by Zina Abbott
With her other arm, she clung to Marcus’s arm for support as they leisurely strolled down the length of the parade ground. She wore winter boots, but the open field they now crossed was covered with several inches of uneven snow and ice. Whether it snowed or rained, as long as the afternoon weather allowed, the troops regularly tamped down the snow as they marched in formation. The low nighttime temperatures left the field glazed with a top layer of ice. As much as she enjoyed this rare time alone with her husband, she had no desire to slip and fall.
“Lt. Hedrick’s wife is watching Jerry, isn’t she? How long before you need to pick him up?”
“About three-thirty or four. I’ll watch her little girl in the morning.”
“I don’t have to be back at the hospital to check on patients until about four. That gives us a couple of hours by ourselves.” He hesitated. “Were you able to unpack most of the crates full of the goods we ordered for the house?”
Penelope gave a single nod. “I did. The men you sent over to move in the dining room table and chairs and set up the furniture in both bedrooms finished before the dinner hour. I already put the bedding on all three beds. Jerry is excited about his new room. I think he’s still trying to puzzle out how the larger bed will belong to Theo, especially since he hasn’t met your son yet. As for the two crates still waiting to be unpacked, I’m pretty sure they hold kitchen items.”
“Good. I’m tired of sleeping on the floor.” He paused. “So, we’re about ready to move in completely?”
“Yes. I brought my carpetbag with enough clothes for Jeremy and me to last a day. I told Ginny Hedrick I’d send someone for my chest tomorrow.”
“Are you warm enough, Penelope?”
Penelope turned to her husband and smiled. “I am. I know you’re anxious to pick Theo up at the train depot in Fort Hays next week. The only thing that worries me about the weather is that it will be a cold trip for you both.”
“I’m hoping it will warm up after the early storm we recently had. I’ll take extra blankets. We’ll spend the night in Fort Zarah so he’ll be able to sleep where it’s warm. We’ll be fine.” Marcus turned and studied her face. “While I’m gone, will you be all right taking care of Jeremy by yourself?”
“Of course. For many months before I traveled west, it was only Jeremy and me. Now we’re in officers’ quarters and our new furniture has arrived, we’ll be quite comfortable.” She paused. “I will miss you, though.”
“I’ll miss you, too. Thankfully, I don’t have to travel that far to the train now.” Marcus faced forward as he reached his free hand over to pat her hand resting on his forearm. “I remember our conversation about why you came west. You were so stubborn—oops, I forgot—determined you did so because of an answer to prayer. Considering how your plan to marry Harvey Layton did not work out, do you still believe that to be the case?”
As she debated how to answer, Penelope stared forward and pressed her lips together. “I believe I explained I did not feel good about accepting any of the few marriage offers from men who lived north of me. I felt I should go west. Because of the need to vacate the house I was living in, I was running out of time. If the Lord was going to direct me, I knew it had to be soon. Then Harvey Layton sent his marriage offer. He lived west of Lawrence. I felt at peace when I accepted.”
“What about now? Especially after you realized what a scoundrel he is and how he deceived you, can you really claim God told you to marry him? Not that I’m complaining, Penelope. I’m happy with how things turned out.”
Penelope turned and stared at her husband’s profile. “You were a widower for a long time. Tell me, Marcus, did you ever plan to remarry?” She watched him inhale deeply and then release his breath.
“You didn’t answer me, Penelope.” Marcus cleared his throat. “Fine, I’ll answer you first. I figured I probably would someday. I knew there were not many opportunities to meet the right kind of women on the Kansas frontier, so I had no plans to remarry while still with the Army.”
“You never considered using a matrimonial service to find a wife through correspondence?”
Marcus harrumphed and shook his head. “No. Never. I thought, once I returned to Springfield where I planned to spend the rest of my life and build my career as a physician, then would be soon enough to look for a wife. Now, I’m waiting for your answer.”
