Tell Me No Secrets

by Lynda Stacey

  She remembered the piercing scream that had left her brother’s lips and the sobs that had come from Eve, before the mist had closed in and for a while she’d taken pleasure in the darkness, but another piercing scream had made her open her eyes.

  She was on a grass verge, with Eve lying beside her. Eve looked grey and terrified, her eyes pleading for help, but the road was deserted. Kate remembered trying to sit up, to look for their saviour, for the person who must have pulled them from the car, but they were alone. Where was James? It was then that she looked down into the depths of the ditch; she could see the car and knew that James must still been inside and she scrambled down the verge to get to him. It was then that she saw him. Lying on his side, his pale, grey face below the surface of the water, and she’d known immediately that he was gone. Her brother was dead.

  Another scream had brought her thoughts back to Eve. Her hands were in spasm and Kate was terrified that she was about to lose Eve too. She had leaned into the car, located her bag, which had escaped the water, and had grabbed at her phone to call for help.

  Then, she’d scrambled back to where Eve lay on the grass. Confusion surrounded her. She clearly remembered being inside the car, so how had they got to be high up on the verge? Had she pulled Eve from the car? Or had someone else saved them?

  It was only then, like a flash of lightning, that a severe pain tore through her, a pain that seared through the left side of her face like a scythe slashing its way through corn. Her hand lifted up to her chin. Blood poured from the wound. Fear and terror hit her. Her brother was dead, Eve was screaming, louder and louder, and a piercing noise that came from within her own body sounded like it had come from elsewhere and had lasted forever.

  Then from nowhere, there had been sirens: ambulances, police and paramedics.

  Bedlam had begun.

  ‘Kate, do you want some salad?’ Eve’s voice brought her back to reality. She looked up, stared at her sister, then stood up and hugged her. A tear dropped down her cheek; no one knew how many times she’d prayed that it had been her instead of Eve and that, if she could, she’d happily take Eve’s place. Was any of it really her fault? Had she dragged her out of the car, causing her injuries? Surely, she couldn’t have, could she? But if not, how had they got out and why did her heart break every time she looked at Eve, or thought about James?

  Chapter Six

  Kate sank into her candlelit bath, held her hands up and admired her newly polished nails. Her whole body ached and the heat of the water soon began to relax her. It was already eight o’clock, and after two hours of being at Eve’s, she’d crawled into the cottage, up the stairs and straight into the bathroom.

  She loved the times when she had the cottage to herself. It was pure luxury and Kate found great pleasure in the peace and solitude. She had such poignant memories of her grandmother here and when Rob had rung to say he wouldn’t be home till late, she’d been annoyed at first, but now she didn’t care. Sipping a glass of Summer Red wine, she eased back against the bath pillow. The bath was huge, double ended and meant for two, meaning that it was far too big for one little person; she couldn’t touch the bottom and she had to press her feet against each side of the bath to stop from slipping too far down and drowning.

  Her eyes closed as Kate thought about her day. She loved working again, and loved being around Ben. They’d spent most of the day chatting, and talking about the different aspects of running the business side of investigating. The budgets, the cost per hour, and the continuous reportage. Ben had explained how he’d once been asked to trace a woman, had been told that she was in danger, only to find out in the nick of time that the man he was working for had been her former husband. She was of an ethnic background and he’d had every intention of killing her, as and when he found her. But Ben had realised the mistake and ever since, every aspect of a job had been thoroughly checked prior to taking it on. And even though she knew he’d only been doing his job, telling her all she needed to know and was only being friendly, trying to make her feel part of the team, she was sure he’d enjoyed his day too. For the first time in over a year, she felt vibrant and alive. She’d forgotten how it felt, but knew that it was a feeling that she wanted to continue.

  ‘You okay, baby?’ Kate jumped as Rob’s voice broke into her dreams and thoughts. She’d dozed off and hadn’t heard him come into the cottage, never mind the bathroom. Quickly she began moving the bubbles around trying to regain the warmth of the water that had now turned cold. A shiver travelled through her body.

