He knocked again. Still nothing. He started to walk off, figuring they were all in bed.
Directly Bonnie came from around the house. "Dal, is that you?" She called in the darkness, her arms full of firewood.
"Bonnie. I'm sorry I'm here so late, but I got to talk to you."
She glanced around, but hearing the seriousness in his voice made her pay attention. She set the wood on the edge of the porch. "Let's go in the barn, so the kids won't hear, then."
"Alright." He followed her inside. She was wearing overalls and a tattered shirt, her hair was in pigtails and she looked so young again. Eighteen just didn't register with him.
She lit a lantern and turned around to look at him.
"Now what has brought you this time of night out here?"
He came closer. "You're in trouble Bonnie, and I want to help you."
"Trouble? What are you talking about?" Her long lashes flew up and her eyes widened.
"I overheard a conversation in town. About this land and you kids."
"I keep telling you I am of age now, you just don't see that." She turned away, as though he'd hurt her feelings.
For a split second, he wanted to take her in his arms again, and relive that kiss he'd stole earlier, but good sense had him ignoring his urges.
"Bonnie, I know you are. I gotta admit, I didn't see it in you at first. But that don't matter now." He cleared his throat and distracted himself from that subject. "We got bigger problems. The big ranchers around here, need your water. And I mean they need it now. They are desperate, and desperate men do dumb things. You and the kids aren't safe alone out here."
"I know that." She said, facing him once more, holding her chin proudly. "But we ain't got no place to go, Dal. This is our home. What there is of it. They've come upon me several times this year, wanting to buy the land. I told them no. I know they need the water. And I'd love to give it to them, but, I'm feared for the kids. They might harm them. When men like that come on the property, with guns. It scares me. I'd die if anything happened to one of the kids. And that is my first concern, keeping them safe. First drunken cowboy that got loose could mean trouble for all of us. I'm not dumb. And because I am grown now, I'm more careful than I used to be. I know the things that could happen. So far, I've been lucky, I guess. Or God is watching after us, I don't know."
"You had more advantage when you weren't grown." He cast her a wayward smile.
"I know that….too"
"Why don't you sell out. You could move…."
"To where? And how long would that money holdout with five of us to feed, clothe and shelter? We got no living kin that I know of. We got no place to go. A place in town would cost too much, and taking on another farm would too. So where are we supposed to live? This place is all we got. Once it is gone…there is no hope for us. We'll be beggin' in the streets, I reckon. "
"You could get work in town maybe, sweepin' floor or doing housework for someone." He suggested. "Maybe work a deal to clean for living expenses."
"That might work for me, but not for me and the kids. No one is gonna let four kids move in with me somewhere. And I refuse to go work in a saloon. Maybe I got too much pride, I don't know. But no, I got to see this through the best I can, here."
Dal's expression tightened, his brows furrowed.
"They've been waiting for you to fail so they could have the place legal like, without any trouble. But there's been a drought this year and they are getting antsy for you to leave." Dal explained. "It's not safe out here anymore. They could come at any time to run you and the kids off."
"You're not telling me anything new Dal. I know all of that. So where is safe? Tell me Dal, where is safe. Is it safer to work in a saloon and worry over the kids at night. Is it safe to move and not have a home to move to? What do I do? I've tried to figure the answer. We could live by the river, but sooner or later someone would move us out of there too. We'd be nothing but vagrants. We got one ole mule that won't carry all of us to another place. We can walk, but where do we walk to Dal. Do you think I wanted to go begging for a husband? Don't you know how much it hurts to have to do something like that? I'm not some mentally deranged girl. I've studied on it until my brain is numb. For four years, I've kept them eating, kept a shelter over their heads, paid the bills as best I could. But I finally came to realize that unless I married someone who could help us, we are doomed to being nothing more than beggars on the streets. I don't want my brothers and sister on the streets. I don't want to work in a saloon and have men slobber on me every night. But I come up dry every time I try to figure out what to do. Even the little sewing I do, won't bring in enough to feed us."
