"If you didn't think he loved you, why'd you marry him?"
"Because I was desperate for the help. We were nearly out of money, we couldn't pay for the roof over our heads. I was desperate for a man to stand up with me and help me figure out what to do next. I was so tired of trying to figure ways to survive."
"Poor Dal…he don't even know you love him."
"Don't say it like that. I do love him, and I will stand behind him and be there for him, but I'm not gonna confess my feelings until I know how he feels. And he just hasn't said anything about that." Bonnie wiped her eyes. "Maybe you are right. If the time ever comes, maybe I'll tell him."
"Don't wait too long…" Becky warned her.
Bonnie thought about that for a long time. But she'd been so bold before, asking him to marry and being refused. She wasn't sure she could stand another rejection.
Chapter Fifteen
Dal didn't like being angry with Bonnie, but if gratitude was all she felt, maybe he'd made a mistake by marrying her. Maybe he should have helped out a different way. Still his feelings had changed a lot since the day she walked into the pool hall.
He'd never forget that day as long as he lived. He'd rejected her without any consideration for her feelings. After he had thought on it, he realized he'd been rude to her. He'd felt bad. But the girl was crazy, asking a total stranger to marry.
He'd gotten to know her now. He'd seen her plight and he came to care about what happened to her. And in the back of his mind, she was still a young girl who had saved him so long ago. He owed her.
He owed her that was what it was, he owed her!
No, he'd never regret marrying her. Sure, he was worried about her, after hearing those men talk about taking her place away from her. But that wasn't what made him propose and he knew it.
He'd been thinking of her as a young girl in trouble, until he kissed her, he hadn't realized she wasn't a girl anymore. She was a woman. No girl could kiss like that.
He'd had girlfriends, but mostly just a whore or two. No one to call his own. And he had to admit, he liked Bonnie depending on him. It made him feel like a real man. And he liked having a readymade family too. They all fit together so well.
That thought didn't sooth his nerves a bit. Since he hadn't told her how he felt about her, she hadn't either. But she came close telling him she appreciated his helping her. He should be glad she didn't say more. But somehow it left an empty feeling. What kind of relationship did they have if they couldn't say the things that were important?
Gratitude was not what he wanted from Bonnie. Not now. Things were different. He'd fallen in love with Bonnie, and he didn't even know when it happened for sure. It puzzled him that it had happened so blindly. It puzzled him that he could admit it to himself. He couldn't even put his finger on the day things changed. But his heart melted every time he remembered her coming into that pool hall and asking him to marry her. She'd left a huge impression and she didn't even know it, because he so callously dismissed her. Something sparked in him from that moment. He hadn't seen her in town over two or three times in all the years he'd lived here. He shook his head. She'd walked off that day with his rejection, determined to find a husband, no matter the rejection. For good reason of course. He'd played pool after she left, but his thoughts were on her. Granted, he'd never met anyone like her before.
He had cared from the beginning. Love just sort of crept up on him. The more he was with her, the more he wanted to be. Their honeymoon night, he realized just how innocent she was and that threw him into protecting her.
There were other things to worry about right now, but for some reason, not talking to Bonnie bothered him more. They were always able to communicate.
It seemed important that they do so.
He'd barely seen her today, she kept to herself.
He missed her.
After supper and the dishes were put away, Bonnie came out on the porch like she always did. Dal was secretly wondering if she'd appreciate what he was making in the shed. Maybe he was presumptuous. Unless he made the first move, he was sure she wouldn't like what he was doing in the shed.
Bonnie must have heard him in the barn because she came in, to find him brushing down his horse.
She stood off to one side, watching him for a long while before she ever spoke.
"That's a nice horse, Dal. You spend a lot of time out here grooming him, don't you?" She said in a low voice.
He nearly jumped when he saw her standing there. He'd been lost in his own thoughts all day.
"He's high spirited and a beauty. Beautiful horses are like beautiful women, they should be taken care of." He glanced at her.
Her eyes softened on him and she tried to relax.
"Well, you do a good job." She started to turn away. "I never had a horse of my own. But I can appreciate them."
"Yeah, that's why I take such good care of him." He said, glancing at her. "He's a black Andalusia. The only thing I ever bought and paid for that cost more than a good saddle. I worked for over a year to pay for him. Bought him off a rancher, he was just a colt then."
"I can't imagine anyone wanting to sell him." She came up to pet him. "What's his name?"
"Choko. And the owner didn't want to sell him, he'd been raising them while in Spain, but when he came here, he only brought a handful. He bred them and was successful. The man is rich now. When I saw what fine horses they were, I knew I had to have one." He explained, petting Choko as he moved a little closer to Bonnie.
"You must have wanted him very badly to spend that much time saving your money. That's an unusual name. Choko. Is it Indian?" She was just the other side of the horse now, and her hand reached to stroke the magnificent animal.
