by J. L. Beck
If it wasn’t my kitten, then it wasn’t anyone.
“Are you going to be okay?” Darren’s voice carried down the hall and vibrated through me. Hadn’t I told him to leave?
“Go away.” I grumbled sagging against the mattress, the same mattress where I claimed her for the very first time. I didn’t hear Darren’s voice again, and I hoped he had taken my advice and left. Emotions overwhelmed me, and I pulled my iPhone out of my jeans, my fingers gliding across the screen as I stared at the picture that graced it.
I had gotten one picture of her while she was here with me, one single picture and I would cherish it so long as lived.
“Be a man…” I muttered to myself, feeling tears sting my eyes. I couldn’t cry over her, I couldn’t. I’d lost men at war, watched people I love lose their fight with cancer but nothing broke me like losing Bridget.
The desire to text her was consuming me, so I typed out the message I wanted, the words a jumbled mess, then I clicked on her name and hit send. I shouldn’t have done it, I know, but I had to I had to tell her how I felt even if it was wrong.
I slammed back onto the mattress, tears slipping from my eyes. I had let her go. I didn’t fight for her, for us, and the pain I was feeling was my own, for being stupid enough to think I could live without her.
The sound of my phone ringing registered somewhere in my mind, and I clutched it to my chest like a lifeline, watching Bridgets name flash across the screen.
I hit the green answer key, her sweet voice filling my ears. “Are you okay, Reid?” I could tell she was panicked, afraid even, and I hated that I had stirred that emotion in her.
“I’m not. I miss you, so fucking much.” I whispered the words, feeling as if I was talking to the memory of a ghost instead of actually her.
“Reid.” She said my name with so much anguish I could feel the words stabbing deep into my heart. I bit my lip, stifling the sadness that wanted to escape them.
“I should’ve told you.” The words vibrated through me.
“Reid, I have to tell you something.” I sat up in the bed, clutching the phone to my ear tightly, waiting for her to speak again.
“What is it, kitten?” I waited with bated breath to hear what she had to say.
“I’m pregnant, and my dad knows, and he’s livid…” I blinked, the whiskey in my veins evaporated into the air. As soon as the words slipped from her lips and through the speaker on the phone, I sobered up.
“Pregnant? How?” I asked myself more than her. She told me she was on birth control, did she lie?
“You’re the daddy, Reid. I forgot my pills and didn’t realize it until I got home. I’m sorry.” She sniffled, as if she was on the verge of tears. My heart shattered into a million pieces hearing the sadness that radiated out of her voice.
“Daddy?” I whispered the word, letting it sink in. I was going to be a dad. A-fucking-father. Did Parker know?
“Yes, Reid. You’re going to be a dad. I’m sorry, if you don’t want the baby then I’ll figure something out, I don’t want you to be upset with me.” I shook my head, hating that she thought I didn’t want the baby.
“Stop. Shhh, kitten.” I sucked in a breath. “I want the baby. I want you. Fuck, you’ve consumed every single thought I’ve had since you left three weeks ago.” I could hear her gasp through the phone. Did she expect me to be happy that she was gone?
“I thought you were mad at me. I thought you wanted me to leave.” I licked my lips envisioning the things I would do to her if she were right in front of me.
“Never, kitten, never-fucking-ever.” I needed to get to her, to be the man she needed. I’d put a ring on her finger. I’d support and cherish her like a real man should.
“I want to be with you.” She pleaded.
“You will be kitten, you will be. You’re mine now. Our child grows inside you and you’re mine baby, mine.” I growled. I would have to sleep off the whiskey that still coursed through my veins but when I woke up in the morning, I would make the trip to come see her.
“He knows, Reid. My dad knows. He doesn’t know you’re the father, but he blames you. He thinks you let me go out and sleep around.” I scrubbed a hand down my face, anger surfacing fast. Parker didn’t understand the dynamics of mine and Bridget’s relationship, but he would shortly.