  ‘Mmmmm, I’m fine,’ she replied sleepily. ‘Just tired, it’s been a really long day.’

  Swallowing hard, she looked up at Rob. He was kneeling beside the bath. His huge dolphin-tattooed biceps were stretching the T-shirt material to bursting point and his dark eyes were sparkling in the candlelight. Kate stared into their depths. She loved him so much, but after the way he’d treated her that morning, he barely deserved it. She closed her eyes for a second and thought of how he used her. All she was to him was a housekeeper. The woman who continuously cleaned up after him, picked up after him and served his food. Why did she keep doing it? He was an adult and capable of doing it all for himself, but … she shook her head. Was she grateful to him? Was she just happy that someone had taken on the girl with the ugly, scarred face?

  Her stomach tightened in anticipation as she noticed Rob’s eyes travel appreciatively up and down her naked body. Did she want him to touch her, and if he did, would he drop her unceremoniously, like he had earlier?

  ‘Are you cold, baby? You look cold. Let’s see if I can warm you up?’ His voice came over husky and sexy as Kate felt his hand begin to sweep down the inside of her thigh.

  ‘That’s nice,’ she managed to whisper as his lips came toward her. She wanted their relationship back to the way it used to be and found herself responding hungrily, and melting into the familiarity of his kiss. She knew every movement off by heart, every touch of his hand, every flick of his tongue. The past few days of uncertainty were forgotten, as she lifted herself up and onto her knees. She reached towards him impatiently and began tearing at his T-shirt, dragging it rapidly over his head.

  ‘You like that, baby?’

  He teased her with his tongue, and in one swift skilled movement he lifted her from the bath and laid her down on the bathroom floor.

  ‘You know I do,’ Kate moaned. Her hands moved over him, returning his touch, just as he’d taught her on so many occasions before.

  His lips came down heavily towards hers, but quickly moved to her neck. His hands worked fervently and before she knew it, he’d pushed himself deep inside her.

  Kate winced. But his mouth expertly fell upon her, and his hands pushed hers high above her head as she began to relax as his rhythm built. They moved from floor to bed; the lovemaking was turbulent, wild. Yet still, there was something missing.

  Kate looked over to where Rob now slept with a natural rise and fall of his chest. His perfectly bronzed face looked happy and peaceful. But a tear dropped down her face. She’d thought his presence would make her happy, thought their lovemaking would make everything right, but instead of happy she felt an extraordinary emptiness. A void that she knew needed filling, but had no idea how to do it.

  They’d just made love, but it hadn’t been how it used to be and, if she were perfectly honest with herself, she knew it was more having sex than making love and wasn’t sure that Rob was aware of the difference. In her heart she knew that the distance between them had just widened and she had no idea how she could ever bridge the gap. Or even if she wanted to.

  Chapter Seven

  If Kate had thought that watching daytime television had been boring, then maybe she should have tried sitting in a library for hours on end, watching Luca Bellandini, who stamped books and made polite conversation with small children and numerous women who all looked to be over the age of fifty.

  He was currently seated behind the counter checking books that had been returned
that morning. Basically, he was doing his job. Nothing suggested to Kate that he was doing anything wrong and from what she could tell, he hadn’t even been in the bathroom for more than a few moments at a time.

  She’d tried her best to look busy and had even dragged her old rucksack out of the loft and had filled it with her old pencil case, chocolate bars and cartons of juice. All her stationery was now laid out a little too neatly on the table before her. Her eyes glanced over the perfect line of products. To her, the rows were normal, but she knew that others thought it to be strange and she purposely made the decision to move the highlighter and ruler into skewed positions, and then stared at them, before quickly straightening the items back to where they’d previously been.

