The sound of her moans finish me off, causing a mind blowing orgasm that pummels me. Fuck, I can tell she works every day with those strong hands of hers. Sweet Jesus, I think I’m dying.
We lie still for a while. She just dragged me into her tangled web a little more, and it’s definitely a tangled web. I can’t give her up. I won’t. She slips away from me and goes to the bathroom. I use the opportunity to clean myself off and pull the blankets back.
She comes out, and I go right to her, pulling her into my arms. “You’re making me feel crazy things,” I say.
“I’m feeling the same about you, Ian. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” She’s upset, and I wish there was a way I could make things easier for her.
“Please stay here tonight. Let me hold you. I’ve never had a woman stay with me to sleep, but I want you to. I need to feel your skin against mine.”
“OK.”
I lead her over to the bed. She scoots back against me, and it’s this moment when I realize I want Brynlee in my bed every night.
Brynlee
I wake up in Ian’s arms and attempt to move away. He grunts and pulls me back against him.
“No,” he manages to get out with a groan. I glance to his alarm clock. Shit. It’s seven. “Ian, I’m sorry, but I need you to take me home, so I can get ready for work.” He opens his eyes before he rubs them. I’m scrambling around for my clothes.
“Why don’t you take a day off? You’re obviously needing the sleep.”
“I can’t. It’s Friday. I have to bake everything for the weekend, and now I’m already behind.”
He sighs. “Let me throw on some clothes.”
We get in the car, and I grab Ian’s hand.
“I’m sorry if I sounded short with you. I have a ton of responsibility that is one hundred percent on me until I can hire some help.”
“Why don’t you?”
“I’m not bringing in quite enough to pay someone else. I’m hoping soon.” I hear my phone ringing in my bag, so I grab it and hit the button without thinking.
“Bryn, are you OK?” Drew asks, sounding frantic.
“Yes, I’m fine. I’m just running late. I’ll be in later.”
“I’ll come get you. You don’t need to be stuck here late tonight. You’re getting too run down.”
I imagine Ian can hear him. He’s talking so damn loud. “I’m fine, Drew.”
“Too bad. I’m already on my way.”
“I have to go,” I say with frustration before I end the call. I rub my forehead. “Sorry, Ian.”
“I heard him. It’s not your fault. I have to accept you’re going to see him all day when you’re at work, anyway.”
I watch him clamp the steering wheel. His knuckles are turning white, and it takes everything in me not to cry.
“Yeah, well, he’s going to beat us to the apartment, and he’s not going to be as understanding about this,” I say.
“I don’t see where he has a choice. Do you want me to stay in case he gets angry and leaves? You’ll need a ride.”
“That will definitely make it worse.”
I’m not going to be able to do this for much longer. I say I’m going to have control, and I end up being the one begging them not to stop. Then I let them convince me to stay over.
Drew’s going to be hurt, and I feel terrible for it. We’re both quiet the rest of the way until he pulls up in front of my apartment building. I think I’m going to throw up.
“I had a great time last night, Brynlee,” he says before he kisses my hand.
“I did, too. Thank you for being understanding.”
“Can you spend some time with me tomorrow or Sunday?” he asks.
“Yes, but can I text you later? I’m going to have to see if I’ll need to work tomorrow.”
“Sure.” He leans over and kisses my lips softly before I get out.
I spot Drew’s car, so I take a deep breath before I enter my building. He’s sitting in front of my door with his knees up. His head is resting on his arms.
“Drew.”
He looks up at me but doesn’t speak.
“You can leave if you’re mad.” My eyes are filling with tears.
“Just get ready,” he says. I hear the disappointment in his voice.
I go in and take a quick shower, tears falling with the water. I get ready in record time, and when I walk out of my bedroom, he’s sitting on my couch with his head resting on his arms once again.
I stand in front of him, my fingers travelling through his thick, dark hair. He reaches up and grabs my hand before pulling it down and holding it firmly. His head tilts up, and I see his pain.
“Did you sleep with him? Is it over?”
“No, Drew,” I say with frustration.
“I’m sorry. It’s hard for it to register with me that Ian’s treating you different than the other women he’s been with. I’m terrified he’ll push you into it.”
“I told him I’m not having sex until I commit to one of you. He asked me to stay over like you did the other night. I didn’t expect you to be here this morning. Hurting you is the last thing I want to do.”
The tears start falling again. He stands and pulls me into his arms. “Shhh, it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have driven over, but Bryn …”
“Yeah.” I manage to choke out the word between cries.
“I’m sorry, sugar, but I don’t know if I can share you much longer. It’s breaking my heart.”
I clench my eyes shut tighter, wishing it would lessen the pain or stop the tears but it doesn’t. All three of us are hurting, and it will only get worse.
I Don’t Know if I Can Share
Drew
The stabbing pain I felt when I realized Bryn had stayed at Ian’s is unmeasurable when compared to the pain I’ll feel if I have to let her go. A wave of nausea washes over me when I think of her being in his bed.
It’s Friday afternoon, and I haven’t spoken to her since we left her apartment this morning. We’ve been busy today, so I’ve been working the counter. My dad yells for me to come into the office.
