James gawked at her. Did she even know she was reading his mind all the time? Doubtful. She probably believed those purposely-distracting computations he employed were her random thoughts. Well, that was okay. He was more than happy to share his thoughts with her. And anything else of his she wanted to access, too.
*21 Necessary Documents
The clerk at the courthouse was as polite as she could be, but she was also resolute. A passport would not work for getting a marriage license.
“Now, let me get this straight,” James said. “It’s $60 for the document. I can take it right out that door, stop at any church and get any preacher to stand in front of us and ask ‘Do you?’ and ‘Do you?,’ have all of us sign it, bring it back here, and then we’re married?”
“Yes,” she drawled, talking slowly to him, as if he was mentally challenged and she wanted to make sure he understood, “but you have to have a US birth certificate to get married here. Now, if you were born in America, and can provide me with that very necessary document, then I’d be happy to take your money, and let you find a preacher. Even a magistrate can do the officiating—that means ask the words—and he’s even closer; he’s just down the hall. But I can’t let you marry the lady with just a passport. Now, is there something else I can do for you, or can I take care of the next person in line?”
James exhaled sharply. “Thank you for the information. I’ll see what I can do.” He turned to Leah, put his arm around her shoulder, and headed for the door. He stopped just short of leaving, delaying the inevitable while enjoying the coolness of the refrigeration, and the nearness of his fiancée. “You know what I have to do, don’t you?” Before she had a chance to answer, he said, “Of course you do, you always know what I’m thinking.”
Leah frowned. “I don’t do it on purpose. Yes, I know what needs to be done, but let’s stay in here to make the call. I don’t want to go out into that heat again until we have to.” She sat on the slatted bench by the exit and looked up at him, waiting for him to sit down.
James resigned himself to the task. He had to call Bibb and see if she had a birth certificate for him. He was still angry at being deceived about his parentage, but he’d have to get over it. After all, it was as much his father’s fault as hers. They were both in on it. And Bruce—he had to have known about it, too.
Suddenly, he felt like such a dupe, as if he was the only one in the world left out of the inside joke. He could feel his face flare with anger—red-hot rage, barely contained. He sat down hard on the bench, his chin on his knuckles like Rodin’s statue of The Thinker. He snorted with disgust as he looked at the highlighted phone number on the smartphone clutched in his other hand. He would rather do anything—even change a flat tire in this heat—than call her.
“Here, let me,” Leah said, as she put her hand on top of his and the phone.
He relinquished the phone to her, then leaned back against the cool wall, and stared up at the ceiling. Why was this so hard for him?
Leah answered his unspoken question. “I think it’s one, you’re mad at her for being your mother, and then shocked or disturbed or whatever, at finding out that you’re an American, or at least a dual citizen. Hey, things happen for a reason. At least now we can be married when we go back.” Leah’s voice changed—someone was on the phone. “Hi, I was looking for Bibb, Bibb Stephens?” Yeah, right, as if there was more than one Bibb at this phone number. “When do you think she’ll be back? Oh, is there any way to contact her? Hmm. Well, have her call Leah back at this number….”
Leah gave the man on the other end of the conversation her phone number. She didn’t mind if Bibb called her. On the contrary, she was going to have a mother-in-law! She beamed at the thought of having more family.
“What?” James wanted to know what Leah had been told, but he also wanted to know why she was suddenly so radiant.
“Oh, she went out of the country for a few days. She’ll be back Monday or Tuesday. We’ll still have plenty of time to get the license,” she replied absently. She knew he wanted to know why she was so happy all of a sudden. Well, she would leave the unspoken question of her contentment unexplained for now. She sighed deeply. Her mother would have liked Bibb. She always did admire strong women.
*22 Preparing to Blast
Leah took the debit card out of her wallet, wrapped her yellow one-paged seed order/tote-bag pattern/to-do-list around it, and slipped it into her back pocket for easy access. She was ready to go shopping online. She had finished the list of seeds she wanted to get for her mother, the former Alaskan gardener.
