Finding You

  “Natalie, it’s Sunday. Don’t think about work. We’ll see tomorrow. Now I need to go. Thanks.” And I hang up.

  Two hands from behind cover my eyes. Jasmine. Her scent envelops me.

  “Good morning, Spencer.” She whispers. Her warm breath makes me shiver. I try to take her hands, but she stops me. “James, wait.” She seems nervous. What’s going on? I’m tired, I don’t want any more surprises. I leap up and turn. I look at her. My heart skips a beat, words escape me. God, she’s wonderful. I can’t describe her.

  “Umm… My sister had fun playing as my personal shopper. She made me spend a lot of money!” She laughs.

  I take her beautiful face in my hands and begin to kiss her. Electricity runs throughout my veins. She opens her lips slightly and my tongue hungrily searches for hers. My hands touch her hair, neck, shoulders. She is real. I can’t stop kissing her. I never experienced anything like this before. I ache with desire. Panting, I move away just enough to whisper, “Tina, I want you, right now.”

  I take her hand and we practically run back to my place. We rush into the elevator, I quickly dial the code and then turn. She leans against the wall. I keep her firmly in my grasp, she can’t move, and I kiss her again with more passion. My body is pressed against her. The elevator stops. We step towards the door and without letting her pass the threshold, I lift her in my arms. I want her in my bed.

  In the bedroom I regain some control. I unbutton her leather jacket. The tight jeans emphasize her body, her willowy thighs and ass. I unzip her boots and smile noticing the high heels. Her feet are bare, I caress them, kiss them. Bright red nail polish. Interesting. I move up kissing her ankle, calf, knee and thighs. I lift her sweater, as I keep kissing her everywhere. She’s caressing my hair. I tear off her t-shirt while she unbuttons my shirt. Only now do I realize how much I’ve missed all this. I lay on top of her body unmoving, only to feel its shape. I am still, listening to our heavy breathing.

  But we want more. She unzips my jeans and slips her hand inside my briefs. I touch her and feel how much she wants me. She can’t stay still, her movements show her growing excitement. Her caresses, her kisses, how did I last for all these weeks without this?

  I reach for the drawer to take a condom, but she stops me. I don’t understand. She brings my lips back to hers, whispering that she’s on the pill.

  I can’t wait a second more. I look at her as I begin to enter. She is looking into my eyes, the way I love. I never had unprotected sex before, but I completely trust this woman. She moves her hips to receive me more deeply. It’s the beginning of the end. As I slide further inside her, my body vibrates, every inch electrified. My breath is faster and louder. I couldn’t stop, even if I wanted. I’ve never been so out of control. The way she takes every thrust and moves closer shows me I’m not hurting her. I explode with ecstasy.

  Drained and exhausted I release my body to rest on hers. God, this is heaven. I lay my head on her breast while I caress her stomach.

  She looks at me. “Tina,” I say “I was only thinking of me… Sorry.”

  Her voice trembles. “So, aren’t you angry?”

  “Angry? For what?” I need to be honest. “Listen, I never experienced anything like this in all my life. I swear.” I will never forget her hazel eyes at that moment.

  “Umm… about the pill—” She’s embarrassed.

  “I never did it before without protection. It’s fantastic, but I’m afraid I was too impatient—”

  She shakes her head and takes the pillow. She buries her smile in it.

  My pride and conscience are safe. I pull up the duvet to cover us. Outside this room a war could be going on, but I would be happy anyway.

  I think I fell asleep. When I open my eyes I’m alone in my bed. I remain silent but I don’t hear any noise coming from the bathroom. I don’t like when she vanishes like this. Then I hear some noise coming from the kitchen. Here she is. She wears my shirt, barefoot. Her new haircut with bangs is perfect for her. I love her new look. It emphasizes her sensual, shapely body that she used to hide with baggy clothes. She’s amazing, but there is more to this. Her new beauty makes her feel much more self-confident.

  She interrupts my stream of consciousness. “Good afternoon. It’s already three.”

  I smile. She is near the stove, I come close and kiss her neck.