Penelope continued to watch him. “So, if I never accepted Harvey Layton’s offer and traveled west to the frontier, waiting to do so until the cholera epidemic ended, the same epidemic which was the reason you were in that part of Kansas at the same time I was, I probably never would have met you, would I?”
Marcus snapped his head until his gaze locked on hers. “No. I doubt you would have.” He shook his head. “I was only at Fort Hays a short time. It was only because my duties ended there and I was available that it was me, not the usual post surgeon, who traveled to Fort Monument.” He paused. “I know where you’re going with this, Penelope.” He stopped walking and leaned his face toward her. “Are you sure it all was not just a coincidence?”
Penelope shook her head. She broke eye contact and stared at the ground in front of her feet. “I prefer to believe that it was not. There were too many conditions that had to come together at just the right time for our meeting to be a coincidence.” She turned to face him once more and smiled. “I also am happy with how things turned out.”
Marcus faced forward and continued walking. “You’re happy with how our marriage has turned out? While we’ve waited for the furnishings for our quarters to arrive, we’ve basically been living a marriage of convenience. It has been just as well, especially with how little we knew about each other before we married.” He turned to study her face again. “You’re content with that?”
Penelope lifted her chin and stared straight forward. “I could be content with that, Marcus, if that is what you want. With your Theo and my Jeremy, we have two boys. It is enough.”
“And you wish for nothing more for us?”
Penelope bit her lip. “If I were to wish for something more, it would be a daughter.”
Marcus came to an abrupt halt. He did a quarter turn and placed his hands on Penelope’s shoulders. He turned her body so she stood directly in front of him.
Penelope lifted her gaze. She realized Marcus had jutted his face forward and he now stared at her as if trying to read her mind.
“You do know, surely, what us trying for a daughter entails?”
“Yes.” Penelope barely spoke the word aloud. She drank in the eyes that gazed into hers. What were his thoughts behind those orbs? Did he want to build a family in every respect with her? Or did he only want a wife to take care of his home and help him with Theo? Is it too unseemly for me to speak freely about something of such an intimate nature? Her mother’s bitter threats intruded her thoughts. She pushed them aside. I know what I want. Never breaking eye contact, she licked her lips. “I would welcome it.” As Marcus, not moving a muscle, continued to stare at her, Penelope felt a frisson of apprehension course through her. Was I too forward? Should I have kept my desires to myself?
“I very much want to kiss you, Penelope.”
Penelope’s gaze remained riveted on her husband’s face as she felt Marcus’s fingers tighten around her upper arms and then release. I want you to kiss me, too. I want more than a kiss.
Marcus raised his head and turned it from one side to the other as he studied their surroundings. He cleared his throat and returned his gaze to hers once more. “However, we are standing in the middle of the parade ground in the middle of the day. It’s surrounded by officers’ housing and barracks, all with a multitude of windows facing us.” He offered her a wry smile. “I know how you feel about maintaining propriety.”
Penelope sensed the tension in his body. She felt anticipation building within her own. She dipped her chin. Next, she raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes up to look at him from beneath her lashes. She blinked several times. “I think as lo
ng as we are within our own walls and all the doors are locked, others will not be aware of anything taking place between us. I would consider it proper.” If it’s not, I don’t care! “I believe our house is behind me and several yards to your left, Marcus. It has doors that lock, and the delivery men helped me hang our new curtains over the front windows.”
“Come, Mrs. Garrett.” Marcus grabbed her elbow and, nearly pulling Penelope off her feet, spun her around and walked almost too fast for her to keep up as he headed in the direction of their quarters. Once inside, Marcus turned away from Penelope long enough to slam the front door shut and slide the bolt. He faced her once more and crushed her to his chest. He pressed his lips to hers with the desperation of a man dying of thirst running toward water.
Penelope lost herself in her husband’s kiss. A small part of her realized she had never been kissed before like Marcus kissed her now. Her kisses with Jeremy had been sweetheart kisses—kisses that promised love—a love that was disrupted and destroyed by war. However, Marcus kissed like a lover—not a kiss of promise, but one that assured completeness.
