by Kat Mizera
“I think my brother is way beyond casual when it comes to you,” Tara said slowly. “He seems crazy about you.”
“And I’m crazy about him too. I just don’t want to jinx anything, you know?”
Everyone nodded.
“That makes sense,” Sara interjected, joining their conversation for the first time. “It’s important to establish a friendship first. Though I don’t recommend taking years to get there, like someone I know.”
“Who?” Charli asked blankly.
“Sorry.” Sara laughed. “I was referring to Aaron and me. We were friends for a couple of years before we finally admitted our feelings for each other.”
“And she doesn’t even know about the hookup in his truck that nearly ended the friendship,” Hailey stage-whispered.
The ladies all laughed.
“There they are,” Hailey said, changing the subject as the team skated out onto the ice for the national anthem. Charli had a feeling there were a lot of fun stories in her future from these ladies.
The game started out strong but Seattle scored first and by the end of the second period, the Blizzard was down 4-1. It looked like they would be done for the season tonight and the WAGs were a somber group as the third period started.
“Games like these are such a bummer,” Hailey said quietly. “Kane is pretty mellow, so he doesn’t get overly upset that the season is over, but it usually takes a week or so for him to get into summer mode. I think it helps that we have kids, because he can’t really be anything but Daddy to them, but for the rest of you, it must be rough.”
“It’s not fun,” Whitney said thoughtfully, “but Jake’s been at this a long time, almost fifteen years if you count college, and he tends to take it in stride. It’s part of the game and the lifestyle. I feel bad for those of you going through it for the first time.” She turned to Charli. “My gut tells me Miikka wouldn’t take out a bad mood on you, but I don’t know for sure.”
“No.” Charli shook her head. “In fact, he mostly works through his frustrations by getting me naked. Once we’ve had sex four or five times, he’s totally relaxed.”
“Four or five times…in one night?” Whitney asked.
Charli bit her lip to hide her smile. “Um, yes. Miikka is…special in that department. Like three minutes and he’s ready to go again.”
“Three…” Tara held her hands over her ears. “No, please, I can’t hear this about my brother. La la la la la…”
The others all started laughing.
“For real?” Hailey whispered to Charli. “Four or five times a night? All the time?”
“Not every time, but lately, yes.” Charli eyed all of them, suddenly suspicious. “That’s not the norm, is it? I only have two guys to compare him to and we didn’t do sleepovers so I don’t know.”
“Early on, when it’s super new and you can’t get enough of each other,” Sara said slowly, “absolutely. But beyond that? No.”
“And three minutes to get it up again? I have no complaints, but that’s sixteen-year-old boy level stuff.” Whitney was smirking at Charli.
“I’m dead,” Tara moaned.
“And so is our season.” Whitney sighed. The Seattle team had just scored again.
18
Even after a heartbreaking game, the guys wanted to go out, and Miikka figured it was better than sitting at home moping. Besides, he wanted to spend a little time with Tara because even though he loved his sister, he wasn’t going to spend the night at his house instead of Charli’s. He figured Logan could drive her home after they’d had a few drinks and something to eat. He’d just make sure to get up at a reasonable time to either go pick her up or have Logan drop her off at Charli’s house.
Henley’s Pub was a medium-sized sports bar not far from where Charli lived, and the guys liked going there because it wasn’t near the arena and probably didn’t have as many fans that would hound them for autographs while they tried to relax. The food was good and the drinks were reasonably priced, so it was rapidly becoming the team’s hangout of choice.
Tonight it seemed like half the team was here, even many of the married guys. Sergei and Dani had gone home because Niko had been at the game, but Kane and Hailey, Jake and Whitney, and Aaron and Sara had come out, along with Logan, Ryder, Donovan and Coach Riser.
“When are you heading home, Coach?” Donovan asked him as they all settled around two high-top tables.
“Day after the final game, so I’ve got just under a week. I’ll have some paperwork to take care of, but I’ll be on a plane the next day.”
“Bet your wife will be happy to see you,” Sara said with a smile.
Coach Riser nodded. “And my son, Shay. He’s playing hockey now and every night on the phone I get the play-by-play of practice, whether it’s with the team or on his own. He’s taking skating lessons this summer and apparently I’m going to be at all of them.”
Everyone chuckled.
“I am excited to teach my child to skate someday,” Miikka said. “Girl or boy, doesn’t matter, but they will skate.”
“And play hockey.” Tara nudged him. “You made me learn.”
He grinned at her. “And you love it.”
“True.”
“You played hockey?” Sara asked her.
Tara nodded. “When I was a teenager. Obviously, I’m not my brother.”
“We have a women’s game that we play once a month,” Sara said. “You should play with us.”
“If I’m still here, I’d love to. I’ll need equipment, though.”
“I’ll find you some,” Miikka told her.
Conversation continued about hockey and tonight’s game but Miikka noticed Charli was quieter than usual.
“You okay?” he whispered in her ear as their food was delivered by the waitress.
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Why are you so quiet?”
“I’m fine, really. I’m just tired and I have to get up early tomorrow.”
