He smiled faintly. “Once. Now it is only something we say.” He glanced around the narrow hallway where they stood as if seeing it through a stranger’s eyes. “This is not grand, but I hope that you will find it comfortable.”
Elise followed suit. If by grand he meant large, then that was certainly accurate. On the other hand, the hallway alone was as much space as she’d had for her private use so it looked pretty roomy to her and from where she stood she could see several comfortable sized rooms opening off of it. If he meant rich, then that was true also, but neither was it mean or dirty or ugly or utilitarian as the habitat was, no matter how much effort they put into trying to make it feel and look like ‘home’. “It’s lovely.”
He nodded.
She placed a hand on his arm. “I mean that. It is a lovely place. Was it like this when you came to live here? Or did you do all of this yourself?”
He seemed to relax. “I like these colors.”
“I do, too,” she said sincerely, glancing around again at the vivid blues and greens that covered the walls that she could see.
He seemed pleased. “I had thought---never mind.”
Elise frowned. “What?”
“I have only myself to please,” he said finally, his voice flat and unwelcoming. “If you are tired, I will show you your room.”
She was tired, she realized. She’d just been too tense since they’d left the ship in the woods to realize it. “Yes, please.”
Nodding, he guided her toward the rear of the hallway and opened the last door. Elise moved to the doorway and peered in. The walls were colored in the same vivid blues and greens as the hallway. Heavy fabric, in a corresponding shade, covered the two tall windows that were centered in both exterior walls. Between the widows was a large bed, the frame of which seemed to be wrought of metal. Tall, twisting pillars formed the legs which supported the large mattress off of the floor and spiraled upward to support a canopy. Fabrics like that which covered the windows was draped across the upper supports and down to the floor, tied by matching strips of cloth to each of the four corner posts.
Tiles or some kind of stone covered the floor, but here and there were small rectangles of lush fabric carpets. A small table, wrought of the same metal, stood near one side of the bed and held a medley of personal objects. As she stepped inside the room, Elise saw that a tall chest, or perhaps something like a locker, took up much of the interior wall nearest her. Along the adjacent wall was a desk and chair and at the foot of the bed a low chest. She moved toward the nearest chest, the one that stood at the foot of the bed and ran her hand over it curiously. It was cool to the touch, but not like metal. “What is this made of?”
“Lintron,” Ja-rael responded almost absently, moving toward the tall cabinet and opening the doors. “The wood of a tree.”
Elise was almost as horrified as she was fascinated. “A living thing?”
He threw a frowning glance in her direction. “A renewable resource. We husband them carefully. If we are not wasteful, then all that we have will be here for many generations of Meeri to enjoy.”
She saw that he was removing clothing from the cabinet. “This is your room,” she said with sudden conviction.
“For now, it is yours.”
“But--I’d really feel a lot better if you’d just put me somewhere else.”
“You are my--guest. This is the best I have to offer. It is yours.”
Chapter Twenty
It was more than just a relief to discover she’d been so very wrong about the civilization Ja-rael was taking her to. It was stunning. The city was a real, honest to god modern city. The women did not wear veils, at all. In fact, although their clothing was very similar to that worn by their male counterparts in design--they all wore long, flowing robes, or tunics, over loose fitting trousers--the fabrics they were made from were often so sheer the females who wore them were the next thing to naked.
They did not travel under guard, and although she learned very quickly that it ‘was not done’ for a female to travel alone, she could see the sense of that.
Her wonder, and surprised pleasure, at her changed circumstances pretty much began and ended there, however.
In the space of fourteen days, Elise had learned that the Meeri calendar contained fourteen months. Each month was divided into 24 days and each day into 30 hours. She learned this not because it was something of tremendous importance to her but because she was so bored she had nothing better to do with her time. Within the first six days--which constituted a Meeri week--she had recovered completely from her illness and begun to pace Ja-rael’s domicile until she knew every inch of it as well as she knew her own private cubical in the habitat. She had learned the verbal and written language of the Meeri well enough to read the labels on everything in the house and talk to herself in that language.
Ja-rael was rarely at home except when he slept, breezing in occasionally during the day to grab something or check his communications to see if he had any emergencies to attend to and then leaving again--and sometimes leaving at dawn and returning way into the night for days on end. At first she thought little of it. She was merely disappointed that there was no chance to pursue the important issue of whether or not she was willing to concede to his wishes regarding the mating business. She knew he’d been gone a very long time and she’d learned from her interaction with the neighbors that the city boasted only a small handful of healers. There were bound to be a lot of things even beyond attending his patients that he needed to take care of. She sought patience and waited.
When a month had passed, she finally accepted that Ja-rael had no intention of allowing her to compromise the decision he’d made. Unfortunately, she had also come to the conclusion that she wanted the chance he’d offered to make it work out between them. Part of it was the fact that it hadn’t taken her five seconds to realize being with him meant more physical comfort than she’d known since she’d left Earth, but as appealing as that was she was pretty sure she would’ve wanted to stay anyway, even if his world had had no more to offer than the habitat, or even as much.
