by Mark Walsh
This fight-flight reaction causes neocortical inhibition (you get stupid) and blocks the social engagement system (you get mean). Our lizard brains take over, we’re soaked in adrenaline and cortisol, and that is not a good thing for anyone. This activation leads to black and white, “us and them” thinking, and primitive, violent, ineffective response patterns.
The ineffective bit is important; if you want to effectively “fight” terrorism and not replicate it, it’s necessary to first relax, soften and open. And yes, I get it, at times like these that’s the last thing I feel like doing, too. The first act of defiance towards terrorism is not to hate. The fight response is not effective for fighting anything in the modern era. I say that both as a psychologist and as a martial artist.
It could be considered heartless to talk about anything but grief at such a time, and of course, any decent person feels for victims. But times like these are also very dangerous. Angry, scared people are easily driven into the arms of those who promise safety through violence and revenge. This is how both terrorists and oppressive, war-mongering governments win in the world.
FAR FROM HOME
We may find ourselves as strangers in a strange land, far from where we began – adrift from the body
We may find ourselves refugees, lost in thought and theory, drowning in opinion and opposition
We may find ourselves astray in the pages of a book, far from home, longing for the shores of animate aliveness.
DESPERATION
Today, while listening deeply to my body, I found something under the busyness and the “stress” (the socially acceptable, middle-class name for unhappiness). I found something that nobody wants to admit to, that I was feeling for myself and maybe for all of us: a “loser emotion”, that not even a new-age type who pretends to be vulnerable to get laid would admit to: DESPERATION.
Under it all, under the confidence, the having my shit together and the pretending to have my shit together for marketing purposes, the soft animal of my body is desperate for me to listen to her. She’s dying like the planet perhaps, and certainly running blindly towards a wall of doing, certainly being eaten by a cancer that few dare to admit to.
I’ll see all you somacide deniers in hell, because if we were brave enough to really be honest, we’d admit part of us all is already there, and we have nobody else to blame.
This isn’t a cry for help; this is a confession and an accusation. I’m actually doing great; I’m feeling strong enough to go there, so worry about yourself and not me. We are all, deep down, as fucking desperate as the fingertips of a drowning man – all that remains above the darkest ocean of despair – as he still smiles in the depths.
COMING BACK
Sometimes when I come back to my body and breath, I feel so sad.
I whisper, “I’ve missed you darling. I’m so sorry to ignore you.
Thank you so much for still being here, my lover, I’ll never abandon you again”
And we embrace and it’s beautiful
And she holds and heals me
Like no other .
And then I break my promise. Every. Single. Time.
It’s heart-breaking, And
She always forgives me,
And always takes me back.
AN INITIAL PRACTICE
Before we get too far into the book, I want to give readers a useful tool. Embodiment is nothing if not a practical field, so here’s a brief centring practice. “Centring” is a broad category of techniques used for self-regulation – for getting your shit together under pressure. Students regularly tell me these are some of the best “quick wins” from embodied learning. If you have any kind of stress in your life, they’re really useful. I’ve written a whole e-book on this subject, but here are a couple of classic techniques.
The basics
First, think of something stressful in your life. Nothing too hardcore or traumatic, but something a bit annoying or anxiety-provoking. After a few seconds, notice what you do in your body. Very likely it will be some kind of tension or collapse. Now, stop doing this. Simple. You just learnt to identify and reduce your distress response. Physiological distress responses are not useful as they make us less healthy, less smart, less creative and less kind.
Often, it’s useful for people to have a set technique to practise, to use when they know they have a stressful event coming up, to get them into a better state. Such an event could be a job interview, a first date, a presentation, or putting a child to bed. Try this ABC technique now and notice how is impacts you. If it seems helpful, practise it for when you need it. With practice, it should only take a few seconds to do. It should be done with the eyes open so you can use it in any circumstance.
ABC Centring
Aware – Be aware of your body sensations here and now. Feel.
Balance – Bring your physical body into as balanced a position as possible, and balance your awareness all around you.
Core-relaxation – Relax your eyes, mouth, throat, chest and belly.
Notice if you feel different from before you centred.
You could also add:
Connect – Think of someone who makes you smile. Connect with those around you.
See my e-book, “Centring” (https://embodiedfacilitator.com/product/centring-why-mindfulness-alone-isnt-enough-e-book/), for more on this topic, as well as later chapters.
WHAT IS EMBODIMENT?
There’s no one answer to what embodiment is. In workshops and interviews, I’ve found that it’s useful to describe embodiment in a number of ways – some technical and rigorous, some experiential, and others more poetic – and then to clear up common confusions. So that’s what I’ll do in this chapter.
AN EXPERIENTIAL DEFINITION OF EMBODIMENT
Notice your arm. Approach it as an object, a thing, not you. Poke it like you would an inanimate object. Notice how that is.
