rights around this power when the initial treaties were signed with the morph clans."
Ledi plucked a piece of what looked like fruit off a passing tray, biting into its thick skin. An alarm went off and he waved his wrist at a sensor so that it fell silent.
“He’s never said it to me directly, but I’m fairly certain he's had more owners than simply the Pharei military, Dakota,” Ledi added through chews. “I don’t get the impression his past owners were particularly kind to him, either. In fact, he implied to me once that he was sold to the Pharei in lieu of being shot. He is lucky he proved to be so talented with the gates."
Ledi took another bite of the fruit, waving in the air with a hand.
“...The Pharei military,” he added. “With Yaffa as their delegate, allowed Nihkil to attend The Academy once they saw his test scores. And they released him as an adult, apart from the contractual obligations he faces under their revised agreement.”
Seeing the bewilderment in my eyes, Ledi smiled.
“Believe it or not, your guardian can be reticent,” Ledi said. “He was fairly well inebriated when he told me even those small bits of his past... and I’ve known him twenty years.”
I tried to picture Nihkil drunk, couldn’t.
Glancing at one of the nearby tables, I saw a blue-green stone twist in place on the metal tray, turning different colors in the overhead lights. Within a few seconds, it had completely transformed into a tiny person and leapt onto a customer’s hand, waving its arms. The woman, whose face was painted sky blue, laughed in delight.
Ledi added conversationally, “Nihki’ has given me restrictions on what I can tell you, Dakota. I have testified to his stipulations in record... so must adhere.”
My eyes left the row of bright-colored stones.
“What?” I said.
Ledi pointed to something behind me.
“And here we are!”
He halted in front of a translucent wall.
Across the front of it, colorful people paraded in a row.
It confused me until I realized the people weren’t real. When I got close enough, the body in the nearest window became mine. Seeing myself there in a few swathes of translucent clothing that barely covered my ass, I flinched in surprise, stepping back. The body turned back into a vacant-eyed stranger.
It hadn’t only been the nakedness that shocked me.
I'd been a little startled, truthfully, at how long my hair had gotten, how thin I was and how scraggly I looked, even when I wasn’t wearing Nik’s castoffs. It was a rude reminder of how much time had passed since I got
here... and that my face hadn't seen so much as a dot of eyeliner since I landed on that planet with Nihkil.
I glanced at Ledi. “You were serious about the clothes?” Looking back at the storefront, I wondered if I should be accepting this. “Really, I’m sure Nihkil and I would be able to––”
Ledi raised a finger. “That was at least half repartee, with myself and your mate,” he said. “Believe it or not, the thought of clothes for you had occurred to him, and not only for reasons of political convenience. It is by his leave that we are on this excursion.”
Inclining his head in a more friendly way, Ledi smiled.
“Besides, there is no sense in having disgusting amounts of money if you do not occasionally spend it.” His voice grew more candid again. “We must make you... well, respectable, Dakota. And normal, by Pharei standards. The more different you look, the more dangerous they will think you.”
I watched different outfits rotate in front of me, thinking.
I found it hard to believe I would look less conspicuous in any of the choices that alternated across the holograph pinioned up there.
“Your hair must also be cut to meet local standards.” Seeing my gaze swivel, Ledi raised his hands. “It must be done.”
I snorted, laughing. “Nap, my ass. What a big coward.”
“Who?” The jade green eyes twinkled.
I smiled, but my own eyes held a warning, even as I held up a hand. “All right. But I get final say. And I’m not shaving my head.”
“It never crossed my mind that you should,” he said.
Sighing, I followed Ledi into the store.
A FEW HOURS later, we sat in a restaurant, or what I couldn’t help thinking of as one.
Servants brought dishes in waves, offering options in different-sized containers.
Ledi and I sat at the edge of a great balcony, around a ledge-like table made of what looked and felt like solid stone. More tiered balconies continued down in steppes, like audience seats before the four-story window that showed a breathtaking view of the valley below.
The sun had already set, but I'd seen the last colors of that, too. They’d been dramatic enough for me to forget how hungry I was until the sharp oranges, reds and pinks faded to a dull line of indigo against the uneven horizon. Floor lighting kept the room dim even after the red sun disappeared, presumably to heighten the drama of a pitch-black night punctuated with more stars than I could ever remember seeing.
I saw a dark shape fly past one of the moons.
“What is that?” I said, pointing as I leaned out over the balcony.
Ledi didn’t seem to hear me.
When I sat back, his eyes lingered on my face, a faint smile at his lips. I flushed, recognizing the look just enough for it to embarrass and annoy me.
“Stop staring.” I picked at the food on my plate with a narrow spear. “Do these people know who I am? Where I'm from, I mean?"
“Do you mean the possible genetic answer to all of their fears of extinction?" After a pause, Ledi’s amusement faded. “...I suppose that isn’t really funny.”
I bit experimentally into a reed-like tube, then flinched when it squirted juice. “Is that a real fear? That whole, First Planet, extinction thing... ?"
Ledi raised an eyebrow.
“The 'extinction thing’?” he said dryly. “...Yes, I suppose you could categorize that as a real fear. The Malek, from what we can tell, have even more cause for concern around this than the Pharei. Historically, large families have always been a part of Malek culture, too, which makes their psychological reactions to infertility somewhat more severe. The Pharei scaled back to only one or two children per family a good four-hundred-years ago. Can you believe that the biggest problems faced by our people at that time were mainly due to overpopulation?”