  She’d taken her seat at 9.30 that morning and had looked around periodically, but still hadn’t spotted Ben. Maybe he’d got to the library first, and sat himself in an alcove. The thought that he could be watching her while she was watching Luca Bellandini made her bristle with excitement and Kate shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She’d stared at the same page of the reference book for over an hour and peered over to where Luca Bellandini now stood, and had to make a conscious effort to turn the page over each and every time he looked in her direction, or make notes on her pad. It was all she could do to try and look relaxed, while deep inside, her stomach turned in circles.

  A writers’ group of six women walked in and sat at the table next to hers. They were all chatting about a new writers’ scheme and who would be the next J K Rowling. One woman, a thin lady with short blonde hair, kept mentioning biscuits and another talked constantly about a new publishing deal that she may or may not have.

  Kate listened in, hoping to learn something about what they did, and wondered how anyone ever managed to write a whole book. She smiled. Maybe one day she’d try and write, especially if this job didn’t work out. After all, she knew all about the law; maybe she could write crime.

  It couldn’t be that hard, could it?

  ‘Are you studying law?’ The enquiring voice of Ben Parker came from behind her, making Kate catch her breath. She stared at her books. The sound of his voice made her begin to tremble inside and her eye began to twitch all by itself. She hadn’t realised he was here. She’d thought that she was alone and she’d thought he’d keep a distance. It made her worry that she’d done something wrong.

  He was supposed to be sitting at another table.

  ‘Act naturally,’ he whispered sitting down across from her. Ben opened his book and pretended to read. ‘Do we have anything yet?’ he said as he glanced over to where the six writers sat, all nudging each other and smiling simultaneously, as Ben removed his brown leather jacket making himself comfortable for what looked to be an extended stay.

  ‘Not really, he doesn’t seem to do anything wrong,’ she whispered nervously. ‘What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you go over there somewhere, at the other side of the room?’ She indicated tables beyond the reception desk, and smiled, just as Luca Bellandini glanced across.

  ‘Well …’ His lips were pursed and mischievous. ‘… the truth is; I was missing you. I just couldn’t wait a moment longer before coming over here to see you.’ He smiled as he picked up one of her pens and began scribbling notes down on a pad.

  Her heart skipped a beat. He was far too charming for her liking. His mannerisms were effortless, sexy and compelling, and his eyes sparkled with mischief.

  ‘You … you’re not serious?’ she quizzed, wriggled in her seat and dropped her pen on the floor. Ben’s presence made her nervous and she looked around to check how many people were watching their interaction.

  ‘No, I’m not serious, Kate.’ Ben looked into her face; she was so open, yet closed all at the same time and he liked the way she switched from feisty to naïve, without notice. He thought he’d met every kind of woman that there was, as over the past four years every one of his friends had introduced him to almost every available woman in Yorkshire, yet Kate was unique and none of the others were quite like her. He knew he’d unnerved her and tried to change the subject. ‘Look, I thought you’d need to get some lunch, or a comfort break. I’ll wait here and watch our person of interest until you get back.’

  He looked over his shoulder and watched Luca as he rummaged under the desk, nodded to a young man and then disappeared to the other end of the library. To the end where he was supposed to be sitting.

  He mentally kicked himself, stood up and stretched. Just long enough to see Bellandini take something from his pocket and place it down on a bookshelf, only for the other man to walk behind him and pick it up.

  ‘Oh. Right, of course, I should have guessed.’ She stumbled on her words and then paused as she looked around the room. ‘Actually, I could use some food. It hadn’t occurred to me how hungry I was until you mentioned it,’ she rambled. Once again she felt as though she’d been dismissed and quickly packed her pens one at a time into their correct part of the rucksack, before adding the notepad into the back pocket.

  Her stomach growled and she felt stupid. After all, she should have realised that Ben would watch Bellandini while she got lunch. Even though she’d worked undercover in the Met, it had all been very different. There you had a big team, lots of people to cover the job, but at Parker & Son there was just a few of them. All the work had to be shared and she really hadn’t thought about how their daily routine would work. She laughed and thought of all the many episodes of Magnum, P.I, Miss Marple and Poirot that she’d watched, realising that it had never occurred to her that none of them had ever taken a bathroom break. Or had they?