“I’ll be there in the morning, kitten, and when I get there you better be ready to go because I ain’t leaving without you.” I announced. Knowing Bridget was carrying our baby inside of her sweet womb changed everything, it removed the need to be away from her, if anything I needed to be with her, inside her, and beside her. Forever.
I would be the man she needed, and the father our child deserved.
“Okay….” Her voice wobbled again. “I…. I love you.” She whispered, her words slamming into my gut. I wanted to whisper them back, and I should’ve but when I said them to her, I wanted it to be right, and right now wasn’t the time to be saying them.
“I know you do, kitten, and when the time is right, I’ll whisper the same words back to you, but when I do...it’s going to be perfect because you deserve only the best.” My eyes felt heavy, and my breaths evened out as I waited for Bridget to say something.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight, Reid.” She spoke softly, and then the line went dead. I sagged back against the mattress, my eyes closing, the things Bridget had just told me running rampant in my mind.
I was going to be a daddy. I was going to be a husband. I was going to be the best fucking man I could be for my sweet little kitten and the best fucking father to our sweet baby growing inside her belly.
CHAPTER NINE
BRIDGET
I wrung my hands together in despair. Daddy was being ruthless with his comments, and though I tried to shrug them off, they were starting to get the best of me.
“We’re going to go straight to Reid’s house and you’re going to tell him and I both who you slept with.” His voice radiated disapproval. I knew he wanted the best for me, but what he didn’t know was that Reid was the best.
He was the man I had wanted since I was a teenager. I saved myself for him, and now we were going to get our own happily ever after. I wish I could bravely tell my daddy that and have him understand, but I knew he wouldn’t.
They had been best friends for years and Reid was supposed to be like an uncle to me, but he never was. He was always something more in my eyes. I couldn’t believe a piece of Reid was growing inside of me.
Our baby.
“Do you hear me Bridget? Do you? This is going to ruin your life. This boy, whoever he is doesn’t care about you. All he wanted was to screw you and now look, look what you’ve done to yourself.” I swallowed down the words that I desperately wanted to say. Reid wasn’t a boy, he was a man and he would make right of his word to me.
“I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you, Daddy.” My eyes slipped to the floor. I had more than disappointed him. I had enraged him. He was furious with me.
“Disappointment isn’t even the word I would use. I should’ve known Reid wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on you.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “This is my fault. Dammit.” He slammed a fist against the marble counter.
I shook my head, the rage in his eyes scared me, but it also made me angry. He couldn’t blame himself, but he couldn’t blame Reid either. This was all on me. I had forgotten my pills, and I had come onto Reid.
“It’s not your fault.” I mumbled, resting my hand against my belly. My father’s eyes drifted downward to wear my hand settled against my stomach.
“Don’t cradle your belly like you care about that baby. You don’t, because if you did you wouldn’t have just slept with anyone willing to give you the time.” I exhaled, trying to remind myself that he didn’t know it was Reid who was the father.
“I care.” I lifted my eyes to his, seeing the anger in them burn. I loved my daddy more than anything in the world, but I couldn’t handle his hate towards me right
now.
“Reid will pay for this. Best friend or not I’m going to kill him for letting you out of his sight. He knows better, he fucking knows better.” Panic gripped me, holding me in place. If he was this angry over something so small, then how would he react when he found out Reid was the one who knocked me up?
“Daddy, it’s not Reid’s fault.” I shuffled toward the living room. It was a few minutes after one and I knew Reid would be here at any minute, or at least I’d hoped he would be. Daddy was getting angrier with every second that passed.
“I’m done listening to you stick up for him. Sit down and think about what you did to get into this situation. Now you have no one but me to support you and that damn baby. What the hell were you thinking, Bridget?” He sneered, slamming a cupboard or two. My heart was breaking at his choice of words. The roaring of a motorcycle filtered in through the front windows and my heart leapt into my throat as I caught a glimpse of Reid pulling into the driveway.
