by Rita Hestand
"We want you to pick it up in Greenville and carry it north almost to the Illinois line and there Major George will receive it."
"I see, when?"
"Tomorrow you will pick it up.."
Wade stared, "All right, sir."
"A small garrison will accompany it also. That will distract from the loading of it."
"Yes sir. May I ask if you intend to use my boat on a regular basis?"
"You may, and we will!"
Wade nodded. "And will I have advance notice from now on?"
"No sir, you won't! You aren't privileged. You are not a Confederate soldier sir. So I take exception." The Colonel walked off. "We'll talk again. Just remember you've got a pretty little wife, and we certainly wouldn't want anything to happen to her, would we?"
"Is that a threat!" Wade turned to stare at the man his anger festering.
He'd counted on the north threatening him, but when the south did, it cut deep. It made him question where his loyalty did lie.
"You can count on it, sir, these are trying times and we never know who the enemy might be. The very fact that you haven't joined us makes us quite suspicious of your loyalty."
"Even when I transport your men and cargo?" He bellowed.
"Even then, this is war sir, and you cannot sit on the sidelines and survive." The Colonel smirked.
That evening Wade was restless, unable to sit still but a few minutes at a time. He could not believe the audacity of the Colonel. And the worst part was he questioned himself now.
The war had barely started and already his own countrymen suspicioned him. The north had not threatened and General Martin had met his lovely wife.
Wade fretted the rest of the day.
"Something wrong, Wade?" His mother asked as she joined him downstairs in the gambling hall.
"No, everything is fine." But Wade's frown didn't go away.
Mrs. Cahill nodded to Beth and Beth stared at her husband. "Maybe we should retire early, you need some rest, darling." Beth said looping her arm in his.
"No, actually, I want to do a little gambling." He winked at her and took at seat at a table. Perhaps a good game would sooth him.
She stood over him for a while, but uninterested in the game itself, she retired to Mother Cahill's side.
"Something is bothering him. I just don't know what it is."
"I guess he won't tell us until he's ready. But I saw it too dear. There is something bothering him."
Later that evening he came to his suite.
In the room, Beth pulled his jacket off and his hat. "Now, want to tell me what is wrong?"
"No…."
"Wade, I'm your wife. I am here to help you through all of this. You can trust me, no matter what it is. I'm not on the south or the north, I'm on your side."
He glanced at her and took her into his arms. His kiss was strong, bold, and spoke of frustrations she could only imagine.
When he came up for air, he stared into her startled face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so rough."
"I welcome your kisses Wade, any time or way, and I'd welcome more if you'd let me…" She opened her arms up to him.
He crushed her to him. "God I love you!"
She pulled away to stare at him. "And I love you…. I think I have all along." She said simply. "Wade…make love to me…" She cried. "Don't make me beg."
"I can't. Especially now…" He cried, pacing the room like a caged tiger.
"Has something happened?" Her brows knitted as she stared at her troubled husband.
"Yes, the south is now my enemy too. They've actually made a threat. They didn't notify me ahead of time for a shipment they want delivered. I'm being treated like a traitor to tell the truth. I'm wondering now exactly where my allegiance lies." He cried out.
"What do you mean?" She ran to him and hugged him.
He pulled her to the edge of the bed and sat her down. "Now they are threatening to hurt you too."
"Me?"
"You and mother!"
"I'm thinking seriously of sending you to your folks." He said. "At least there you should be safe."
"Wade! I don't want to leave you like this. A wife stands beside her husband; she doesn't run at the first sign of trouble."
"God knows I don't either. But I don't want to worry that they might harm you either. Could you and mother go there and stay a while?"
"Well…yes, I suppose. But….my place is with you!"
"In ordinary times, you are right. But these are not ordinary times. It would be too easy for either side to hurt you. And they will continually use that as a threat. I couldn't bare that…"
"And I can't bear to leave you, here alone!" She cried out. "What you are attempting to do is crazy. You can't work for both of them. If you must work for one, then chose one, but don't go back and forth it will make you mad! I don't care which side you chose, as long as it helps to keep you safe."
