by Beth Rinyu
Her eyes shifted in every direction, like an animal backed into a corner. “I can’t. I can’t let him back into your life without me. I won’t!” she shouted. “We’re still married. I’m your wife for better or worse... remember those vows you took with me? And I know we’ll get through this...you’ll see you really do love me and we belong together.” Her voice was riddled with desperation.
“I don’t love you. I despise you, and I don’t want anything to do with you. I just want my son back!” I demanded.
“This is because of her, isn’t it? The girl Edward said you’re with now? You want to steal my son, so she can have him. She’s the one who’s telling you to do this.” Her voice quivered, morphing from despair to desperation to anger in a matter of seconds.
“You’re sick, you know that?”
She shook her head and took a few steps back. “No one will ever take my son away from me, Ethan.” She reached into her pocket and suddenly, I was staring at the barrel of a Smith & Wesson.
“Darrah, put that away,” Edward pleaded.
“If I can’t have my son and you...neither will she.” She cast a vacant stare upon me as she raised the gun, and Nolan’s face was all I could see. I didn’t come this far only to lose him forever. Then there was Jenna, my other reason for living. If this had been a year ago, I would’ve helped her pull the trigger, but I had so much to live for now.
“Put the gun down, Darrah,” I calmly requested.
“Tell me you still love me,” she demanded.
I shook my head. “I can’t because I don’t.” I couldn’t lie, even with a loaded gun pointed at me. I couldn’t bring myself to say those words to her. Her trembling hand reached for the trigger, and I knew it was now or never. I lunged at her, just as the gun went off with the bullet piercing through my flesh. Warm blood trickled from my shoulder, but I worked through the pain, in a race to retrieve the gun from the ground, only to lose.
She lifted the pistol with unsteady hands as the throbbing in my shoulder worsened. “Do you know how much pain I’m in when you say you don’t love me?” She raised an eyebrow. “Probably a lot more than you’re in right now. Emotional pain is much worse than physical pain. First you tore apart our marriage, and now you want my son, and I can’t let that happen. I have two shots left, one for you and one for me. We’re going to die here together. I control who you’ll love for the rest of your life, and if it’s not going to be me, it will be no one.”
“Drop the gun down, now!” a familiar voice bellowed. My eyes shifted over Darrah’s shoulder to Tom, standing behind her with his gun drawn.
Darrah shook her head, her eyes locking with mine. “I can’t,” she whispered.
“Darrah, put the gun down. This isn’t gonna change anything. If you kill yourself and me, where will that leave Nolan?” I tried my best to reason with her.
The wind kicked up, and a strand of her long, brown hair stretched across her face. “He’s already dead,” she whispered.
My eyes widened, my heart sank, and all sense of reasoning faded away. “You fuckin’ bitch!” I shouted, lunging toward her, no longer worried about my own well-being just as a jolting pain shot through my stomach, knocking me to the ground. My hand clenched my abdomen, oozing with blood, and each breath I took became more labored before falling to the ground.
Jenna stood on the beach with her back toward me, turning around slowly with a beautiful smile etched across her face as I approached her. I needed to feel the safety of her arms. I needed for her to make this better in the way only she could. Her long, wavy hair blew in the warm breeze as she waited for me with outstretched arms—so close, yet so far. No matter how many steps I took, she was still out of reach. The smile on her face faded, and she put down her arms.
“Jenna,” I called when she began to walk away. Longing for her touch, longing to feel her lips on mine—to no avail. “Jenna!” I shouted this time a little louder.
She turned around once again, looking past me.
“I love you, Jenna,” I whispered.
Her deep-brown eyes finally locked with mine as a lone teardrop rolled down her face. “I love you, Ethan,” she whispered back. “I love you so much.”
The pain I was in subsided with just the sound of her voice. The wind picked up and the waves crashed into the shoreline. I closed my eyes, and a welcoming calmness found me as her presence surrounded me, overtaking every part of me. I could breathe once again.
“I love you, Ethan…I love you.”
