I can’t allow him to get more attached to her. It would be unfair and break his heart when we’re no longer together. At least with things the way they stand, he only knew her for the summer. And that was long enough for both of us to love her. But what if we were together for a year or two and we split?
Losing one mother was bad enough, but at least he was too young to remember Sandy or be impacted forever by losing her.
* * *
For the past two days, I’ve practically given myself whiplash snapping my head in every direction possible, looking for Sophie on campus. Everywhere I went, I hoped to catch sight of her thick, chocolate hair and sparkling, coffee colored eyes, but to no avail. And now it’s time for day two of our class and my palms are sweating from my nerves. I’ve never had sweaty palms in my life. Not even on the day I married Sandy, and I was a nervous fucking wreck then.
Will Sophie even show? That’s the million dollar question.
Did she already switch out of this class? God, I hope not. Even though I realize it would be the best solution for both of us.
Sitting at my desk, I shift piles of paper around and do my best to look busy. But I’m not. My mind is fully engaged with thoughts of Sophie in various stages of undress. Vivid images assault me, until my cock is firmly tenting my khakis under the desk. Jesus. I’m acting like a teenage boy. At this rate I’ll be teaching today’s lesson from my seat.
Pressing the heels of my palms into my eye sockets, I rub in a circular motion to clear my mind. Think about baseball. Maybe I can get tickets to an Orioles game with Tanner and Sam. I haven’t seen them lately and they could help keep my mind off of a certain petite brunette I shouldn’t be thinking of.
Students start flowing into the room. My eyes dart up to the clock and notice there’s five more minutes left until class starts. Scanning the room, there’s no sign of Sophie. I thought she might’ve slipped unnoticed into a seat further back, but she hasn’t. Disappointment sets in. If she’s no longer in my class, then I don’t know when I’ll see her again. I’m not going to call or text her, especially now that I know she’s a student here. Breaking the professor/student no fraternization clause isn’t an option. If anything, her attending King University put the nail in the coffin, shutting our relationship away forever.
26
Sophie
Timing my entrance so I wouldn’t get to class too early was no easy feat. It seems like today is the only time I’m running ahead of schedule no matter what I do to slow myself down.
I stopped at King Koffee to grab a coffee and a muffin. I even sat down for ten minutes to eat said muffin and I’m still walking into class with a few minutes to spare. Dammit.
Don’t look at him. Don’t look at him.
My eyes sweep to the front of the room where Miles sits behind his desk. His black polo shirt is stretched tight across his broad chest as he leans back in his chair. Sharp, blue eyes stare back at me, making my breakfast sit uneasily in my stomach.
Dammit. Why did I look?
His stubble is a thick, dark shadow on his jawline and I remember what it felt like scraping my inner thighs and my neck and my… stop thinking about it.
I fall into the chair I sat in two days ago and get my computer out before I glance around. The same girl who sat next to me on Monday is back.
“Hi,” I greet her with a smile.
“Hello. I’m Callie.” Her light brown eyes crinkle at the corners when she smiles.
“I’m Sophie.”
“Good morning, everyone.” Miles claps his hands together to call our attention to him at the front of the room. As if any of the females need to be told to look at him. I’ve already heard the whispers - he’s so hot, I’d like to earn extra credit from him, and it’s only day two of class.
I have to admit there’s a small part of me… okay, maybe a large part of me that wants to tell them to fuck off because he’s mine. But since I can’t do that, maybe there’s a way I could accidentally punch one of the girls who’s saying that in the face. Just imagining it has me smiling.
“How did you all do on the assignment I gave you? Did anyone have any difficulty writing it?”
Glancing around I see a lot of head shaking going on.
“What about choosing which point you were going to argue from?”
One or two hands get raised. For me, it was an easy paper to write. Most of it involved utilizing common sense and the rest involved a little research in order to give data to back up my opinion. I think I should get a good grade on it.
“We talked about some of the risk factors and now I want to discuss the definition of a juvenile delinquent.” He ambles to the whiteboard and grabs a marker. Today it’s blue. My favorite color, which happens to be the same as his eyes. Tugging the cap off he writes, a young person who habitually commits criminal acts or offenses, on the board.
“What makes someone a juvenile delinquent? Are they a delinquent because they’re repeatedly getting into trouble at school? Are they a delinquent because they’re being defiant at home?” He turns around and shrugs. “What do you think?”
A chorus of the word ‘no’ is called out.
“Right. That’s not enough bad behavior to label them that. If that was the case, I bet half of this class would be considered juvenile delinquents.” Laughter rings out. “Ah, just as I suspected.”
We spend the rest of the class making a list of things that would be considered delinquent behavior. Miles is fascinating to listen to and it’s not just because he’s so gorgeous to watch. Although, that doesn’t hurt. He speaks with confidence and moves with purpose, an eye catching combination for sure. I can tell he enjoys sharing information with his students and I like how he takes his time, making sure everyone understands before he moves on. He’s a caring person no matter what he’s doing.
Class is dismissed and I quickly clear my stuff from the desk. Bounding to my feet with the intention of a quick escape, I shuffle between the rows of desks and chairs.
