She cradled him, pulling him closer, winding her arms around his inked shoulders and her legs around his waist, while he pressed his coarse cheek against her chest. His shoulders quaked and heaved with gasps and hiccoughs.
She heard him moan at the same time his body shook.
Oh God.
He was crying.
She ran her hands up his back and neck, trying to calm him while struggling to keep herself together. “You’re all right, sweetheart.”
“I need—I need to . . .”
She kissed his neck. “Tell me what you need.”
“Jesus, it’s . . . it’s, it’s here.” He grappled for her hand and pulled it to his thundering heart. “I’ve never felt anything like it.” He licked his lips. “It hurts.”
“Your heart hurts?”
His face collapsed.
Kat watched the hot water fall down his face.
“It’s yours. All of it.” He blinked his sodden lashes. “I know now.
“Kat, I . . .” Carter lifted his head and, with his nose at the side of hers, his arms wrapped around her, and with the steam of the water cocooning them both, he opened his mouth, gazed into her eyes, and breathed, “I . . . I . . . love you.”
31
With her eyes flickering over Carter’s terrified yet expectant face, Kat found herself without words. Over and over she opened her mouth to say something, something momentous or meaningful, but found that his confession had left her entirely dumbstruck.
He loves me.
“Carter,” she breathed, closing her eyes. “I love you, too.”
His hand moved to her neck, skimming her wet skin tenderly with the tips of his fingers, tracing the pulse point in her neck she knew was going crazy.
His stare remained fixed on her collarbone. “My Peaches.” He pressed a soft, wet kiss to her throat. “You’re mine,” he said with his lips at her jaw.
She nodded, rubbing her cheek against his. The feel of his skin on hers made parts of her body clench and twist in subjugation.
“Every part,” she whispered passionately.
“Jesus,” he murmured by her earlobe. “It’s so— I don’t even have words.”
She knew exactly what he meant. Theirs was a love beyond words, beyond reason, beyond even the two of them. It was indescribable, inexplicable, but unbreakable and unyielding. Their connection, their bond, was sixteen years in the making. Even though they hadn’t known each other and had gone about their lives from one monotonous day to the next, they’d still been a part of each other, a silent, integral part that would always be, for as long as they both lived.
They were both powerless to stop it or deny it.
A surge of awesome strength swept through Kat’s body, pumping adrenaline through veins already hot from Carter’s declaration. It was an uplifting sensation, one she’d not experienced for a very long time. For the briefest of moments, with Carter in her arms and determination filling her from head to toe, she was truly unstoppable.
· · ·
Kat kicked the quilt from off her feet. She was sweltering and, as nice as having Carter’s body pressed against her was, she had to move to cool down.
Glancing at the clock, Kat wiggled out of the bed—where she and Carter had been asleep for the last five hours—pulling her T-shirt off and turning the thermostat down from hot-ass sauna to just warm enough. She hurried to the bathroom, where she splashed some cold water on her face and pulled off her sweats, changing them to a small pair of sleeping shorts.
Kat’s skin immediately began to cool down. With a glass of water in hand, she wandered back into the bedroom to find Carter, still on his back, wearing only his boxer briefs. She smiled when she saw he’d kicked the quilt off, too. His hard stomach lifted and dropped hypnotically as he breathed.
He cracked an eye open and rubbed a palm down the center of his glistening chest, as she lay back down at his side. He looked deliciously rumpled.
She trailed her fingertips through the hair on his stomach. “Hey.”
He turned his dopey, pillow-creased face toward her, smiling lazily. “Hey.”
“How’s your heart?”
He reached for her hand and placed it on the left side of his chest. “You tell me,” he said, piercing her with an intense stare.
Kat bit her lip. “It’s pounding.”
“It always is when you’re near me.”
She took his wrist and did the same, placing his large hand over the top of her left breast. Unhurriedly, Carter lifted onto his elbow, watching his hand and her face with childlike wonder.
“It’s flying.” His gaze moved from his hand, leisurely up the curve of her neck, stopping hungrily at her lips before it rested resolutely on her eyes. His silence made the hair on the back of Kat’s neck lift and tingle, while the air around them began to thicken and buzz.
“Do I do that to you?” he asked, tracing the gooseflesh along her arm.
“Every time you look at me.”
The tips of his fingers danced lightly along the lace edge of Kat’s bra. Her chest heaved at the sensation and her eyes fluttered closed of their own volition. With featherlight touches, Carter moved his hand over to her right breast, tracing every curve, caressing lightly, while purposefully missing the places Kat was desperate for him to touch.
Shifting his body closer, Carter began to draw languid figure eights up toward her collarbone, mapping its shape and pressing against the pulse points in the valley of her throat. It was such a simple thing, for him to touch her that way, but Kat was unable to hold back the soft whimper slowly building with every brush of his gentle hand. His index finger dropped from her throat and meandered knowingly, erotically, down between her breasts, over the fabric of her bra, to the soft skin of her stomach.
Kat held her breath when he reached her belly button. He circled it twice before his finger dipped into it teasingly. Unable to hold her head up any longer, Kat lay back against the pillows, giving herself over to her senses, while Carter continued his wonderful exploration of her more-than-willing body.
