"This is our final dance of the night, my love." He whispered as he pulled her to him. Elise floated gracefully in time to the music.
"What happened?" She asked softly.
"What do you mean?" Gilles was starting to feel anxious. He was already undressing her in his mind and was beginning to plan their exit.
"Something happened on the floor before Lucien made his speech. The family, they were all worried. I could feel it." He could feel Elise listening, feeling him with all of her senses.
"I lost track of you and got worried." He tried to sound as if it hadn't been serious. "Don't think on it. Enjoy our last dance." He felt her stiffen in his arms.
"If you tell me one more time not to worry or think on it, I will scream, Gilles. I passed worried days ago and you shutting me out is starting to hurt." Her voice was low and forceful. Gilles sighed.
"You've done it all, Elise. Everything you were scared of, everything you said you couldn't ever do, you did it. I'm so proud of you and I'm afraid I'm going to ruin all of it because I'm so damned terrified." Gilles' voice was a strained whisper.
"Why?" She gasped.
"Because I'm scared I'll lose you. Something happened when we found out you were pregnant. I feel so bloody helpless when you're sick, there's nothing I can do. Then, I started having these attacks of panic and pain where all I can think about is how I can't protect you and if I lose you, I'll die." He was trembling just thinking about it.
"Gilles!" She said his name so softly and leaned in closer. Gilles was beyond caring, he pulled her against him and pressed her cheek to his chest as they went through a turn.
"That person, the one I failed, that died... When I see it now, it's you that dies and I feel sick." He swallowed as emotions clogged his throat. Elise pulled back and shook her head.
"No! You saved me, Gilles!" She demanded.
"What?" He looked down at her.
"When that man had me, you saved me."
"Of course, I had to." He didn't feel as if her argument was helping. "I was so close to losing you. It's because of him that I'm worried about so much more than you giving birth."
"You don't understand! When he was dragging me through the forest, I was so scared..." Gilles cut her off.
"Stop! I can't bear it!" He whispered harshly. Elise shook her head.
"But I kept catching my dress on anything I could, hoping it would leave pieces so you could find me. Because I knew you'd come. And even when I didn't want you to, I was terrified because I knew you would. And then you did and you saved me. I know that you will always save me, Gilles. You won't let anyone take me from you." Elise pressed close again as they went through another turn.
It was as if everyone else was suddenly gone and sunlight filled the room. Gilles blinked back tears as he felt something heavy fall away from his soul.
"I will always save you." He whispered, as much to himself as to her. "I won't let anyone take you from me." Gilles pulled Elise to a stop. He took her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly. Someone bumped into his back and several throats cleared. He looked up and found an amused audience. Elise blinked rapidly as a blush began to rise up her neck. "We need to go now." Gilles said as he looked around.
"Gilles, I think you're making a scene!" Elise hissed.
"I'm a man desperately in love with his wife, it will be excused." He laughed as he guided her through the crowd towards the nearest door. He pulled Elise into a servants' corridor. Gilles quickly towed her down the hall until they came to another set of doors. He threw them open and they ran into the dining room.
Within a few minutes he had them on the steps in front of Clerendon House waiting for the Cambroke Carriage. After a few minutes it pulled up and a footman opened the door.
"It may take us a while to find our way out, my lord." The driver yelled as Gilles helped Elise inside.
"No rush!" He called back as he shut the door. Once he was seated, he rapped on the roof and the carriage lurched forward. Gilles pulled Elise into his lap and took her mouth. He kissed her hungrily, his tongue tangling wildly with hers. She pressed back, desperate. His hands were everywhere, he needed to feel all of her. His body needed to confirm that she was alive and his, it needed to express it's desire for her in the most primal way. Gilles slid the skirts of her gown up and set his fingers to her. Elise was ready, the scorching wetness of her clung to his fingers and made his already aching cock harder. She pushed his hands away and reached for the falls of his trousers. This time, she sent buttons flying in her haste. Gilles' chuckle was cut short when she pulled his erection free and stroked it. He clenched his jaw as he felt her rubbing the head of his cock against her entrance. He hissed at the feel of her juices coating him. Elise let go, grabbed his shoulders and slid down. Gilles grabbed her face an devoured her lips as she began riding him. He rolled his hips to meet her and she moaned into him. He grabbed her hips and moved her harder and faster upon him. Within minutes they were rushing towards the peak, they were so wild and urgent.
