Something Other than Fear

by Taylor, Kerry

  “Honey, what are you doing?” He asked as he put his hands on my shoulders, sending little electric shocks down my arms. Every one of my senses was heightened, just crying out for him.

  “I know I’m not your type, but kiss me Rob, please……just once.” I whispered heavily, desperately.

  “Lucy, you’ve had a lot to drink.”

  “I’m in control of my faculties Rob. I know what I want…..please, just kiss me?” I said, sounding completely in control. He was staring at me then and I saw a battle taking place internally. He obviously wasn’t keen on the idea of kissing me. I had made a terrible mistake! Oh God, you Idiot! I thought to myself as I started to move away, but he stopped me and then before I realised what was going on, his lips were on mine. His scent intoxicated me, a wonderful masculine scent, sandalwood maybe, that I wanted to bottle and keep forever. His hands moved from my arms to my back and he pulled me tighter to him. As his tongue slipped into my mouth I put my hands on his rock-hard chest and took in the strength he radiated. I was dizzy with joy at the feel of this wonderful, sensual man kissing and touching me. The kiss lasted a minute or so before I had to pull back for air. I was overwhelmed by the magic this one encounter had brought to my being. I needed a second to breathe. I looked up into his eyes and I saw he was studying me.

  “Are you ok?” He asked softly.

  “More than ok.” I whispered as the biggest smile spread across my face.

  “Lucy……I want to tell you something,” Here we go I thought. He was going to make it clear he wasn’t interested. Fair enough, at least I got the kiss first. I nodded for him to go on. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but…..well after that I think I should be clear. I……..well I really like you. Jesus, that sounded so lame! I just….I’m really attracted to you and I’d like to get to know you a lot better when you feel ready. I know right now you probably can’t even think about a relationship, but I’m willing to wait and whenever you’re ready I’ll be here, if you’d be interested that is?” He was talking faster than I’d ever heard and I knew he was nervous. What the hell? He liked me. Little plain me? I couldn’t take it in. This man, who I was falling for and who was about a hundred times hotter than me, liked me, was interested in me? Yes please!

  “If I’m interested Rob? Are you bloody nuts? I’m mad about you. I’ve been trying to hold back because…..well, after everything I said I’d stay away from relationships and men, but I can’t help it with you. I’m so drawn to you.” I confessed.

  “I’m crazy for you too honey, you drive me wild. I’ve been falling for you since the first moment I saw you.” He said with a huge smile.

  “Really?” I gasped.

  “Really sweetheart. What’s not to fall for? You’re beautiful, smart, funny and so strong. When I’m not with you I miss you and when I am I have to fight not to grab you and kiss the hell out of you.”

  “Wow, ok.” I stuttered, shocked as heck that he had those feelings for me. “So where do we go from here?”

  “We can take things slowly Lucy. I would never rush you after what you’ve been through. I’d like to take you out, like us to get to know one another better.”

  “Like a date?” I asked excitedly.

  “Definitely a date!”

  “I’d like that too.” I agreed, unable to hold in the grin on my face.

  “I promise, right here right now though Lucy, I will never ever hurt you, never lay a finger on you in anger. I’m not like Phil and I never will be. I will always cherish and protect you. You can feel safe with me. I hope you know that?” His words were firm and meant so very much to me.

  “I do Rob. I know.” I leant into him again and our lips met again for a moment and that brief kiss was the greatest of my life because I knew it could be the start of something truly wonderful.

  “Come on sweetheart, we better get in before Matt’s calling me again” Rob eventually said.

  “We can’t tell Matt yet!” I said quickly, realising he would freak out if he knew.

  “I won’t keep it from him Lucy. I want to be upfront with him. I know he might be a little pissed at first, but I think he’ll come around.” Rob said firmly.

  “Fine, but don’t tell him tonight Rob, please. Just let me have this magical day without him kicking off.”

  “Ok. I’ll talk to him when he gets home tomorrow. We’ll leave it for tonight, ok?”

  “Thankyou.” I walked into the apartment building as though I were floating on a cloud. I felt so happy, so alive. The last three years were briefly forgotten, and I remembered what it was to feel real happiness.

