by RJ Blain
It was too much work to deny what he wanted, so I sighed again and forced myself to nod.
“It’ll make your wolf happy, too. You’ll see. I’m going to take you back to Dustin, we’re going to get you warm and dry, and then I’m going to have him give you a nudge back to human shape. I’ll bring you into my pack, and you’ll let me take care of you, okay?”
Packs frightened me, but my wolf was so hopeful it hurt. I submitted, wondering if I was making yet another catastrophic mistake.
Desmond wrapped me in his jacket and held me close. The transformation from wolf to human went by in a pained blur, and afterwards, I shook so much I couldn’t hold anything, let alone fight him. When he brought me into his pack, instead of the shock of so many pressing down on me, all I sensed was a faint warmth.
My wolf was puzzled and intrigued by the sensation. With her attention so absorbed by the new feeling, I was left to deal with the consequences of what I had done.
All I wanted to do was crawl into a corner somewhere and sob.
“Easy, Sara. No one’s going to hurt you, not with me on guard,” Desmond murmured in my ear, rubbing my back. “Holly, can you bring your rental around, please? Let’s get her out of the cold.”
“Sure. It’ll take a few minutes. I’ll have to figure out how to get it nearby and out of sight of the Normals.”
“Dustin, how’s her temperature?”
The witch took hold of my hand, massaging my wrist with his thumbs. “Low, but not dangerous. Mild hypothermia. She’s dehydrated, but she’ll do. Are you sure separating her from Stud Muffin for more than a few minutes is a good idea?”
“He has two submissive Fenerec with him. One is probably about as fragile as Sara is right now. While I’d love to watch Chrissy suffer a bit for her part in this, I think there’s been enough damage done. Sanders needs to get his pack in line. Unless they’re physically separated, he can’t focus on his pack, not with her like this. Wendy will take care of him.”
“So long as we keep his mate stable,” the witch pointed out.
“I’m okay,” I mumbled.
“You’re cold, you’re in shock, and judging from your scent, you’re trying really hard not to cry,” Desmond replied. “That hardly counts as okay. You don’t have to keep pretending, Sara. I’m not going to tell, and despite the way he keeps running his mouth, Dustin doesn’t mean any harm either.”
“Oh, I mean harm, just not to her,” the witch grumbled.
“I think Sanders has suffered enough, and if that doesn’t get his pack rethinking things, well, maybe I’ll just steal their Alpha. That’d serve them right.”
“I’m pretty sure the uppers would not like it if you yanked Seattle’s Alpha out of his pack, Mr. Desmond.”
“I’d consider giving him back if they groveled sufficiently. I could give him to Sara as a present.”
Releasing my wrist, Dustin rose to his feet. “Please disregard this nonsense coming out of his mouth.”
“It’s not nonsense. It’s strategic thinking. Sanders is too good of an Alpha to waste on a bunch of ungrateful mongrels.”
The rumble of a car’s engine drew Desmond’s attention, and with a grunt, he got to his feet without dropping me. “Make sure that’s Holly.”
“It is,” Dustin replied, heading up the slope towards the road at a jog. After a moment, he waved at Desmond, who walked towards the road.
I closed my eyes and hid my face against Desmond’s shirt.
“That’s right, Sara. You just hide your pretty face and let me worry about everything. Cry if it makes you feel better. Get it out of your system. Then, you can get some sleep, and I promise you’ll feel better in the morning.”
I doubted I’d ever feel better, but I remained silent. Telling him the truth wouldn’t change things.
Chapter Eighteen
Although I won the battle over riding in the backseat of the car, I had to lean against Desmond because I was too tired to sit up on my own. My wolf minded far less than I did; she found the man’s presence comforting, reminding me of how she reacted when Sanders touched me.
Desmond’s phone rang, and with a sigh, he answered, “Desmond.”
I drew in a deep breath to catch his scent, which had soured from annoyance. My wolf whined, and at her urging, I wrapped my fingers around his wrist. Pulling free, he tucked me under his arm and gave my shoulder a brisk rub.
