Now how the fuck do I get these wires and tubes out of me? As I start to remove everything from my body, the beeping starts and I know I don’t have much time before a nurse comes in to check on me and see what’s going on. It takes me only a minute to remove everything and the beeps to go crazy, blaring my ears in annoyance. I scoot off my bed carefully but quickly trying to avoid ripping the stitches in my abdomen and shoulder. The pain is tolerable as it throbs with every movement but I push through. It could have been worse and I know I will feel it later when the pain meds wear off.
I shuffle to the door with my shaky legs and slowly open it to peak out. None of the nurses seem to notice the light flashing on the big monitor indicating my room needs to be checked. So I look down the hall one way then the other before opening the door fully and making a right out of my room. I walk as quickly as possible without making a scene and the first sight of a nurse heading my way I sneak into another room whose door was already open. There is only one person occupying the room and they seem to be asleep. I hide behind the door and wait for the nurse to walk by before peeking out to check if the coast is clear. It is.
By the time I make it to the end of the hall near the elevators, I’ve stopped in at least three rooms, thankfully nobody noticed I was there, and am currently out of breath and in need of some serious pain medication. My abdomen throbs and my brain feels like it’s about to explode. Being shot fucking sucks. I look back and quickly push open the door to the stairs so nobody will see me as I leave.
Every step I take hurts like a mother fucker. God damn. The pain makes me out of breath even though I’m walking down the stairs, not up. I know I’m pushing myself but I need to get out of here and I need to start looking for Sierra. The longer I wait the less of a chance there is of finding her. There’s no time to waste and a little pain won’t stop me now.
Once I finally make it down the three floors, I know I need to find a way to get past security. Thank god this hospital is huge because the stairs lead to the lobby through one door and to the parking garage across from it. If I go through the lobby first there’s a good chance that I’ll be seen but I will be able to grab some clothes before I leave. If I go to the garage instead then I will be leaving in the patient dress but nobody will see me. I decide going to the garage will be better for me and I can always get clothes somewhere else.
I walk to the other side of the stairs where the exit to the garage is and push through. The garage is several stories and the first floor from what I can see is filled with personnel parking. This hospital is for all types of medical services so there is several floors to the parking garage. I walk through the aisles on the first floor checking cars to see if any are unlocked and as luck would have it a little beat up four door was left unlocked. What are people thinking leaving their cars unlocked?
After looking around to make sure no one is coming I slide into the driver’s seat and shut the door. Looking around the car there is trash everywhere. Mail, food wrappers, soda cans, fast food. It’s disgusting and it smells as if someone died. I guess this is why they left it unlocked because who in their right mind would want to steal this hunk of junk. Moving things around there isn’t much in here that will help me. I decide to check the trunk in a last ditch effort to find something, anything that I could use. I need shoes, clothes and a cellphone but I will settle for clothes for now.
I pop the trunk before looking inside and finding a duffel bag. Luck is on my side as I find in the bag some sweats, running shoes, and a shirt. As I quickly try to change, the shoes are about two sizes bigger than mine making me think this guy is a giant and the sweats need the drawstring pulled tight so they don’t fall off but they work.
After dressing in record time I look around once more before jogging to the car exit ramp. It leads to a side street that connects to Main Street. Instead of heading to Main Street I take a right and walk as quickly as possible while holding my due to the pain and head to the nearest store. I need a phone and a place to hide until I can figure out my next move and I know just who to call to help me. Besides Damon, he’s the only other person I trust with my life right now. He’ll know what to do next.
Chapter 14
Sierra
Why is life so cruel? Ripping me from my family, from school, my friends. And let’s not forget taking Forrest from me and ending his short life. I never thought this would happen to me. Who would believe that in their life they would be kidnapped, raped, and not just raped but gang raped, and lose everyone they care about? I know bad things happen and people go through struggles in life but it never occurred to me that I would be going through this right now or ever. I feel bad for all those girls who have been through this. I think I have it easy compared to most. I haven’t been beaten nearly to death even though I wish I were dead. I haven’t been sold to the devil even though some days I think he truly is and I haven’t been drugged up like most are.
