Tell Me No Secrets

by Lynda Stacey

  ‘Get off me, Rob. Please. Leave me alone.’

  He did as she asked, dropped her hands and stood back. His hands rested on his hips and she saw him take in a deep and prolonged breath. He slowly shook his head, side to side. ‘That’s what it is.’ He smiled, shrugged his shoulders and stepped towards her. ‘I’m doing it wrong, aren’t I?’ He laughed, a long, evil laugh that made Kate begin to shake relentlessly within. ‘I’m not dancing right, am I, Kate?’ He grabbed at her shirt, tearing it in the process. Kate screamed. ‘You wanted to dance in the rain, didn’t you?’ He turned to look at the bath water. ‘And when you dance in the rain, baby, you get wet, don’t you?’

  Panic rose within her, but Rob was far stronger than she was and he dragged her effortlessly towards him. The next moment, he had put her in the bath and pushed her head under the water. She held her breath, her lungs began to burn, she was sure they would burst and she could feel Rob’s hands holding her down. Panic surrounded her every move, her hands grabbed at his hair, his face, and then the image of James came into her mind; her brother’s glazed, cold eyes stared back.

  And then she heard a noise. A bang, a shout, a loud noise that came from everywhere all at once and then her head emerged from beneath the water. Rob’s hands were gone, and she gulped at the air, trying to pull as much as she could into her lungs, but began to cough, choke, yet still attempted to pull in the air that didn’t want to go in.

  ‘It’s okay, it’s okay. He’s gone.’ Ben was there. His arms were around her and she felt relief, followed by hysteria, as she felt herself being lifted from the water.

  Chapter Thirty

  Ben’s voice woke Kate. She felt drowsy, confused and, for a moment, wondered where she was, and then she remembered.

  ‘How are you feeling?’ he asked, his hand brushing the hair away from her face, which for once wasn’t covered in her usual make-up. She didn’t care what she looked like. All she felt was a deep, overwhelming sadness. A disbelief that Rob would try to kill her and thankful that Ben had turned up when he had.

  ‘I’m all right. I could have done without the five hours we spent at the hospital last night, and the interview by the police, but other than that, they said that I’ll live.’

  ‘You need to eat,’ he said. ‘And on the menu today is a bacon sandwich. Would you like it up here, or downstairs?’ He smiled and walked back to the door. ‘Do you want coffee?’ he asked.

  ‘No, I’ll come down and, yes, please, thank you,’ she managed to say. ‘Coffee would be great.’ Her throat was sore, her arms and legs ached and she stretched her arms above her head, wincing with the pain.

  She walked around the bed, looking down at the borrowed pyjamas that hung loosely from her body. She remembered rolling the arms and legs up to allow her hands and feet to move easily, but now they’d unravelled and hung so long that at least a foot of material hung at the end of each arm. She waved them up and down and tried to laugh, but tears sprang into her eyes. She looked around for her bag, a small bag that had been hurriedly filled with a selection of her clothes, underwear, but strangely not pyjamas. She shook her head and looked at its contents, hardly the items she’d normally choose. But at a time of panic, it was amazing what had seemed like a priority and what had not.

  Trying to make the best of what she had with her, she dressed quickly. Her stomach rumbled and she went in search of the sandwich that Ben had tempted her with. His voice could be heard humming a tune and she padded her way down the stairs, along the hallway and toward the noise.

  ‘I just love your house,’ she managed to say as she entered the room. ‘Thank you for, you know, bringing me here.’

  Ben looked her up and down. ‘Coffee’s coming up and, technically, it’s a very small house. It just has just two bedrooms, but I use one as an office. I sold the big house after … after Julia died. It felt too big, and far too empty.’

  Kate nodded. ‘I’d have probably done the same.’ She tried to imagine how he’d felt about walking through the same rooms, and fully understood, especially after losing James and how she’d felt about taking his job.

  Ben’s house was modern, masculine and it suited him. He looked at home behind the counter and she smiled as he twisted the knobs on his coffee machine, which looked far too technical and she wondered if boiling a kettle would be easier.