Gilles cupped her breast through the fabric of Elise's gown and squeezed. She pressed against him as she bucked and writhed in his lap. He knew she was so close and that he wasn't far behind. He found her nipple and rolled it between his fingers and she sobbed as her body began to quiver. Elise rocked forward and froze against him, his name rushed from her lips. Gilles kissed her throat as she shattered and closed his eyes as he felt her close tightly around his cock and begin to milk his release from him. He bit his lip to keep from shouting as he spilled deep within her.
The carriage rocked to a halt and he looked up. Gilles grabbed the door handle just before a footman tried to pull it open. He held tight as another attempt was made to open it.
"My lord?" Came a concerned voice from the other side. Elise jerked and gasped. She carefully slid off on him and on to the seat opposite him.
"A moment, please." Gilles responded calmly. He couldn't help but smile. There was no way they could disguise what they had been doing. "There's nothing for it love, we're a spectacle." Elise groaned as she pushed her skirts down. He settled himself back in his trousers and pulled them closed as well as he could. "Come along." He said as he swung the door open.
They certainly were a spectacle, Gille thought as he took in the footmen's barely contained grins. Bennings was less successful.
"I take it the ball went well, my lord?"
Gilles looked in the hall mirror and barked with laughter. Aside from Elise's destroyed hair, swollen lips and the numerous red marks on her neck and cleavage, she was otherwise unscathed though a bit wobbly on her feet. Gilles on the other hand, was a shambles. Matheson would have fainted. His hair was wild and his lips were red. His cravat hung loose and lopsided. His coat was open and his waist jacket was unbuttoned. Gilles' shirt was half untucked and the fall of his breeches hung open. If it hadn't been for the other half of his shirt, he would have been exposed.
"It was quite satisfying, Bennings." Gilles said as he clapped the man on the back.
Chapter 52
Lucien found Mirabelle by the refreshment tables talking to Lord Westebrooke. He frowned. Westebrooke was staring at her like a puppy dog. He could think of nothing objectionable about the man but he didn't like it. As he approached, Westebrooke bowed and Mirabelle turned. Her expression went from surprised to guarded like the turning of a coin. She curtsied.
"Your Grace, are you in need of a drink? I would think you'd find something more to your taste in one of the other rooms." She was right but he wasn't looking for a drink, yet. She was also dismissing him. Not this time, Lucien thought.
"Miss Mirabelle, I believe a waltz is next and I was hoping you would do me the honor." Lucien knew she wanted to decline but it would cause a minor uproar. His smile began to feel tight as she kept him waiting. He'd been seeking her all night, every time he thought he had her in his sights, she vanished. Lucien knew Mirabelle had been avoiding him since their time in the playhouse. He was tired of it.
"Very
well, Your Grace." Mirabelle's voice was sweet and calm but he could see the irritation in her eyes.
She allowed him to lead her towards the dance floor, a serene expression plastered to her face. On Mirabelle, it was a tragedy. They bowed and Lucien took her into his arms. He hesitated and she looked up at him. He shook his head and began moving them through the steps. What was that? Lucien wondered. When he put his hand to her waist and took her hand something within him... sighed. Almost in relief. He felt calm again, as he had when he hugged her at Longwood. He must have truly missed being around her these past few weeks.
"You've been avoiding me, Mirabelle." Lucien leaned closer as he whispered. He'd been looking across the room as he said it but he was almost certain she shivered. He looked at her and her eyes were shut. "Are you alright?"