As the kiss ended and the two eased apart, Penelope watched as Marcus, his eyes still closed, leaned his head back against the door. “I’m so relieved you want more than a marriage of convenience.” He straightened his head and opened his eyes until his gaze met hers. “I love you, Penelope. Go upstairs into our newly-furnished bedroom and shed your bonnet and cloak, my darling wife. I’ll join you as soon as I make sure the rear door is secure.”
A joy-filled laugh bursting from her lips, Penelope danced away from her husband, releasing him to jog through the parlor on the way to the back door. She began to run up the stairs. Once she reached the stair where the balustrade met the end of the wall that separated the stairwell from the parlor, she stopped and grabbed the wooden handrail. She leaned her body from the waist up into the parlor, turning her head to see her husband’s back just before he entered the dining room. “Marcus!”
Marcus spun on the balls of his feet until he faced her.
“I love you, Marcus.” Penelope pulled her body upright and continued running up the stairs.
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Epilogue
~o0o~
Springfield, Illinois
June 28, 1870
P enelope clutched twenty-one-month-old Sarah to her chest and heard Marcus direct the driver of the surrey to stop. She kept her other arm firmly around Jeremy. Aware of her young son’s excitement that their long journey from Fort Larned was at an end, she refused to allow him an opportunity to pull away from her and jump out of the vehicle by himself. She turned and studied the stately, two-story white house with square-cut columns supporting the roof of the wide front portico. The property held several mature trees that shaded the home. The lawns were trimmed and well-maintained flowerbeds bordered the structure.
Marcus, sitting next to the driver on the front bench, twisted in his seat until he faced her. “This is it, Penelope, my sister Millie’s house. We’re home—as home as we can be for now.” He turned forward once more and pointed to the drive leading to the back of the property as he gave directions to the driver.
Jeremy stood on his knees and pointed toward the house. “We gonna live there now, Ma?”
The surrey lurched forward, and Penelope tightened her grip on her son. “Sit down, Jerry, until your pa is ready to help us out. That is your Aunt Millie’s house. It’s where your brother, Theo, has been staying while he attends school. We’ll live here for a few weeks until your pa and I can find a new house of our own.”
As the surrey turned so she could see the back of the building, she studied the wide stone walkway that led from the drive to the rear porch. Upon hearing the back door slam shut, she raised her gaze in time to see her stepson, Theo, bound down the stairs to join them. She marveled how much he had grown—had matured—since she last saw him a year and a half before. A smile—an expression she had not seen often on Theo during the year he lived with her and Marcus at Fort Larned—brightened his face.
Theo loped toward the surrey. “Pa! You’re finally here.”
Marcus barely stepped out of the surrey and clasped the hand Theo extended. “I’m so happy to see you, Theo.” He then pulled Theo close and wrapped his other arm around the young man’s shoulders. He hugged his son tight against his chest. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you, son. I’m so happy to return so we can live together again as a family.”
Tears filled Penelope’s eyes, and she swallowed as she watched the reunion between the two. In spite of sounding so much deeper than she recalled, she recognized her stepson’s voice as soon as he spoke. She knew of the many times Marcus had mentioned how much he missed Theo and how he longed to see him again. However, a year after Theo came to live with them at the fort, Marcus and Theo agreed it was better for Theo to return to his aunt’s home to continue his education.
Penelope reflected on the challenges she and Marcus faced living with Theo that year. Before he arrived, Marcus had not realized the extent of his sister’s warning that Theo was at a difficult age. Marcus had traveled to Fort Hays with an escort patrol accompanying a stagecoach and met Theo at the railroad depot where the rail steward charged with Theo’s care turned him over to his father. An extremely surly Theo arrived at Fort Larned just before Thanksgiving of 1867. Theo deeply resented his father for being on the Kansas frontier instead of in Springfield.