“Shut the door, Drew. We need to talk.” I do as he says. “What’s going on? I’ve never seen you this depressed. It’s not good for business, but most importantly, I’m worried about you.”
“It’s Bryn.”
“Is she still deciding, or are you upset because she chose Ian?”
“She hasn’t made a decision. I don’t want to discuss it with you because I never want you to think badly of her.”
“I know how special Bryn is. No matter what she decides, I won’t think less of her.”
“I don’t know if I can share her any longer.”
“You should’ve made her yours when you had the chance. You didn’t, so all you can do is either suck it up and play the game or quit. I remember how driven Ian was when you were younger, so I doubt he’ll give up until she tells him to.”
“I wonder if I should let her go and see what happens.”
“Like you waited to see what would happen the last two years? She might choose you, knowing you love her too much to share her with him another day. Or, she might think you don’t love her enough to fight for her.”
He’s not helping me a damn bit.
“Thanks, Dad,” I say sarcastically. “Your advice doesn’t help since I don’t know what’s going through her head.”
“Drew, you know her better than any other person on this earth. Only you can decide what to do, but I think you’re a fool if you let her go without a bigger fight.”
“I have to get out of here.” I get up without another word and leave the coffee shop. I feel as if I’m bleeding anger, and I don’t know what to do with it.
Brynlee
Drew hasn’t spoken to me all day, and I’m not surprised. I hear the door swing open and see that it’s Mr. Clark.
“Hi, Mike.”
“Hi, Bryn. Busy day?”
“Yes, but I got everything finished, so there
should be plenty of stock for the weekend.”
“Listen, I um … I know what’s going on with Drew and Ian.”
Can I crawl under this work table?
“That’s embarrassing.”
“I’m not trying to discuss it with you. What I want to say is Debbie, Drew, Marissa and I think the world of you. You’re family. No matter what happens, you are always welcome here. If you decide to be with Ian, don’t think you can’t keep doing your work here.”
“It’s hard to believe Drew would be that understanding but thank you. I could never repay you for all the help you’ve given me.”
“You’ve been like another daughter, Bryn, and you don’t owe us anything. I’ll be disappointed if you leave because you’re not with Drew. He’ll stay your friend no matter what.”
“I’m not so sure about that. I think it would hurt him too much.”
“I believe he never told you how he felt because he didn’t want to lose you as a friend. He thought for sure you’d pack up and leave if you didn’t feel the same.” Mike scratches his head. “Crap. I promise I didn’t come in here to plead a case for him, but I guess I kinda did.”
“It’s OK. He’s your son, so I’d expect as much.”
Mike hugs me. He’s been the dad I never had.
“I also wanted to tell you he already left for the day. He’s not trying to be mean, but he’s struggling with this like I’m sure you are.”
“OK, thanks for talking to me.”
Mike gives me a sympathetic look before he leaves the kitchen. I have to text Drew.
Me: I missed telling you goodbye. Do you want to spend time with me this weekend? I understand if you don’t. It’s not what I want to hear, but I get it if this is too much for you.
Drew: Can I see you tomorrow? I need to be alone tonight.
Me: Sure. I need to see Gram. You can go with me, or I can see you after.
Drew: I’d like to go. Pick you up at noon?
Me: OK. I can’t say the words you need to hear, but it doesn’t mean I won’t. I hope you won’t give up on me.
Drew: I’ll never give up on you, Bryn, but I don’t know how long I can deal with you being in his bed while I wait to see if there’s an ‘us.’
Me: That was a really shitty thing to say. You sure didn’t think I was doing anything wrong when I stayed the night with you. It’s probably best we don’t spend tomorrow together.
Drew: I’m sorry. This is why I didn’t want to talk to you today. I’m too angry at him and this situation. Please let me see you tomorrow. I’ll do better.
Me: Fine. See you at noon.
This is a complete nightmare. I decide I might as well get it over with and text Ian, too. What’s a little more stress?
Me: Hi, can we spend Sunday together?
Ian: I can’t wait.
Me: Do you run?
Ian: Yep. Is it a race?
Me: Hmm … OK. What’s your wager?
Ian: If you win, I’ll take a cooking class from you. If I win, well, I get to have some fun with you and the ingredients.
Me: Um, it’s getting toasty in here. Too bad you’ll be sporting an apron. Will noon work?
Ian: Oh, my confident, sweet girl. We shall see. I’ll see you then.
Don’t Tell Me I Have to Stop
Drew
I’m trying to psych myself into a better mood as I drive to Bryn’s. After hours of thinking last night, I decided that I have to keep it together if I want to be with her. I’m going to show her today that I can still enjoy our time together. I’ll lose her as a friend, too, if I don’t.
Damn, she’s wearing the tiniest, denim shorts with a white tank top. Summertime is brutal around Brynlee, seeing more of her skin. I’ll never forget that first summer when she’d show up at the bakery in little shorts and tops.
With her apron on, it would appear there was nothing behind it. I’d imagine pulling the strings and taking it off her naked body.