"I'm sorry, my love, but you must leave." He encouraged. "Besides, how would you feel if I said I was thinking of really spying for the north?"
She stared at him her face white, "I don't know. I'm a southerner. But then, I love you and I would stand behind any decision you made. You can't stand divided. I want you to do whatever it is you have to."
"Thank you for that…I'm not going to let anyone threaten you like that. And it was uncalled for and abusive. I was enraged when he said it. I still am. They want to use me and this boat, and they threaten my family. I won't stand for this. The war has only started and already I am at great risk."
"Oh darling, I wish I could help you make the decision, but I can't. But no matter…I still love you Wade."
"Will you go home until I send for you?"
"On one condition." She said flatly.
"What condition?" He looked at her strangely.
"Make love to me…" She said softly. "Now…tonight."
"Beth…"
"I won't go without part of you, even a small part of you inside of me…I love you Wade! You've awaken the woman in me, and I want to be that woman. I want you…"
"But darling…" He almost shouted. "Think of the consequences."
"That's exactly what I'm thinking about." She stomped her foot deliberately. "I know that you are afraid I might get pregnant and something could happen to you, but think of the consequences of me losing you, and not having a part of you to love…"
He looked at her stubborn chin. "You're a stubborn woman Beth Sawyer." He nodded,
"I'm not Beth Sawyer, I'm Beth Cahill. And if we'd have made love, you'd remember it!"
He looked at her and reached to pull his hair, "You think I don't know who you are and what you are, and that you are so much a part of me now. God knows how I want you."
"Then why refuse what we both want!" She protested.
He looked at her and a slow burning smile ripped across his face. "God I love you. And for wanting our child even more…"
She dropped her arms and stood regally in front of him, casting him a seductive glance, "Make love to me Wade, I love you more than anything."
He stared as she began stripping her clothes from her body. She sat on the edge of the bed and started to take garter off, but he bent on his knee and pulled it off himself, his hands going over her leg gently, slowly, his eyes on her legs. He helped her with her corset as he loosened the strings that held it. She shimmied out of it, and he gasped. She slipped out of her drawers and stood naked in front of him.
"I'm yours!" She said with a captivating smile.
He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.
Laying her down, he fumbled with his own clothes. "I don't know why I fought this so long. It's all I've thought about since we married…"
"I know…so have I…." She whispered, pulling him down on the bed beside her as he took his pants off.
Seeing him naked she swooned. "I've never seen a naked man before…but I must say, you are an eye full."
"And you are the most ravishing woman I
've ever met."
He hoped into bed, pulled the covers over them and began a journey of exploration.
She cooed and awed and snuggled against him. He touched her cheek, "When you put that gown on, that I bought you, I wanted to rip it off of you…" He confessed.
"I'll go away, but I want tonight to be our night. And I want many nights like this, together. I want to be your wife in every way, Wade. And when this war beats you down and you think you can't bear it any longer, seek me out, for I will give you comfort." She whispered.
His lips devoured her, slowly he made a pathway from the lovely tips of her breasts to the center of her womanhood. She moaned aloud when he spread her legs, and his kisses had her squirming and reaching for him. His lips touched the center of her woman hood and she nearly came off the bed, as his tongue laved her there. His hands splayed across her breast, his thumb flicking at her pert nipples. Slowly he worked his way up to her belly button, the to the fullness of each breast as he tugged, pulled and nipped at her. But when she moaned this time he moved inside her and she lifted her hips to join him, as he sank himself inside her warm nest. He watched her meet him eagerly and the climaxed together like hot and cold coming together. Sparks flew, the world erupted and heaven and earth seemed to move.
Afterward they lay in each other's arms. "Did I hurt you?"
"I don't know, I was too busy to notice," she sighed as her lips found his pert nipple and she sucked gently against him.