“Your skin is so soft here.” His hand skimmed the waistband of her shorts. “So soft.”
Kat gasped when his lips pressed onto the same spot, and purred when Carter’s tongue licked along the trail his finger had just taken.
“Carter,” she moaned.
“What is it, baby?” He moved gradually so his body was leaning over hers.
Kat’s hands moved from his hair, finding his broad shoulders that flexed powerfully under her palms. His chest pressed against her.
“I miss your lips.”
His thumb skimmed her jaw, as his stare burned across her mouth.
“Please.” The word escaped Kat’s lips as a wanton whisper.
Desperate need bubbled below the surface of her skin. The inevitable explosion of passion, always so present when she was with him, was only one touch away.
“Tell me what you want,” he said gruffly. “Keep looking at me like that and I swear to God I’ll give you anything.”
“Kiss me,” she begged. “Just kiss me.”
· · ·
Kat’s mouth, pink, wet, and soft, entranced Carter. They’d kissed a million times, in a million different ways, but her request seemed so fucking huge that, for a split second, he could do nothing but stare. A divine image of her mouth around his dick immediately flashed before him, simultaneously drying his throat and weighing his body down to hers in seconds.
Skin to skin, flush and warm.
Carter tried to calm himself but struggled. Fact was, his body didn’t feel like his own. It was as though something had taken it over, like it was being controlled by something.
Something bigger. Something incomprehensible.
He closed his eyes and exhaled a soothing breath.
Who was he kidding? Kat had taken him over. Kat had control over him.
She’d had a hold on him since he was eleven years old. And if he hadn’t realized it bef
ore, he sure as shit knew now that he’d loved her every second, minute, and hour of those sixteen long years. He’d lost himself to her on a lonely, dark street one heartbreaking night in the Bronx, and now he finally understood that he’d never, ever truly found himself again.
Sixteen years. Five thousand eight hundred and forty-four days.
Jesus, how had he survived without her for so long?
He loved her, desperately, and, truthfully, it terrified him. He’d missed her without even knowing her and fantasized about her whenever he’d begun to lose himself to the bullshit surrounding him as he grew up. If he weren’t so hypnotized by her, Carter would have laughed at his own blindness and the ridiculous denial he’d immersed himself in since Kat had come back into his life.
As subtle as it was, her body writhed underneath him. Her legs shifted against the mattress and her hips lifted, rocking toward him, seeking out any type of friction. She was exquisite. He opened his mouth, gasping into her. His entire body shook when he pressed his lips to hers, and he grunted when she pulled him down, deepening the kiss quickly.
Their tongues met, reunited, touching, tasting, and rubbing together, inside her mouth, then inside his. Carter gripped her waist with one hand and her face with the other as their passion began to snap and sizzle. Sweet Jesus, the heavy ache pounding between his legs was torturous. He ground his hips against her stomach, showing her what she did to him. Not that she would ever understand. She had no comprehension at all.
He’d been such a damned fool to think he could ever get away without speaking those three words to her. The three words he’d never uttered to another human being in his entire fucked-up life. They’d taken his ass by surprise, but the relief that came with them was more freeing than any parole board’s release letter could ever be.
He moved his mouth from her lips to her jaw and down her neck. She bent backward, curving under him so that he could access any place he wanted on her gorgeous body. He began with her chest, yanking the straps of her bra down the tops of her arms so he could pull at the cups, releasing her to his eager hands and demanding mouth. With his eyes closed, Carter began to lick, suck, and tease, tugging her between his lips. He moaned when she scratched his back, pulling him closer while whispering her need for him.
Carter let his lips caress her hip, the soft flesh of her belly, all the way to her panty line peeking temptingly from beneath her shorts. He wanted her on his tongue. He wanted to feel her in his mouth and make her come so hard she’d see stars. He wanted to devour her, bury his entire face in that shit and never come out for days. He wanted her gasping and soaked. He wanted—
“I missed you,” Kat breathed.
Astounded by the pained expression on her face, Carter rested his chin against her hip.
“I missed you while you were gone.”
Carter’s heart fractured. “I missed you.” He brushed away the stray hair lying on her cheek. He shook his head. “God.” He kissed her. “I was a fucking fool to walk away from you.”
Walking away from her was as close to being burned alive as Carter imagined he would ever get. The pain had crippled him, rendering him immobile.
When the boys had visited him in Kill and tried to explain how Max had fallen apart when Lizzie left, Carter had struggled to understand. Now he knew exactly what pain his friend had been through—was still going through.
Carter never wanted to feel that pain again. He doubted very much that he would even survive it a second time.
“I know why you did it,” Kat whispered. “And if you walking away helped you realize that you love me,” she continued in a hushed tone, “then I’m happy you did.”
Christ, she was right. He’d walked away and cracked into a thousand pieces, bare, with nothing to hide behind. Realistically, Carter couldn’t refute admitting his true feelings had been inevitable. And now that his finely executed punk-ass demeanor had been thoroughly fucked, Carter at last accepted just how exhausting it had been.