"Bonnie, I'm afraid for you and the kids…."
Her voice softened, her hands trembled as she held the tears back. "I'm not leaving here unless I'm six foot under. Papa always said you had to pick your fights. And not fight over nothing unless it was worth it. This land is all we got. And it's worth it. This land is our home."
"Dammit…" He came closer. "Don't you know you are in danger?"
"Course I do." She exploded. "But we ain't leaving. Not until they throw me off the land or bury me. Even then, I don't know where we'll go or what we'll do. I've studied on it and I have no answers. And now you see…that's why I needed a husband. I been figuring for four years, but I guess I'm done. My mind's not workin'. I don't know what to do anymore but stay. I can't get a husband, everyone thinks me a child. And I can't run, 'cause I have nowhere to run to."
"Bonnie, they mean business. These men are hard pressed for water." Dal tried to reason with her. He grabbed her arms gently and held her. "They can get mighty mean. At least if you left, you'd be safer."
"I know that, too. I've known it all along. It's just that it's worse this year than most. We haven't had any rain. But they will settle out when the rain comes."
"Why don't you sell them yearly water rights, that would keep you from losing the place…" He suggested. "And keep them from getting so riled."
She moved away from him, not looking at him.
"It's the children, and their safety I worry about. I'm just scared I guess…Guns and strangers on the property all the time. I'm afraid for the kids. And for myself….I guess. Daniel can use a gun, but I won't touch them."
"Well, of all the things you've said, that's the first thing I agree with. You got a right to be scared."
She turned her head away. "They'll bring their cattle, and their troubles too. My kids are safe right now, but if I let people on my land, I'm not sure I can keep them safe. I got a gun, but I don't know how to use it, Dal. That's the truth." She turned to stare him in the eye. "My Ma taught me a lot, but handling a gun was not something she figured I'd need to know. Why do you think I been looking for a husband? I'm not some dumb little school girl who wants a man to dream about. But, I know I need someone to help me. I'm not stupid."
Dal considered her words. He couldn't argue with logic.
"What if rain doesn't come, Bonnie?" He asked coming up to her and grabbing her arms again so she would look at him.
"You might as well know…" She hung her head. "I'm about to lose this place anyhow. I've known that for some time. I've been stalling long enough to come up with some kind of plan. But, there is no plan. I'm out of ideas. Surely they all know that. The whole town knows that." Bonnie cried out her voice hollow and desperate. "It's just a matter of days now…and it will all be over. Only thing is, I got to have some kind of plan for the kids. I don't want to split them up and send them to some families and them grow up not to know each other. I've got to find some way of taking care of us. And I haven't figured out what to do. We leave here, we…just don't have no place to go, Dal. And I got no plan…I guess we could live out in the country, but it would be harder than anything we ever did. The kids have worked just like grownups to help keep this place together. We've worked too hard to just up and walk away from it. I'd just as soon be six feet under."
"How soon?" He asked frowning.
"Two weeks. I got to have something to offer in two weeks or we have to move out. The Sheriff said he'd have to evict me." Bonnie explained. When she saw him hang his head, she moved toward him. "It's nothing for you to fret about. It's my problem. I want to thank you for riding out here and telling me all this. But I gotta figure something out myself. You shouldn't trouble yourself. It's not your problem. You've been very kind already. You've done a lot for us and I thank you."
"Like getting a husband?" He asked with a smile.
"I'm trying." She smiled back. "And I know you think I’m crazy for even considering it. But times are hard and I got to provide for them…"
"You are a stubborn woman, Bonnie." He whispered, looking into her eyes.
He was too close, she felt all weak inside, especially since he called her a woman.
"My ma always said I was stubborn." She smiled and started to move away.
But he stopped her and turned her chin up to meet his scrutiny.
"I should have better sense than this…but I'll marry you."