“Miss Gardner,” Miles calls my name.
Letting out an annoyed sigh, I pivot his way and stalk to the front of the room. My stare fires imaginary laser beams at him all the way to the front of his desk.
He skirts the piece of furniture and moves to stand beside me. “How are you doing?” he stupidly questions, peering down at me.
I roll my eyes and give him a look that says ‘really?’ and then I glance back to make sure the rest of the students have cleared out of class. I’m concerned with what he might say and I don’t want anyone to overhear.
He leans toward me, his expensive and familiar woodsy scent wafting around me. “Look, I know what I did was cold, but I hope you realize my reasons were pure.”
“Why are we talking about this, Professor Decker? Do you have a school related issue you need to discuss with me? If not, I’m going to be on my way now. I have another class and I’d like to make it there on time.”
He stares stonily at me, as a muscle tics in his cheek. This isn’t the way he wanted this to go, but that’s too bad. I want to get out of here, while I’m still remaining so strong. No matter how calm I appear on the outside, it’s a struggle to do so.
“Are you enjoying college?”
I snort. “Polite conversation, really? Do you think you deserve for me to act as though nothing happened and I’m A-Okay? I understand how that would make you feel better, but I’m not concerned with what you feel. Just like you weren’t concerned with my feelings.”
“Sophie, you know that’s not true.”
“That’s your opinion. And mine is very different. I’m going to leave now, so I can make my next class on time. It’s a great class and since I don’t have a history of fucking the professor it’s even more enjoyable.”
His eyebrows raise with surprise. Did he think I was going to fall at his feet and beg him to take me back? Hell no. I’m made of sterner stuff than that. He hurt me with the way he ended our relationship. Well intended or not, he shouldn�
��t have sprung it on me. And I never got a chance to say goodbye to Joey. I still feel so torn up about that.
Whirling around, I march toward the door, my flip flops clacking on the tile floor the whole way. No matter how much my heart aches for me to stay, I have to remain strong.
* * *
“Come on. I know you’ll be glad you came,” Tenley grabs my hand propelling me forward toward the frat house. The inside of my stomach feels like it’s bobbing for apples. I rub a hand over it to soothe the unease. I’ve never been to a college party before.
Tenley boldly leads me up the stairs and through the front door. A cacophony of sounds hits my ears all at once and I cringe. Glancing around, I take in all the activities taking place. There are couples dancing in the middle of the living room. Well, if you can call what they’re doing dancing. It looks like dry humping to me.
There’s a game of strip poker happening at the dining room table. Various people of both sexes are sitting around in different stages of undress. I’ll pass on joining in.
We walk straight through to the back of the house. “How many parties have you been to here?” I ask Tenley. She seems to know her way around really well.
She shrugs, answering vaguely, “A few.”
“Mhm, a few. That automatically means at least double that amount.”
“Hey, what can I say? This is where all the hottest guys can be found. All the jocks are members.” She sweeps her hand in front of her in an arc. “Feast your eyes on all this beauty.”
I do as she suggests and I have to agree. There are a lot of gorgeous guys packed into this one house. But looks aren’t everything. I’d rather have someone sweet and caring. Someone who’d make me dinner. Someone who’d break my heart. It’s like my subconscious is reminding me not to think about him.
“Sophie?”
I turn my head to find Callie from Miles’ class beside me. “Hey, how are you?”
“I can’t say I expected to see you here, no offense.”
“I can’t say I planned on attending this party, so no offense taken.”
“I dragged her here. I’m Tenley.”
“Hey, I’m Callie. We’re in the same Juvenile Delinquency class.”
“Oh yeah. The one with Professor Decker.” Tenley smiles and I kick the side of my foot into hers.
“Has Sophie told you how incredibly hot he is, or did you have him for a teacher?”
“Neither. I just happen to know from word of mouth.”
“Ok, I’m going to see if I can find my friends before they ditch me.”
“Nice friends.”
“They wouldn’t actually leave without me, but I won’t take the chance.” She wiggles her fingers in a quick wave and scurries away before I can say goodbye.
“She seems cool,” Tenley offers.
“Yeah, I barely know her, but she’s friendly at least.”
“Come on. Let’s go get some drinks. You’ll feel better when you get a little alcohol in your system.”
“I don’t know about that, but I might need some just for liquid courage. This party is frightening for me. So many people everywhere. I feel like the schoolmarm being thrust into the unexpected.”
Tenley laughs. “You’re not a schoolmarm and you certainly don’t look like one thanks to me.” She scrutinizes me from head to toe, taking in my tight black jeans, black Chucks, and the Boston Terriers tank top I’m wearing, and gives me a thumbs up.
We step out onto the back deck and I swear it shakes. Are we going to be on the news later? I can see the headline now: Frat party ends in tragedy when the back deck gives out under the immense weight of all the party goers.
Tenley disappears into the thick crowd while I freeze and try to make up my mind whether I should brave it out or turn around and run back into the house.
“Don’t worry, this deck isn’t going anywhere.” A large, muscular guy smiles reassuringly.