Mirabelle opened her eyes and looked away. She sighed.
"You would pick the longest waltz ever written to annoy me." She mumbled. Lucien frowned.
"Are you ready to tell me what all of this is about? If I did something, please tell me. I can't take any more of this, Mirabelle." Lucien pleaded. Until he said the words, he hadn't realized how much he meant them. Mirabelle looked at him and smiled weakly. Her eyes looked so tortured. What the hell was happening? "Talk to me." She shook her head and looked away. It felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. Lucien was tempted to drag Mirabelle someplace where they could talk without hundreds of eyes scrutinizing their every move.
"Lucien?" Mirabelle whispered, he hung on the next word. Why wouldn't she look at him? "Do you think I'm..." She shook her head and cursed under her breath. "Never mind."
Lucien could feel that she was trembling. It was so unlike her to be nervous and unsure of herself. He had no idea if it would help or make things worse but Lucien decided he'd say something anyways.
"As I don't know what you were about to say, I'll just tell you what I think of you." Her eyes swung to his, why did she look afraid? "You are the smartest, bravest, most loyal, funniest, most sensitive woman I have ever met." He took a breath and her lip trembled, he knew he hadn't said the right thing. Yet. He let his eyes travel down her body. Mirabelle had chosen a simple yet elegant gown, probably to keep the attention on Elise. Still, it in no way diminished her. Because of her coloring and age, Mirabelle could wear bolder colors and styles. The berry red silk of her gown complimented her mahogany hair and made her skin glow, he was tempted to brush his fingertips against her shoulder to see if it was as soft as it looked. She had perfect breasts, Lucien noticed. Full and lush, they rose and fell rapidly under his gaze. He shook his head and looked into her eyes. They were the most amazing shade of green, he could stare at them for hours. She licked her lips and he was transfixed by them. They were full and the perfect shade of pink. Lucien looked up as he pulled Mirabelle through a turn. When he looked at the woman in his arms again, he was struck by how pleasingly built she was. Her height was just right, she wasn't overly tall but he wouldn't have to bend down to kiss her. The bodice of her dress emphasized her tiny waist and the skirts hugged delicately flared hips. Lucien recalled the last time he'd seen Mirabelle at Winthorpe, the last time she rode a horse. Because she insisted on only riding when she could wear breeches, she only did so there. In his mind, Lucien saw rounded hips, slim thighs and a firm, round backside. He suddenly felt warm. Mirabelle was pleasingly built, indeed. "As I was saying... Elise is a beautiful woman and she looked stunning tonight." Mirabelle's face fell and she tried to pull away. Lucien pretended not to notice. "But in my mind, you are the most beautiful woman I've seen this evening." Her eyes swung to his, they were wide and searched for any sign of teasing. Was that it then? Did she question her appeal to men? Lucien supposed it made sense. She was six and twenty, most women would be considered on the shelf by that age. He remembered Mirabelle's comment about not having children. Hadn't she turned down proposals?
"You needn't exaggerate, Lucien." She said softly.
"I'm not, at all. You are truly lovely, Mirabelle. Personally, If I were looking, I'd be drawn to you. Elise is lovely but she's a bit small and far too tranquil. I prefer my women a little taller and a bit wild." Again, Lucien was struck by how true his words were. Mirabelle smiled and he felt it in his chest. He'd finally said something right.
"Then it is a shame you are not looking." Her voice had turned sultry and she stared deep into his eyes. Lucien didn't know how to respond. He began blinking rapidly as he tried to dismiss the idea that Mirabelle flirted with him. The waltz ended and they stopped moving. Lucien prodded his brain to think of something to say. Mirabelle smiled and dropped to a low curtsy, giving Lucien a generous view of her marvelous cleavage. She looked up at him and smiled knowingly as she rose. "Thank you for the dance, Lucien." she said softly as she walked past him. He turned and found himself mesmerized by the swing of her hips.