  She thought about Rob, of what he’d done, and of how she wanted him out of her life. But now it seemed that he’d disappeared and she prayed that he’d never dare come back. It was a strange feeling, the end of an era and she didn’t know whether to be happy or sad that a part of her life was over. Her whole body felt bruised, on both the inside and the outside. She had a feeling of numbness, surrounded by an ache that wouldn’t go away.

  ‘Is fresh coffee okay? I don’t have instant,’ Ben suddenly said as he flashed a smile. He stood by the stove. His tracksuit bottoms hung from his waist and a tight, white T-shirt covered his chest. His arm muscles escaped the material and showed a polished shape that Kate hadn’t noticed before. It was the first time she’d ever seen him dressed so casually and she had to admit, it suited him.

  ‘That’d be lovely. Thanks.’ She inhaled deeply. ‘What smells so good?’

  He turned and stirred a pan. ‘Home-made chicken noodle soup,’ he announced proudly. ‘Mum always used to make it for me as a kid. It always seemed to make me better, when I didn’t feel very well.’ He paused before walking across the kitchen, and placing a cup of coffee before her. ‘After the few days that you’ve just had, I kind of thought you looked as though you might need some.’

  Kate sipped at the coffee, and slowly chewed at the bacon sandwich that Ben had prepared, swallowing with care. Her stomach growled and she hadn’t realised how hungry she was until she’d begun to eat, but her throat still hurt. ‘I’m sure food tastes better when someone else makes it for me.’ She began to laugh and then stopped suddenly, thinking of Rob cooking for her, as though that would make everything all right.

  Ben looked thoughtful. ‘I was worried about you last night. When I saw your text, I didn’t stop to reply. I just jumped in the car and drove. And then the panic alarm went off. I was terrified. I knew you wouldn’t have keyed the code for nothing and, well, I just burst in and ran up the stairs.’ He raised an eyebrow and exhaled. ‘What if I’d got there just a few moments later?’ He shook his head and then turned back toward the pan. It stood on a large cream Aga, which was set back in what looked like a brick chimney breast, but Kate knew that a chimney in a modern house was improbable. The kitchen was modern and pristine. Beams covered the ceiling and black granite worktops sparkled with a shine that stood out against the contemporary walnut cabinets. A mixture of old and new blended perfectly against the pure white walls.

  ‘Looks like your mum taught you well,’ she said as she picked at the bacon. ‘Smells like you’re a great cook.’

  ‘Sure I am.’ He smiled. ‘I always showed an interest as a kid and she was more than happy for me to help. Gave us some time together, if you know what I mean, and as a willing individual, I always got to eat the proceeds.’ He smiled again as he stole a small piece of bacon from her plate, then happily munched it, before turning around and stirring the soup once again. ‘Another twenty minutes and I’ll add the sweet corn and the noodles.’

  ‘What’s she like, your mum?’ Kate asked, genuinely interested. She knew his father and knew how much like him Ben was, but couldn’t ever remember Ben mentioning his mother before.

  Ben chuckled as he picked up the tea towel. ‘Are you serious?’

  ‘What did I say?’ she offered, holding her hands out as though waiting for an answer but once again Ben flashed her a smile and shook his head, before walking towards the door, chuckling as he went.

  ‘Kate Duggan, you are so naive. I’m just going to throw some proper clothes on.’ He left the room and headed up the stairs and towards his bedroom, the room she’d slept in the night before, and for the first time she wondered where h
e might have slept.

  She wandered from room to room. The kitchen made way to a dining area. A long oak table stretched before a four-panelled concertina glass window that took up a whole wall and gave way to views over the countryside. The house might be small, but everywhere she looked it screamed money, class and perfection. Nothing had been done by half and Ben’s personality showed in every minute detail.

  A noise behind her made her jump. She spun around to see Ben leaning against the doorway; his wide disarming smile lit up his face and took her by surprise. He wore a blue cotton shirt, with jeans that hugged him just a little too comfortably, making her eyes dwell for just a little too long on their contours.

  ‘You’re laughing at me. Why do you say I’m naive?’ she asked going back to his earlier comment.