Later he buried his nose in her cleavage and kissed her there all over.
"You have beautiful breasts sweetheart." He murmured at her ear when he came up for air.
"I never ever imagined it to be this wonderful!" She sighed in his arms, as her hand played at his stomach.
They made love several times that night. And the next morning she awoke with the most satisfied grin on her face.
And all the tension inside of him fled when he planted his seed of life in her with a prayer. "If I leave you nothing in this world. I want to leave you my child…"
"Yes…" She breathed a smile against his hot skin as they caressed each other. He took her virginity, he took her love, and he gave her the seed of life. Several times into the night, in fact.
The next morning, early, she marveled at their coming together. It had been heavenly. He had stirred her to a passion, his kisses overwhelming her with love and promises. He had taken her to heights she never knew existed. She swooned at the memoires he had created. She could leave now, knowing that she had pleased him beyond measure. Knowing that they might have created a life between them. Knowing that they were one at last.
Contentment washed over her now as she lay wrapped in the warmth of their coming together.
He returned with coffee and a big smile.
"So are you feeling loved this morning?" He asked as he handed her the cup of hot brew.
"I feel like a feline cat, that has supped upon her milk all night and has a full tummy. I never knew it could be so wonderful…." She smiled differently today. "I've been told there are wives you grin and bear it, but do not seek it. I wonder why."
He saw the woman in her now, not the child and he realized she had become his wife last night at last "I love you more than my own life. But sweetheart, not all married couples make love. Some want the lust of the moment, but there is no true feelings of love. That was what I wanted between us. Love!"
"You've made me the happiest woman in the world. And I have to say, you are a magnificent lover…"
He snickered. "You have no one to compare it to, do you?"
"No, but I don't need to. I know how wonderful I feel. I know how much I enjoyed it. I look forward to it often as I can."
Now he was laughing.
"I don't regret it as much as I thought I would. Last night, I needed you, and you were there. I don't think I've ever needed anyone before."
"I'm glad you need me. So how can you possibly send me away?"
"Just knowing you'll be safe means the world to me."
"I'll miss you terribly."
"As will I?"
"When can I come home?"
"I don't know yet. I'll send word to you."
She smiled and kissed him wildly. "I hate this war…"
"Will your folks mind that I’m sending you there with mother?"
"Not at all, they'd love to have her. However, I hate to ask it of you, but my folks are rather poor. Could we afford to give them some money for food…"
"Of course, I don't know why I hadn't thought of that sooner, except this stupid war has me in such knots. Give them this…" He produced a wad of bills.
Beth nearly gasped at the wad of money.
"Gambling money, my love…"
"Dear God, you are really a winner, aren't you?"
He laughed aloud.
"Mother Cahill will love it there. There are so many kids and everyone sits at the same table and talks, and she'll enjoy it. My folks too."
"At least I won't have to worry about you there."
"When will we leave?"
"I've got to make a run up the country, but as soon as that is over, we'll come back and you and mother can leave on the Louisiana side."
She nodded. "Now that I know what I've been missing, I will miss you all the more, my love."
"Hopefully, it won't be too long…"
Chapter Sixteen
The day the cannon arrived was the day Beth and his mother were leaving. Wade had been so busy he barely got a chance to tell them goodbye.
Beth felt alive once more, able to handle any situation. She knew now that this war was going to take more effort than anyone had imagined. Tension was like a tightrope everywhere.
She wanted Mother Cahill safe with her folks.
Wade came up to them, and kissed his mother on the cheek, "Mother you'll be safe in Texas. The fighting there is not as heavy as it is here."
"I know son. I thank Beth for letting me stay with her folks too."
He looked at Beth, gathering her to him, he kissed her boldly in front of his mother. "Have a safe journey my love. Get word to me if you need me. If you decide to stay, it would be a good idea."
"We'll be fine. Please take care…" Beth cried, a tear slipping down her cheek at leaving him. "Send for me as soon as you can. Promise me."