Now relate to your arm. Relate to “it” as part of you. Feel. Move. Perhaps remember how this arm has been part of your battles and loves, held babies, cooked meals, washed clothes, created art, and been part of your life. Feel and move. Notice how this is. This is embodiment.
SOME SHORT DEFINITIONS OF EMBODIMENT
• How we are
• The manner of our inter-relational being (how we are)
• The subjective aspect of the body
• An ontological4 approach to the body
• The body as “I” not “it”
• A type of intelligence
• A view of the body as more than meat, more than a thing, and more than just a “brain taxi”5
• The overall umbrella term for body-mind disciplines such as martial arts, yoga, bodywork, improvisation and conscious dance
• The body as a verb, not as a noun
• Being most fully alive, and most simply human
• The magic of the ordinary
• The art of coming home
• Not what you think!6
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE BODY, MINDFULNESS AND EMBODIMENT
Any potentially embodied discipline, such as yoga for example, can be done in three ways:
• As exercise (the mechanical body)
• As a body awareness practice (being aware of a body)
• As a self-awareness and development practice (being aware as a body)
While this book is clearly making a case for embodiment (i.e. being aware as a body), I am also not against simple exercise or mindfulness.
SOME TERMS RELATED TO EMBODIMENT
Somatics
I want to briefly mention the term “somatics”, as it’s probably the most common term used interchangeably with “embodiment”. Somatics is an old Greek word and now is used to refer to the body in its lived social, emotional, political, spiritual wholeness. Often, somatics is associated with bodywork, healing and movement arts, where the emphasis is on internal experience. While it can be used as a synonym for embodiment, it can also refer to a loose grouping of Western awaren
ess practices, such as Feldenkrais and experiential anatomy, within the wider field of embodiment.7 As with embodiment, there is no one agreed definition, but when working through this section of the book, you may get a sense of differences between the two terms. I tend to avoid the term somatics, as I find it’s unfamiliar and a turn-off to many, and the word embodiment more accessible as an already existing, commonly used English word.
Bodymind & bodyfulness
The terms “bodymind” and “mindbody” are also sometimes used synonymously with embodiment, as is “bodyfulness”. “Bodyfulness” seems to have been coined by myself, embodiment teacher Christine Caldwell, and others; independently of one another, at about the same time. Interestingly, the Pali term usually translated into English as “mindfulness” can also be translated as “remembrance” with the association of returning home or “mind-body-heartfulness”. Sadly though, in line with the West’s cognitive bias, the term “mindfulness” has become the norm.8
The difference between body language and embodiment
There are certain postures, ways of moving and patterns of attention, breath and sound that correspond to various emotions, perceptions, cognitions, actions, cultures and relationships. Embodiment is not just about the body expressing these (we could call this body language), but it’s about the body constructing them too. In other words, embodiment is about a bi-directional link where the body both demonstrates and creates our being. This means that we can use postures, movements and patterns deliberately and constructively (as opposed to historically and destructively) to better match our aims and our values. This is embodied training. Simple.
To give an example, I took up aikido to develop a more disciplined and determined embodiment. By sitting, moving, breathing and interacting in a set way, I developed my character – in a way that mere words would not have managed. I consciously practised being different from my habits, to become different. Now, 22 years later, even though I rarely practise aikido now, I look and feel like a martial artist; and have the benefits (and the risks) that this brings, as I have been changed by the practise.
STATE VS. TRAIT, CONSCIOUS VS. UNCONSCIOUS
Embodiment may refer to both a temporary state (e.g. “I’m really in my body now”) and a longer-term trait (e.g. “He embodies kindness”). We are all unconsciously embodied, meaning we have a certain semi-permanent set of habits kept in place by our bodily being, which are our traits (or patterns). However, most of us are not consciously aware of these traits or their development. For example, someone may have an unconscious aggressive embodiment of a chronically tight jaw and belly, contracted eyes, angular movement pattern…but really has no idea, as it will just feel normal to him. We can all lose touch with ourselves (our state), but we are never fully disembodied (traits remain). We can be more or less aware (conscious of our state), and shift this if we have tools; but who we are (trait) is always underpinning this. With practice, over time, we can influence the latter too.
Embodiment can be thought of as the journey to become more consciously embodied, in both state and trait. We develop from an accident to a deliberate self-creation.
EMBODIED INTELLIGENCE
Embodied intelligence is a way of thinking about embodiment as a set of concrete skills. Combining Daniel Goleman’s model of emotional intelligence, my own maxim of “awareness and choice”, and working with both state and trait; we have the model below. On the left of the box we have self, on the right other; on the top awareness, and on the bottom choice/influence. State and pattern show the short and long-term aspects of all of these as the third dimension. This may seem complex now, but each aspect of the diagram will be fleshed-out as the book progresses.
A model of embodied intelligence
THE EDUCATIONAL BODY
– Leeds University, UK.