“Mom could grow monster cabbages, arm-long carrots, and the most magnificent roses in Alaska, but it frustrated her that she couldn’t get watermelons or okra to do worth a darn. She did okay with tomatoes, but only because she had a greenhouse. In Arizona, it was just the opposite. Not much, other than squash and melons, grew in the summer. The sun was so bright and hot, it actually burned the plants. When that happened, her compost pile grew, but so did her frustration. I think that’s one reason she moved to Alaska—she got fed up with the heat. So where is she now? Back in the heat!”
“Didn’t you say it was a different kind of heat—and that it seldom got truly cold in Arizona?”
Leah nodded. “Yeah, at least where we lived. The heat was bad, but the worst part was being cooped up inside all day. It was too hot to go anywhere when the sun was out, at least if you had to park your car anywhere in the open. We always did the grocery shopping at about nine at night. Even then, it was still warm, but at least the car didn’t turn into an oven during the hour or so you were in the store. Refrigeration for a home or a car wasn’t a luxury—it was a necessity. Then there was the ‘fed up with the dirt and sand’ syndrome. Anyone who lived in the desert as long as she had—and me, too—got tired of seeing burnt out, barren, vacant lots, and crushed granite landscaping. It was too expensive to have a grass lawn. You see, there wasn’t enough rainfall to support one without irrigation, and water cost a fortune. We never got much of a break, either. No autumn. Summer lasted from March until November. Spring was nice enough—both weeks,” she looked at him to make sure he had caught her little joke. He had and chuckled with her. “Except when those Palo Verde trees exploded with yellow blossoms. The pollen was so thick, you couldn’t breathe or see.”
“Really?” James asked, “You had pollen so heavy you couldn’t see?”
“Well, not that way. It wasn’t the density of the pollen that made it hard to see—it was the hay fever that came with it. Allergies were so bad that, damn, I wish I had a nickel for every box of tissues and bottle of antihistamines that were sold in the Valley of the Sun for one year…hell, even for the month of March. It makes my nose tickle just thinking about it. Hey, that’s something I think I’ll put in my medical kit. Antihistamines are good to have on hand if someone has an allergic reaction, not just for hay fever.” Leah pulled her mini yellow notebook from her back pocket and scribbled her latest stock suggestion in the margin.
“Don’t you think we should get you a real notebook for your list? It looks like you’re about to run out of room.”
“When I run out of room that means we have enough stuff. And by the way, how’s your list doing?”
James scooted closer to Leah. “I think I’ll get a revolver. I can get the shells, reloading kit, and supplies at this store,” he said, pointing to the name of a sporting goods store in the opened yellow page section of the phone directory. “We have to do something about the guns, though. When we’re done here, we should see if you can buy one here,” he pointed to his list, “and then go to Wal-Mart and get the other.”
Leah thought about it before replying. “I think I’ll take Billy’s advice. He told me to go ahead and use the pawn shops. We’d get a better deal, possibly, but there wouldn’t be so many people watching us buy them. It’s not illegal or anything. It’s just that it’s been known to happen that an honest, upright citizen buys a gun and is tailed after the sale by a no-g
oodnik who robs him, so he can use the weapon in a crime. If the original owner doesn’t get the theft reported in time, then he’s accused of the offense because the gun was registered to him. We can be both discreet and safe in this. Do you know what kind of gun you want?”
James grinned. She knew he knew, or that he’d been considering it a lot lately. He’d been distracting himself with thoughts of guns to keep her from seeing him think about her. “Take a guess,” he asked.
“Well, the first one that comes to my mind is Dirty Harry and his .44 magnum pistol. But I don’t think you’d want to bring a handgun with a barrel that long. Is that the caliber, though?”
“Yes, very astute of you, my dear. Give the lady a gold star. Yes, .44 magnum, but with a 4” barrel. A Smith & Wesson model 629 Mountain Gun would work for anything and everything. It might have too much of a kick for you, but we can go to the shooting range. You can get acquainted with it there, and we can sight both of them in at the same time. Have you ever fired a gun?”
