The car rocked back and forth, and Emily had no doubt they had the manpower to turn it on its side.
A deep male voice penetrated the air through a loudspeaker, warning the mob they needed to disperse or be forced. When nothing changed, and Ryan was unable to continue forward, the guards dispensed teargas into the crowd.
The air was instantly foggy, and the protesters were forced to back away from the gate, their eyes burning.
Someone tapped on the window next to Ryan, but the moment Emily glanced toward the noise she screamed. All she saw in that first instance was the barrel of a gun. Her mind raced back to yesterday’s events, making it impossible to rationalize that the man holding the gun was on her team.
His navy uniform should have been her first clue, but instead she hyperventilated, not getting enough oxygen. Ryan grabbed her hand as he nodded toward the guard who must have communicated some instructions with hand signals.
As Ryan continued forward slowly, she noticed six armed guards leading them toward the gate, guns lifted. The gate opened, letting the vehicle enter. When Emily twisted her neck to look out the rear window, she found a dozen guards shoving the gate closed while somehow managing to keep the protesters out.
“Breathe, baby.”
She jerked her gaze to find Ryan’s brow furrowed in concern.
“Breathe,” he repeated.
She inhaled deeply and let it out. Holy shit. A shudder wracked her body as she considered the overall feel of the mob yards away. They weren’t just angry; they were out of their minds. This wasn’t some sort of peaceful protest; they wanted blood.
“Okay?” Ryan asked.
She nodded, swallowing her fear and facing forward. “Keep going.”
Minutes later, Ryan parked the car at the bunker and rounded the hood to help Emily out. He leaned her against the side of the car and set his hands on her shoulders. “You’re so pale.”
“I’ll be okay. I just need some water.” As if water would erase the visual.
His concern was palpable, his eyes drawn together, his gaze darting around her face. “Let’s get you inside.”
An hour later, Emily had finally convinced Ryan she was fine and nearly shoved him out of his suite to go check on his father. As soon as he was gone, she washed her face, brushed her teeth, and changed clothes. She was still shaking when she left the room, but she was determined to pull her shit together.
Her first mission was to find Blair, whom she easily located in one of the exam rooms with Michelle.
Blair’s face lit up when she spotted Emily in the doorway. “Hey, come on in.”
“How’s your arm?” Emily winced as she saw the wound Michelle was examining.
Blair waved her free hand through the air, dismissing her injury entirely. “Nothing to worry about. Michelle is just changing the bandage.”
“You went to the hospital, right?”
Blair nodded. “Yep. Bullet removed. Clean shot. Flesh wound only. Didn’t hit a bone or anything important. I was lucky.”
Michelle sent Emily a glance. “I don’t know about you, but no way would I be so sunny after getting shot.”
“Yeah. I technically served my time in the military myself, but I was never in a situation that put me in danger.”
“You science types,” Blair teased. “Always getting out of combat just to save the rest of us.”
Michelle pulled up a chair and pointed at it. “Sit. You’re shaking.”
Blair’s face sobered. “You okay?”
Emily shrugged. “You know, the usual. Kidnapping, riding in the trunk of a car, getting shot at, and then escaping only to find out there are hordes of people who would love to see me dead gathered anywhere they think I might be to shove their threats in my face. What did you guys do today?” she joked dryly.
Michelle shut the door to the room and pulled a chair up next to Emily. “You probably need to talk to someone.”
Emily sat up straighter and forced a smile. “I’m talking to the two of you now.”
“I’m not a psychiatrist,” Michelle pointed out.
“I don’t need counseling. I need a new identity.”
Blair flinched. “You’re thinking about taking Temple up on that plan?”
Emily was slightly surprised other people knew what Temple had offered, but then again, the bunker wasn’t that large. Word would spread around. It wasn’t a secret that the offer was on the table. She shrugged again. “Maybe I should.”
“What does Ryan think?” Blair asked.
“Haven’t told him.”
Blair cringed.
Emily sighed, lowering her gaze to her lap. “Every day it will get harder. People are lined up at the gate with nothing but bad intentions toward me.”
Michelle reached for Emily’s hand. “I don’t think you should make hasty decisions. You’ve only been reanimated a few weeks.”
“It’s been more than a month, and everyone knows the crowd outside is only going to grow as long as I’m inside this bunker. It’s costing the government money to provide enough security for everyone.” Not to mention the toll it’s going to take on my sanity.
“You’re not the only one they will be lined up for. As soon as others are revived, you’ll have to share that burden,” she pointed out.
Emily shook her head. “I can’t do it anymore. Temple offered to give me a new identity. I think I should take her up on it. I’ll cut my hair and dye it. I’ll enroll in medical school someplace. Maybe California. Someplace large where I can blend in and no one will know who I am.”
“That would cut you off from your family too. Have you considered that?” Blair asked.
Emily took a deep breath. “Yes. But they deserve to go on with their lives too. Their house is also surrounded by reporters. They’ve been unable to work or shop or even go for a walk since I returned to their lives. It’s putting a burden on them they didn’t ask for. If I disappear, the reporters and protesters will eventually grow tired of waiting and go away.” She needed to call her mom and dad. Explain her situation. They would be very sad to hear about her decision.