  Her eyes looked down at the book that Ben was reading.

  ‘Your book,’ she whispered, while laughing nervously, carefully pointing towards it. ‘You might kind of want to turn it round. It’s upside down.’

  Kate picked up the rucksack, just as her mobile bleeped. She’d forgotten to silence it and quickly grabbed it from the bag. Rob’s name appeared on the screen and she immediately read the message.

  Don’t wait up. Not sure when I’ll be home.

  Kate glared at the text. How dare he. She was angry with Rob and threw the phone back into her bag, making the writing group all turn around and stare.

  ‘Sorry,’ she whispered, realising how loud the noise must have been and how much attention she’d just drawn to herself.

  But she was annoyed. There had been no ‘good morning’, no ‘love you’, and not even a kiss at the end of the message. He often worked late, she knew that. But up until a few months ago, he’d always made a point of speaking to her during the day and if he did have to send a text, it would be more than just a few words and he’d always put kisses at the end. She felt tears spring into her eyes.

  ‘Hey, I know your private life is none of my business, but … well, are you okay?’ Ben questioned in a soft whisper, his eyes never leaving the book that he continued to flick through.

  Kate glared and grabbed at the rucksack. ‘I’m fine and you’re right, my private life is none of your damn business.’ This was not the place to talk about it and right now she was far too angry with Rob to share her emotions with her intriguing, gorgeous, new colleague.

  She closed her eyes for just a moment. It wasn’t Ben’s fault. ‘Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped. I’ll go and get lunch.’

  Chapter Eight

  ‘Are you still here?’ Kate smiled jokingly as she approached Ben. It was just after two o’clock and he was still sitting at the table, pretending to read his book.

  ‘Of course I am. You could at least try and look pleased to see me. I thought it’d be a good idea to hang around and give you some support. Besides, what was it you wanted … oh yes, a bloody induction,’ Ben whispered, making Kate chuckle.

  He turned on the smile. His whole face lit up and his eyes once again sparkled with mischief. Anyone watching would be convinced that he was flirting with her and Kate wondered if the circumstances had been different, would he have flirted with her for real
or was it just a compelling act that he’d mastered perfectly?

  She looked away.

  Ben had already stacked some of his books up on the table and smiled hopefully in her direction, as Kate glanced over to where Bellandini sat before his computer, tapping away on the keyboard.

  ‘Here, pretend to look at this book.’ Ben moved the reference book around for her to look at as she took a seat. He stood up and sat beside her, whispering, ‘He’s been behind the counter for the majority of the time. He did, however, disappear for just over ten minutes. A room at the back of the library, at least three people went in and out of there during that time and I really want to know what he did in that room.’

  Kate inhaled. Ben’s deep musky scent overpowered her senses as she closed her eyes in a vain attempt to stop herself looking directly at him. Her bag dropped noisily from her knee and caught the table leg making Bellandini once again look up from behind his counter.

  The writers’ group seemed to have disappeared from the table beside them and in the time that they’d chatted, the whole room had practically emptied.

  A rotund elderly female assistant had appeared in the library and now sat beside Bellandini, but, Kate noticed, they didn’t appear to talk at all, which for colleagues she found odd. Their body language screamed at each other and they sat as far apart as they possibly could, and she quickly wrote the detail in her notebook.

  So, what was Bellandini up to?

  Kate looked back at Ben. He smiled at her and she took note that he really was a good-looking man, and with a great body too. Kate felt uncomfortable. She was staring and it suddenly occurred to her that she shouldn’t be admiring her boss’s son in that way, and she forced herself to make a conscious effort to appear engrossed in her books, while at the same time looking around the library in a desperate attempt to ignore her growing attraction to Ben.