by Hamel, B. B.
“I’m afraid I’m falling for a monster.” I felt the words slip out, and it was like speaking them from a distance. I heard them, but I was far from my body, at the other end of a telephone line with a bad connection.
Colleen only smiled and shook her head. “Don’t worry,” she said. “He’s not a monster. And if he is, he’s a loyal monster. He’s one of the good monsters.”
I picked up the toast and took a bite. “Am I wearing your clothes right now?” I asked.
She stood up. “You sure are,” she said. “But keep them. Looks better on you.”
“Thanks.” I ate the whole piece of toast, surprising myself.
She tilted her head to one side, red hair falling down around her shoulders. “Take a shower, brush your teeth, and come downstairs. You’ll feel better when you’re done, I promise.”
“Thank you,” I said.
She nodded, waved, and left the room.
I sat there staring after her for a while. But then I began to move, got out of bed, stretched my legs, finished the coffee, and went into the bathroom. I found a brand new toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste. I brushed my teeth, took a shower, put the same rumpled clothes back on but felt so much better.
She was right. By the time I got out and went down the steps, I felt like a person again.
I found Luca and Steven sitting at a long, wooden kitchen table. Colleen was in the kitchen, doing dishes. I lingered in the living room next to the long brown couch, but Luca caught my eye and stood. He came to me, head tilted to one side, walking softly like he was afraid he’d spook me away.
“You’re up,” he said.
“Sorry if I slept too long.”
“No, it’s okay,” he said. “I’m just glad you got some sleep.”
I stared at him. He came close, stopped inches away. Steven got up, tossed me a smile, and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving me alone with Luca.
He cocked his head and reached out for me. I didn’t flinch away like I thought I would. He drew me close, up against his chest, and kissed my hair.
I let him hold me like that. I felt so selfish and stupid, but his touch felt good, and I needed something to hold onto right them. I knew my mother was missing, I knew she was taken by the Jalisco, but I couldn’t focus on that, at least not for a little while. I needed Luca to take away the pain that had been tearing its way through my skull since the night before, and his touch managed to do that, or at least he managed to soften it enough to be bearable.
“What are we going to do?” I asked, my voice a strangled whisper. I felt tears gather in my lower eyelashes.
“We’re going to find your mother,” he said. “I promise.”
“What if you can’t?”
“We will.” He pulled me away, looked into my eyes. “I swear, Clair. I’m not letting you down.”
“I believe you,” I said, and even if he wasn’t lying, even if he meant every word he said, I knew there was a real chance I might not ever see my mother alive again, or at least not in one piece.
She was going to get hurt. She was going to suffer for my mistakes.
The thought sent chills rolling down my spine in waves.
“We already have a lead,” he said.
“Really?” I blinked rapidly as the tears dropped down my cheeks.
He reached out and wiped them away. “Really,” he said. “There’s a competing cartel in the city and they have a real vested interest in finding your mother and ending this little war once and for all.”
“What do they know?”
“They think they know where the Jalisco are stockpiling their weapons,” he said. “And I’d bet anything your mother’s there.”
“You think we can just, what, go there and get her back?”
He shook his head. “We can check the place out first,” he said. “Watch it for a day or two, see if there are any cracks in their armor.”
“Then we exploit any weaknesses.”
“Exactly.” He smiled and pulled me against him again. “It’s a start, at least. Just something to think about.”
“Yeah.” I felt the words come out a whisper. “That’s right, it’s something.”
“You can do this.” He let me go again and stepped back. “You can see this through.”
“I can do this,” I repeated.
“Stay with me, Clair. Stay with me and we’ll make sure we make it to the end.”
“I will.”
He nodded and took a deep breath. “Come on. We’re going to get something to eat then head out.”
“Where are we going?”
“We’ve got meetings to attend,” he said with a grin. “And work to do.” He reached his hand out and I took it.
I let him lead me into the kitchen where I drank more coffee and helped Colleen clean up breakfast.
22
Luca
Diego sat cross-legged on a bright blue blanket in the grass of Clark Park. The trees were tall, in bloom, rustled in the light breeze. College kids threw a frisbee, laughed at each other. Girls on roller skates glided past, turning slow smooth circles.
“The whole block burned,” Diego said, leaning back on his hands.
“The fucking bastards,” Vincent said, his eyes narrowed. I could see a hint of the Don in him, in the way he held himself, in the slope of his nose, the slant of his eyes.
Vincent was a hard man, just like a Don. Maybe even more dangerous, at least in his own way.
“Torched. Everything.” Diego grunted, and shook his head. “A real damn shame. I saw the house. It was beautiful.”
“You have no clue,” Vincent said. “I lived there for a while. Those were good days.”
“It’s gone now,” I said. “Doesn’t really matter, does it?”
“Guess not,” Vincent said.
“Problem right now is your dad,” Steven said. “We need to find the Don and find him quick, or else the Jalisco might find him first.”
“I doubt that,” Vincent said. “My old man is a slippery little eel.”
“That’s true,” Steven said.