  “When I saw you in Central Park I was shocked. You are so different.” She frowns.

  “In a positive way! I meant that to be a compliment. Remind me to thank your sister for your new haircut.”

  “Spencer, don’t ’you notice anything else?

  I look at her. “Your glasses! You are wearing contact lenses.”

  “Bravo!”

  She has made a delicious late lunch. I tell her that my father has organized a dinner at the Sheraton with several managers of the company for tomorrow evening. We must go. I see a wave of panic in her eyes. I try to reassure her explaining that it’s not very formal and I would like her to meet my father.

  Later that afternoon I show her the documents for the government competition that I’m working on. I made some progress, but there is still a lot to do.

  But at some point I get distracted from work. She still wears only my shirt. We make love on the sofa. It is beautiful, again.

  After a few hours spent checking budget expenses for the new project, I join her in my bedroom. I lay gently beside her, I don’t want to wake her up. She sleeps peacefully squeezing her pillow. I give her a light kiss on her forehead. I feel relaxed. I don’t worry about anything tonight.

  Chapter 29

  Valentina

  I wake up with a numb arm. I open my eyes and realize why. It’s under James’s body.

  Oh boy, I am in his bed. Is this a dream? I observe his angelic face, his scruffy blonde hair, a shadow of a beard. At the memory of yesterday, him and me in his bed together, I feel a sudden wave of heat.

  The alarm rings. I quickly close my eyes pretending to sleep. I stay still. I feel his body moving and the alarm stops ringing. His warm breath on my neck, a caress on my hair and a gentle kiss. I would make a pact with the devil to wake up like this every morning. I open my eyes and see him smiling. I kiss one of his adorable dimples. From the way he moves closer to me, I think a kiss will be not enough.

  First day of work in New York. Thanks to my boss’s insatiable desire, we are late. Luckily, I decided what to wear yesterday evening. A pearl coloured suit with a short jacket and a dark shirt are waiting for me in the guest bedroom. As are eight inch high heel shoes… Help! Today I need to give a good impression, but tomorrow, I swear, I will return to my beloved ballet flats. I check the time. James gave me a total of thirty minutes to get ready. I look at myself in the mirror. Everything seems ok. I grab my purse and rush to the living room, high heel shoes in hand of course. He isn’t here. I have time to lean against the wall and put on those infernal shoes. I am surprised, they aren’t uncomfortable. On the contrary. The problem is walking.

  I feel his hands on my shoulders.

  “Harrison, do you want my company to go bankrupt?” His voice is deep, though joking, and his hands move down to my hips. “How can we get to work on time if you are around dressed like this?”

  “Global Media seriously risks closing if its owner doesn’t hurry up. Let’s go.” I take his hand leading him toward the door.

  When we reach the garage, I am surprised to see all those luxury cars.

  “Boy! Do your neighbours have a fixation with expensive cars?”

  He laughs. “Actually, this garage floor is only for my cars.” Amazed I stop, while he keeps walking toward a Lamborghini. “Come on, Harrison!” He keeps the car door open for me. I swallow and sit.

  After twenty minutes we have arrived. He leaves the car in a reserved parking spot. We enter a complex of several modern buildings.

  “Welcome to Global Media, Ms Harrison.” His eyes shine, full of pride. Inside everything is very contemporary. I follow him. Even t
he average age of the employees is very young. I see some of them looking at me with curiosity. James leads me to a door with two desks on each side and we enter a larger room, which I assume is his office. He throws his briefcase on a chair. Some habits never die. He checks some papers on his desk and I move to the window. You can see only tall buildings from here, but the views are spectacular anyway.

  “I need to stop by Matthew’s office. Wait for me here. I will be back in ten minutes. If you are thirsty there is a refrigerator there.”

  I love him. No doubt. Lost in my thoughts I keep staring outside the window.

  “James, in my opinion, we need to revise this email—” I turn and see in front of me a beautiful, young brunette with a red miniskirt and a white lace shirt. She looks me over from head to foot.

  “Who are you? You can’t stay here.” Her tone is cold.

