Groom Wanted

by Debra Ullrick

  “But you could be.” Was that hope on her sister’s face?

  “No, Abbs. We can’t. I’m leaving, remember? And besides, I don’t feel that way about him, and I know he doesn’t feel that way about me.”

  “But he was going to kiss you.”

  “No.” The more she thought about it, the more she talked herself out of it. “I said I thought he was going to kiss me, but I must be wrong. Jake doesn’t think about me like that.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because.” She studied Abby’s eyes a moment. “Look. If I tell you something, you have to promise not to say anything to anyone, okay?”

  “You always ask me that. Do I ever?” Abby questioned her with not only her words, but also her looks.

  “No. No, you don’t. And I appreciate it more than you will ever know.” She smiled at Abby. “A few months back, Jake asked me to marry him.”

  “What?” Abby’s brows darted upward. “You’re kidding? What did you say?”

  “I said no.”

  “No.” Abby’s face scrunched. “Why?”

  “You know why. Besides, he said it would be a marriage of convenience between two friends.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Ouch is right. But that’s okay. It wasn’t right—he and I. And now, with me leaving, I’m just glad I don’t love Jake in that way or it would be too hard to move if I did.”

  “Do you think he loves you, Lee-Lee?”

  Leah frowned. “Why would you ask that? I just told you his proposal was one of convenience, not love.”

  “Yes, well, you also said you thought he wanted to kiss you. And you two do spend a lot of time together.”

  “Yes, we do spend a lot of time together because we enjoy each other’s company.”

  Abby’s eyes brightened.

  “As friends, Abbynormal, as friends. It’s nice having a male friend. They’re more rational and not so emotional. And Jake is easy to talk to. He says the same thing about me. As for him wanting to kiss me, well, perhaps I imagined it. Because as soon as I looked at his mouth, he couldn’t get away from me fast enough. He jumped up and brushed himself off, and I had a hard time keeping up with him on the way to the barn.”

  Was the thought of kissing her that repulsive to him? The idea of him kissing her wasn’t to Leah. How strange was that? She’d never thought about Jake kissing her before. Or what it would be like. Until this very moment. Sweet twinkling stars above. Her eyes widened on the thought. Not good. Not good at all. She swallowed hard and clicked on the lines. “Giddyup, Lambie.”

  Minutes later they rode into the ranch yard. “Uh-oh,” Abby said.

  Leah’s gaze trailed toward the direction Abby was looking. She was so busy thinking about what had happened earlier, she didn’t see her brothers standing in front of the barn with their arms crossed. For Michael to leave Selina’s side, whatever they were up to could not be good. “‘Uh-oh’ is right. Mother must have told them about my plans.”

  Chin up, she guided Lambie toward the front of the barn, but before she could get close, her brothers were next to the phaeton.

  Jesse grabbed the lines near her horse’s bit and stopped her.

  Haydon was the first to get to her. “We need to talk.” He offered Leah a hand down, but it didn’t feel very helpful.

  “Hello to you, too.” One glance at Haydon’s face said he wasn’t amused.

  By that time, Jess and Michael had joined him like a wall in front of her.

  Abby was at Leah’s side in an instant. Two against three was better than one against three at least.

  “What’s this we hear about you placing an ad in the New York Times for a husband?”

  Leah darted a glance at Abby, who looked pale as a dandelion seed. “Mother didn’t waste any time, did she?”

  “Never mind that,” Haydon cut in. “I can’t believe you did something like that without talking it over with us.”

  “What?” Leah bobbed her head forward with a tilt and scrunched her face. “Are you serious? I’m not a child anymore. I’m twenty-four years old and more than capable of making my own decisions.”

  “You might be twenty-four, but you’re still our sister and under our protective care. There’s no way I’m letting my little sister marry a complete stranger. I can’t believe you did this. That you would go behind our backs like this.” Haydon raised his cowboy hat and shoved his fingers through his blond hair. “Why, Leah? Why?” Nothing but concern filled his voice and eyes.

  “Haydon—” Michael laid his hand on their oldest brother’s shoulder “—we’re all upset about this. But, we need to remember, we got wives like this, too.”

  “I don’t care. This is our sister we’re talking about here.”

  “Well, Rainee and Selina were someone’s sister, too,” Michael said as if he had all the calm in the world.

  “Rainee’s brother doesn’t count,” Haydon counteracted with a grunt.

  “True, but Selina’s does. Her brothers loved her as much as we love Leah.”

  Leah’s heart melted at those words. They really did love and care about her.

  Haydon stared at Michael, then looked over at Leah. She saw tender love for her along with confusion. She could tell he was torn, that a battle was going on inside him. Finally, he said, “Leah, would you promise one thing?”

  “What’s that?” Leah pushed away a strand of hair that had breezed across her eyes.

  “If we don’t feel right about this guy, would you take our advice and not marry him?” Up until this moment her brother Jess had been silent. “That’s all we ask, Lee. We’ll all be praying about this to see what God has to say about it. Fair enough?”

  “I did pray about it, and I have peace about my decision.”