I’m 20. The classroom is like all the others I have spent the last 17 years in: square, dead and dull. This is the culmination of my Western education, a presentation of a psychology dissertation on another grey rainy day. I’m standing at the front of class for a change and I see my course-mates looking back, the life having been almost entirely squeezed out of their limp disowned bodies. They’re a good enough bunch, they’ve just been taught to be in their heads since they were kids and now, apparently, we’re all done and ready for the world. I jump with sarcastic joy. Not literally of course, I’ve been taught not to do that.
One face looks very different however, my best friend Rachel’s in the front row. She’s beaming, her face as ever framed by her bouncy long dark hair. She holds the happy hopeful part of us. She dances often and smiles more. Her eyes are bright and body full of vigour from all the swing, jazz dance, hugging and loving. I think she likes me in my new suit. Normally I’m scruffy, hungover and barely washed, unless it’s an aikido evening, but today I thought I’d make an effort just to be contrary. It’s partly because I like messing with expectations and partly because I don’t want what I have to say to be ignored because of my appearance. Her smile lights me up and gives me confidence. She’ll be dead from suicide in a few years, but I don’t know that now. The world is not always forgiving of such sweetness.
I grin like a fox that just stole your dinner and begin my presentation on “The psychology of aikido and the meaning it has in practitioners’ lives”. Leeds University has a typical UK academic psychology department and talking about meaning and embodied practices is not normal here. It’s taboo, in fact. People have already started to look confused. By the time I’ve shared some beautiful pictures, a poem, and suggested people pay attention to their posture while listening, the audience are scratching their heads like bemused robot cartoon characters. No, it’s not in there…that’s my point. The people in front of me aren’t aware of their bodies – why would they be, they don’t see them as relevant. As one PhD friend said to me “My body is just a cart that carries my head around.” My own body right now is fizzing and buzzing with glee, as I get just a little closer to my life’s purpose.
I go on to talk about the embodied learning so missing from the education system, and how people find aikido and other embodied practices so enriching as a result. I make a passionate case for how this type of knowing is needed in the world, describing the things that can go wrong when it’s not present. Someone asks to see my statistics. Rachel puts her head in her hands for a moment, shakes her hair and then goes back to smiling at me. I’m giving it all that I’ve got and it’s clearly not landing. Impassive blank gazes stare back at me like cows who have been shown a Kandinsky. It’s not that these people aren’t clever – they’re too clever, in fact – it’s that I’m speaking another language. I’m on about another kind of clever. I feel depressed, there’s a smattering of applause like an emphysema sufferer’s last breath and I go sit down. Rachel gives me a hug, a wet kiss on the cheek and my tense shoulders a little squeeze.
I wonder where I can go now. The job-fair last month was even worse. Just as disembodied and with values I couldn’t relate to. I left in tears after speaking to people who thought they could buy my life for a wage and a pension. I’m heading off backpacking for a bit in South America, then maybe down to Brighton to see what’s going on down there. I hear it’s a little more alive and the aikido’s good. Plenty of yoga, dance and other interesting stuff too. Maybe I’ll work with kids again, I like how vibrant they are, but to be honest the future looks pretty bleak, more cerebral concrete-grey getting by …
“YOUR” BODY?
What do you see the body as? Something generally ignored? Or is it your body (as language would suggest), as if you’re the controller of a puppet? There are plenty of good reasons why we may view the body in these ways, but there’s a price to pay: ill health, lack of emotional intelligence, relationship issues, lack of access to intuition or the quiet voice of whispered values, and just not being fully alive. God, it’s tempting. I don’t want to bloody feel the pain either, but to be cut off from oneself is a slow death.
In any event
, we’re all unconsciously embodied, so that the body is involved in everything we do, regardless. It impacts perception, cognition, mood, relationships and ultimately the life we do or don’t have. We can be half dead from the neck down, but not fully disembodied, in this sense.
We can develop body awareness as a mindfulness skill. Here, we’re aware of the body. The body is still not us, though. It’s outside ourselves, but we are at least in communication with it. The body is useful, at least, and some health and bodily intelligence returns.
And then, we can become consciously embodied. We are aware of ourselves as a body; the how of our being comes into light, and choice enters as a result. This is embodiment: the realisation that we’re not separate from the body we can feel.
It’s a phenomenological and ontological approach to the body, if you like long words. Or it’s being fully alive, if you want to keep it simple.
FROM STATE SHIFTING TO EMBODIED CHANGE
We can change how we are in the moment (state shifting), and how we are long-term (embodied change). It is useful to be working on both of these. Note which of these a practice impacts. State shifting activities may feel good, trait building activities may not.
THE TEN LAWS OF MOVEMENT*
1. Movement is life; the dead don’t move.
2. Movement is not an accident. It both expresses and creates who we are. We are human movings.
3. We think, feel and perceive in the same way we move. These things are impossible without movement and more so, can be changed with movement.
4. How we move is how we connect and communicate with others, and we can change this with movement.
5. Others – dead, alive and yet to be born – live in our movement. Spirit speaks to us through movement.