“Reid’s here.” I hollered to my dad, who stomped across the kitchen and into the living room. His fists were clenched at his sides.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” He growled, going to the door before I could. Reid shoved off the bike and strolled up the sidewalk, his form oozing confidence and darkness. This was my knight, my protector, my future and not even my daddy was going to stand in the way of him, of us. I rubbed my clammy palms against my shirt before following behind Daddy. He pulled the door open, a scowling forming against his features.
“Parker.” Reid greeted him, a smile pulling at his lips the second he saw me.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Venom dripped from my dad’s words.
“I’m here for her.” Reid pointed at me, and my father’s eyes moved from Reid and back to me. Anger vibrated through him.
“You aren’t taking her anywhere, not after what you got her in to. She’s pregnant, Reid, and all because I trusted you to protect her, to watch over her, instead you let her whore herself out to anyone and everything.” Reid went from happy to angry in seconds, and I was stuck in the middle, my mouth hanging open at my father’s words.
“Whore? Did you just call your daughter a fucking whore?” Reid was toe-to-toe with my father and I knew a fight was seconds away from breaking out.
“If she doesn’t want to be called one, then maybe she shouldn’t act like one.” The words were barely out and Reid was slugging my father in the face, his fist colliding with his nose, a loud crunching sound filled the air.
“She’s mine, and the baby in her belly is mine. I’ve wanted her since she was sixteen, but I knew better than to cross that fucking line, but now…” Reid’s dark gaze lifted to mine as my father rolled over, cradling his nose in his hands. “Now, I don’t give a fuck. You can say whatever you want about me, but don’t say a fucking word about Bridget.”
I was a ball of emotions. Angry at my father, at myself, at Reid for having to put him in his place. I wanted this to go smoothly, not cause a big huge argument. I wanted my father to be a part of mine and the baby’s life, and I wanted him and Reid to have a friendship.
“You’re my best friend, Reid. How could you even do something as nasty as that?” Horror etched into my father’s features. Didn’t he understand love?
“It might be wrong in your eyes, but in mine it’s beyond fucking right. You’re my closest friend so I’ll let what you said go, but if you ever talk about Bridget, your daughter, my future wife like that again I will knock you the fuck out.”
“Reid.” I whimpered, wanting the moment to end. All I wanted was to be in Reid’s arms and away from the hate and anger.
“Marry? You can’t marry her, Reid.” I could see my father grasping at straws, trying his hardest to find a way to keep me here.
“I can and I will. She’s carrying my baby, and I’m going to do the right thing and put a ring on her finger, making her mine for as long as we both live.” Reid’s eyes bled into mine. My heart was aching, bleeding for him.
“If you do this, Bridget, you will never be welcome in my house again.” I watched as my father, the man that raised me, push up from the floor. He was angry right now, but eventually he would come around, he would have to.
“She won’t need to be welcome in your house. She has me now.” Reid stepped around my father and extended his hand out toward me.
“I have to get my backpack.” I moved toward the hallway, grabbing the bag I had hidden in the linen closet last night.
“You can’t do this, Reid.” My father was pleading with Reid as I reappeared.
“I can and I am. I love her, Parker, and if you can’t or won’t understand that, then that’s on you. When you’re ready, you can come and visit. Until then, stay the fuck away from us.” Reid’s words held a warning and my father stared at both of us in disbelief as we walked toward the door. My father didn’t say another word, not even as we walked out the door and toward the bike. As soon as we were out of earshot, Reid cupped me by the cheeks and pressed his lips against mine.
“I’ve missed you so fucking much, kitten, it’s not even funny.” He whispered between kisses. I missed him, too, more than he would ever know.
“Do you think he will be okay?” I asked, worry, and guilt eating away at me. I wanted to run back to Daddy and hug him, tell him I was sorry but I couldn’t. I was angry and hurt.