My face formed a smile hearing those words coming from her lips. Her warm, soft hands caressed my face, and I reveled in her touch, afraid to open my eyes and have her be gone forever.
“Come back, Ethan, please come back,” she begged. “Remember your promise…we’re going to be happy together.” Her lips rested on my forehead. “Please, don’t leave me.”
I fought with everything I had to peel my eyes open. “Jen-Jenna,” I managed to get out.
“Ethan!” she exclaimed.
She could hear me. She could finally hear me. I just needed to open my eyes, so I could see her standing by the water, so much like the first time we’d met.
“Wake up, Ethan. Please wake up,” she begged.
The anchors holding my eyes down were slowly lifted and her beautiful face came into view.
“Ethan!” she shouted.
My vision adjusted to the light, and I took in my surroundings. The sound of the ocean was replaced with the beeping of machines, the desolate beach now four walls of a tiny room. The only thing remaining from that dream was Jenna.
“Where am I?” I asked, barely recognizing my own voice.
“You’re in the hospital. You were shot. You had two surgeries and have been here for two weeks.” Jenna’s voice cracked. “You scared me half to death.” She pressed her cheek into mine, choking back a sob before finally relenting and releasing all her emotions. “I need to get the nurse and tell her you’re awake,” she advised after pulling herself together.
“Wait…don’t go yet.” I closed my eyes and squeezed her hand, reliving those last moments before I wound up in this place. “What happened to…her?” I couldn’t even bring myself to say her name.
“She shot herself…she’s dead, Ethan.”
I nodded, feeling no remorse, the same way I had for my father. “She killed him, Jenna. She really killed him.” My stomach dropped. I would have to mourn the loss of my son all over again.
“What?” She creased her eyebrows in confusion. “Who?”
“Nolan.” My voice faltered at the mention of his name.
“No, Ethan. She didn’t. Nolan is with your sister, and he’s fine.”
“What? She told me—”
“She was lying. He was back at the hotel with his nanny.”
I couldn’t contain my smile.
“He’s alive, Ethan. Your son is alive.”
I outstretched my arms to hug her and flinched in pain.
She rushed to my side and smoothed her hand along the side of my face. “Please take it easy. You’re still going to be in a lot of pain for a while.”
I shook my head and smiled. “No. I’m not in any more pain. I’ve never felt better in my life.”
She looked down and me and flashed a caring smile. “Can I please get the nurse now?”
I couldn’t take my eyes off her. This girl. This angel. She brought my son back into my life and she brought life back to me. I owed her everything.
“Hello, earth to Ethan.” She waved her hand in front of my face.
“Was that part of my dream or did you really say it?” I asked.
“Say what?”
“That you loved me.”
“No, you weren’t dreaming…I love you, Ethan.”
“I was so afraid I’d freaked you out that night I told you. I thought I lost you.”
“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” She grinned and bent over to kiss my forehead. “I’ll be right back.”
I
grabbed her hand and pulled her back. “You’ll be happy…with Nolan and me? The three of us.”
She pulled in her bottom lip, biting back a smile. “I’ll be more than happy.”
“In the past five minutes of waking up, you’ve made me the happiest man alive. I have my son back, and I have the woman I love. Please just come here.”
She walked back to my bed and took a seat, pressing her forehead to mine.
“You make me so happy, Jenna.” I studied her face a little while longer before she lowered her head on my chest, allowing me to wrap my arms around her and bask in the familiar comfort only she could bring. I played with her hair as the bright sunlight poured through the window.
“I was so scared I’d lost you.” Her voice cracked.
“You didn’t lose me. I promise I’m not going anywhere.”
I closed my eyes, wondering if this was all a dream. I didn’t believe in happy endings, but the girl lying next to me did, and she was determined to make me a believer too.
Chapter 45
Jenna
FIVE DAYS AFTER WAKING up, Ethan was finally released. He was adamant that he didn’t want Nolan seeing him in the hospital. He’d felt he already was going to have a hard time adjusting over the loss of his mother, and he didn’t want to traumatize him any more by bringing him into the hospital.