Even though I believe him to be crazy I also believe that in his mind he truly cares. Oh what the hell am I saying? He doesn’t care and if he does he has a fucked up way of showing it. He’s obsessed. That’s his problem. He’s obsessed with me and I have no idea why. What’s so great about me that made him obsess and kidnap me? I’m not gorgeous and I am not experienced in the art of seduction. There were plenty of other girls who wanted him and would find this as a dream come true. They wouldn’t fight back and they would give him what he wanted. Sex.
He tells me how much he loves me, how beautiful I am and how great I feel. It makes me sick yet at the same time I love the attention. I’ve never had anyone really want me this much. I think I’m going crazy. The fact that I enjoy his attention shows that I am losing my mind. Is this what they call Stockholm syndrome?
I refuse to think of Forrest anymore because it hurts just too damn much. Actually, I refuse to think of my former life and everything I’ve lost because of how much it kills me that I can no longer go back. My old life had so many possibilities. I was close to graduating and going to University where I planned to finish in four years and find a job helping children like Forrest with their fucked up lives. I already told Forrest I was in love with him so maybe we could have been together. Maybe we would have gotten married after I finished college. We would have had a bunch of carbon copies of him and me running around a few years after we were married and had a place of our own. We would have grown old together like that Nicolas Sparks novel, The Notebook. Life could have been perfect. Now I need to adjust to this new life of captivity. There is no escaping and no one who can save me. Everyone is under Jeremy’s thumb.
I’ve been raped every night by Jeremy that now I am used to his visits. I can’t escape him so I don’t even try anymore. I don’t think about suicide either. Even though I hate the hell I live in, I’ve realized that I would rather live this horrid life with the possibility that one day I may be found or escape, then die and never get the chance to find out. I trudge on. I take it day by day looking for answers to my questions, waiting for that small opportunity to escape or be saved. It may never happen but my new found strength has helped me move forward when all I want to do is curl up into a ball and die. I don’t know where this strength came from but I’m glad I have it because I really need it in this moment of excruciating pain.
I guess not being on birth control made me more susceptible to becoming pregnant. My period never came and I tried to hide the fact from Jeremy but he knew. I guess he paid more attention to me than I thought. He’s held me captive now for over two months and it was bound to happen that I got pregnant since I wasn’t on birth control and he never used condoms.
I started out with just a mild case of nausea. I didn’t know why I felt that way but somehow I managed to hide it from Jeremy. When my period didn’t come I thought at first that it was the stress of everything that happened to me. Then I put two and two together and knew I was pregnant. I knew I didn’t want Jeremy to know about the baby. I didn’t know how I would hide it from him when I starte
d to grow but I was hoping that somehow I would be out of here by then.
Today when he came home though, I knew something was up. He had his guards bring me to another room that looked more like a torture chamber and chain me up. I thought this was some fifty shades of grey fucked up shit but I was wrong. He could use any of the stuff in that room for torture sexually or otherwise so I knew being in this room wasn’t going to result in anything good.
I struggled to get out of the guards hold to no avail. I didn’t want whatever was going to happen. I knew it wouldn’t be good. It was never good but I knew today would be horrible. It would hurt, scar and break me in the worst way. Jeremy just stood in the doorway and waited for the guards to finish before kicking them out and closing and locking the door.
“My beautiful Sierra. There is no other way to fix this but to hurt you. I am sorry for that. But I will make it quick. We can’t have this thing come to fruition. It will ruin everything. As much as I hate my father I never want to have a little spawn of me. Oh I’m sure it would be an exact replica of you but I don’t want that. This thing will take your attention away from me and I just can’t have that.”