Michelle sighed. “You can’t expect me to believe your parents agree with this plan. I’m sure they love you and are so glad to have you back that they don’t mind the inconvenience.”
Emily shrugged.
“You haven’t told them either.”
Emily didn’t move.
“You haven’t told anyone. You’re planning to disappear without Ryan, aren’t you?” Blair asked.
“It’s for the best.”
“It’s a cop-out.” Blair’s voice rose.
Emily met her gaze. “It’s my choice.”
Blair sighed. “You should think about it for a few days before you act rashly. You’ve been through a lot. You need to see a counselor to handle everything that’s happened. Hell, it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours since you were rescued from a kidnapper.”
“And that’s precisely why I need to disappear. It took a lot of manpower and resources to find me yesterday. People could have been killed. You were shot.”
“I’m fine. It was a graze.”
“That’s not the point. What if someone had been killed protecting me?” She sat up straighter. “There could be dozens of people like Bazil out there. I’m a ticking time bomb. Somebody is selling my information to anyone willing to buy it.”
Michelle winced. “Yeah, we heard about that.”
“Someone is making money off this. There could be others.” Emily didn’t think this nightmare had any other ending besides her disappearing.
Blair shook her head. “Not likely. The guy who was selling your information did some damage, but then he was arrested, and there’s been no indication anyone else has attempted to do the same thing.”
“And Bazil? What about him?”
“His story matches what he told you. He bought your details, and he really does have a daughter he wanted to reanimate. He’s owned that house for more than thirty years.
It was simply a twist of fate that he happened to live right near this bunker.”
Emily didn’t know how to process that.
Blair continued. “It was a fluke, Emily. There can’t possibly be other people living in this area who have a reason to kidnap you.”
“Except all those people parked outside the gate who think I’m an abomination or would love to sink their teeth into the hottest story of the decade.”
Blair shook her head. “It’s over. You’re safe here. You have to believe that. Don’t let your fear cause you to make rash decisions. I saw the way Ryan looks at you. He’ll lose his shit if he thinks you’re pondering this idea behind his back.”
Emily inhaled slowly. “Temple offered to find a way for him to go with me, but I don’t like it. He has a life here. His parents are here. He hasn’t seen them in a decade. He would regret it for the rest of his life if he left because of me.
“As long as I maintain this identity, I’m trapped. I won’t take the risk of going out in public again. If anything happened to anyone protecting me, or Ryan, or even an innocent bystander because I was too greedy to go into hiding, the guilt would eat me alive.”
Michelle sighed, leaning back, her shoulders dropping. “I’m not fond of this plan. I’d rather you stayed here. You love medicine. It’s your life. I can already tell you will catch up in no time and be right back in the groove. There’s no need to run. Give it time.”
“We don’t have time. Every day I wait puts more people in danger.”
Michelle shook her head. “Emily, you’re the first person to be brought back. In the next few months the cost of controlling this situation is going to go up exponentially. Your slice of the pie isn’t even going to be visible when all is said and done.”
“Maybe.” But Emily couldn’t see it that way. Her name was out there for the entire world now. There was no way to know how many people wanted her dead or would use her to extort money from the government. “Please don’t mention this to anyone.”
“Promise us you won’t vanish without telling Ryan,” Blair said.
Emily nodded. “Okay.”
Michelle smiled. “I knew you were stubborn before I even met you. It’s how Ryan was able to finish your work and come up with a cure. You burned your candle at both ends for months while you knew you were slowly dying of AP12. You’re the one who provided enough data to make your own reanimation possible. Stubborn woman.”
Emily nodded. “Well, at least that part of my personality is still intact. I was starting to wonder if any of me was the same.”
Michelle leaned forward. “I’m sure all of you is the same, Emily. Don’t doubt that. You just have new shades. Crossing paths with death will do that to anyone. It’s made you feel deeper. Think differently. View the world through new eyes. Love harder.”
Emily nodded, tears running down her cheeks. “All of that hurts more too.”
“I’m sure it does. You were so wrapped up in your research before that you weren’t living life.”
“My research was my life. It was important.”
Michelle nodded. “It was. You’re not wrong. You saved millions of lives. I don’t doubt that. But that goal was met, and now you deserve to sit back and live again. You have a second chance at life. Don’t throw it away.”
“I’m not throwing it away. I’m taking the opportunity to reinvent myself.”
Blair jumped down from the examination table and pulled Emily into a hug. “Talk to Ryan.”
The knock on the door to Emily’s suite that evening was not unexpected. She was prepared to face Ryan, but she’d also needed some time to herself.
He was frowning when she opened the door. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I didn’t expect you to be in your own suite.”
She opened the door wider. “I needed some time alone. I was exhausted.”
He stepped inside, sliding his hand into hers as he shut the door behind him. “You could have slept in our room. I would have left you alone. I’ve been in the lab most of the day anyway.”
“How’s your dad?” she asked to change the subject.