“We’ll eat and go, okay?”
“You should spend time with your sister. It’s silly for you to come home with me when I have to be up and out of the house so early. Go home and get Tara settled, and I’ll see you tomorrow after work, okay?”
“You sure?” He wasn’t sure what to make of this since he had every intention of being with her as much as possible.
“Yes.” She plucked a fry from his plate and kissed his cheek. “I’m going to go get some sleep, though, okay?”
“I’ll walk you out.”
She said her goodbyes to everyone and Miikka walked her out to her car, his fingers laced with hers.
“You sure you don’t want me to come over?” he asked as he leaned in to kiss her.
“I’m positive. Honestly, I can’t do another all-nighter of sex and then have to teach all day. I’ve been exhausted.”
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I’ll be more…” He couldn’t think of the word. “You know what I mean; I’ll think about your schedule more when we’re together, but the school year is almost over, yes?”
“Yes. About a month.”
“And then maybe we go on vacation?”
“Aren’t you going back to Finland?” She seemed almost wary as she asked him the question.
“I haven’t thought about this,” he admitted. “Usually I go, but I haven’t bought my ticket yet and Tara just arrived, so not for a while. If I go, would you like to go with me?”
She hesitated. “You want me to meet your family?”
“Of course. Why not?”
“I don’t know. It feels kind of soon. It’s only been, like, a month, Miikka.”
“Jaana and I were together for thirteen years and she was not the right woman for me. Has nothing to do with time. It’s all about what’s in here.” He tapped his fist against his chest. “Don’t you feel it too?”
She looked away. “It’s hard for me to trust, Miikka. You know that.”
“Yes, but you will trust me. There is no
other choice. I’m not the same as those who hurt you.”
He found her eyes and made sure she was looking at him as he kissed her. “It’s me,” he said softly, his lips skimming hers. “Don’t you know who I am by now?”
She didn’t answer, instead pressing her lips to his and kissing him back, hard, before pulling away and smiling. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
She got in her car and pulled out of the parking lot, leaving Miikka staring after her worriedly. What had brought this on? Something was bothering her, so he’d make sure to talk to her about whatever it was tomorrow.
Charli lay in bed for a long time when she got home, her thoughts too much of a jumble to get any sleep. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she got up and went to her closet, rummaging around until she found the old shoebox she kept mementos in. Roy’s high school class ring sat in the bottom and she pulled it out, holding it between two fingers as she inspected it. She hadn’t looked at it in years, not since she’d come back to Alaska anyway, and she studied the blue stone intently, as if it would give her answers or something.
The past seemed to be coming out of her psyche more and more lately, no matter how good things were with Miikka. In her heart of hearts, she believed Roy had left her because, for whatever reason, she wasn’t good enough. Not because of the baby she carried or because her parents had kept them apart, but because at its core, their love hadn’t been enough for him. It didn’t take a degree in psychology to understand why these deep-seated beliefs had taken root, but pushing past them was something different altogether.
Things weren’t the same now, because even if she never saw Miikka again, she still had her home, her job, Kendra and a handful of other friends from work. Her life was quiet but pleasant, and she’d learned to live without a man. If only Miikka didn’t make her so damn happy. He was the whole package. Good-looking, wealthy, kind, gentle and a fantastic lover. He was practically sleeping over every night already, and talking about taking her to Finland to meet his family made her nervous. That was the kind of thing people did when they were serious, and she was falling in love with him, which meant they were on a path she hadn’t expected to be on so soon.
She desperately needed to rein in her feelings and keep things casual because she liked Miikka more than she should at this stage. And Roy’s ring was a reminder that men lied, that they said what you wanted to hear and then changed their minds on a dime. Even after what Roy had done, she’d tried again, trusting her lab partner during her sophomore year of college. She and Sean had fallen in love, started making plans for after graduation, and then the day before the ceremony, he’d told her he changed his mind about not wanting children, even though she’d been clear that she didn’t. They’d talked about neither of them wanting children many, many times, so his abrupt change of heart had broken hers. She’d never lied about that and he’d been on board. Until he wasn’t.
She’d given up on men at that point, convincing herself she was a terrible person, and opting to focus on her career and moving back to Alaska. She’d lived here with her grandfather for approximately nine months during her pregnancy and just after, and then moved to Seattle to go to college. Her grandfather hadn’t wanted her to stay here during college and she wouldn’t have come back if he hadn’t died and left her the house. At that point, it had seemed fortuitous since there were several job openings for teachers in Anchorage.
She dug into the box a little further and found the pictures of herself and Roy at his senior prom. What a fun night that had been. It had fallen on his eighteenth birthday and her gift to him had been her virginity. What a dumbass she’d been. Hindsight was always twenty-twenty but how had she been supposed to know he would walk out on her the minute things got complicated? It wasn’t like she’d gotten pregnant on purpose. He’d been equally responsible, and in retrospect, it pissed her off that he’d abandoned her like that. Even if he didn’t love her anymore, they’d made their baby together. Their son.