  When we got into the apartment Matt was on his way out, for which I was grateful because I knew if he spent more than two minutes with me, he would see the happiness on my face and wonder what was going on.

  “I’m gonna stay and watch some movies with Lucy tonight if that’s good with you man?” Rob asked as we passed at the door.

  “Absolutely. Just make sure you get some sleep too Darling.” I nodded and with a quick kiss on my cheek, he was gone.

  Rob and I curled up on the sofa with a glass of wine each and some action film Rob had put on. I wanted to stay awake so I could enjoy the way he held me, his arm tightly around my waist, holding me close, but within ten minutes the wine took effect and I was asleep.

  I didn’t wake again until late the next morning where I found myself laid tight against Rob’s body on the sofa. I didn’t move, I didn’t want to wake him. I just wanted to feel him next to me. It was amazing. I just listened to the steady beat of his heart as he slept and enjoyed the movement of his expansive chest below my cheek. I couldn’t ever remember feeling so very content.

  The moment was unfortunately ruined by a hard knock on the door. It made me jump so much I leapt up and fell off of the sofa with a thud. In a heartbeat Rob was up beside me and on high alert.

  “You ok?” He asked as he lifted me effortlessly from the floor and back onto the sofa. I nodded, still shocked from the knock on the door, and taken aback by the way Rob had gathered me up from the floor so effortlessly. He nodded and then moved over to the door. He looked through the peephole and then back to me.

  “Quick. Get in your room, it’s Jack!” He said in a whisper. I leapt up and hurried to my room to mess up my duvet, so it looked as though I’d been in there, giggling to myself the whole time. I knew if Jack got wind of the fact Rob and I were, sort of, together, he’d blab to Matt before Rob got chance.

  “Is Lucy ready?” I heard Jack ask. I looked at the clock.

  “Shit!” I whispered. I was so late. “Give me five minutes Jack!” I called back and hurried to the bathroom to quickly brush my teeth and hair. I scraped my hair back and tried to neaten up yesterday’s makeup to make do, gross, I know, but I was so late, so it was either that or go barefaced, which was not a good option!

  When I was presentable I ran to my room and stripped off my clothes. I pulled on clean underwear and a pair of jeans and a red cashmere jumper.

  “Hurry up sweet! You’re late.” Jack called again.

  “Coming now.” I replied as I pulled on a pair of ballet pumps and rushed into the lounge.

  “I’m ready!” I cried as I walked in.

  “I have to get to work sweetheart. I’ll call you later, ok?” Rob said as he headed out of the door. I longed to kiss him before he went, but I knew we had to tell Matt before Jack knew so I stopped myself.

  “Ok.” I agreed with a stupid girly grin on my face I couldn’t hold in. Rob grinned back, and then he was gone, and I instantly felt his loss.

  “So, running late after a night with Rob are we?” Jack asked knowingly with a smile on his smug face.

  “And what is that supposed to mean?” I asked innocently.

  “Oh, I think you know sweet.” He laughed.

  “Shut it you!” I ordered with a giggle. It was hopeless, I couldn’t hide anything from that man!

  “My lips are sealed.”

  Jack was sat at the breakfast
bar wearing grey jogging pants and a black tank that moulded to his chiselled abs. His gym bag was on the floor beside him and a green hoodie sat on top of it. He’d styled his hair, something I had never seen him do to go to the gym before and I couldn’t help but smile. He was finally going to work out with Cal that morning. He had been forced to cancel it several times because he’d been called into work, but today he was finally going, and I was so excited because I just knew they were going to hit it off!

  “Not a word sweet.” Jack said when he saw me look him up and down and giggle. “I’m just going to work out”

  “With immaculate hair and a hot outfit?” I joked as I headed into the kitchen to quickly get coffee to go. No way I could function without caffeine.

  “This is what I wear to work out!” He defended. I nodded with a smirk and continued busily getting my coffee.

  ***

  I had never seen Jack look nervous, he was always the epitome of cool, but as we drove to work that morning he was fidgeting and talking incessantly about the weather and the traffic, anything to fill the gaps. I was relieved when we finally parked up outside the gym.

  Cal was waiting at the reception desk as we hurried inside.

