Now the kids were older, and able to help out with all the chores. Despite the struggles, she faced life full force with no one's help.
Just because she was late with the payment for the land this year, didn't mean she'd given up the fight. Mr. Coldwell gave no quarter, but somehow she had always managed to overcome. She would again this year, she determined.
She mumbled the same old prayer she'd mumbled for four years. "God, if you see fit, help me, help them."
Her only real problem was that she had no husband to help her. A husband was what she needed. Someone old enough to share the burden with. But where was she going to find one out in the great nowhere? Living on a farm in West Texas was like living on the moon. The chances of running into a man that would marry her were nil here. Marriage was usually accomplished after many months of courtship. Bonnie didn't have many months.
She couldn't afford to move. She didn't have a place to move to. This was her land, at least for a while.
She remembered back once more. She had run to get a coffee can in the kitchen as soon as the Sheriff rode off that day, the tears streaming down her face. There were over a hundred dollars in it. At the time, it seemed like a small fortune to her. With the money and a well-stocked smokehouse full of meat, she felt she could handle things for a while alone.
It lasted nearly four years. She had learned to spend it wisely. But the past year it hadn't rained enough to get a good crop in. She had no way of getting that water to the fields. What didn't burn up, she got to the market the same as the years before, but it hadn't been enough to pay the taxes and the mortgage on her property. And she couldn't get any credit at the bank, she had no collateral.
It seemed everyone wanted to buy her land for the water rights. She could sell the water rights to the ranchers, but she feared for the safety of the children. Men with guns would come, and she couldn't handle that.
The land was valuable because of the water, even she knew that. Someone would eventually try to take it from her. But if she sold the land, where would they live, how would they live? They had nowhere to go, no kin. Living in town was too expensive.
Most of the boys she knew were just that, boys. She needed a man now to help her run this place. It would take a man that was as desperate to succeed as she was.
"Too bad you can't order one, like they do women. You know…mail order brides." Her friend Cassie had suggested that same day.
Cassie Evans was a young and beautiful dark eyed beauty with long dark hair to match and a blossoming figure to boot. She'd been raised much differently than Bonnie, and her every need was met by parents who doted on her night and day.
But they were friends.
Bonnie's eyes grew big, when she heard Cassie talking about mail order brides. The thought never occurred to her. But it was a clever idea.
"Why can't I?" Bonnie asked staring at Cassie. The question hung in the air for a long moment.
"Why can't you what?"
Bonnie glanced down at herself. She was a little too thin, but that came from not eating right. Her hair was blonde and straggly. Her eyes were blue as cornflowers, but there was no life in them.
How could she expect a man to marry her? She'd worked hard for four years, and she hadn't bothered taking care of herself, there was no time for such foolishness. Cassie, on the other hand, had a few chores to do every day and that was it. Life wasn't fair.
Lifting her chin with a slight quiver she boldly proclaimed her idea. "Why can't I advertise for a husband. I need one. I'm going to do it, Cassie. I’m going to advertise for a husband."
"You're not serious." Cassie laughed, then saw the expression on her friend's face. "You are…do you have any idea what you are letting yourself in for?"
"Well," she glanced down at herself. "I can clean up."
"Oh honey, it's not that. But you've got four kids to look after. What kind man would agree to that? My Ma always told me men don't like the burden of kids right off the bat."
"He doesn't have to agree to that. He has to agree to marry me."
"You gonna pay him?" Cassie asked scrunching up her face from the noonday sun.
"If I have too, yes." Bonnie nodded, thinking of the dresses she had made not long ago for a lady in town. She had a little cash.
"It'll never work…" Cassie shook her head. "Besides you can't afford to buy a man either."
"Why not."
"What if he rapes you."
Bonnie bit her lip. "It ain't exactly rape if you are married, Cassie."
Cassie giggled.
"You'd do that with a man you barely know?" Cassie frowned at her as she looked at herself in the mirror.
"He'd be my husband. I'd be duty bound to. Besides, Mama always said you just take it like a woman."
Bonnie didn't let her friend see her frown. She couldn't think like that. She had to be positive. This could work. She'd work on an ad right away. Surely she could entice just one man.
Thinking about the boys in town though gave her doubts. She couldn't entice them. What made her think a man would be different? What made her think she could handle something like this? Still it was an idea.
One word answered her question for her. Desperation!
That night after her three brothers and her little sister had gone to bed, she scribbled on a piece of paper. Her handwriting wasn't very legible.
"Wanted one man to marry. Must be dependable, hardworking and not stray at trouble."
That sounded good. She stared at the words. It wasn't right. Not yet. But she'd get them right, and she'd put an ad in the paper. Of course, she couldn't put it in the paper, she'd have to go over to Mills Pond and run it there. There were too many gossips in town, she couldn't risk that. Yes, that would work. Otherwise, it would be all over Ashville that she was looking for a man.
Satisfied she had figured out another problem, she smiled to herself.
Never in all her years had she contemplated marriage. She had no idea what to expect as far as that was concerned. But she'd learn. And she'd work hard alongside the man that came to her rescue.