  “No offense, Leah, but you women let your emotions rule you,” Haydon said, clearly wishing he could put a stop to it and that be that. “Besides, we’re on the outside looking in. So would you trust us to pray about this and heed whatever God shows us?”

  She glanced up at Haydon. As the oldest this had to be hard on him. He’d been the one to step in, to try to take her father’s place when he’d died. This had to be killing him. A ghost she’d rather not deal with floated just behind his eyes. “Okay.”

  “Wise decision, Lee-Lee,” Abby interjected.

  “Hey, whose side are you on?”

  “Both, of course.” Abby wrinkled her nose at her, then smiled.

  So much for secrets. She turned her attention to other pressing matters. “Oh, while everyone is here, I want to talk to you guys about something. What do you think of Mother and Mr. Barker’s relationship? Did she tell you that she was interested in pursuing a serious relationship with him?”

  Haydon was the first to respond. “She did.”

  “And? What do you think about that?”

  “We—” Haydon pointed at Jess and Michael “—think it’s great.”

  Leah crossed her arms, not terribly happy with the answer. “You do? But what about Father?”

  “What about him?” Jess asked.

  She came uncoiled. “What do you mean ‘what about him’? Am I the only one this bothers?”

  “Leah.” Michael put his arm around her shoulder and tucked her next to his side, a move that made her all the more angry. He glanced down at her. “Look, I know it’s hard for you to think about Mother with anyone but Father. It is for all of us.”

  “It is?” She brightened, no longer feeling alone in her guilt-ridden thoughts.

  “But...”

  Her heart sank back into the abyss it dwelled in where her father was concerned.

  “Father’s gone. And he has been for a long time. We all see how lonely Mother is. We thought her and Mr. Svenson would get together until he decided to go back East. His leaving was hard on her. But now she seems happy again. Mr. Barker is obviously the one who is making her that way. He’s a good Christian man who will take good care of her.”

  Leah looked away, annoyed t
o be the only one who was upset, and feeling guilty at the same time.

  “It’ll be okay, sis. You’ll see.” Jess tried to reassure her, too.

  She couldn’t even nod. Her heart was torn. She knew Michael was right, but that didn’t make it any easier. The only good thing about any of it was that she wouldn’t be there to see her mother with another man. It would hurt too much.

  Michael gave her a squeeze before releasing her. “Now, we need to talk about what to do with this fellow who’s coming. When’s he supposed to get here?”

  They discussed Fitzwilliam and his arrival. Just thinking about his coming in three days stripped away the melancholy that plagued her moments before. She had so much to prepare—herself most of all.

  * * *

  Later that evening, Leah sat in her bed and pulled out her diary and quill.

  Dear Mr. Darcy,

  Today I think Jake wanted to kiss me. A part of me wonders what it would be like. Another part of me is really glad he didn’t. That would change everything. I would be uncomfortable around him if he had. In fact, tomorrow I’m wondering if it will be awkward around him after that incident. I hope not, but I still wonder. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that in three days I’ll be meeting Mr. Barrington. I can hardly wait.

  Leah continued to write about her day and all that had transpired with her brothers. A wide yawn brought moisture to her eyes. She wiped it away, signed off with a Good night, Mr. Darcy, closed the journal and locked it securely inside her nightstand. Another long yawn and she decided it was time to get some sleep. She had a lot to do before Mr. Barrington arrived.

  Snuggling underneath her covers, she nestled her head into the downy pillow and prayed that Mr. Barrington would like her.

  Her eyes drifted shut.

  * * *

  “Father, where are you?” Leah hollered, running through the forest. Pine needles pricked her bare feet, stinging them, but she ignored the pain they inflicted. She had to find her father.

  Deeper into the forest she ran, her shouts now filled with panic.

  The sun settled behind the mountain and darkness shrouded everything.

  Cedar, pine and cottonwood trees pressed in, encapsulating her and looming over her like the monsters they were.

  Right before her eyes, their branches morphed into hands, and their knotholes turned into sinister eyes and mouths.

  Evil now glared down at her.

  Her heart slammed against her ribs with such force that Leah thought they would surely break.

  With slow, menacing movement, the branches descended their arms downward toward her, straining closer and closer.

  Leah ducked until she could duck no further. “Father, help me! I need you!” Her screams sucked all the air from around her. Breathing became difficult.

  Long, spiky fingers dotted with leaves spread wide to take her into their grasp.

  Leah pinched her eyes shut, waiting for the hand to grab her.

  Seconds ticked by and nothing.

  She slowly opened her eyes.

  Her hands flew to the side of her head.

  She screamed into the black void, “No! No!”

  The monstrous tree had captured not her but her father, burying him underneath its mighty trunk. Only his legs, arms and head stuck out from underneath the massive beast.

  Leah stared in horror.

  Blood ran from her father’s face in rivers.

  “Lea—Leah. I—I love you, princess.” Each word came out gurgled, slow, in painful gasps. Suddenly, his eyes rolled toward the back of his head and he went limp.

  “Nooo! I’m sorry, Father! I’m sorry!” she wailed, her heart splintering from her chest.