Ryan’s eyes were drawn together in concern she was certain he felt for her instead of his father. “Everything is still on schedule.” He cocked his head. “What’s bothering you?”
She looked away. “Nothing. Everything. It’s just been stressful. I’m still acclimating to life while dealing with death threats and kidnappings and reporters. I’m tired.” She let her shoulders droop.
Ryan pulled her closer into his embrace. “It’s more than that,” he told the top of her head. “You’re withdrawn. Talk to me.”
“I’m fine,” she told his chest. “Seriously. Don’t worry about me. You have more important things happening in your life.”
He slid his hands to her face and tipped it back, forcing her to meet his gaze. “You’re wrong. I might have agreed with you a month ago or last week or even yesterday morning. But not anymore. You are the most important thing in my life.”
She winced. It wasn’t true, and he would see that as soon as his father woke up. He would get involved in his recovery and then that of his mother and move on. She would only be in the way.
Ryan’s eyes narrowed as he released a weary sigh. “You don’t believe me.”
“I do.” I believe you think that now.
“I’ve worked my ass off for ten years to get to this point. I had one single goal in my head every day and every night for a decade. I haven’t slept more than a few hours a night for all those years. My focus was singular.”
She nodded. He was proving her point.
“But this is not what my parents wanted for me. My mother’s last words were to encourage me to live my life. Enjoy this world. Find love. And she was right. Maybe I wasn’t open to finding someone before I met you. Maybe it seems too convenient that I fell for the first woman to cross my path at the exact moment I accomplished my life’s goal. Maybe you feel like it can’t be real because you were my life’s goal.
“But, baby, it’s deeper than that. I don’t see you as someone who accidentally happened to step into my path at a point when I was finally available and open to love. I see you as the exact right person fate handed me at the moment I was ready to receive this gift.”
She felt the tears well up again.
He gripped her face harder. “This isn’t some passing lust. I’m in love with you. And I’ll tell you every hour of every day until you believe me.”
“I believe you,” she whispered. I just don’t think it’s enough.
He frowned. “I know you love me too. I can see it in your eyes. In your smile. The way you lose yourself when you come undone beneath me. The way you cling to me in the dead of night. The way your body melts when I touch you.
“I can also see you at war with yourself, fighting a battle that doesn’t need to be fought. I know you have a lot of choices to make and it’s stressful rejoining the world, but let me help you. Let me walk by your side as you figure things out. Let me be there when it hurts and when it feels good and when you need a hug and when you need to scream or cry or stomp or throw things. Let me be there to love you.”
She couldn’t speak over the emotion welling up in her throat.
He kept talking. “We talked about this last night. I thought we were on the same page. Your face tells me you’ve had a change of heart. Talk to me.”
She stared into his eyes, melting. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She needed to pack up her few belongings, take a new identity, and let him get on with his life. She would hold him back. He would always feel like he needed to stay hidden with her. And if she kept her identity, she would always be hidden.
He groaned, rolling his head back to glance at the ceiling.
She was confused.
And then he backed her up, shoving her hard against the door.
She was shocked, but then she looked into his eyes and wasn’t sure what she was seeing. Something new. Something wild and a little
scary.
He held her face and kissed her. No, he didn’t just kiss her, he slammed his mouth over hers and devoured her. His tongue teased the seam of her lips briefly and then dipped inside to tangle with hers.
His fingers dug into her hair, holding her head right where he wanted it.
He’d never been this aggressive. It was hot. She was wet and needy in an instant.
When she planted her hands on his chest, he released her head to grab them both, hauling them over her head and plastering them to the door.
She moaned. Holy hell. What was he doing?
He pressed his body firmly against hers, the thick length of him obvious against her stomach.
Her mind spun, her thoughts a jumbled mess as he moved so quickly. His position changed rapidly. The next thing she knew, both her wrists were in one of his hands, his free hand was under her shirt, cupping a breast, and he insinuated a knee between her legs.
She lost all thought, every ounce of concentration heading to her sex.
He pinched her nipple through the lace of her bra and then dragged the silk over the tip, yanking the cup down so her breast popped free. He was desperate. Insatiable.
And it felt so damn good.
Every sexual experience between them had been slower so far, more calculated, polite. This… This was steaming. Something awoke in her she never knew was dormant. No man had ever handled her like this before.
His mouth trailed from her lips to her ear, nibbling a path while she gasped for oxygen. She tipped her head to one side to give him better access, and then his teeth bit down on her earlobe enough to sting.
She rose onto her toes, loving the bite. The rush. The need. She was going to come against his knee, still wearing her jeans.
After jerking her shirt over her head so fast she hardly registered the momentary loss of contact, he was back, one hand around her wrists again, the other gripping her breast, squeezing.
“Ryan,” she cried out.
He ignored her and dipped his mouth to suck her nipple in between his lips. His teeth teased the tip. Deliciously. Seductively. And while he flicked his tongue over her distended nipple rapidly, he lowered his hand to cup her sex, gripping her so hard he nearly lifted her off the floor.
Reviving Emily: Project DEEP, Book One Page 20