She didn’t know exactly how she felt about Ja-rael beyond an almost painful physical attraction, mostly because he refused to satisfy her cravings--apparently since he’d decided they weren’t going to be mates, he saw no sense in mating at all--but she’d come to realize that she had enjoyed all of the time she’d spent with him, even when they’d been arguing-- enjoyed it enough that she missed being with him so much that it was almost a physical ache, enjoyed it enough to know that a lifetime of it was something to fight for, not against.
How was she to do that, though, when he seemed determined to treat her like a complete stranger and to distance himself from her until the bridge they’d begun to build between them collapsed from neglect?
He was not human, but as far as she’d been able to tell from the little interaction with his kind that she experienced, the Meeri were subject to the same emotions and motivations as humans--which seemed to her to indicate that what she knew about the human male should also apply to the Meeri male. The females of the neighborhood were pampered, spoiled and lazy as hell. Beyond attending their young and their household, they did very little else –and they were as bored as she was, maybe more bored because the customs of Meeri left them little outlet to express themselves. Consequently, they generally behaved abominably, going out of their way to annoy their mates just to get a little attention.
Elise was contemptuous of them at first. After a full month of cleaning things that didn’t need to be cleaned, staring at the walls, and reading the labels on containers, she was beginning to see their side of things.
Ja-rael had given her the only bedroom his home boasted and decamped to the couch in the living area. She avoided him as assiduously as he avoided her at first, embarrassed to be such an inconvenience, angry with him for withdrawing, but when nearly a month went by and she saw nothing would change unless she made it change, she decided to lay in wait for h
im.
She didn’t want to be too obvious--not obvious enough that he’d see right through her machinations. On the other hand, the experience she’d had with human males had led her to the conclusion that subtly simply went right over their heads.
In the end, the opportunity she’d been looking for simply landed in her lap.
Although she generally gave up on Ja-rael and went to bed before he even came in most nights, she’d decided to stay up and wait for him and take it from there. When she heard footsteps on the walk, and then the porch, her mind simply went blank and she began casting around frantically for something she could say that wouldn’t make it obvious that she’d simply been waiting for him.
To her surprise, instead of the door opening, someone rapped at the panel. Startled, she jumped to her feet and rushed to the door before she’d even considered that it might be dangerous to simply open the door so late in the evening when she was all alone. One of the neighbors, Clautz, whose wife had recently given birth, stood on the stoop. He looked disconcerted to discover it was she who’d opened the door. For several moments he merely blinked at her with his jaw at half mast.
“I beg your pardon for disturbing you at such an hour. Might I have a word with Ja-rael?”
Elise could feel color flooding her cheeks. “He isn’t home yet.”
Clautz seemed disconcerted by the news. He frowned and glanced around uneasily.
“Would you like to come in and wait for him?”
His eyes widened until they looked in imminent danger of popping from the sockets. “NO! Excuse me. Pardon my outburst, please.” Several emotions chased across his face. “Forgive my impertinence, but this is not acceptable.”
“What?” Elise asked blankly.
His flesh darkened. “Ja-rael has explained that your customs differ--but it is not acceptable for a male not a family member to visit in the house of another male if he is not present.”
“Oh.” Elise reddened. It wasn’t really acceptable in her culture either if it came to that and could lead to all sorts of nasty rumors and suspicions. “I only thought--well, you must have something important…?”
“If I could trouble you to pass along a message to him?” he asked finally.
“Certainly.”
“He was to have come tomorrow to examine my male child, Sadiem, but I have been called away on business and we will not return until Muncing. If he would please come the following day, on Vincing, it would be greatly appreciated.”
Elise smiled as it sank in that he’d handed her the perfect reason to be waiting for Ja-rael. “Certainly! Thank you!”
He looked puzzled.
“For letting us know.”
He still looked confused. “Of course, it is only polite to do so.”
And the man was excruciatingly polite. Instantly, it popped into her mind to wonder if he was as polite in the bedroom. She could imagine how thrilling it must be for his mate--Pardon me, but could you please move your leg a little to the right? Would you object a great deal if I placed my phallus in yours?
She bit her lip to keep from chuckling at the thought and bid him a good evening. When she’d closed the door, she released a snort of laughter and quickly covered her mouth, hoping he hadn’t overheard her. Returning to the living area, she entertained herself for the next little while envisioning all sorts of exquisitely polite scenarios. She was still snickering over it when Ja-rael came through the door.
Instantly sober, she wondered if he’d overheard her sitting on the couch alone and giggling to herself. He’d think she had gone mad.
One look at his face was enough to tell her he had and that what he’d imagined hadn’t been at all pleasant. He glanced around the room suspiciously, as if he more than half expected to find a randy male hiding somewhere in the room. Elise didn’t know whether to be more pleased by the sign of jealousy or annoyed by the lack of faith. “Looking for something?”