  * * *

  Leah bolted upright and her gaze darted about the darkened room. Her heart beat so fast it throbbed in her ears as the images pursued her, even in reality. Blinking them back, she struggled to shake herself completely awake. With a toss, she yanked the covers back and swung her feet onto the cool floor.

  The nightmare left her gasping for breath.

  Tears slipped down her cheeks.

  Those horrific dreams always ended the same—with her saying she was sorry. Sorry for what? She had no idea.

  Exhausted, she wanted to lay her head back onto the pillow but couldn’t. The gruesome image of her father might haunt her again.

  Instead, she lit her kerosene lamp, lifted her Bible from the drawer and opened it to where her ribbon lay. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the path of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

  Two more times Leah read Psalm Twenty-Three before closing her Bible. She slipped her peach-colored muslin robe over her nightgown and walked over to her bedroom window. She tied back the curtain and lowered herself into the chair in front of her open window, resting her arm on the windowsill. Staring up at the stars, in the quietness of her mind she sang the song her father had made up. Sweet twinkling stars above; there to remind us of our Heavenly Father’s love. Each one placed by the Savior with care; as a sweet reminder that He will always be there.

  Too weak to battle the tears from coming, they streamed down her cheeks, and she ran a hand over them to wipe them dry. Oh, sweet twinkling stars above. When my children gaze upon you remind them, too, of my love.

  She sniffed back the rest of the tears, but more replaced them.

  Each twinkle is a kiss from me; a hug, a prayer, a sweet memory. Oh, sweet twinkling stars above. Sniffing as the tears continued to fall, she sang it over and over until finally a blanket of peace covered her. She could almost feel her father’s arms around her. It was the one sweet memory from this place that held any sway over all of the bad. She sighed with the hard-fought contentment.

  Insects hissed and clacked their wings.

  Coyotes howled somewhere faraway.

  Leah listened to them, enjoying the peace and quiet.

  How long she sat there, she didn’t know. Only when the grandfather clock downstairs chimed five times did she move from the window. With a heavy sigh, Leah went and washed up, got dressed and headed downstairs. She had a lot to do before Mr. Barrington arrived. Two days. It seemed an eternity.

  Mr. Barrington. Her heart said the name again.

  The man who might very well become her husband. At the word husband, Jake’s face slipped into the front of her mind, and Leah shook the notion from her brain. As much as she enjoyed Jake, he would not be a part of her future. He couldn’t be. She was leaving. And after that nightmare, the sooner she got away from this place, the better.

  Chapter Ten

  For the first time ever, Jake’s insides squirmed like a restless snake at the thought of seeing Leah. He wasn’t sure how things would be between them after he’d almost kissed her. Or if she even knew how, for that one brief second, he’d thought about doing just that. He had a feeling she did because her attention had fallen to his mouth. Truth was, he wouldn’t mind seeing what it would be like to kiss her. To see if her lips were as warm and soft as they looked. What are you doing? Stop it, buddy boy. Best get your mind off of her and get your work done. Thinking like that could get you in trouble, that’s for sure.

  Jake haltered another cow and sat down with his back to the barn door. Streams of milk pinged into the bucket. A few squirts later, he spurt some of the warm, sweet liquid into his mouth. “Ah. Nothing better than fresh milk.” He wiped his mouth and continued milking the Jersey. He had just finished when he heard someone coming into the barn. This early, it either had to be Jess or Haydon.

  The familiar scent of roses reached his
nose.

  Leah.

  His insides writhed with a mixture of excitement and uncertainty.

  “Good morning, Jake.” Leah’s greeting and lighthearted step eased the tension inside him.

  Whew. Leah was acting as if nothing was out of the normal. “Morning, sunshine.” Jake continued milking, keeping his sight trained on Leah as she strolled up to him. To get a better view of her, he thumbed his hat off his forehead and stopped milking. Worry crowded in on him the second he got a good look at her.

  Dark, puffy circles sagged underneath her eyes.

  “You all right?”

  “I’m fine. Why?”

  “You look tuckered out.” He moved the bucket behind him and stood.

  “Oh, that.” She smiled, but it was forced and drowsy. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

  “How come?”

  “I had a lot on my mind.” Her hands slid into the pockets of her light blue skirt and she fiddled with something inside them.

  “Getting ready for that Barrington fellow, huh?”

  “Yes. I have a lot to do to get ready for his arrival. But Mother asked if I would take care of the milk this morning because Veronique can’t. With Mr. Barrington and his sister coming, Mother wants Veronique to make sure our house is sparkling clean.” She looked around and stopped when she spotted the two covered pails he’d just finished. “Have you taken any milk to my brothers’ houses yet?”

  “Nope. Not yet.”

  “Would you mind if I go ahead and take those?” She pointed to them.

  “Nope. Don’t mind at all, but what’s your rush?” He suspected he knew, and both reasons ate at him.

  “I want to hurry and get done so that Mother, Abby and I can head into town to buy some more material. I want to look my best when I meet Mr. Barrington.”

  He tipped his hat again and gazed the length of her. “You always look nice, Leah.”

  “Ah, that is sweet of you to say. Thank you, Jake.” Those dimples appeared again when her lips curled. It was a friendly smile and cuter than a six-week-old kitten.