Nolan was a resilient little boy. It was clear he was understandably missing his mother and the man he believed to be his father. That was the part that concerned me. I didn’t want him to reject Ethan because he believed someone else was his dad. It was going to be a huge adjustment for him, but I was certain with mine and Ethan’s love, he’d overcome it. He’d taken an immediate liking to me and would cling to me each time I was around, and I was certain it was because of the resemblance I bore to his mother. It was love at first sight, the moment he cuddled in my arms. I knew I loved that little boy as much as I did his daddy, and I’d do anything in the world for him.
The detectives working on the case had filled Ethan in on everything. Marcus Withers was Edward’s nephew and a struggling writer. He and Darrah were college sweethearts who’d broken up shortly before she’d met Ethan. But even after their breakup she remained close with Edward and his wife. When she and Ethan began to have problems in their marriage, she turned to Marcus for comfort, which eventually led to their affair. It was Edward who devised the elaborate plan of stealing the story to put his nephew on the map in the publishing world. While Darrah plotted her death as well as Nolan’s to get back at Ethan for his infidelity. Both she and Edward knew Ethan would be too wrapped up in his grief to even realize his story had been published. According to her husband, Darrah was supposed to have stayed back in Washington and not have joined him on his book tour, but her ever-increasing paranoia over his faithfulness got the best of her. Both Marcus and Edward were charged with accessory to kidnapping, and I along with Ethan were hoping they got everything they had coming to them.
“I’m really nervous, Jenna. What if…what if he doesn’t remember me?” Ethan stopped himself just as we were readying to enter his house.
“Ethan, it’s going to be fine,” I reassured him. The time I’d spent with Nolan, I’d showed him pictures of Ethan and told him all about his daddy. Not that I’d expected him to understand at three years old, but he appeared to be taking it all in when I spoke. “You’re his dad. Don’t be afraid.” I squeezed his hand and we walked through the door. He was still in a lot of pain, so we took it slow down the hallway.
“We’re in here!” Helene called from the living room.
“Denna!” Nolan bolted from the couch when we made our way in and was immediately by my side. His smile widened as he titled his head, staring up at Ethan, who was frozen in emotion.
“Nolan.” I bent down to his level. “Remember the pictures I showed you when we talked about your real daddy?”
He nodded, still staring up at Ethan in awe.
“This is him.
“Easy,” I whispered to Ethan when he bent down to get a closer look at Nolan.
He ignored the pain he was surely in and focused on Nolan. Tears pooled in his eyes, and I struggled to chase away mine. I took a seat on the couch next to Helene, and she grabbed my hand as we watched the beautiful reunion play out in front of us. Ethan placed his hands on the sides of Nolan’s face before throwing his arms around him and hugging him tight and picking him up in his arms.
“Ethan, sit down. You’re not supposed to be lifting,” Tom scolded, rushing to his side and guiding him to the couch.
Nolan sat on Ethan’s lap and stared up at him.
“Do you remember me?” Ethan asked.
Nolan nodded. I wasn’t sure if he even knew what he was answering to, but it made me happy to see the smile on Ethan’s face with his reply.
“I missed you so much, buddy. I thought about you every single day, and I love you more than you’ll ever know.” He closed his eyes and rested his lips on Nolan’s head. It was the perfect moment that Ethan never thought he’d have with his son. Tears pricked my eyes, just imagining the emotions he was feeling right now.
I got up and followed Helene and Tom into the kitchen, wanting to give Ethan some one on one time with his son.
“He had a good morning. He woke up crying for his mother, but I was able to calm him down,” Helene advised, both of us reaching for napkins to dab our eyes.
I sighed heavily. That sweet little boy had been through so much in his three short years. “It’s going to be tough on him. I did mention to Ethan about maybe taking him to counseling. I’m not sure how much it would help a three-year-old, but maybe they’d have some ideas for Ethan to help Nolan get through this.”
“I just don’t understand. What kind of mother would do this to their child? Did she even stop to think how this would affect her son?” Helene asked with a shake of her head.