“Carter.” Kat reached for his hand and placed his palm flat against her heart. “Show me,” she whispered. “Show me how much you love me.”
As his eyes scoured her face in question, Carter’s brain flashed back through all the times they’d come together, thinking about the ways in which he’d touched her, kissed her, moved inside of her. Show me.
At the beach house.
On the sofa.
The very first time they were together, soaked from the rain, desperate, on his bed until dawn.
He’d loved her so much even then.
Without even knowing it, he’d shown her what she meant to him by using his body instead of his shitty, inadequate words. When the sensation of having his body inside of hers had been so overwhelming and he’d been unable to find his rhythm through the thick clouds of need, he’d simply breathed her in, kissed her languidly, or touched her in places he knew made her moan his name.
Those had been his favorite moments. Connected together but not moving. No frenzy. Just being. Those were the moments Carter was most at peace.
He brushed her hair back and kissed her. He was gentle, his mouth pressing into hers only a little, while his tongue whispered across her lips, tender and loving.
You’re so beautiful, his kiss said. You make me breathless.
The moan from Kat’s throat told him she heard it, felt it. He placed his hand on the back of her neck, lifting her to his mouth. She never resisted. She was incredible in her generosity. Pulling off his boxer briefs, he moved over her, shifting down her chin, kissing her throat, and licking her chest. He nibbled and grazed his teeth across her stomach. His hands slid up her thighs, opening them.
I’ve wanted you forever.
Her hands fisted the bed when he laid small kisses from one hip to the other. Kat bent her knees and rested the balls of her feet on his shoulders. He caressed the crease where her thighs met her body and spread her legs farther, as they beckoned Carter forward, her bare skin aching for his mouth. He kissed the top of her cleft, seeing the sparkle of the wetness lying there. Gently, pushing her lips back with his mouth, he let his tongue seek out her swollen heat and began winding it in slow circles that made her eyes roll and her spine arch.
Holy fuck. She was the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted. His fingers moved, slipping easily along her sodden skin, teasing and asking for more with every dip, twist, and stroke. Little by little, Carter pushed two long fingers inside her and moaned into her skin when she cried out and swiveled her hips against his face. She was so warm. He pulled them out and pushed them back in while he sucked and licked her.
“More.”
I’d give you the fucking world.
He hummed and pushed his face closer, shaking his head from side to side, purring against her flesh when her nails scratched deeply across his scalp. His tongue moved faster and his fingers slid deeper, as sounds started to erupt from her, breathless and begging.
“Oh my God. You’re going to make me come.”
Yeah, he fuckin’ lived for it. She pulled at his shoulders, tugging and pushing while her hips ground against him, drenching his chin. She whimpered and called out, nonsensical words pouring from her mouth until her orgasm snapped and shook through her body. Carter gripped her thighs when they slammed shut around his head and she tried to move away from his voracious mouth. He devoured everything she gave him until she was begging him to stop.
I’ll never stop loving you this way.
Eventually, Carter lifted his head and gazed up at her and the glow washing across her gossamer skin. Her chest heaved heavy, spent breaths. He prowled up her body, lathering her skin with kisses, needing the warmth to keep him grounded. He knew he had to be gentle, tender. The fog of lust had started to descend, hot, frenzied, and hard, but he breathed through it. Right then, chest to chest, her hands gripping his shoulders and her thighs around his waist were enough to calm him.
He moaned into her mouth when she kissed him, tasting herself on his lips. He rested his h
ands on the bed next to her ribs with his cock trapped between their bodies, wet, wanting, and thick. Every time she moved, she rubbed its entire length, driving him insane, making his hips shift and rotate. He grunted when she bit his neck.
I’m yours to mark.
She lifted her legs and placed her heels on his ass. They both grabbed for him, their desperation slipping through. Carter let go first and watched as Kat guided him, rubbing the tip of his cock along her wet flesh. He sighed, furrowing his brow, enraptured. Coming together that way made Carter’s bones weak. She was soaked and so soft. Carter pushed his hips a little closer, a little harder.
Carter pulled her face to his, nibbling on her plump bottom lip. Kat’s hand pushed so that—for one incredible moment—he slipped inside. The euphoria that always came with their unions blazed up his back and sent his hips into a frenzy.
“My sweet girl,” he whispered across her throat and slowly began to push into her tight warmth. “That’s it.” A little farther. “Oh fuck.”
He lifted his head and pushed, little by little, until he was completely enveloped by her. He was home. A small sob escaped her, but Carter caught it between his lips. The urge to thrust deep and hard clawed at the base of his spine, and his knees moved upward, pushing her thighs wider apart so he could get farther inside. Their fingers entwined by the sides of her head as Carter pulled back, releasing a long groan of breath. He chanced a look down to where they joined and panted at the sight of her all over his cock, glistening and beautiful.
He gasped, sliding back in. “Do you know I’d do anything for you?” he asked. “Do you know I think about you constantly? Sometimes I think I’m crazy. You make me crazy. I’m insane when I’m not with you. Jesus, Kat, I ache.”
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