“What are you talking about?” That’s it. Play dumb. Maybe he won’t hurt you or the baby if you continue to play dumb. But then again, what am I going to do? I don’t know when I will be able to get away and do I really want to have my child go through abuse and god knows what else?
No. I don’t want my child ever going through something like that. So maybe this is a good thing? No it’s not. Oh god I am so confused. I have no idea what I want to happen. As much as I don’t want a child from him I also don’t want to lose something that is part of me. I don’t want my child to go through hell but maybe I can get away before that happens.
I know there is no way to stop this though. He will kill my baby before I even know if it’s a boy or girl. I won’t ever feel my child move in my stomach or feel them kick as they try to get comfortable. I’ll never experience what other soon to be moms experience when going through their pregnancy. Things like hearing the baby’s heart beat for the first time, finding out if it’s a boy or girl, seeing them on the blurry screen of the ultrasound machine. There will be no water breaking or hours of painful labor before the most exquisite miracle is born or hear their first cry and see their little fingers and toes.
As I imagine all these things that I wish could be part of my future, I don’t notice Jeremy grab his choice of weapon to murder my baby. As my hands start to turn cold and lose feeling in them my body starts to shake and turn hot in fear of the pain I know will be thrust upon me at any minute. I close my eyes and take a deep breath not wanting to see the coming assault to my belly. I hate this man and what he has done to me and my family and I hate him even more for what he is about to do now to my baby.
My breathing becomes ragged, my heart beats in erratic thumps feeling as if it’s about to burst out of my chest, and sweat beads on my forehead and spine. I don’t want this to happen but there is no way to stop it. I can feel his eyes bore into me as he decides his next move.
“Here we go.” I don’t get the chance to flinch or move as the swoosh of the tool cutting through the air slams into my stomach with such force that I lose my breath and try to bend over to ease the pain only to be restricted by the binds holding my arms in place above me. Tears prick my eyes before gliding down my cheeks and running off my chin to fall to the floor. I whimper trying not to show my weakness and how much pain he’s caused.
It’s not long before another whack barrels into me making me involuntarily cry out. Then another, and another until I lose count of how many times I’ve been hit. I can barely breathe as the pain is unbearable. I know I begged him to stop several time but my only response was another blow to my stomach. I’ve wretched on the ground several times and the tangy taste lingers in my mouth. There’s drool and spit running off my chin as my tears flow dramatically down my face trying to wash it all away.
It’s not long before I can feel wetness seep between my thighs. I know what it is. There is no way I could stop it from happening. Blood from the loss of my pregnancy pours out of me confirming he had done what he brought me here to do.
“Ah. Finally. I’m sure there were much less painful ways to rid you of that germ but I wanted to be the one to do it. I’ll have the doctor check on you and make sure everything is good.” That’s all I hear from Jeremy before I pass out from the pain and exhaustion of what had just occurred.
I never felt them release my binds or carry me to my room and strip me bare. I never woke when the doctor supposedly checked me out to make sure I was ok. I could have burned to death and I doubt I would have awoken. I wish he had hit me bad enough to have killed me. I wished to never have woken up because the pain was unbearable. My stomach was bruised and swollen, and I couldn’t eat and I could barely breathe. Every movement I made just causes it to worsen. I bled for days whether it be from the loss of my pregnancy or internal injuries I have no idea. I’m not a doctor so the reason for it is unknown to me.
Jeremy visited me with water and light foods that I could keep down due to my stomach being damaged among other things. He always tried to make small talk with me only for me to shut him down by turning away. He never tried to touch me, maybe because I was hurt so bad and he actually had a conscience. Or maybe because he didn’t like the sight of blood. I’m not sure which but I was grateful. I knew it wouldn’t last for long. Soon he would come in here and take from me like he always did. I just hoped that when that day come, and it was coming soon, I would be ready and could fend him off. Doubtful, because he has always overpowered me, but I could hope because that’s all I have left is hope. Hope that someone will find me. Hope that one day soon I won’t be here in this hell that is my life now. Hope that maybe I will get out of here with at least some of myself still intact. Wishful thinking on my part I know.