She closed her eyes and smiled to herself.
Cassie thought she was crazy. But that was the wrong word. Desperate was the right one. It would take courage to go through a wedding with a man she didn't even know. But she was of marrying age, and there was no reason she couldn't learn the finer arts of being a wife.
She'd start paying attention to her married friends. How did they act? Were they really any different than her? What was the fuss all about? She'd stand up in front of the preacher and say "I do." That would be it. He'd be obliged to help her then, kids and all.
Something niggled in the back of her mind, but she forced it to stay in the back of her mind. She couldn't be hesitant about this. She had to remain strong. Her Pa always told her that things didn't get done, hesitating.
She couldn't sleep that night for thinking of the man that would answer her ad.
Would he be older and wiser? Would he be an outlaw on the run from the law? Would he have a reason for wanting to get married himself?
All these questions dangled, but she shushed them and closed her eyes to sleep.
She'd worry about all that, later!
Chapter Two
The store was bustling with people, and Bonnie moved to a far corner to look at the latest materials. An old man sauntered up to her.
Finally, one day a man answered the ad, putting a scribble on the ad, "meet me at the general store on Saturday, I'll be waiting." It said
Bonnie was thrilled that someone was interested enough to meet her. There were very few people in town that could read.
So on Saturday, she put her best dress on and went to the General store anxious to meet the man.
But she stood around for a long time and no one came.
Then an old man sauntered up to her with a smile. He stared at her a long while, looking at her thoroughly from top to bottom.
She couldn't believe it. This was the
man?
"Excuse me," she turned around to stare at him. "Are you the one that is answering my ad for a husband?"
"Reckon so, are you the one that put the ad up?" the old man said, his mouth crimping at the edges as he finally spit a wad of tobacco in the opposite direction.
She nodded.
"I thought you'd be old and wrinkled. You're just a kid."
"I'm eighteen!" She exclaimed.
She looked him over. He had to be sixty or more. He couldn't stand up to hard work in the hot Texas sun and four kids. He'd never do. But the man was interested and for that she would try to break it easy to him.
"I'm sorry to waste your time. The position has been filled." She explained not wanting to hurt his feelings.
"Oh…that's too bad. I'm used to hard work, and I fancy being married too." The old man folded his mouth and smiled. He didn't have one tooth in his head. She smiled back.
"I'm sorry, but thank you for applying."
"Better take that note down, then." He told her and walked away.
Days passed and no one else answered her ad. Frustration began to build.
She told the kids she was going into town again a week later, this time to Ashville.
"I'll try to be back before daylight tomorrow. But don't worry if I'm not…"
Daniel her oldest brother nodded, bowing himself up as the man of the house. "I can take care of things. I'm nearly sixteen now. And I know how to shoot, too."
"Don't kill no one Daniel. I don't want to have to visit you in jail." She smiled at him.
"I won't." He smiled confidently. "What are you going in town for anyway?"
"To find me a husband."
"A husband….but why?" Daniel looked startled. "We got too much work to do, to worry over stuff like that."
"That's why I'm goin'. To help us out of this mess we are in. That's for what, now you mind your manners while I'm gone." She instructed the little ones. "You mind Daniel. He's in charge."
"Don't worry. I can handle it." He assured her.
"I know Daniel, and I appreciate it. Stay close to home until I get back."
"Yes ma'am." Daniel seemed proud to step up in her place.
She walked to town. It was hot and she was sweating by the time she reached the outskirts. She hadn't taken into account how she'd look after walking six miles in the heat. Her dress was dusty too, and her shoes were a mess. The mule had worked extra hard that week and she didn't want to overdo him. Her Pa had told her that a mule would last for years if he were taken care of properly.
Her hair was frazzled, but her mind was clear.
She knew what she had to do.
The countryside was boring. Endless miles of nothing, she felt her heart grow heavy. Long ago, she had lain in the tall grasses and looked up at the white clouds passing her by, making up things from their shapes. Today, they were merely clouds.
The town rolled up from nowhere, practically. It was busy with people coming and going. The blacksmith hammered in the distance. Wagons rolled down the main street. Horses hitched to the hitching posts, in front of the saloon. Men staggered out of the saloon, most of them wasted on the likes of whiskey. It seemed the busiest place in town. Music filtered out of it's doors.
Bonnie walked on. There was an unusual building at the end of the street, it was adobe, with no front door and odd fans hanging from the ceilings. She went inside and eyed the people there.
One man stood out from the rest, why she did not know, but he was a very good pool player and everyone had put their money on him. He had lots of dark hair, and nice eyes, that spoke of kindness. From watching, he seemed to have an edge over the other players. He was smarter.
She needed a smart man.
She watched as he got the shot no one else could. Putting aside her shyness, she approached him from behind.
"Sir, excuse me sir, but…could I talk to you?" She said, trying to keep her voice steady, and her glance straight into his dark blue eyes.
Something familiar ran through her as she stared at him.
The man frowned at her, then glanced at her up and down.