Glancing at him, and thinking about Earth, I grunted.
"Yeah,” I said. “I could."
He added, “I apologize if my comments were misleading. I would not advise you to make light of this issue in any way when speaking to others. Most people here do not share my and Nihki’s lack of respect for the macabre.”
I gave Ledi another odd look.
Was he implying that Nik had a sense of humor? I'd seen glimmers of that, sure, but still couldn't read him well enough to guess what might set him off.
Realizing the silence had stretched longer than it perhaps should, I shrugged, leaning down to take another bite of the reed.
“You know, this is the best food I’ve had since I got here," I remarked.
Ledi leaned on the balcony with one arm, smiling faintly.
“That is because Nihki’ has no palette.” Ledi folded his hands in his lap. “I do not mean because he is a morph. Nihkil was born... or cursed, perhaps... with a practical streak a mile wide. It makes him a very valuable explorer. He is far less likely to get killed as he is relatively thoughtful before making any kind of move... particularly when all of the variables are not yet known to him."
I grunted at that a little, too. "You don't have to tell me."
Smiling when I glanced up, Ledi added, “Speaking of which, I must return you to him, Dakota. I have stretched the bounds of our friendship as it is.”
“Yeah, he’s freaking a bit. I can feel––”
“Speak of the gods, and they appear,” Ledi murmured.
I followed his gaze, seeing the tall, uniformed figure talking to a portal sentry near the door.
“On my world, it’s the devil,” I said under my breath.
Ledi heard me and laughed, looking up as Nihkil approached our table.
“General Advisor.”
“Nihkil, my friend.” Ledi smiled. “Feeling rested?”
I didn’t look up, but raised a hand to shield my face as I poked at the food on my plate.
I felt Nihkil’s eyes on me, though, and braced myself, waiting for the inevitable remark, expecting him to throw it at me via the implant, like he had in the Great Hall. He'd gotten in the habit of imitating both my teasing and my sarcasm, so I expected him to take the opportunity to practice, as he seemed to be doing more and more regularly lately.
But the remark never came.
Ledi chuckled. “Perhaps you should sit, Nihki’... ?”
I glanced up, my fingers and part of my hand still shielding most of my face.
Nihkil was staring at me.
He hadn’t changed expression, but I felt something different in him anyway, and his body seemed tense, as if he were struggling with something, maybe even searching for words. Seeming to hear Ledi then, Nik surprised me, lowering his weight between us on the circular bench.
He never seemed to want to be anywhere near me in public places.
He’d usually sit in a darkened corner in the common rooms of the ship, sending me off to interact with other humans without him. He certainly didn't invite social interaction between us in front of humans, not even ones he seemed to like, like Ledi.
In fact, apart from our conversation in the hangar, and the one we had as we walked to the bridge that day, Nihkil had scarcely spoken to me at all outside of our room, other than to tell me to stay near him and not to wander off on my own.
He seemed almost to fear humans.
All but me, anyway, and maybe Ledi.
Once he was situated next to me, I saw Nihkil’s eyes travel down to my feet. I couldn’t stare him down, or pretend his lack of expression didn't unnerve me.
I couldn’t really get him to look at me, either.
He didn't touch me, and somehow that felt deliberate, too.
At a loss, but in a way I couldn't really explain to myself, I eventually just looked out the window. Some part of me was waiting, I realized... for him to speak to me, to acknowledge me in some way. But he didn’t. He didn’t address me at all, not even via the implant.
He turned to Ledi instead.
“This is a bad idea," he said. "You went too far.”
I looked over at that, startled.
Ledi gl
anced between the two of us, smiling faintly. Then he tilted back on the bench, leaning against the boulder-like wall behind him. He wove his fingers together where he placed both hands over the middle of his chest.
“Whatever do you mean, Nihki’?” Ledi said then. He gestured around the room. “I have been envied tonight, my friend. You should have seen––”
“This is no joke.” Nihkil’s eyes flashed. “She will experience problems with the humans as it is. You must realize this.”
I touched his arm. “Nik, what’s wrong?”
He jumped at the contact, then met my gaze. For an instant, the stillness of his mask wavered. Reddening at what I saw there, I removed my hand.
I pushed my plate towards him a few seconds later.
“Are you hungry? I’ve eaten everything I can.”
It had become a game between us, to see if I could get him to eat in front of anyone but me. On the ship, he rarely would eat at all unless I was there, from what Ledi told me. He didn’t eat if anyone else was in the room, either.
After glancing at my plate, he shook his head, returning his gaze to Ledi.
“We discussed this,” Ledi reminded him.
“No, we didn’t––”
“Hey, I’m sitting right here.” I smacked the table with the flat of my hand, hard enough that both men looked over. “Do you mind?” I gave Nihkil a warning look. “Don’t you want to eat something, Nik?”
“No,” he growled in English. “I’m not hungry, Dakota.”
When my eyes widened at the anger in his voice, Nihkil’s face went blank.
“The hearing begins at fourth shift,” he said emotionlessly. “I came to see if you wished an escort back to our quarters.”
Ledi stared between the two of us. He didn't bother to hide his puzzlement even marginally that time. In fact, the look on his face verged on alarm.
I put down the spear I’d been using as a fork. “That would be fine. Thank you.”
I stood, and felt Nihkil’s reaction more than saw it. I stared at him, baffled when I saw him looking at my feet again. That time, I switched to the implant link, giving a thought-command to make sure the channel remained private.
The Morph (Gate Shifter Book One) Page 21