As happy as he was to see his father, Theo hated everything about being at Fort Larned. He hated that his father remarried, especially once he found out how much younger than his father his new stepmother was. He resented sharing a room with Jeremy—just sixteen-months-old when Theo arrived. He often chose to sleep in the main living area rather than have Jeremy wake him by climbing onto his bed and begging Theo to play with him. He considered the fort school he attended to be rudimentary and far behind in their curriculum.
It had taken all the patience Penelope could muster to deal with Theo. She did her best to make him happy and fill his needs for two reasons—she loved her husband, and Theo reminded her of the brother she lost. She did her best to control Jeremy’s toddler impulses. After she and Marcus ordered in math and history books more in line with the level of education Theo had been receiving in Illinois, when Marcus’s duties kept him from the house, she ignored her stepson’s snide remarks and did her best to tutor him. When it came to the advanced mathematics, she found herself up late studying so she could stay one step ahead of him.
All of this had been made more difficult when, about a month or so after Theo arrived, Penelope realized she was with child.
Learning that he would soon have a half-brother or sister proved to be another irritant for Theo. He resented that the new, young wife would give his father another child who would compete with him for his father’s attention and affection.
1868 proved to be just as volatile on the Kansas frontier as the year before it had been. As the weather cooled, and Marcus anticipated the time for hostilities to lessen as the various tribes settled into their winter camps, both he and Theo agreed, for the sake of Theo’s education and his goal to read for the law, he should return to live with his aunt in Springfield.
The fact that Marcus could not leave and return to Springfield with him had proved another source of contention and several discussions that turned into arguments between father and son. Theo could not understand the nature of his father’s obligation to the Army.
Penelope recalled one of the last she witnessed. A month away from delivering Sarah, she sat on the sofa in the parlor hemming a baby gown while her husband and stepson sat at the dining table mere feet away.
Marcus, an edge of frustration in his voice, leaned toward Theo. “Theo, I can’t just say, ‘I quit’ and leave with you to go to Springfield. I signed a five-year enlistment. I’m not free to leave the Army until June of 1870. If I did, I would end up in the stockade at Fort Leavenworth an
d be court-martialed. I might not be released from military prison until after you’re old enough to have grandchildren.”
“Why? Why did you reenlist? I understand about you leaving to help soldiers during the war. But, once it was over, why didn’t you come home?”
“I did come home to see you, remember?”
“Yes, but you didn’t stay. You left me with Aunt Millie and came out here. She was angry with you for leaving us, too, just like I was.”
Marcus leaned back in his chair, a wistful expression on his face. “It’s hard to explain the reason I left, Theo, especially to someone your age. I’m grateful you have no idea what being in the midst of wartime conditions, year after year, can do to a person. Even though I didn’t join the fighting ranks, I never knew when a company of enemy soldiers might overrun our makeshift surgery positions, shoot me and my patients, or capture me to force me, as a prisoner, to tend to their wounded. It’s hard to explain what it’s like to see so many men torn apart by bullets and grapeshot, day after day, to remove so many damaged limbs, to fight to save lives, only to have so many of the wounded we treated die days, or weeks, later of infection.
“As much as I wanted to be with you, Theo, back then, I felt like I had nothing to offer you or anyone else. At home, everyone was tired of war. People who had not been involved in the battles and had not seen the carnage wanted to go on with their lives like the war had never happened. For me, that was an impossibility. My memories of the war were still too vivid. After the horrors I’d seen, I could not bear to sit in a comfortable office and listen to patients prattle about minor ailments. I could not act, or talk to others, like the previous four years never happened. I felt lost and out of place.
“That was why I signed up to serve in the frontier Army. I understood being a military surgeon. I knew how to treat battle wounds. Through my apothecary work and being a surgery assistant with Dr. Sterling, I had learned enough to know better than most how to effectively combat infection. I knew I was needed here. I believed serving for five more years would give me time to figure out what I really wanted to do with my life.”