He stared into her eyes. That same familiar feeling made her heart beat faster. "What do you want kid" The man asked as he finished his last round of pool.
"Well, I don't rightly know how to ask it." She bent her head and blushed. As bad as she needed his help, it was still hard to ask such a question of a stranger.
"Well, now you interrupted my game, so if you want to talk to me, be quick about it. I'm playing pool, can't you see?"
His impatience played on her nerves.
"Yes sir…this will only take a minute. Can you step outside on the boardwalk with me?" She glanced around at the men staring at her.
He frowned and rubbed his chin. His partner at the table laughed. "Oh, go on, see what the kid wants."
Bonnie shot the other man a quick frown. She was no kid.
"Alright, but hurry up kid."
They moved just outside the pool hall and he looked down into her eyes. "Okay…so what do you want?"
"Well, I-I came to find a husband. And I sorta picked you."
He stared at her a long moment. "Y-you came to find a husband, you say?" He laughed out loud. Staring into her eyes, he saw no smile. His expression changed.
Again she bent her head and nodded. "Yes sir."
"What's wrong with you? You with child or something?"
"No sir. But I do have youngins at home?"
He squashed his cigarette on the boards and downed his beer in his hand, then wiped his mouth. "Girl, go home, grow up and come back to see me in about four or five years." He pushed back his hat, displaying a thick head of black hair.
She swallowed hard, and tossed her hair over her shoulders, her chin jutting up at him. "I'm of age."
He didn't say anything, perhaps she shocked him.
"Well…what you got to say on the matter?" She challenged him.
"What are you after, girl? If it's money, you got the wrong cowpoke."
"I need help…"
"What kind of help?"
"I got mouths to feed, and I can't grow anything on my place because I have no seeds. I got plenty of water, everybody around wants my water, but I got no seed left to plant. Everyone wants my land, but we can't sell it. We have no place to go. No folks. So I'm asking you to marry. What is your answer."
He put the cue stick down close to the rocking chair and moved toward her.
"You want me to farm your land?" His voice held incredulous patience.
"Yes…"
"Then why not just hire me? Instead of asking me to marry you. Seems like an extreme way to get help, don't you think."
"Maybe, but it's the only way to be sure you'd stay. Because, as a hand, you might work a week or a month, but when you got an itch you'd move on, and I'd still have the problems. If we marry, you will be obligated."
"I would huh? You sure come up with some strange notions, girl. Where are you from?" He stared at her, his eyes going all over her with interest. "And what makes you think a married man wouldn't leave?"
"You might, but you'd carry it with you. You'd feel guilty for a long time, leaving me and the kids. It would eat at a decent man, what he done. And you looked to me like a decent man. That's why I asked you to marry. I wouldn't bother with the no-accounts."
Something in his expression softened. "You have kids?" He almost laughed at the notion.
"Three brothers, one sister."
Something changed again in his expression. "Where's your folks?"
"They're dead. Been dead four years. I've managed until now. But if I don't get a crop in and soon, we'll have to sell out. The money my folks left us is gone. The bank won't wait. And I don't know where to go, or what to do. There ain't much work in town, for a girl. I refuse to be one of them." She nodded her head in the direction of the saloon.
A smile curled around the man's lips. His eyes softened on her for a moment.
He took her chin an
d pulled it up so he could look into her eyes. The way she stared back had him swallowing hard. "You been takin' care of your family alone, for four years?" He sounded incredulous again.
"Yes…"
"Well, honey, I can't help you. I'd like to of course, but not me. Run along home girl. I can't help you. I couldn't marry a girl like you…"
"Why…what's wrong with me?" She glanced down at herself.
"You're too young, that's what."
"But…I'm eighteen."
"Git…" He hollered.
Hanging her head, she began to walk off.
She walked down the boardwalk, casting him a look over her shoulder. She wished he'd have said yes, not only because she was hot and tired, but because she saw some good in him and knew he would do right by her if they married.
She'd failed. Again. What was she doing wrong?
Was there any way to ask a man to marry that worked? Why couldn't she find a husband? She wasn't pretty, but she was a fully grown woman.
Her stomach growled, but she had little money to eat on. After she'd walked the entire town, and asked several men the same question she came to sit in the rocker in front of the pool hall, exhausted and hot. The other men had been worse, laughing at her like she was crazy or a fool. Perhaps she was. But desperate times called for desperate measures, her daddy had often said.
The fans inside sent a breeze out and she relaxed. It was the coolest place she had found in town. The only other two buildings in town that were unusually nice was the big brick walled bank and the log cabin like church at the end of town. It was uncommonly beautiful, she acknowledged.
But the people, they just didn't cotton to her. They all thought she was out of her head.
Too young? How old did she have to be? True, she didn't have a lot of meat on her bones, but a few good meals would fix that.
She'd listened to a few conversations during the day and wondered why women beat around the bush to make a point. She was in fact point blank. Maybe that was what she had done wrong all day. Some of the women fluttered their lashes at the men, some of them seemed helpless in even getting up into a wagon by themselves. She didn't understand it.
Brides of the West-Part One Page 2