  ‘Because I think you are,’ he replied, and then walked back to the kitchen and refilled his coffee. ‘Some days, I really can’t believe how clever you are and other days, how really naive you are.’

  Kate followed him, sulking. She crossed her arms and sat down on the stool. ‘Fine. Insult me, but I have no idea what I’ve said wrong.’

  ‘Kate, Gloria is my mum. I can’t believe you hadn’t worked that out.’ He chuckled again as Kate suddenly registered what he’d said.

  ‘Gloria?’ she asked in disbelief. ‘What, really, how come?’

  ‘Well, my mother and father, they met, fell in love and then I came along.’ He ducked as a napkin narrowly missed his head, landing just short of the chicken soup.

  ‘When you came to work for Parker and Son, Kate, did you just think it was me and Dad?’ Ben walked over to where she stood.

  ‘Of course, the name above the door indicates that, doesn’t it?’

  Again, Ben smiled. ‘No it doesn’t. It says Parker and Son. Gloria was the original private detective, and then I was born. Hence, Gloria Parker and Son. My dad, he was an accountant and still to this day tends to run the workload and the accounts at the office, albeit Mum did teach him the tricks of the trade and he became a really good detective. She taught me a lot of what I know too.’ His hand reached out, toward her face, but stopped just short of touching her.

  Kate was a little shocked but amused. It was true, she had presumed that the name was directed at William and Ben. William had been there on her first day, he’d spoken to her with authority and Gloria had appeared to be far too lovely to be the boss’s wife. There had been no airs and graces, no attitude and definitely no acting like she owned the place.

  She looked towards Ben’s hand, knowing that once again he’d almost touched her face. She took in a deep breath and stared up and into his eyes.

  ‘Kate …’

  ‘It … it kind of makes a lot of sense, about Gloria, now that you’ve said,’ she murmured, changing the subject and jumping down from the stool. She was nervous of what he would say next and looked toward the door. She shuffled from foot to foot.

  Ben stepped forward. ‘Kate …?’ he said again as he pulled her into his arms. His hand lifted to stroke the side of her face. Her breath quickened as her senses took over her mind. Ben’s hand cupped her chin. Her feelings intensified and the tension rose in her stomach. She felt sixteen again. Eager to be held, yet petrified of what would come next. She felt the heat from his lips as they travelled just millimetres above hers. She breathed in deeply; the musky aroma of his aftershave surrounded her senses.

  ‘Ben, please, don’t … don’t pity me,’ she said, lifting her face toward his. Her eyes now looked directly into his.

  Ben’s eyes gleamed at her like volcanic rock and she felt him inhale. Then slowly, as though he understood her dilemma, he traced the scar with his finger. ‘I don’t pity you. You are so beautiful,’ he whispered as he pressed his lips gently to hers. The mere graze of his lips sent shock waves through her entire body. Sensing Kate’s mood, Ben began to move slowly but rhythmically, his lips travelling passionately over hers, leaving her mouth burning with desire.

  But then, the heat was gone. Ben had stepped back and Kate could see him taking deep, deliberate breaths.

  ‘What … What’s wrong?’ she asked tentatively, unsure she wanted to hear the answer.

  Ben smiled. ‘Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. I just …’ He closed his eyes, just for a moment. ‘It’s not the right time and I promised myself that I’d wait until it was. You, you don’t need this, not after last night.’ He paused, walked over to the soup and stirred it again. ‘Do you know what? My timing sucks.’ He laughed. ‘I really wanted to court you, take you out, send you flowers. And I was waiting for the right time. Waiting until you were free, but then after last night, after I almost lost you.’ He shook his head. ‘It keeps going round in my mind. What if I’d got there just one minute later?’

  ‘Have you heard anything from the police? Have they caught him?’

  Ben looked concerned. ‘No. I dragged him off you, and he ran. Sorry. I was more concerned about getting to you than I was about catching him.’

  ‘So, he’s still out there.’

  Ben climbed into the shower while Kate slept. He turned the power up as high as he could. The water was cold and pummelling, making him take deep breaths, as he allowed the water to fall on his face like the torrents of a waterfall, crashing upon him where he stood.