"You'll what?" She gasped and backed away.
"I'll marry you." He repeated. "But I won't compromise you Bonnie. You got a right to your dreams, and maybe someday we can work it out, so you will have some of those dreams. But right now, you need help. And I want to help, and if you think that's the only way, then I'll marry you. If the land is in both our names, and the debt paid, then they couldn't do a thing, and I have a plan that might work."
"Why?" She gasped again staring at him as though puzzled. "Why'd you change your mind?"
"There's a lot of reasons, I guess. But you are right, two heads are better than one. You do need a husband, I'd have legal rights to do things. Things that need doing. I got a little money, enough for seed and to feed us. I'll also lease the water rights, and you won't have to worry about the men bothering the kids or anything. You can tend them while I oversee things. Bankers don't have much respect for women, even hardworking ones like you. But Coldwell will listen to me. So…how does that sound?" He asked moving away from her now as though his mind was working at full gallop.
"I guess you know how to use a gun, then?"
"I know how. Better than most people think, too."
For only a moment, she hung her head. A strange disappointment filtered through her, but she finally raised her head and gave him a sad smile.
"I accept, your terms," She whispered.
"Good. Then we'll be married at the church at the end of town on Sunday and I'll get to drawing up plans for water rights right away and talk to the banker. The sooner we get that taken care of the sooner we will have some income to live on and the pressure should let up around here."
She nodded, but a tear lodged in the corner of her eye and she tried to hide it from him.
"Do we have to be married in a church?" She asked, glancing up at him.
"We should be. Let everyone in town know you are married and that I will be taking over a lot of the problems. I'll talk with the banker and see what I can arrange."
"But a church makes the vows seem more solemn." She wailed.
He came up to her, pulled her chin up to look into her eyes. "It's best, all around if we do."
"If you say so…"
"Do you trust me?" He stared into her eyes.
"Yes," she whispered. "I do."
"Good. Now don't worry. Find yourself a dress to be married in and we'll do that Sunday." He said moving toward the barn door.
The way he said, 'we'll do that.' Made it sound as though it were not important. But for the first time Bonnie realized it was important, and she also realized what she was giving up. There would be no man that loved her. She'd have her husband, but he wouldn't necessarily love her. The price to survive hit her hard in the heart. Her dreams were gone now.
But one of the hardest lessons of her life was realizing that a person could live on dreams alone.
Then she stared at him a long moment. While he was thinking on things. She was looking at him as a potential husband. She resolved her heart right then and there. He might not love her, but he was a kind man, and he wanted to help her. That was more than any other man had offered. And Dal was honest. She trusted him. She'd be good to him.
He hadn't kissed her again, and she so wanted him to. She like most girls had dreams of what her husband might be like. And although she thought a lot of Dal, he made it clear he didn't want her as a wife. That hurt. But what was important was saving the land and the kids. She couldn't worry about the building needs inside her. What her heart ached for didn't matter. She was sacrificing love for life. And in the long run, it would have to be enough…
Chapter Five
It was late in the evening, everyone had gone to bed. Bonnie sat by the lamp, sewing. Her mind was working as she sewed every stitch with such care. She'd worked for several hours on the dress and her fingers were nimble.
"What are you doin' with that dress?" Becky asked as she came and sat on Bonnie's bunk. Bonnie had the lamp turned up so she could see.
"I'm fixing it," Bonnie replied not missing one stitch.
"Is it broke?" Becky asked staring at it strangely.
"No…I'm fixing it for me." Bonnie glanced at Becky, who was ready for bed. She wore her ragtag night-gown and had her teeth brushed, her face washed, and her hair pulled back behind her. Becky had beautiful hair. Bonnie loved to comb it. It was long and silky.
"What are you doin' still up, young lady." Bonnie scolded lightly. "I've done checked your teeth, and combed your hair, why are you still up?"
"I sleep in here too, the light keeps me awake," Becky replied.