Ugh. This wasn’t a good road to go down mentally, and she put everything back in the box, stuffing it into the back of her closet again. She had to get up in four hours and tomorrow was going to be another long-ass day. More than anything, she needed to stop thinking about the past and using it as an excuse to not enjoy the future. Miikka wasn’t Roy or Sean, and she had to stop subconsciously expecting him to behave like they had. She had to have a little faith, no matter how hard it was. Of course, they hadn’t actually discussed not having children, which might be a problem going forward, but Miikka had said once that he was in no hurry to start a family and that had been fine at the time.
Things were changing rapidly between them, but she was determined to believe in him, and herself, because Miikka was the kind of man she could see herself with forever.
Miikka slept in the following day but found himself out of sorts when he woke up because he’d gotten so used to sleeping at Charli’s. Waking up without her was odd and though he was excited to spend time with his sister today while Charli was working, he wanted to see her as soon as she got home.
“Hey.” Logan gave him a grin as he padded down the stairs. “Tara’s already up. She’s cooking.”
“Yeah?” Miikka grinned back. “I’m a great roommate, right?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Logan laughed.
Miikka walked into the kitchen and found Tara putting something in the oven.
“Good morning,” he said. “What are you making?”
“I found a recipe for a quiche with shallots, tomatoes and Swiss cheese. It sounded good and Logan seemed excited, so we went to the grocery store and picked up some things.”
“We’re going to be spending a lot of time at Charli’s,” he said, putting a pod in the Keurig machine and brewing himself a hot cup of coffee.
“That’s okay. I can bring groceries over there if we do.”
“Okay.” He leaned against the counter. “So tell me what’s up with you. You didn’t just come to the U.S. because you quit your job. What’s happening?”
“I don’t know.” She washed her hands and started putting things in the dishwasher. “I wish I could live here. With you.”
“You want to move to the U.S.?” He was confused. “Why? I’d love to have you, but I don’t know if you can get a visa, and you’d need one to work.”
“Maybe I could be a nanny for a few years,” she said, turning to meet his gaze. “Mr. Caldwell… He said he could use me if I wanted to come back.”
“You spoke to him?” Miikka asked, mystified. “You spoke to the team’s owner? Behind my back?”
“Not behind your back,” she said quickly. “When I was here last time. I wasn’t excited about going back to Savonlinna and he said if my new job didn’t work out, to let him know. So I thought I’d come test out the waters, see if I could find a way to stay.”
“Without a visa or green card, you can’t legally work here,” Miikka said. “Mr. Caldwell might be able to buy you a green card with his money and his contacts, but I don’t know how I feel about you asking him something that big. This is my career, Tara.”
“I know. That’s why I didn’t reach out yet. I wanted to talk to you about it first.”
“I might ask for a trade,” he said after a moment. “Not until next season, but if things don’t start turning around, I’m going to mention it to my agent.”
“I didn’t know you were thinking about that.” She sighed. “I’m sorry, Miikka. I won’t say anything to him then. I’ll just go home when you do.”
She looked so dejected Miikka felt bad. “Maybe we can figure something out,” he said gently.
“You think Logan would marry me so I can stay?”
He chuckled. “I don’t think so, but you can ask him.”
“Hey, Logan!” Tara called out to him.
“Yo.” Logan came into the kitchen. “Is it time to eat?”
“Would you marry me so I can get a green card?” Tara didn’t beat around the bush and Miikka nearly choked as L
ogan nodded, barely looking up from his phone.
“Sure.”
19
Miikka’s truck was in her driveway when Charli got home from work, and she smiled when she saw him and Tara get out to greet her.
“Hi!” she called out. “What are you guys up to?”
“Waiting for you.” Miikka came over to kiss her.
“I should give you my spare key so you don’t have to wait outside next time,” she said, unlocking the front door.
“Good idea.”
“What did you guys do all day?” she asked as she put her things down and kicked off her shoes.
“Not much,” Miikka responded, sinking down on the couch and tugging Charli down next to him. “Tara made breakfast and we talked for a while. I went and cleaned out my locker at the arena and then came here to wait for you.”
“I was going to make spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Does that sound good?”
“I love spaghetti and meatballs but I don’t have a good recipe,” Tara said. “Will you teach me how you make your meatballs?”
“Sure.” Charli nodded.
“Fun.”
“Ryder texted me the information for the company that sells discount tiles,” Miikka said. “Maybe we can call this week and get a quote?”
“If you want to.” Charli smiled at him.
They talked for a while and Charli showed Tara what she wanted to do in the master bathroom. After a while, the three of them gathered in the kitchen and started making dinner. Charli liked Tara and was glad to have both Miikka and his sister at the house. It was the closest she’d come to having a family in eight years and it felt wonderful.
For the first time as an adult, it felt like the past had faded and she was actually…happy. Miikka was a great guy and while she was trying to keep her heart in check, she was starting to enjoy herself. Having him in her life, meeting his teammates and their significant others, and now starting a relationship with his sister made it all real. Searching for red flags was ingrained in her, but Miikka had shown her nothing that even resembled a red flag.