  “Actually, Valentina can stay wherever she wants.” James is back and his voice is serious. “Tina, this is Natalie Taylor, she has been with us for three weeks. Nat, this is my assistant, Valentina Harrison.”

  Nat? Tina, keep calm and breathe. “Nice to meet you.” I extend my hand. She seems deeply confused. She looks at me, then turns toward James. My hand remains up in the air. When Natalie finally recovers her speech, she addresses James, as if I didn’t exist.

  “She’s not Italian, right? I saw your assistant’s photo on LinkedIn. She can’t be the same person.” She looks at me with disdain. “James, if you wanted to hire someone else, you should have simply told me, without making all this up—”

  “That is enough!” James raises his voice. “I don’t need to remind you of your position here. So, please, show respect and calm down. You should go to Matthew’s office, he may need you.”

  She gives me a glance full of hatred and rushes out of the door.

  “I apologize for her. She is pretty competent at work, but her ego in these last three weeks has grown out of hand. I really needed someone to help me with the government competition, but now you are here.”

  “So, let’s start to work.” I reply. “Where shall I begin?”

  He smiles and points at a big pile of mail.

  My desk is just outside his office and the other desk, beside mine is Natalie’s. She stayed away all morning, so I went through all the mail without interruptions. At lunch time James opens the door and asks if I am hungry. Just like in Milan, when our sandwiches arrive, I take the paper bags and move to his office. I sit on one of the chairs and while eating, we look at the documents I just checked.

  I am back at my desk when Natalie returns with a pinched, unhappy face. She goes straight to her desk without a word. As soon as she sits, her telephone rings. She hangs up and without looking at me, she says: “James says that he will be back in five minutes and wants to see both of us in his office”

  “Ok. Thank you.” Why did he call her and not me? Valentina, don’t start with this silly and childish jealousy.

  He arrives with a tray in his hands and invites us to come into his office. I wonder what he has in mind. He places the tray on his desk. I smell espresso and see the satisfaction in his eyes at my surprise.

  “So, ladies, this morning we started off on the wrong foot. Global Media has a very important deadline in a week. That means that I need the highest level of co-operation from both of you. You, Nat, will update Tina on everything we did until now, but then you will follow her directions. Is that clear?

  “Yes, I understand, James.” Nat reluctantly replies.

  “Great. Now we all can have our coffee—” He says before his iPhone starts ringing.

  While he is talking on the phone absentmindedly I put half a sugar packet in his cup and three packets in mine. Natalie quickly swallows her espresso, I slowly enjoy mine. It’s good! Nothing like that watered coffee I had this morning at the vending machine. Natalie thanks him for the coffee and moves towards the door to return to her desk. I’m ready to follow her, when James stops me. Her face is pure anger. This won’t be an easy collaboration.

  James pulls me toward him and places his head on my breast. He closes his eyes. His almond scent… I missed it like one misses oxygen. Caressing his cheek I ask, “Something wrong?”

  “No, I’m just tired. I needed a moment of peace.” He embraces me sweetly.

  At this very moment I understand what I really want. I want him in my life and will take any risk not to lose him.

  Chapter 30

  James

  To open the door and find her there smiling makes me feel good. The powerful influence she has on my mood still surprises me. But I don’t want to explore why. I just want to live it.

  This evening I will introduce her to my father. She is my assistant and she knows Vic, it seems natural to me that they should meet. I am waiting for her in the living room watching CNN news.

  “James, sorry, can you help me with this button? I can’t reach it.”

  My god! I look at her and catch my breath. “You are so beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” She turns. “Can you button this top one?”

  She wears a dark grey dress that glides down her body. It’s a long dress with a deep slit up the side. The upper part is a strapless bustier with grey tone on tone floral embroidery, her shoulders and part of her back are naked. On her beautiful neck she wears only a thin gold necklace with a grey pearl. I can’t help but kiss one of her shoulders. I help her on with her coat and we leave.

  When we arrive at the Sheraton, I immediately see my father talking to Matthew. We join them.

  “Hi dad, I want you to meet Valentina Harrison. Tina, my father, Mark Spencer.”