“Who called you?” Desmond demanded. “No, that’s not a wise idea. Please tell me what he told you, so I can proceed to correct any misinformation you may have been fed.”
I sighed. Holly twisted around in the front seat, reached back, and patted my knee. “We’re going to stop in a few minutes to get you something warm to drink and eat. Any preferences?”
Shaking my head, I wondered if I could get away with not having anything at all. My stomach churned at the thought of food, and even my wolf wasn’t hungry.
“Well. I wasn’t aware she had spoken with you, sir. Were you planning on calling me, or were you just expecting me to do exactly what I wanted anyway?” There was a short moment of silence, and Desmond laughed. “Dead to rights. That’s exactly what I did. The part where she called her mate a string of unpleasantries is, in actuality, true, but he seems to have neglected to mention the part where she called him out along with that piss-poor excuse of a submissive bitch. Did he mention the part where your water witch pulled her lifeless body out of the ocean afterwards? Did he also mention she wasn’t breathing and didn’t have a heartbeat—that’s what I meant by lifeless—thus making it impossible for Dustin to do anything for her?”
I heard something crunch on the other end of the line before it quieted. I trembled at the way Desmond described what I had done, wishing I could disappear forever.
“It’s fortunate their mating bond is strong enough Sanders was able to track her down. If we hadn’t had Dustin with us, sir, she would have died. As it is, she’s suffering from hypothermia, although forcing transformations somewhat resolved the physical issues. Dustin doesn’t believe she was submerged long enough for any brain damage, but she’s currently nonvocal. I’ve been considering yanking Sanders right out from his pack as direct retaliation for what they’ve done. Sara told you the truth, sir. Dustin confirmed it. I sent Sanders ahead to the hotel with his pack and Wendy to attempt to deal with the problem. It seems when she entered the same room with two of the participating Fenerec, she snapped. Unfortunately, neither Sanders nor I realized what they were doing.”
“Dustin, pull over. He wants a word with you,” Desmond ordered. The witch obeyed, and once the car was in park, he reached back for the phone. Desmond shifted in the seat, turning so he could nestle my head against his chest. “I apologize. I couldn’t afford to beat around the bush. Relax, you’re not in any trouble,” he whispered in my ear. “I know of some Fenerec who are, but that’s their problem. They can deal with the consequences of their actions.”
“Yes, sir?” Dustin answered, turning to glare at Desmond. “Stu—ahem, Mr. Sanders was the one who performed CPR, sir. I felt he was the best motivated. She didn’t respond for approximately five minutes. Yes, I did so without permission, sir. Her mate was in no condition to grant permission. He was stuck on repeat until she resumed breathing, and once she did, he was busy begging her not to die, sir. I needed to know what I was working with. If this were my jurisdiction, I’d be pressing charges against every mongrel in that pack with the exception of their Alpha. Please, allow me to be blunt, sir.”
Desmond pinched the bridge of his nose. “This should be interesting,” he muttered.
“Imagine for a moment. You’re a young woman, you’re pretty, and you’re smart, but you have a fake ID. You’ve run away from something, something you perceive as bad enough you don’t want found. You work several jobs. Because you can’t get financial aid, because you don’t exist in the system, you work under the table. You’re a ghost. You manage to get some schooling in on the side, but you’re going to a shit coll
ege because it’s all you can afford. So, you’re selling yourself because it’s the only way you can get by.”
When I cringed, Desmond rested his chin on top of my head. My wolf settled, and her calm infected me. The pleasant, soothing warmth she liked so much intensified, and I relaxed.
“Yes, sir, that’s exactly what I’m saying. So, you don’t have a family, and everything gets turned upside down on you. You find out a lot of crazy shit, but there’s a silver lining. There’s this great guy. He’s good enough looking, if you like rugged men who clean up nice. You do. Stop snorting, sir. So, you have a lot of whole new instincts and urges you don’t really understand, but this guy does, and he treats you like you’re actually worth something—and you’re worth a lot to him. This is entirely new territory for you. However, there’s a problem, one he isn’t aware of. This great guy has a lot of overprotective idiot puppies, and they don’t like the idea of you, a pretty little skirt, infringing on their territory. Maybe a few of the bitches want him. Maybe they think they know what’s better for him. So, they gang up. You don’t have any idea how to protect yourself from the emotional aspects of being in such a large family group. Your great guy is used to those who project first and feel second. Problem is you’re a quiet little thing, and you’re not projecting into the bonds. You, however, have a front row seat to how much everyone hates you. No one wants you. You don’t want to complain, because you’ve found such a great guy, and you love him. You don’t deserve him, and you know it.”