Reid grunted in response to my question.
“He just needs time to come to terms with what is going on and when he does everything will be okay. I’m done hiding my desire and need for you and if that hurts your father, then so be it. He’s my friend, and I respect him, but me loving you don’t have to hurt him.”
Reid was right, and even though I knew that, the tears still slipped from my eyes. I felt like I was losing a member of my family. The only person I have ever really had.
“Shhh, kitten. I’ve known your daddy for a long time. He’ll come around. He’s just a hard ass.” Reid assured me, releasing my face, and helping me onto the back of the bike. I adjusted my backpack and settled onto the leather seat.
“We’re going to need to get a minivan.” I joked, taking the helmet as he settled it into my hands. I slipped in on, feeling the tightness against my head. Reid examined it making sure it was snug and in place.
Where was his helmet?
“We will talk about that. I’m not sure I’m ready to rock a minivan yet but we will see.” He smirked, and butterflies fluttered in my belly. Reid. The dark knight. The man I craved and desired since day one was now mine.
“I love you.” I whispered, thinking he couldn’t hear me.
“I know, kitten, and you know I feel the same way.” He took the seat in front of me, bringing out bodies together. I wrapped my arms around his middle as he started the bike. I could see the front door of the house was still open, and a sadness clung to me. I hoped Reid was right that he would come around, eventually.
“Ready?” He hollered over the roar of the motorcycle. The engine vibrated through my thighs, sending pluses of pleasure straight to my core.
“Whenever you’re.” I squeezed him tighter, his scent, and the warmth of his body against mine calmed me. Everything was going to be okay so long as Reid was beside me.
EPILOUGE
One Year Later
REID
The phone rang and rang. Patience wasn’t a strong suit of mine but I stayed on the line, and thankfully there was an answer a few seconds later.
“Hello?” Parker’s tone was full of confusion and bit of irritation.
“Parker, hi. I’m not going to pussyfoot around this and ask how you’re doing and all that bullshit, because I knew you well enough then to make small talk. Come to dinner with me tonight at six. We need to talk.” I was straightforward and waited for his response as he sighed heavily and grumbled into the speaker.
“Where at? Usual spot we used to go?” He asked sharply.
“Yes. I’ll make reservations now for six o’clock. See ya then.”
Parker ended the call without saying goodbye and I shook my head. This wasn’t going to be an easy dinner tonight, but I had to do what I had to do. I typed the number to the restaurant into my phone and made the reservations for this evening.
Parker hadn’t come around when it came to Bridget and I, but he didn’t make any comments about us being together, and we never heard from him unless it was something that had to do with Ellie, mine and Bridget’s baby girl.
I watched Ellie as she laid on her pink soft fleece blanket sprawled out in the middle of the floor, playing with her toys and cooing. She had bright blue eyes like me and Bridget’s cute little button nose. I had never been happier in my life and I never thought the day would come that I’d be a dad, but here I was.
Admiring the beautiful little being Bridget and I had made together, a child of fate and pure love. She was everything and the longer I watched her, the more I thought about giving her brothers and sisters. I wanted more of our love running around and eventually making differences in the world around us.
“Do you think Mommy and I should give you a brother or sister next?” I asked her softly. It was just Ellie and I here during the day with Bridget gone at classes I made her enroll in.
Her education was important to me as was her happiness, and I was more than capable of caring for Ellie even if the shitty diapers made me gag. I wouldn't change any of this for the world. I was wrapped so far around both of my girls’ pinkies and I always would be. I’d do anything in my power to protect these two and to make them happy.
The day slipped by us in a breeze and it was nearing time for me to meet Parker at the halfway point. Bridget had just gotten home from classes and I was rushing to leave.
“Where are you going? Why the rush?” Her eyes widened as though she was thinking something was wrong.
“Oh, just a last minute business meeting I have to attend.” I hated lying to her.
“Business meeting? I thought your work was all done at home now?” She questioned.