  “Morning guys, everything alright?” He asked.

  “Yep. Are you alright Cal?” I asked as I headed to the staff room to dump my coat and bag.

  “I’m good hon, thanks.” He replied with a smile, then he turned to Jack who was slipping off his hoodie and revealing his huge biceps and amazing chest and stomach, which were prominent under his fitted tank. I saw Cal admire the form in front of him and I was glad someone was seeing and appreciating Jack’s beauty for once. He was a stunning, amazing person inside and out, and he deserved someone to love him.

  “So, you ready for the workout of your life?” Cal asked as he forced himself to stop staring and look at Jack’s face.

  “Do your worst man!” Jack invited. I couldn’t hold in my smile as I went into the staff room and listened to them chatting away happily.

  I watched them that morning, as Cal gave Jack a challenge on every piece of equipment. Jack smashed each challenge and then some, which only seemed to endear Cal further. They chatted and laughed happily, flirtily and I was sure it was going well. It was clear to see they had instantly hit it off. They seemed pretty evenly matched in every way too. When they started on the weights Cal spotted Jack as he crunched ridiculous weights. I knew Jack was fit, you only had to look at him to know that and I had seen him work out for hours on end at his place but watching him with Cal I was shocked by how far he could push himself.

  After a couple of hours Cal came over to grab some water from the fridge which was beside where I sat.

  “Damn that man has stamina!” He exclaimed as he walked past me.

  “He’s fit isn’t he?” I agreed.

  “I’ll say” He grinned at me and then headed back to Jack who was perched on the edge of the boxing ring, taking a breather and rubbing his head. I knew what that meant now, and I wondered if he had pushed a little too hard. He stopped and smiled again as Cal approached. I hoped to god they were setting up a proper date. They had to take this further, surely. They just fit together so well; it was clear to see.

  “Hey sexy.” Nick, the gym member who had become a pain in my arse said as he walked in and handed me his card.

  “Good morning.” I greeted, smiling through my annoyance at having to deal with the egotistical maniac.

  “You’re looking fine today, rocking that morning after look!”

  “Morning after what, you cheeky sod?” I snapped as I looked down at my clothes. There was nothing wrong with what I was wearing. Yeah ok, I had on yesterday’s makeup, but he didn’t know that!

  “No, I meant no offence gorgeous. You look sexy as sin. I want you in that locker room right this second, so I can rip off those clothes and make you scream my name over and over.” He hissed as he leant right into my face. He had an expression on his face that I’m sure he thought was alluring, but instead me want to hurl. I saw traits of Phil in Nick and because of that, I had been sure to always quash his flirtations. He was a creep and I was far from interested.

  “Um, tempting as that sounds. I don’t think my brother would appreciate it while he’s in the building.” I said as I saw Jack watching our exchange.

  “Brother?” Nick asked.

  “He’s right over there with Cal. Hold on a second and I’ll see what he thinks about your proposition,” I said with a smile as I hailed Jack over. This was going to be fun!

  Jack stood and headed towards me as Nick stared at him nervously. He was a big guy, built and tall, but nowhere near the size and strength of Jack and I could see he was worried.

  “You alright sweet?” Jack asked as he approached the desk.

  “Jack, this is Nick. He was just offering to…..”

  “Joke, it was just a joke!” Nick yelped as he snatched his card from the desk. “I gotta go get started Lucy. Nice to meet you Jack” He called as he ran for the locker room.

  “Was he bothering you?” Jack asked with a smirk.

  “Yeah, but I don’t think he will again. You scared the shit out of him!” I laughed. That was definitely fun!

  “Just let me know if he bothers you again.” Jack said as he turned back towards Cal.

  “I will, but he won’t Jack”

  “Good” Jack agreed then he went to walk away, but I stopped him.

  “Wait! Jack please tell me you have sorted a date with that man?” I whispered.

  “I’m working on it sweet.” He winked and then walked away from the desk back over to Cal.

  I watched them flirt and laugh with each other for another hour before Jack went to hit the showers and get changed.

  “Well?” I asked Cal when he approached me.

  “Well what hon?”

  “Are you going to see each other again?” I asked with frustration.