Desmond growled, long and low, the sound reverberating in his chest. Twisting around, Dustin glared at us. “Quiet down back there,” he ordered.
While Desmond tensed beneath me, he ceased making any noise.
“Sorry about that, sir. Mr. Desmond was growling, and the last thing I need is to have to calm her down to keep her mate from losing his shit.”
“I apologize for him, sir,” Holly said, grinning at Desmond. “Please don’t bite us.”
“You’re safe for the moment, Holly. I wouldn’t dream of biting a cop without her permission,” he replied.
“Yes, sir, you would.”
“You’re right. I would,” Desmond admitted cheerfully.
Dustin cleared his throat. “I apologize, sir. As I was saying. There you are. You’ve somehow landed the man of your dreams, but you find out he comes with some impressive baggage of his own. You’re okay with competing with his dead wife; you’re happy he noticed you at all. You can live with it. But then his wife’s killer comes after you. You kill him, robbing your man of the revenge he’s been hunting for more than half a year. In reality, he’s a wolf and such things are, ah, considered rather sexy. Unfortunately, you don’t know that, so you’re worried and stressed. He’s relieved you’re alive and still with him. However, those assholes in your pack are taking advantage of your uncertainties, convincing you that your mate would be better off without you. You’ve been told mating bonds are permanent until death, so you decide to go for a swim in the ocean, believing you’d be doing everyone a favor if you just drowned, which is exactly what you do.”
Sighing, Desmond took hold of my hand, flicking at my finger tips. Puzzled, I watched him. My wolf urged me to flick him back, and when I did, he dodged my strike, wiggling his fingers at me in a taunt. She stirred, seizing control enough to voice a mock growl, flicking at him until she grazed him.
“Yes, sir. Will she recover? Well, that depends on her, sir. Physically, she’ll likely be fine by tomorrow morning. Mentally and emotionally? I can’t answer your question. Trauma this extensive does not vanish overnight. A good therapist, some quiet time with her mate, and surrounded by people who genuinely want her around? She may bounce back quick. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have many people who genuinely want her around. Holly likes her. Hell, I like her. She’s got brains and she’s feisty, at least when people aren’t trying to beat her down. Her mate adores her, as does Mr. Desmond and his mate. Everyone else? From her point of view, they look at her, compare her to Mary, and find her lacking.”
There was a long moment of silence. “You want my opinion, sir?”
Desmond chuckled, “That’s like inviting a fox to a hen house for dinner.”
“Let her decide what she wants to do, sir. I think the only decision she’s gotten to make for herself since all of this started was who she wanted for a mate. Give her time. Let those pathetic excuses for Fenerec wallow, and if they take too long seeing the error of their ways, have Desmond take over Seattle’s pack, systematically exile each and every last one of them, and let them experience what it’s like to be alone and unwanted in the world. I think Desmond would enjoy it.”
“Damn straight I’d enjoy it,” Desmond snarled. “Make them petition Sara to be allowed back in. If that doesn’t humble them, nothing will, and as Sanders’s mate, that’s her right. If they can’t accept her, well, we can relocate them to new packs.”
After a few moments, Dustin hung up, offering the phone back to Desmond. “He’s considering it and will get back to you tomorrow.”
“Who knows? Maybe the mere threat of me becoming their Alpha in a pack without Sanders will be punishment enough.”
Holly snickered. “The mere threat of you being in their pack will give them nightmares, sir.”
“Why?” I whispered, my voice hoarse.
With a small smile, Desmond curled some of my hair around his finger and gave a gentle tug. “Because they made your mate lie to you and they know it, dear. I do not like when people turn my friends into liars. It doesn’t hurt I’m a scary son of a bitch when I want to be.”