Lucien almost followed after her. He shook his head and turned to leave the ballroom. He needed that drink. And maybe another after that.
Chapter 53
Elise smiled as she ran her fingers through Gilles' hair as his head rested on her chest. After he'd shocked the footmen and Bennings, he had rushed her up to their bedroom and dismissed Anna and Matheson. Gilles had carefully removed Elise's clothing and she helped him out of his. He'd carried her to the bed and made love to her slowly and tenderly. She was thoroughly sated and exhausted. Elise sensed that Gilles had finally relaxed for the first time in weeks.
"Do you think you'll have any more panics?" She asked as she traced a scar on his shoulder with her fingertip. He pressed a kiss to her skin and rolled over.
"No. You made me realize that I was able to protect you before and that I can do it again. I still worry about you having to give birth but I think that that's something any man in my position deals with. It's just not as suffocating now that I know I can protect you from everything else."
Elise sat up. She found his hand and brought it to her lips and kissed his palm before she pressed it to her cheek.
"And what of the other... Do you still feel like you failed?" She asked carefully. Elise was relieved that he'd let go of one demon that was haunting him, she didn't want to upset him by dwelling on another.
"I did fail, darling." Gilles whispered. Elise shook her head.
"I don't believe that. Tell me how, as much as you can."
Gilles sighed and sat up, his arm rested alongside hers.
"We were supposed to go someplace. I got called away and said that we would go again another time. It was a tough decision because we knew we might not have another chance but I had to go. This person went anyways. When I came back and realized what had happened I tried to catch up but I was too late. Everything went wrong and all I could do was watch, I was too far away to help." Gilles voice was barely a whisper at the end. Elise's heart hurt for him.
"I don't understand. You said you had to go."
"I did. I couldn't ignore the summons I received. There was just no way." His fingers tangled with hers.
"And this person wasn't supposed to go?"
She heard Gilles swallow and felt him shake his head. He couldn't answer.
"But they went anyways?"
"Yes." He rasped.
"Then you did everything you could to get there in time?" Elise felt hope bloom in her chest.
"I tried but I didn't make it." His voice sounded so far away. She turned towards him and found his face. She took it in her hands and pressed her forehead to his.
"You didn't fail! I knew it!" She whispered urgently
"This person is dead, Elise." His voice cracked.
"And I'm so, so sorry, my love. But it's not your fault! You couldn't be in two places at once. You had to go. You couldn't have been there in time. There was no way! This person chose to go without you, if they had stayed, it wouldn't have happened. All they had to do was not go. There was nothing you could have done. You didn't fail, Gilles!" Elise rose on her knees and wrapped her arms around him. She felt his arms lock about her and she f
elt tears against her neck.
"All they had to do was not go..." He said it a few times am then he sobbed. "Thank you!" Gilles repeated it over and over again against her skin for several minutes. When he lifted his head he took her lips and kissed her so deeply and tenderly that Elise trembled. Gilles pulled back and took a deep breath. "You've saved me, Elise." He whispered reverently.
Elise felt Gilles lowering her on to her back. He hovered over her.
"You've saved me. Before I found you, I was so empty and sad. I didn't think I'd ever be able to let it go. But you gave me something new to live for and then you healed me. I don't know if I will ever deserve you but I'm so grateful that you're mine." Gilles pressed his lips to her briefly and then began raining kisses on Elise's face.
"And you're mine. Remember?" She giggled as he kissed her eyelids.
"Always. I'm most grateful for that."
Elise gasped and grabbed hold of the sheets as Gilles started to demonstrate just how grateful he was.
Epilogue
Eight months later
It had been the longest day of Gilles' life but he knew that it paled in comparison to Elise's experience. He looked over at her. She was sleeping soundly. She'd been physically and emotionally drained once it was finally over. Gilles was as well but he was so overwhelmed as he looked down at his sleeping son, swaddled and cradled in his arms that he couldn't imagine shutting his eyes.
Saved By A Siren: Spencers in Love Book One Page 30