I glanced at Clair, saw her fidget at the edge of the blanket. She looked at the men around her and I could tell she wanted to scream about her mom, but she kept it locked deep down inside. I nodded when I caught her eye, and I hoped she understood that I was on her side, that I was going to make sure her mother didn’t get lost in all this.
“I believe I know where the Don is,” Diego said.
We all stared at him, Clair included.
“Why the fuck didn’t you start with that?” Vincent asked.
“I thought you all knew,” he said. “I didn’t know it was some big secret.”
“He’s been missing since last night,” I said. “Disappeared in the fight. Nobody’s heard from him.”
“We heard,” Diego said. “He sent word early this morning.”
“And?” Vincent pressed. “Where’s my father now?”
“Hiding,” Diego said. “Safe house, somewhere in the city. He said there’s a bowling alley. That’s all he’d tell me.”
I frowned and looked at Steven. “You know where that is?” I asked.
“No clue,” Steven said. “Vince?”
“Yeah, I know,” Vincent said. “I know exactly where that is.” He laughed and stretched his neck. “I’ll make contact with him as soon as we’re done here.”
“Good,” I said. “In the meantime, we need to discuss Clair’s mother.”
She looked relieved to hear me bring her up.
“The Jalisco won’t be kind,” Diego said.
“No kidding,” Vincent said. “They caught one of my boys a few months back. Cut off his—”
“We don’t need details,” I said, interrupting, and gestured at Clair. “For her fucking sake, you asshole.”
“Right,” Vincent said. “My bad.”
“Look, they’re not just going to give her back,” Steven said. “We all want to get your mom back, Clair, but we need to be rea
listic.”
“He’s right,” Vincent said. “I know it’s messed up and she’s your mom, but she’s a low priority. The Jalisco hit us hard and hurt us bad, and we need to be ready to hit them back.”
“The mother, she is no concern,” Diego said, waving a hand.
I watched as Clair’s face drained of color. “There has to be something we can do,” I said. “We can’t just leave her mom in their hands. That’s fucked up, even for us.”
“What do you propose?” Diego asked. “We go ride around city, call out her name until the Jalisco come and give her back?”
“No,” I said. “But we can at least entertain the idea.”
“We’re entertaining it right now,” Vincent said. “And we all know the mother is a lost cause. We need to figure out—”
Clair stood up and an animalistic half groan, half growl escaped her lips. She stared down at us, her eyes wide, her face pale, a sheen of sweat on her forehead.
“You fucking pathetic little bitches,” she said. “You weak, weak, pathetic little fucking assholes. You’re going to just… leave my mom because you don’t want to try and get her back? She’s your aunt, Vincent. She’s your damn family, you realize that, don’t you?”
Vincent’s eyes went wide. “It’s not like that,” he said. “I love my family, but we need to think about everyone else, too. I have a wife, I have—”
“I don’t give a fuck what you have,” Clair said, her voice low and edged. “Your father wants my money and my property. So if you want me to give him a single fucking dime or a little square of grass, you better shut your mouth and do exactly what I say.”
She stood there, breathing hard, and I couldn’t help it. A smile broke out across my face. I looked at Vincent, and even he was grinning.
“Damn,” Steven said. “You’re almost scary.”
“She has a point though,” I said. “The Don wants us to take care of her and her mother. We fucked that up.”
“True enough,” Vincent said. “Damn, cousin. Sit down before you have a heart attack.”
She looked around, eyes all wild. “You’re going to help my mom?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Vincent said. “We’ll fucking do it. Goddamn, just sit down.”
She slowly sat, still breathing hard. “No more lying,” she said. “I’m sick of it.”
I put a hand on her knee. “No more lying,” I said.
“Well then,” Diego said, spreading his hands. “This has been fun. That is one hell of a girl you have, Luca.”
“I’m not sure I have her,” I said, giving her a sideways glance, “but I think I will sooner or later.”
She rolled her eyes but didn’t argue.
“Come on, we need to make contact with my dad,” Vincent said. “Diego, rally whatever guys you can and have them ready.”
“That’s the plan?” Diego asked.
“We’re going to bring every single motherfucker with a gun in this city down on the Jalisco,” Steven said. “We’re going to grind them into the dust.”
“Fair by me,” Diego said.
I stood and took Clair’s hand. I helped her up.
“We’re coming to see my uncle,” Clair said. “And he’s going to have hell to pay for how he fucked up.”
Vincent laughed, delighted, and stood. “Can’t wait to watch.”
“Gentlemen, it’s been fun,” Diego said. “I suppose I will go gear up for war, yes?”
“Absolutely,” Clair said, her tone vicious.
I put an arm around her shoulders, and I felt like I was hugging a lion. She stared at me, eyes hard and intense, and I looked right back. I didn’t need to say anything, and she didn’t either. I knew what she wanted and she knew I’d do anything I could to give it to her, no matter what.
The world was on fire. But we were going to bring more matches and burn the rest of this city to the ground.
23
Clair
Vincent drove me and Luca in his black SUV. Steven left to gather up his guys and get the rest of the family ready to fight. It was time to prepare for war.