At Holly’s orders, we stopped at Walmart so she could buy me clothes. I ached from head to toe as I changed, grateful she had chosen soft and warm over appearances. If anyone complained about me wearing yoga pants when we arrived at the hotel, I’d do my best to ignore them. My wolf preferred the idea of biting them in the face.
Maybe I’d humor her.
“Eyes on the road, Dustin,” Holly growled.
“Pretty woman in rearview mirror, Holly,” Dustin growled back.
While I blushed, my wolf preened. Embarrassed that she enjoyed being admired while I changed, I flipped my middle finger at him. “Weren’t you the one who told me faces were high in protein or something?”
Desmond laughed, reached between the seats, and adjusted the mirror. “Your rearview mirror privileges are revoked until she’s done changing.”
“Spoilsport.”
“Should’ve paid,” I retorted, wiggling my way into the red sweater Holly had purchased. “Only Sanders gets free shows.”
“Lucky, lucky man,” Dustin replied. “How much?”
“How much can you afford? Add ten thousand to that number.”
“I think I’ve been rejected, Holly.”
“Sorry. It must be so hard to be you.”
Digging through the bag, Desmond pulled out a thin, plush blanket, pulled me to him, and wrapped me in it. “There. Now you get nice and warm and stay that way. While we Fenerec do not catch colds, we can come down with an assortment of unpleasantries, including fevers and stomach bugs.”
“Lung infections are possible, and if she doesn’t come down with one, I’ll be surprised,” Dustin said. “Saltwater does a good job of stripping the lungs of all the good stuff protecting them from infections.”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Now, Sara, you have some choices to make. You can share my room with Wendy and I or you can share your mate’s suite. Unfortunately, his suite connects with Joseph’s.”
“I have a room at the hotel,” I replied.
“You’re not staying alone, Sara.”
“I detect a territorial dispute in progress,” Holly stated. “Mr. Desmond, if I might offer a bit of advice, why don’t you let her invite someone to stay in her room instead of trying to move her out of her space.”
“Very well. Sara, who do you want to invite to your room tonight?”
My wolf fixated on our mate, and a
s always, her lust bled into me. After tonight, would Sanders even want me?
I whispered, “He won’t want me.”
Desmond and Dustin both snorted, but it was Holly who said, “You really don’t get how mating bonds work, do you?”
I flushed, staring at the back of the driver’s seat.
“Sara, he wants you as much as you want him. Put him in the same room with you, and he won’t be able to keep his hands off you, reassuring himself you’re still in one piece. One thing will lead to another, and you’ll find out just how much he needs you,” she said before chuckling. “Now that’ll be some classic revenge, when his pack feels how happy you make him when you take him to your bed. Let them suck on that for a while. Go for gold and have fun all night long. Then you’ll really feel better in the morning. That’d teach them all, especially if he fills your belly with a puppy.”
“Nine months of no changing to her wolf wouldn’t be a healthy endeavor at this point in time, Holly,” Desmond stated.
“She’d be fine,” Dustin stated. “Remember, I’m a water witch, and I was just checking her health. There’s nothing wrong with her, she’s fertile, and from what I can tell, she’s been in rut plenty long enough for puppies to be an option should she want them. Her wolf’s tough and so tame she shouldn’t have a problem with it, assuming you and Sanders help her through the full moons.”
My face burned so hot I feared I’d erupt into a ball of flame. “Puppies? You mean children? Us? Have kids?”
“Let’s see, if you two went for a full mating tonight, you could change this moon without any risk to the baby,” Dustin said, making thoughtful noises. “You might even be able to change next moon as well, since it’d be early enough. I’m okay with making the runs to Seattle to help out with the checkups if Holly and Barry are.”
“You are terrible. They’ve been mated less than a full month and you’re planning puppies for them,” Desmond said, his tone amused. “Forgive them, Sara. Fenerec and bonded witches love puppies more than life itself. If you cretins really want her to have his puppies, you’ll have to educate her on the mating rituals, or they’ll just be having a lot of exercise without any puppies as a result.”