“Billy took me shooting last winter. I hit the targets every time and even got a few bullseyes. He said I was a natural. I guess that’s a good thing. Anyway, it didn’t scare me, and the revolver felt comfortable in my hand. But I suppose the gun manufacturers design them that way on purpose. Come on, let’s go.”
Ӂ
Three pawnshops and two handguns later, they were back in the car. “I’m bushed,” Leah said. “I’m more tired than if I’d just worked a twelve-hour shift with a full floor.”
“I’m a bit spent myself. I think it’s the heat as much as any other one thing. Although we have had—or rather, you have had—a lot more to deal with than usual. So much for having the day off, eh?” James said with a chuckle.
“I’m tired, but you know what I’d like to do? I know, I know, rhetorical question—I’m not looking for an answer. I want to go swimming. I really liked floating in the pool with you. At least this time, I’m sure I won’t be awakened by my apartment being blown up. They can’t do that two days in a row now, can they?”
James snorted at her joke. He was glad she could laugh about it now. “Okay, let’s pull up to the motel. I’ll run in and get the suits. We can change at Billy’s, right? Or should we change in the room first?”
“You know, I don’t even care if I’m wearing a bathing suit. I’d jump in with what I have on now, although I don’t suggest you do it in long pants.” Leah looked at the clock in the dashboard. “Rats. It’s past Billy’s bedtime. He’s probably asleep already. I don’t want to disturb him. Yes, let’s change clothes first. After we’re done swimming, we can grab a burger at a drive-through and bring it home for dinner.”
James started laughing, apparently for no reason at all.
“What’s so funny?” Leah asked. “I don’t remember making a joke or farting.”
James laughed even harder, barely able to breathe. “Farting?” he chortled, as he finally settled downed enough to form the word.
“Slapstick, potty humor, whatever—you know. You laugh when someone falls down, accidentally farts… Geez, it’s not funny if you have to explain it.” She huffed in exasperation, then turned to him and asked indignantly, “So, what is so damned funny?”
He sighed and relaxed back into the seat, shaking his head slightly in amazement. “I guess it’s not really comical. It’s just that I—that is, we—are considering the motel our home. I never, ever, in my wildest dreams thought I would consider an oversized bedroom with a shower and a toilet—which I paid for by the day—to be my home. But you know, home is where you’re with someone you lu..,” James choked on the word love, cleared his throat in embarrassment, and continued, “with someone you care about. Right?”
“Right….” Leah drawled. She knew what he had almost said. It was probably better that he hadn’t said the ‘L’ word. She could wait. He was smart, kind, had a hot body, but she wasn’t sure that she was ready to hear that word from any man yet. Even if they were getting married in a few days.
She pulled into the parking spot in front of their ‘home’ and left the engine—and air conditioning—running. James ran in and donned the bright green John Deere boxer shorts he had slept in. He made sure that he kept on his ‘tighty whitey’ underwear underneath, though. Any gaps that occurred would only reveal good old American cotton briefs. He chuckled at his little ploy as he walked out the door, waving for Leah to come in and change clothes while he babysat the car.
Leah saw James come out in his ‘gap’ shorts, but didn’t say a word. It’s his body, and if he wants to show it off, that’s his prerogative. True, it is a nice body, but I really can’t tell the man how to dress—at least not until he’s my husband. Then I’ll definitely have a word or two to say about him going out in public with his tallywhacker popping out of his shorts. Instead, she kept her mouth shut, grinned, and raised one eyebrow as in ‘uh huh,’ then took the room key from him.
It took her a full minute to strip off her dress, tug on the red one-piece swimsuit, and throw the dress back over it. “Ooh, towels,” she said aloud, and grabbed all the big ones. One last look around the room—oops, grab the key—and she was outside the door, waving the little white and green keycard like it was a winning lottery ticket.
Leah got back behind the wheel and placed the keycard in James’s hand. “You know, this is like a winning lottery ticket.” She didn’t look for his reaction, but knew she should explain herself. “Well, kind of. I mean, I feel like I won you because, Lord knows, I didn’t buy you, never asked for you, or even felt like I did anything to deserve you.”