  My father smiles and like a gentleman kisses her hand.

  “My dear, it’s a great pleasure to meet you. My son talked to me a lot about you.” Isn’t true! Did I talk to him about her? Maybe, unintentionally.

  “Nice to meet you, Mr Spencer.”

  “Oh, please, don’t be so formal. Tell me about my friend Victor. How is the old fox doing in Italy?”

  “He is a person who sometimes instills fear, but he is a deeply just man. He is respected and also loved at the agency. Although, I think, the first years were not easy for him.” Valentina answers.

  “He has great experience and charisma, yet a period of adjustment is natural for everyone.”

  “Actually, I believe the real problem for him wasn’t to adjust to the new company, rather to adjust to Italian cooking—”

  My father laughs. “Yes, I heard that at the beginning he gained a lot of weight and had to start a strict diet!”

  Valentina seems more relaxed now. Instinctively I place my arm round her waist and my father, who never misses anything, smiles at me with an air of complicity.

  Matthew has remained at his side all this time. He seems nervous. I look at him interrogatively, but before he can answer, I see the reason for his agitation approaching. Eva. He invited Eva! Shit. I give him the evil eye. I will make him pay for this! She immediately clings to Matthew and looks Tina over from head to toe. Valentina is still talking to my father. I need a drink. While waiting at the counter, I see Eva walking towards me wrapped in a blue dress.

  “James, dear, where did you find your new toy?”

  “It’s not your business!” I growl.

  “Oh, you are so sweet. Have you become protective now? Actually, you are a beautiful couple. She looks like a seal puppy and you the hunter ready to skin her alive.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I am talking about what you always do. You eye a naïve woman, you delude her, you screw her, and then you disappear as fast as you can.”

  “She is only my assistant and there isn’t anything between us. She’s not even my type. Perhaps just good enough to have some sex with between meetings.” I cut her short, hoping she leaves me alone. I don’t want her to ruin my evening. When Eva is jealous she can become a tiger. On the contrary she now has a satisfied smile on her face while she is looking over my shoulders. I turn and
see Tina. She blushes and looks down.

  “Your father changed his mind, instead of a scotch he prefers a Bellini.” After saying that she vanishes.

  Fuck me! She heard everything! “Eva, you are a bitch!”

  I chase Tina. “Listen, Harrison—”

  “No, you listen to me. You just said the truth, James. I am only your assistant. There isn’t anything between us. I’m not your type, maybe just good for having sex with between meetings.” She stares at me. “You have only been honest.”

  I remain silent for a moment. “I said what you heard only because I wanted Eva to go away. Do you want to know the truth? Eva and I had a lot of sex together, you and I make love. Eva was good to mess around with, you are the only woman I ever introduced to my father. Are you my assistant? Yes. But you are also the woman I want to spend the night with and I want next to me when I wake up in the morning. What is there between us? I don’t know. This is the truth. I am sorry. I hope the disappointment of discovering who I really am doesn’t hurt you too much.”

  “James, what hurts me is not learning that you had sex with that blonde or that you don’t know what’s happening between us. I’m not sure either. What is hurting me is to realize the opinion you have of me. I don’t need to be protected from women like Eva or Natalie. I am not so naïve as I appear. Please, James, have some confidence in me.”

  “Tina, I think I don’t want to let you see the way I was before… before you.”

  “But I was there! I saw you, James. I saw your arrogance, your fake self-confidence, your anger. I was there and I decided to go beyond.” She sighs. “I decided to love you without asking too much. I decided to accept whatever you were able to give me. As you see, I am not completely naïve.”

  There is nothing I can add. I take her hand and put it over my heart. Why? What am I trying to say? She kisses my cheek but I have the feeling that something broke between us and feel horribly uneasy.

  All the guests have taken their places. We are at a table with my father, Matthew, and unfortunately with Eva. Matt keeps giving me apologizing glances from across the table and that snake, Eva, has a satisfied smile. I sit between my father and Tina. On her left side there is Amanda, the wife of the director of Human Resources. She is a very kind and sociable woman.