He frowned. “You’re alone?”
“He climbed out the back window,” she said provokingly.
His eyes narrowed.
“Of course I’m alone. I’m always alone.” She bit her lip. She hadn’t intended to provoke a fight. What was the matter with her?
“Someone was here.”
It wasn’t a question. It was a statement of fact. Elise looked at him in surprise, realizing that he was tense all over--a sign of both anger and battle readiness. “How would you know that?”
“The scent lingers. I know this scent.”
Elsie felt her jaw sag. “You smell his scent?” she asked, torn between disbelief and horror at the very thought that he had such an acute sense of smell. That certainly answered the fidelity issue on this world!
He really was angry. It was the first time she’d ever seen him angry and she found it more than a little unnerving.
“He didn’t even come in,” she added hastily. “The neighbor, Clautz, came to speak to you.”
“And lingered when he was told I was not here?”
“You’re starting to scare me,” Elise said uneasily. How the hell could he tell that? “He just wanted to let you know he had to go out of town for a few days,” she added, deciding that this conversation was going nothing like she’d planned. “And now that I’ve told you I believe I’ll go to bed.”
She thought for several unnerving moments that he wasn’t going to let her pass. Finally, with an obvious effort, he forced himself to relax and moved aside. He caught her arm as she brushed past him, however. “Leez.”
She looked a question at him.
“I beg your pardon.”
She stared at him a long moment. “Well, you don’t have it, damn it! You’ve got no reason at all to have such nasty suspicions about me … except that you ignore me all the time!”
He darkened with color, but held his temper. “I am a healer. My duty is to see to the needs of my patients.”
Elise’s lips tightened. “Lying obviously isn’t confined to humans. These people are so damned healthy it’s almost nauseating! I haven’t seen one sick person since we’ve been here. How can you possibly be busy from daylight till all hours of the night?”
He sighed tiredly. “You see only the well-to-do. The poor live much further from here and they have many and varied illnesses, and injuries can happen to anyone anywhere.”
“You’re saying you’re gone all the time because you go to all these places where there are sick? Aren’t there any … uh …” She frowned. Hospital was one word she hadn’t learned. “Buildings where all the sick and injured are taken?”
He looked taken aback. “You can’t seriously think those in need of a healer should come to me so that it is more convenient to me?”
Elise blinked in surprise, floored by the notion. She had never even heard of medicine being practiced any other way than what she’d known all of her life--and that was to move all the sick and injured to a specific location for treatment. She’d never questioned the practice, but even if she had she knew it was easier to keep all of the medicines, equipment, nurses and physicians in one place and have everyone come to it, or be brought to it. She supposed, though, that there was a lot to be said for Ja-rael’s practice, as well--or, she supposed, the way the Meeri practiced healing. Moving people who were seriously ill or injured was rarely the best case scenario.
She shook her head. “No. You’re right. You’re a healer. You life isn’t your own and it sure as hell can’t belong to anyone else.”
A sense of hopeless filled her as she stalked down the hallway and into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. First he suspects her of screwing around behind his back and now she was just a nasty selfish bitch!
Well, that settled that, didn’t it? Short of contracting some hideous disease or dismembering herself, it didn’t look like Ja-rael was going to have time for her in his life.
She supposed that was why he’d said there was no place in his life for a mate.
Bullshit! He’d found the time to hunt an
d trap, hadn’t he? He’d managed to find the time for illegal trade with the Torrines. She knew he was a healer and a lot of folk depended upon him for their very lives, but as busy as he no doubt was, he was taking advantage of the situation. She knew was.
She just didn’t know what she could do to change his mind about her, but somehow she doubted fighting with him was going to get her what she wanted.
Chapter Twenty One
It wasn’t until Elise woke the following morning that it occurred to her that she hadn’t given Ja-rael the entire message. She spent most of the day digging up the yard to work off her frustrations and excess energy and waxing hot and cold on whether or not to wait up for Ja-rael again to give him the rest of the message. In the end, she didn’t make a decision at all. She’d spent so much time destroying the neat little yard that surrounded Ja-rael’s domicile that she was out like a light as soon as she’d had a shower and eaten.
* * * *
Misery, Ja-rael reflected wearily, was a relative thing. Why was it, he wondered, that one always thought one had struck bottom only because of some fairly insignificant setback or roadblock? The truth was, no matter how low one seemed to get, there was always more room at the bottom.
He had only thought that he was miserable having no one of his own. As much as he had tried not to envy those with a mate and family, his position prevented him from avoiding constant contact with those who had what he wanted so badly until he’d become obsessed with the determination to change his situation.
And now he had.
And he had never been more miserable in his life, but he was afraid even to accept that assessment for fear it would get worse.
It would. He knew it would when he took Leez back and the only thing he could think of to do to minimize the pain was to make certain he didn’t grow too accustomed to having her around to start with.
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