“Wow!” James replied, totally stunned. He remained silent for a moment, letting her words sink in. “You know,” he said, tentatively placing his hand on her bare thigh, “I do believe that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me—and I mean ever. Wow! Thank you.”
“Well…” Leah said, and paused, unsure of what to say or do next. She hadn’t meant to be all mushy, but it was true. She felt that if she hadn’t verbalized it, she would always regret not taking the opportunity. “You were past due.”
She cleared her throat and changed her attitude, “Are you sure you should wear those underpants in public, I mean, at least without the ‘gap insurance’ towel?” She hadn’t intended to say anything about his revealing wardrobe, but now needed to say something—anything—to change the subject.
“What? You think that little old thing might pop out again?” He laughed and watched for her reaction.
Leah just shook her head and blushed, trying to pretend that this conversation really wasn’t happening. “Don’t worry,” he said after a moment of watching her discomfort, “I kept on my—what do the sailors call them, ‘skivvies’?—you know, cotton briefs.”
Leah took a deep breath, partly from relief, mostly from exasperation. If she couldn’t change the subject, she’d just ignore it. “Ho-kay,” she drawled, “we’re almost there. Grab the phones and the towels, and we’ll make a mad dash to the pool.”
Leah pulled her car in next to ‘the beast’ in the parking lot. “Looks like Billy did a bit of wax and polish on the old Dodge. Man, it looks good!”
James gave it a cursory once over after he got out of the car. He stopped as he got to the back end of the truck, bent over, and exclaimed, “He even polished the exhaust pipe!” He shook his head in amazement. “I guess he didn’t have time to go out and get it chromed. Good grief, if he keeps treating it this nice, what’s he going to do to it after he owns it?”
“Owns it?” Leah asked.
“Yes, didn’t you get the memo? It’s going to be my thank-you gift to him.” He wasn’t going to elaborate on why he was thanking him. If Leah was ‘peeking,’ she’d know.
“‘Thank you’ for suggesting that you and I get married?” Leah asked coyly.
“Yes.” James walked around to her side of the car and took her hand. He brought it up to his lips and gave it a gentle kiss, pulled back, and looked into her eyes. “And to thank him for being th
e way he is. If he was trying to put on an act and, shall we say, be ‘someone he wasn’t,’ he might marry you for show, and then, where would I be?”
Leah rolled her eyes, not knowing how she should react. She was beginning to feel the same way. Rather than swoon and get romantic, though, she simply said, “Hell, if I know,” and pulled him alongside her as she walked briskly toward the pool area. Suddenly, hearing the word ‘love’ was both scary and exciting.
*23 Sneaking Out
August 7, 2013, 1:11 AM
James was glad his internal clock hadn’t reset to North Carolina time. He wanted to wake up early so he could sneak out while Leah slept. He needed to be clear-headed, too. His body was still on London time, which made his secret sortie easier. He looked at his watch. It was 1:11 a.m.
Quick, make a wish, he thought, as he remembered Leah’s little superstitious habit. Okay, I wish this would go off without a hitch, and that Leah and I can go back in time and live happily ever after. He chuckled softly. Well, I don’t have to short-change myself on the wishes now, do I? Okay, here’s a couple more. And I wish we catch up to our missing parents, and that we have many beautiful, healthy children. He swung his feet out of bed. Yeah, well, if they’re her offspring, they’ll definitely be beautiful. I’ll simply wish for healthy.
He looked over at the sleeping lady who he hoped would be the mother of his children. Her face was animated, grinning, even letting out a little laugh, but ended with a frown. She was obviously dreaming. Hopefully she was a sound sleeper.
He grabbed his trousers and shirt from the back of the chair and put his hand completely around her large bundle of keys, muffling any jingling noises. He threw his clothing over his arm, clenched the keys tight in his fist, and put his other hand on the doorknob. He looked around behind him. Something was wrong. He took a quick, startled breath as he realized that he didn’t have the room key. There wasn’t any use in sneaking out in the wee hours if he had to knock on the door to get back in!
Aye, I am a Fairy Page 20