Two weeks pass since the incident. Two weeks free from being touched, fondled and raped by the monster of the house. I was in heaven even if I felt like I was in hell. But that’s all about to change. I can feel it. I know he knows I am doing better and he will come for me soon.
Knock, knock. “Sierra. We must speak.”
I don’t answer because regardless of what I want I know he will just come in anyways. There is no stopping him. He slowly turns the knob before pushing the door open with a creek and peaking in with a giant smile plastered on his face.
“Hello beautiful. May I come in?” Without waiting for my response, Jeremy already has waltzed in and closed the door shut with a click before striding over to the bed that I am curled up on and sits down causing the springs to squeak and the mattress to dip near my feet. Reaching out to touch my ankle I flinch. I don’t want him touching me but he’s going to anyways.
“I have a request.”
“A request or a demand? A request would imply I have a say in the matter. A demand implies I don’t and there will be consequences for not doing as I’m told.” I don’t mean to snap at him but nothing is ever a request when he says it to me.
“Well played Sierra. Fine. A demand.” I look away furious because that’s all he does. Demands. There is never a choice in the matter for me. It’s all about him. I guess as a kidnapper he can do that though, can’t he.
“What’s your request?” I ask using quotations with my fingers when I say this.
“Don’t be a smart ass.” He says irritably. I look away from him and stare at a spot across the room as I wait for him to say what he wants.
“You know I love you. You’re beautiful, smart, and irresistible and you’re mine. I just want you to tell me you love me.”
“But I don’t love you. I hate you with every fiber of my being. I wish you were dead. I want to stick my hand down your throat and grab your heart while it still beats before ripping it from your chest and stomping on it. I could never love you. Never!” How could he think I would ever feel the same as him?
“You’d be wise to
watch what you say to me. I know in time you will eventually come to love me. As for now I just want to hear those words sing to me from your sweet, beautiful mouth. You will say it so much that you will start to believe it. I want to hear it all the time.”
I hate him. I hate him so much that I wish he would burst into flames right now so I can watch him burn as I add more kerosene to the flame. I would smile and laugh as I heard his screams until they are no more. Too bad that won’t ever happen.
“No. I will not tell you I love you. I will never come to love you. You’re a monster of the worse kind. I fucking hate you. Do you hear me? I loath you.” By this time I’m sitting up and in his face screaming at him. I know it isn’t smart on my behalf but how could he ask me to say such a thing? That’s personal and something that should only be said to those who you truly love. I have said it to my best girlfriend, my family and Forrest. How could I say that to Jeremy and taint the true meaning of it and how I feel for those that I do love? I couldn’t. I wouldn’t say it no matter what. He can hurt me all he wants but I will never say those words to him.
“You will or your precious brother will suffer.” No! How could he? My brother has nothing to do with this. He already has me, how could he go after my brother too? Pulling an envelope out of his jacket pocket, Jeremy tosses it to me. I catch it between my hands and stare at it. I know what it is before I even open it. As I pull the pictures out one by one, picture after picture of my brother at work, at the hospital, at the police station stare back at me making me realize I never had a choice in the matter. I need to protect my brother and not let anyone else get hurt or worse, killed, because of me.
My brother looks tired in each and every one of the photos. I know this is hard on him not knowing where I am or if I am ok. It kills me that my family is suffering like this. I know they will never stop searching for me until the day they find me and that this may just consume them. I wish I could fix it and let them know I’m alive even if I’m not ok. I don’t want them hurting anymore than they already have by losing Forrest. If telling Jeremy I love him means that it will keep my brother and family safe than that’s what I will do even if I hate the idea. There is no way I will let him hurt my family if I can help it.
Save Me (Taken Series Book 1) Page 20