“She was a sick woman, that’s for sure,” Tom chimed in. “Withers told the detectives she was so distraught half the time, that she barely had time for Nolan. The nanny was practically raising him.”
“Well, now he has Ethan and you.” Helene reached over the table and squeezed my hand, meeting my gaze.
I gave her a reassuring smile and she smiled back. It all seemed so surreal to me. Just a few months ago, I was engaged to another man and Ethan was basically a stranger. Now, here I was, willing to commit to him and his sweet little boy forever.
***
Nolan and Ethan seemed to pick up right where they’d left off. Ethan hadn’t left his side the entire day. Nolan began to cry for his mother once bedtime had arrived. Helene had warned that bedtime and morning were his worst times, so I was prepared to handle it. Ethan had overdone it during the course of the day, and I demanded he lie down and let me handle Nolan.
I sat next to Nolan in his bed and grabbed a book from the pile Helene had gotten him. “Oh, this one looks cute…Dragons Love Tacos. What do you think, should we read this one?” I asked.
He gazed up at me with his tear-filled eyes and nodded, moving as close as he could to me. I started to read and his crying subsided as he pointed to the pictures. “Dat’s a big mongsta,” he remarked, turning the page to get to the next picture.
“He’s very big, and look at all those tacos he’s eating.”
“He’s a silly head!” Nolan let out a deep belly laugh, and my heart swelled.
I looked down at him to find him fast asleep by the time I’d gotten to the last page. His head was on my lap, and I couldn’t help but notice just how perfectly round his angelic little face was. I softly worked my fingers through his light-brown curls, wishing things could have been different for this sweet little boy. I rested my head against the headboard of Nolan’s bed and closed my eyes, and it wasn’t long before I was dreaming of taco-eating dragons as well.
I wasn’t sure exactly how long I’d dosed off for, but once my eyes peeled open, I carefully slipped out of Nolan’s bed, covering him up and kissing his cheek. I tur
ned around and gave him one last look before turning off his light and exiting his bedroom. I poked my head in Ethan’s bedroom where I’d left him just a short time ago, and he wasn’t there. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I headed down the hallway to the guest room to find it was empty as well. He was never going to heal if he kept pushing himself like this.
“Ethan,” I called as I made my way down the steps. The dim light coming from his office caught my eye. I gently knocked before making my way in. “What are you doing up?” I asked when he lifted his head from the computer screen.
“I just wanted to do something really quick while I was thinking about it.” He stood up and walked around to the front of his desk, leaning against it with his hands in his pockets.
“Ethan, you really need to go lie down. The doctor only let you leave today because you promised you’d take it easy, and I promised I’d make sure you would. Nolan is asleep. Now you need to go to bed too.”
“When did you get so bossy?” He smirked.
I shrugged. “Maybe after two weeks of watching you lying in a hospital bed, not knowing if you were gonna make it.” My eyes swelled with tears just thinking about it.
“Jenna, really? I’m fine. Stop crying.” He walked over to me and pulled me into his embrace.
I eagerly hugged him back, unable to control my emotions. I realized in those two weeks how foolish I was for not telling him how I really felt about him, scared I’d never get the chance again.
“What’s the matter?”
“I just—” I paused to catch my breath. “I wish I’d told you sooner how I was really feeling—that I loved you. I was so afraid you’d never know. I was so nervous that maybe we were moving too fast and it was all going to come crashing down on us eventually.”
He took my face in his hands and gazed down at me with a smile. “Isn’t it ironic that the one who believes in the happily ever afters was the one who was most cynical?”
I shook my head and managed a slight laugh. “I love you, Ethan. I loved you on the day you first told me, and I loved you even before then. I was overthinking too much, and everything was playing over and over in my head. How were we going to make it work being so far away? How were you going to adjust with everything going on in your life? And in those two weeks without you, I realized…it will work. If we want it badly enough, it will. I know now that when you find the right person, you just know it. I spent three years with Brad, trying to convince myself he was that person, only to find in three short months that it was really you. Maybe that’s what real love was all about.”