“Hi,” she says with a kiss on the cheek.
I slide my hand behind her neck and pull her to me before I give her a hard kiss. She gives it back with the same intensity, and I feel her hand slide over my thigh. It’s going to be an awesome day.
“Wow,” she says when I let her lips go.
I lean my forehead against hers and run my thumb across her bottom lip. “I’m sorry about yesterday, and I’ve missed you,” I say.
“I missed you, too.”
I sit back up and pull out onto the street. When I peer over, she’s blushing, and I can’t help but smile with satisfaction. Bryn talks about work until we get to the nursing home.
“Hi, Gram. What’s wrong?” Bryn asks since her grandmother is in bed.
“Hi, dear. I’m not feeling well today.”
“I see that. You’re usually up and dressed. Did you eat lunch?”
“No, precious. I don’t feel like eating today.”
I sit in a chair and let them have their space. I hate when Gram is feeling bad. It weighs on Bryn.
“I’m going to go talk to the nurse,” she says before leaving the room.
“I’m glad to see you here with my little girl.” Her voice is weak, and her eyes are not as bright today.
“I don’t miss a chance to see you.”
“She’s going to need you even more once I’m gone.”
“You’re not going anywhere, Gram. Where do you think Bryn gets her toughness from?”
She gives me a faint smile. “Don’t get old. It stinks, and I mean it. Please take care of her, Drew.” She looks at me very serious.
“I’ll be there for Brynlee as long as she lets me.”
She smiles again as Bryn comes back into the room.
“Gram, they’re going to bring you some fluids and something light to eat. Please drink a lot for me, OK?”
“Yes, dear.” Bryn pulls her grandmother’s hand up and places Gram’s palm against her cheek. Shit, something’s wrong. I know that look, and Bryn’s holding back tears. After twenty minutes or so of visiting, she glances my way and then back to her grandmother.
“We’re going to go so you can rest. The nurse says you need it. I love you, Gram.”
“I love you, dear. You’ll always be my precious. You take care of that man over there. He needs you as much as you need him.”
That did it. Tears start running down Bryn’s cheeks. She lays Gram’s hand on the bed and signals at me for us to leave.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Bryn rests her elbow on the window seal of the car door and bites on one of her fingernails from that hand. She stares out the side window. If she looks at me, she’ll cry. I know all her little habits as much as she knows mine.
“Gram has a severe urinary tract infection. She hasn’t been responding to the antibiotics. They said it’s serious at her age.”
I take her hand and lace our fingers.
“I’m sorry.”
“Let’s go. I’m going to cry if we talk about it, and I feel as if that’s all I do anymore.” She drops her elbow from the door and turns to me. “I want us to have a fun day together.”
I get a lot of my strength from the support of my family. I don’t know where Bryn pulls hers from. I like to think I help a little.
“Sugar, what do you want to do today?”
She grins at me. “You’re not old enough to be my sugar daddy.”
“Good thing. I’d like my dick to work if I ever get to use it on you.”
“Drew! I can’t believe you just said that.” I begin laughing loudly as she gawks at me with huge eyes. “What do you mean ‘use it on me’? What’s your plan … to slap me with it?”
Now she’s giggling. We both laugh until our eyes are watery. I finally get it together enough to speak. “Do you want to go to Multnomah Falls? I want to remedy the unspeakable fact that you haven’t been there. We can hike to the top.”
“I’d like that,” she says enthusiastically. “I’ve hardly had time to run lately, so a
hike would be good.”
She looks in deep thought on the way.
“Are you OK over there?” I ask.
“I want to talk to you about a couple of things. First, I’ve decided that we need to have restraint on the affection we show each other. I’m telling Ian the same thing.”
I sigh loudly. That’s disappointing, except for the Ian part.
“The guilt of dating both of you at the same time is bad enough, but seeing the hurt on your face yesterday, when you knew I’d stayed over at Ian’s, broke my heart and made me feel even worse. So, besides holding hands, hugging and kissing, we need to hold off.”
“OK. I understand. What else?”
“I want to ask you something since you said I could talk to you about Ian, but I don’t want to mess up our day.”
I take in a long breath. The last thing I want to do is talk about him, but I’m her friend first.
“I told you it was OK. What is it?”
“He wants me to meet his family.”
“Already?”
“That’s what I thought, but then he made a good point. I know your parents. He feels I should see what I think of his before I make a decision.”
“I guess that makes sense. He really cares about you. As far as I know, he’s never taken a girl home.”
“What are they like?”
“They’re not like us, Bryn, but as long as they give you a chance, then they’ll fall in love with you like everyone else.”
“Not everyone feels that way about me, Drew. I’m not perfect, and I know I’m nothing like them.”
“Look, just know that if for some reason they make you feel inadequate, it has nothing to do with you. None of them have had to struggle. They work hard, but they can’t relate to those who don’t have their kind of wealth.
“I haven’t seen them in a long time, so maybe things have changed. You’ll be fine, Brynlee. What matters is how Ian treats you. He’s obviously proud of who you are if he’s taking you there.”
“I’m nervous to go.”
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