"As soon as it's safe. Don't you fret about me. I'll be fine, and even more so knowing the two of you are safe."
She reached to kiss him once more. "I love you!"
He kissed her long and hard, "I love you too darling, and please don't worry so much."
She nodded.
But he would worry until he saw her again, he knew that.
~*~
Their journey was long and tedious. They traveled over land and camped out. Wade had sent a black man with them to see them to safety. He trusted the man.
John, was a legally freed slave who knew exactly how to guide them through the swamps of Louisiana to the safety of Texas.
"John, do you think this war is gonna be over soon?" Mother Cahill asked him a couple nights into their travel.
John looked at both women. He'd just gathered firewood for the evening and he dusted his hands and looked at them. "No ma'am. I think it's gonna be one of the bloodiest war's this country has ever seen. It will take a lot to end this one, ma'am." John said hanging his head. "You know when I first heard about there being a war to free us, I was excited. I thought how wonderful it would be. But I didn't consider the fact that many would be killed for this either. That it was mainly white folks that would be fighting, for our freedom. It puts a sort of burden on us."
"I so hope you are wrong about it not being over quickly. Surely they'll come their sense and see that it won't accomplish that much." Mother Cahill cried.
"Already brothers fight against brothers, father's against sons. It is a sad war but one that will eventually bring change for many."
"For your people?" Mother Cahill asked.
"Yes, my people. Mr. Lincoln wants t
o free us, and that is a good thing."
"How did you get your freedom, John?" Beth asked as she poured more coffee for all of them.
"Your husband ma'am. I thought you knew. When he saw how they beat me right there on the dock in front of everyone, he came and stopped it. He paid for my freedom. He said no man should be treated like that. He paid two thousand dollars for my freedom on that very day. Right there on the spot, that very day. I never seen anything like that in my life. He was a southerner and did that. In front of all those people. He's awfully brave."
Beth's mouth flew open. "He never said a word."
"He's not the kind of man to talk about his good deeds. But he sure did. And ever since I've worked for him and proud to. He treats me like anyone else and with respect. I can't ask more than that. I earn a fair wage, and even have a wife and family now. That happened about five years ago."
Mother Cahill smiled wanly, "Wade seldom does speak of these kinds of things. He always did have a heart of gold."
"Do you think we'll be bothered in Texas?" Beth asked.
"Well ma'am the war hasn't touched Texas as much as the rest of the states. It could, but I don't look for that until much later and by that time you'll be back on the boat. Texas has a lot of hard headed people. And they are the kind that will fight to the death for their land. No ma'am the problem in Texas is Indians. They seem to be taking all the advantages since a lot of the forts were abandoned when the war broke out."
"We've been fighting Indians all along in Texas." Beth smiled. "I so hope you are wrong about how long this war goes on. Surely they'll come to their sense soon."
"I don't think so ma'am. It's more than just slavery that's involved. We have a whole different kind of life here in the south than they do. I know because when I first came I had been in the north for a year. They speak a different language. They live differently too. But the south is gonna suffer, and I'll tell you why."
Beth and Mother Cahill listened to John, for a black man he was well informed.
"It's all because the south doesn't have any factories, no way of making much of anything but clothes and food. The north is full of machinery and ways to make guns, ammunitions and all the things that a war takes. We don't have that down here. You see, we made a mistake, we didn't learn to do for ourselves. We depended on the north to supply us with the goods they made. And for a while that worked, until people got too greedy. They wanted to make a lot of money off the south. And they did for a while with their taxes and tariffs. But what this whole war boils down to if you ask me is that the two, the north and the south, don't speak the same language. It's English but it ain't the same. They don't understand each other and they don't want to. You see, unfortunately, the south needs us black people to pick their crops. We do it for nothing more than a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. But in reality, if they paid us, there would be little profit for growing it. Time they paid us and the taxes and tariffs, there would be little profit at all."