  “Well I just sold him a six-month membership, so I guess he’ll be back.” Cal teased.

  “You know that’s not what I meant?”

  “I know, but I’m not telling. You’ll have to ask Jack.” He said with a smirk.

  I was practically jumping up and down in anticipation as I waited for Jack to come out of the locker room and fill me in. When he did finally emerge in dark jeans, brown leather boots, a crisp white shirt and his leather jacket he looked great and I had to take a minute to appreciate him. I smiled when I turned and saw Cal doing the same.

  “So?” I said excitedly as I ran up to him.

  “We’re going for dinner tonight, ok? Stop looking so excited. You’re ruining my cool guy image.” He said jokingly, making me smile.

  “That’s so great Jack!” I whispered as I threw myself into his chest and held him tightly. Things were looking up all of a sudden, for all of us and I was so excited!

  ***

  Matt ended up working a double shift that day and so Rob didn’t get chance to tell him about us as he had wanted to. I knew he was annoyed we were keeping things from Matt when he arrived at the apartment that evening. We had arranged to have a takeaway and spend the evening together, which we were both looking forward to, but I knew Rob was uncomfortable about us spending time together having not been upfront with Matt about the fact we were actually dating.

  We ate in front of the TV, watching reruns of my favourite TV programme, The Sopranos. Rob chatted away to me and asked me about my day. I told him about Jack and Cal, and he seemed as pleased as I was that Jack might have found a little happiness.

  After we had eaten I cleared away the cartons and made us both some coffee, then we curled up on the sofa together and got settled. It didn’t take long before I’d dozed off, completely comfortable there with Rob, curled tightly against his firm body.

  I’d been asleep a few hours before the sound of Rob’s mobile phone woke me up. I jumped awake and found myself tightly wrapped in his arms, the only place I wanted to be.

  “Sorry bab
y. It’ll be the office.” Rob said as he let go and reached across me for his phone from the coffee table.

  “Shepard,” He barked as he answered. I sat up and straightened up my crumpled clothes. It was after midnight and I’d been asleep for hours.

  “How the fuck did that happen?” Rob almost shouted. “Just stay there. I’m on my way!” He hung up very abruptly and turned to me.

  “Sorry. I gotta go take care of something.” He apologised.

  “It’s ok. Is everything ok?”

  “One of my guys messed up. It’s nothing I can’t fix. I won’t be long. Like an hour tops and I’ll come straight back. You get some sleep while I’m gone, ok?” He was at the door now, pulling his boots and coat on in a hurry.

  “I will.” I followed him out of the apartment and closed the door behind me. He looked at me with confusion. “I’ll come down to the lobby with you. I’m not ready to let you go yet. Not until I have to.”

  “Ok Baby,” He agreed with a smile and we hurried to the lift. Once we were inside Rob grabbed me and his lips were on mine. He kissed me with such passion and I never wanted it to end, but sadly we reached the lobby and had to get out. He looked deep into my eyes before he moved.

  “I think I’m in love with you Lucy. I know that’s crazy. We’ve only known each other for a couple months and we’ve been dating for one day, but I can’t stop my feelings. I’m in love with you.” He whispered. I was overwhelmed by his honesty and his feelings for me, but there was no denying I felt just the same.

  “Me too,” I replied. “In love with you I mean.” I felt the need to clarify. He laughed and took my hand as he led me through the lobby to the entrance. He grasped my shoulders and kissed me once again.

  “Now head back up there, lock the door, set the alarm and get some sleep beautiful. Ok?” He ordered. I nodded. He smiled and briefly kissed me once more, then he headed out. I was in a dreamlike state of happiness and contentment when I turned back to the lift, but it was short lived. I barely got a step before I heard a deafening pop and then screams. I turned around and my heart stopped. My blood ran cold. Phil stood at the foot of the steps, out front of the building, a gun in his hands, staring right at me. I could see him clear as day through the glass doors. I knew one day he would come and find me; he had threatened as much, and now there he was. I wondered how he had entered the country without Rob knowing. The tech guy Rob employed had apparently flagged Phil’s passport, so we’d all have a heads up if he was close. Had Rob known? Is that where he was headed? Surely he’d have told me if my psycho husband was in the city?