  He wanted Kate so much and the thought that they’d just kissed, with so much promise of passion, had aroused him in a way that he hadn’t known for years. He leaned back against the tiles.

  ‘Fool,’ he whispered, clenching his fists. ‘You did it all wrong.’ He’d thought of kissing her the first moment he’d seen her, sitting in the reception at the office. He knew she’d been unnerved by his actions and he also knew how much courage it would have taken to sit there so calmly, especially when he’d purposely led her to believe that he was the boss. After all, she had just wound her window down and called him a moron. Which can’t have been the best start, but the fact she’d sat there, without flinching, showed him that she was tough. It showed she had character and he’d immediately admired her integrity.

  And here he was, in the shower, trying to calm his arousal, after one single kiss. He asked himself why he’d done it, but he knew why. She was witty, funny, feisty and caring, along with being vulnerable and naive. She had so many qualities and insecurities, they would be impossible to count. But all of that put together was what made her so very special. He wanted to fall into those big doe eyes as they’d looked up at him. He wanted to create a world from which she’d never want to leave.

  He jumped out of the shower, grabbed a towel and quickly dried himself. It was time to move on, to move forward with his life and he hoped that he knew exactly how to do it.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Eve took in a deep breath and used every muscle she had to pull herself up to stand at the kitchen unit. The one thing about being paralysed below the waist was that the upper body got used to taking the burden and she could easily use her hands on the units to take her weight. Her legs were weak and trembled uncontrollably as she concentrated on standing. She loved the days when she knew that there would be no interruptions, the days when she could work on her physiotherapy and the days when she knew that the effort would help strengthen her legs.

  Mother had returned to York with their father, who’d arrived out of the blue that morning to collect her. As she left she said something about Kate not wanting her and that she was sure that Eve hadn’t wanted her either. Then she had gone, just like that, no mention of Father being a bully or a sociopath, and certainly no mention of a divorce.

  Eve had tried to look sad, but inside she’d been jumping for joy. The thought of Mother living with her had been a nightmare and she’d dreaded the idea that her physiotherapy would have been brought to a halt, knowing how much work it would take afterwards to get back to where she’d previously been.

  Looking down at her feet, Eve prayed for them to move. She concentrated as hard as she could and felt overjoyed when she saw the smallest o
f movements. She’d painstakingly taught herself to stand over the past year, and knew now that all she had to do was build up her strength and spend days working her muscles.

  Eve sat back down in her chair, closed her eyes and thought of the call she’d had from Ben the night before. He’d been at the hospital with Kate and had explained what had happened. Kate had asked that she did not tell anyone – especially their parents. Fury overtook Eve; she needed to be strong, needed to be capable and, if necessary, she needed to help her sister, not be a burden to her. She looked up to the ceiling and prayed.

  ‘God, if you give me back my ability to walk, I will be the best sister that Kate has ever wished for. I’ll help her, look after her and make sure that no one ever hurts her again.’ She looked down at Max and ruffled his fur. ‘Won’t we, Max?’ She patted her knee.

  ‘Come on then,’ she encouraged as Max put his front paws up onto her lap. ‘Oh, and God, if you’re still listening, I’ll take better care of Max too. I’ll groom him myself and walk him myself rather than wait for Zoe to get here.’

  Max nuzzled her lap and then jumped up on the settee, lying down ready to snooze.

  ‘Oh, no you don’t. Get down. Not today,’ she said to the dog that looked up at her with big, dark, sad eyes. ‘Eric’s coming later. Oh yes. You like Eric, don’t you, Max?’

  Eric would be picking her up in a few hours and she wheeled herself through to the bedroom and opened her wardrobe, searching for something to wear, something to give her the edge. She wanted to look good, sexy even and chose a pair of jeans and a skinny T-shirt that casually hung from one shoulder.

  ‘Would this be the outfit to turn his head?’ Eve held the top up to Max, who’d followed her into the bedroom and now lay on the bed, where he continued to snooze. She knew that Eric liked her. He’d kissed her but that was as far as it had gone and for once she needed him to look at her in a different way, not just as a friend.