I watched the city flash past as we headed into deep South Philly. There were fewer trees, wider streets, tightly packed brick rowhomes. Cars lined the street, making the one-way lanes difficult to navigate.
Vincent drifted past this low building with a slanted roof that had a bowling ball sign out front and the words South Bowl glowing in red neon.
“Here we go,” he said, pulling the car over half a black away.
He parked in front of a house with a green awning over a blue front door. There were bars on the windows, even the second-story windows. The stoop looked like it had been power washed recently and a single folding chair sat in the corner.
Vincent got out, but I hesitated. Luca looked at me, lips parted, eyebrows stitched down in an expression of concern.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Fine,” I said. “I just keep thinking about what they said.”
“Back at the park?”
“About my mother, like she’s… like she’s gone already. Like she’s expendable.”
“You said no more lies,” he said, voice soft.
“I know.”
“Then you have to know that getting her back’s going to be hard,” he said. “We’re going to do what we can, but I can’t promise she’ll be okay.”
I bit back my tears. I wouldn’t care, not now, not when my mother needed me. It was time to get hard, to embrace all the anger, all the pain, all the violence I’d been exposed to ever since getting myself in this shitty situation.
I needed to be more like Luca. I needed to be hard, knife-sharp, ready to kill, to fight for what I believe in no matter what.
If I couldn’t, nobody would.
“Come on,” he said, taking my hand. “Let’s go see your uncle. Find out if there’s even still a family worth fighting for.”
I nodded and let him guide me out the driver’s side door and onto the sidewalk.
Vincent stood up on the stoop watching us. He turned and knocked on the door as we approached. Nothing happened for a few breaths, and I wondered if we got the wrong place, if Diego was wrong about where the Don would be.
But then the door pulled open and Roberto was there, bald head gleaming. He wore a pair of dark pants and a tucked-in white undershirt. There was blood staining the bottom right, like he’d been shot in the side.
“Took you fucking long enough,” Roberto said. He stepped aside and let us enter, giving me a flat stare that I couldn’t read.
We walked into a modest living room. Plush pea-green carpet, patterned wallpaper, TV from the eighties. It smelled like kitty litter and stale crackers. Uncle Luciano sat on a brown leather recliner next to a blue upholstered couch. His right leg was extended out on an ottoman and a heavy-looking white bandage was wrapped all the way around it and stained slightly with blood. He had a white undershirt on and a pair of gym shorts.
The door slammed shut behind us. Roberto crossed his arms and glared at me.
“There you all are,” Uncle Luciano said.
Vincent walked over to his father, knelt down next to him. “You okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” Uncle Luciano said, putting a hand on Vincent’s shoulder.
“You’re hit,” Vincent said.
“Dr. Chen helped me out,” he said. “Roberto too. We’ll survive.”
Vincent nodded, eyes hard. “What happened?”
“I knew that something was coming,” Uncle Luciano said. “I knew the Jalisco were planning something when we found hints about it on that laptop. But I couldn’t know how fast they’d hit, or how hard.”
“I heard they came with serious firepower,” Vincent said.
“Serious, yes, that’s one way of saying it.” Uncle Luciano grimaced. “Assault rifles, hand grenades. They came like it was a war zone, and they tore my home to fucking pieces and killed too many of our men. I barely got out, and would have died if it weren’t for Robert
o.”
Vincent looked at the bodyguard and nodded his head. “Thanks, Roberto.”
“Doing my job,” Roberto said.
“I see you’ve joined forces with your cousin,” Uncle Luciano said, looking at me. “I’m glad you made it out, Clair.”
“My mother didn’t,” I said.
“I know,” he said. “The Jalisco have already been in touch.”
“How?” Vincent asked.
“Called Roberto here.” Uncle Luciano laughed. “Called his goddamn cell phone. I don’t know how they got his number.”
“I don’t either,” Roberto said.
“What did they want?” I asked.
“They wanted to sell me your mother.” Uncle Luciano shifted his position and let out a grunt of pain. “They’re trying to ransom her.”
“What are they asking for?” Luca asked.
“Your money, Clair,” he said. “All of it.”
Silence fell over the room, thick and heavy.
“They can’t possibly think she’ll do that,” Vincent said. “Fazio left her… left her a damned fortune.”
“Maybe,” Uncle Luciano said, staring at me, his eyes not moving from mine. “Maybe she wouldn’t.”
“If she gave it to them, that would only make them stronger,” Vincent said. “Too strong to crush, at least for a while. It would prolong this war by years, cost more lives, more pain and suffering.”
“I agree,” Uncle Luciano said.
“Too many people would die,” Vincent said. “We can’t let them have the money.”
“I’ll pay,” I said.
Everyone stared at me. Vincent looked outraged. Uncle Luciano only smiled. And Luca moved closer to me, his hand coming out to rest on my hip like he was trying to claim me as his own, or maybe to protect me, I couldn’t be sure.
“Will you now?” Uncle Luciano asked.
“No,” Vincent said. “Absolutely not. You can’t be serious, Clair. You give that kind of money to the Jalisco, and I promise they’ll make you pay. They’ll make the whole city pay in blood. We can’t do it, not even for family, not for anyone.”