I bite my bottom lip and tuck my chin, embarrassed he noticed the panic on my face.
“Don’t be embarrassed. I thought the same thing the first time I was out here for a party. But now I know this baby has been shored up with extra thick support beams.”
“Really? Are you sure? It didn’t feel like it was secure.”
“I promise.” He winks. “I’m Reid by the way.” He offers his large hand to me. “I’m Sophie.” I place mine against his and we shake.
“It’s nice to meet you. Are you new to King?”
“Is it that obvious?”
“No, but I haven’t seen you around before. I’d definitely remember if I had.”
“With the number of students that attend this school the odds are you wouldn’t even notice me.”
“Well, I’m noticing you now.” He grins.
I find myself smiling back at him. He’s extremely attractive and he seems like a decent guy. “What year are you?”
“I’m a junior.”
“I’m supposed to be a sophomore, but I deferred for a year, so I could save up.”
“Impressive. A hard worker too. Tell me some more to like about you.”
“This is my first college party, and probably my last.”
“I don’t think that’s necessarily a good thing. How am I going to see more of you?”
“Trust me, I’ll be so busy studying, I won’t have time for anything else.”
“How about a football game? I’m the quarterback.”
I brush my bangs out of my eyes and notice his gaze narrowing on my chest. Is he checking out my tits?
“Boston Terriers? Please tell me that’s not your team. I’ll be heartbroken.”
“My cousin Clancy goes there. He’s the captain of the hockey team.”
“Damn. Okay, I can forgive you for supporting a relative.”
“I’m glad you can forgive me for something that’s none of your business.” I smile to take the sting out of my words. It’s the equivalent of sticking an lol on the end of a sentence that you know you shouldn’t have said. I don’t usually act this way, but this back and forth we have going on is fun. And he seems like he can take it.
We spend the next hour talking about nothing meaningful and everything silly that we can come up with. Reid has a great sense of humor and if I hadn’t met Miles two months ago, I think I’d pursue something with him. That’s if he wanted to. For all I know he’s just shooting the shit with me to kill time.
We move to the far corner of the deck where there’s more room. Both of us lean against the railing, looking out at the postage stamp sized backyard that living in D.C. gets you.
Music begins to blare from speakers nearby. What the hell? Did someone move them out onto the deck?
Reid speaks but I can’t hear a word he says. I only see his lips moving.
I laugh. “I can’t hear you.” I point to my ear and shake my head.
He smiles and lowers his face down to speak directly in my ear. “Do you want to get out of here?”
Do I want to leave with Reid? That’s a tough one. While he’s a nice guy and easy on the eyes, I feel like leaving with him would send the wrong message.
Warm lips press to mine, taking me by surprise. His large hand cups the back of my head, holding me in place as his tongue delves between my parted lips. My hands creep up to his shoulders as I let myself see what kissing someone besides Miles feels like. While having Reid’s mouth on mine is pleasant, there’s no fire or sense of urgency there. Pushing against his chest, I draw back.
He frowns down at me. “Are you okay? I’m sorry if I misread the situation.”
“No, it’s okay. I wanted you to kiss me, but not for the right reasons.”
“What do you mean?”
“I recently broke up with someone I was in a relationship with. I guess your kiss was research to see if I was over him yet. I’m sorry. It was wrong of me to use you that way.”
“I think I’m okay being used by you. But what’s the verdict? Are you over your ex?”
I shake my
head. “Not even close to it.” And now I feel guilty for kissing someone besides Miles.
27
Miles
School began three weeks ago. That’s twenty one days of Sophie and me ignoring each other. Only, we’re not really ignoring each other. There’s plenty of covert glances and outright staring, but we haven’t spoken a single word to one another since the second day of class.
I’m keeping my distance and she appears to be doing the same. I know that’s the right thing to do. She’s on a scholarship and I can’t jeopardize that. I also can’t risk my employment at King. I need the comfortable salary they pay in order to support Joey. His daycare isn’t cheap and neither is the mortgage on my house; one of the fallbacks of living in this part of the country.
Glancing in the mirror, I straighten the knot on my tie and smooth out the collar on my dress shirt. I have another faculty dinner tonight, and like the first one, I don’t want to attend this one either.
My phone rings from inside my pocket. Tugging it free, I notice it’s Miranda.
“Hey, what’s up?” She’s supposed to be here shortly to babysit Joey.
“Don’t hate me, but I can’t watch Joey. One of the pipes in the shop bathroom sprung a leak and I’m waiting on the plumber to get here now.”
“Fuck.”
“I’m sorry. I feel really bad, but I can’t leave here. Ask Mom and Dad.”
“I already did, before I asked you. They had plans.”
“You asked them before me?”
“Is that really important right now? We can argue about that later. I need to find someone to babysit for me. Can you think of anyone?”
“What about Sophie?”
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I picture Sophie watching me in class and my heart physically hurts. “I’m sure she’s too busy with school.”
“How can you know for certain when you haven’t asked?”
DEPRAVITY: KING UNIVERSITY Page 20