"I'm sorry honey. I'll be through in a few minutes. You get on up there to bed." Bonnie instructed and leaned to kiss her on the forehead.
"Bonnie…is that Mommy's dress?" Becky paused on the ladder.
"Yes, it was. Now it's mine. It's a wedding dress." Bonnie tied a knot in the end and closed the end of the hem.
"What's a wedding dress?" Becky asked climbing up to the upper bunk.
"It's what people get married in," Bonnie said cutting the thread and putting away the needle carefully.
Becky gasped. "Are you gettin' married?"
Bonnie turned around so she could look at her. "Yes…I am."
"To who?" Becky scrambled back down the small ladder.
"Dal Odom."
Becky suddenly smiled. "Oh…I like him."
"You do?" Bonnie stared at her in surprise.
"He's nice. But…does this mean you will leave us?" Becky frowned and came closer. "'Cause Phyllis's sister got married and she left."
"No darlin'. I wouldn't leave any of you. He's going to live here and help us get this farm workin' right."
"He is? Why? Why would he do that?"
"Because he's a good and decent man, that's why. Now, you get back up there and go to sleep." Bonnie demanded. "Because he cares, I guess."
"Will he be our kin then?" Becky asked climbing the ladder once more.
"He'll be your brother-in-law."
"Brother-in-law. You mean I gotta a new brother?"
"Yes," Bonnie laughed. "You will have."
"Does Daniel know yet?" Becky asked peering down at her.
Bonnie cast her a quick frown. "No…you're the first to know."
"Daniel don't like him much. He says he's after something. Is he after something?" Becky asked.
"I don't think so. He's been very honest with me." Bonnie sighed. "Now how about closing those eyes, I'm about to turn down the lamp."
"Okay, night Bonnie."
"Night honey."
Bonnie hung the dress on a nail at the top of the door and stared at it. It was beautiful. She could just imagine her mother wearing it. The silk was still petal soft, the white silk and beads stood out in the dim light. It sparkled. Bonnie had never had anything so beautiful in all her life. It seemed strange that she was finally getting married. But after she had given it some thought, she figured Dal knew best.
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He didn't love her, but that was alright. He was helping her and she'd be eternally grateful to him.
Secretly she wondered what it might be like if she was in love with him. But that would never happen. Dal probably could have his pick of girls, he was so handsome. She didn't want to examine her feelings for him yet. She knew she liked his kisses and thought him so handsome, but the fact that he didn't want to really be her husband had hurt more than she could say. It was like a slap in the face. Having relations was part of being married. However, when she thought it out reasonably, she understood that the kind of marriage she needed had nothing to do with feelings, but survival. She had accepted the fact before she met Dal, she had to accept that fact now.
After putting the dress away, she turned the lamp down and got into bed. She was tired from working so long on the dress, but she wanted Dal to be proud of her, when he took his vows. The excitement of getting married kept her awake most of the night.
She hoped she was doing the right thing. Maybe someday she could release Dal from his vows and he could have a life as he wanted.
However, morning brought nothing but trouble as Becky had already told everyone she was marrying Dal.
From the moment she walked out of the bedroom, Bonnie felt the silence slice the air.
Daniel stood in front of her door when she opened it. His lip pooched out as though he were steaming mad.
His hands were on his hips, his lip was firmed, and his eyes squinted into a frown.
"I hear tell you are getting married," Daniel said, his hands over his chest now as though he thought himself quite smart.
"Who told you…oh…Becky." She cringed.
"What for are you marrying him?" Daniel demanded to know.
"Daniel McDaniel, it is none of your business. He's going to help us get this place back on its feet. I have been advertising for a husband in the paper. Dal volunteered for the job. That's all there is to it. He'll sleep in you boy's room." She announced and waltzed into the kitchen dramatically.
"That ain't how it's supposed to be." Daniel walked right behind her. "And you know it. He doesn't love you, does he?"
Brides of the West-Part One Page 5