"I don't think so, I studied on his name a long time. It isn't Indian. It's my own concoction. Couldn't come up with nothing, but he's dark like chocolate, so I cut it short and named him Choko." He smiled at her as he continued brushing the horse.
"You don't have much, but what you do have is fine, isn't it?" She noted.
"I like to think so…" He murmured. "I spend a lot of time picking things out. Once I've make up my mind, I find a way to accomplish it."
"You really saved a year's wages?"
"Yeah," He glanced at her. "That's not so astounding when you think on it. A cowboy doesn't need much when they work with a good spread. And he's usually worth his weight in gold if he has a good horse. The food's pretty good on the ranches I've worked, the bunks aren't bad and the pay is above the average."
"How did you get such jobs? I mean good ones."
"I busted one of his toughest broncs on the ranch. It took me three weeks, working every day with that animal, but I did it. The man said I was persistent if nothing else and hired me on the spot."
Bonnie smiled at him, releasing some of the tension. "I guess you've been a lot of places, and done a lot of things, haven't you?"
" A fair share I'd say. I used to be pretty daring. But a few scars later I began to settle down. I worked for a lawman once too. Up in Hays City, Kansas. But when the Sheriff got killed I took off. That was enough for me. I wanted to bring the bad men to justice, but I decided it wasn't worth dying for. Mostly worked on ranches. I like Texas a lot better than Kansas."
"Oh, why?"
"I don't know really. There are some things you can't explain. Texas is too hot in the summer and darn cold in the winter. It has twisters almost every year. But the people here are hardy and hard headed. I don't know…it's just home. Sometimes you come across something that fits so well, you can't walk away from it. Know what I mean?"
She blushed. "Sometimes I think being a man would be very exciting."
"Why?" He questioned.
"Men get to do so many different things. Not like a woman. Usually, a woman just takes care of the house and kids. Not very exciting at all. Washing, cooking, taking care of the children. There are all sorts of tedious things to keep us busy, but men…they get to have adventures. If they want to just up
and leave, they can. Most men aren't tied down to a place."
"You're too sweet to be a man…" He brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. "And you're really good with kids."
Bonnie moved away abruptly. "I had to be. It only took one day for us to become orphans. But I determined early on, we weren't splitting up. We'd stay where we were and we'd do what we had to do to survive."
When he didn't say anything, she went on. "You know, Cassie wanted to know if we were going to the dance this weekend. I didn't know what to tell her." Bonnie's voice changed to just above a whisper.
"I don't know. I really need to stick around and keep an eye on things. Banister thinks I'm gone, he might sneak in again." He answered.
He saw the disappointment in her eyes, but she veiled it quickly.
"You and the kids could go…" He offered.
"That's okay…we all got a lot of work to do…Daniel might go, he's already asked Cassie's sister to go with him." She said and walked off. Just the slump of her shoulders told him he'd said the wrong thing again. Lately, he couldn't say anything right to her.
He handled that badly. He wanted to take her to the dance. Wanted to see her laugh and be happy again. But then he didn't want the place tore up by Banister's men either.
He'd make it up to her..somehow.
Chapter Sixteen
Daniel got ready for the dance that Saturday afternoon, being sure to get all his chores done and talked to Dal about staying and helping him at the creek.
Dal was in the shed, oiling his gun.
"That's okay, you ought to wash up if you're going to a dance. A girl likes a man that's clean."
"They do?"
"Yeah, they do."
"I didn't know…Bonnie never said much about what she likes. It's funny, even though she's married, she don't act married. She's just Bonnie."
"Maybe she doesn't know what she likes…" Dal firmed his lips and pushed Bonnie out of his mind. He was sure she didn't know what he liked.
"I think she likes you…maybe even loves you." Daniel blurted his eyes on the ground as he spoke.
Dal turned to look at Daniel strangely. "Now what on earth gave you that idea."
"Well, she told me you were the first she ever asked to marry up with her. And I know she went into town to find a husband that day. I know why she went too. For us. She doesn't think about herself much. It's always us. That's why I want to tell you something."
"Oh, what's that?" He asked studying him.
"I think she was disappointed when you turned her down."
"What makes you think that?" Dal looked at him with a slight frown. He had hurt her that day, he was sure of that.
"When you brought her home and left, she cried a bit. She don't like anyone to see her cry. She's the oldest and she thinks she has to be strong for all of us. But I see it when she's sad. And since you came…and married up with her, she ain't been as sad. So I'm askin' you as her brother, to treat her good. She deserves it. If it hadn't been for her, we'd probably all be dead by now. But Bonnie managed. Not every woman could do that. So I'd like your word that you will be good to her, always."
Dal stared into Daniel's eyes. "You have it, Daniel. I promise. She's a little peeved at me right now, but I'll make it up to her. I promise you."
"Thanks…" Daniel stuck out his hand for a shake.
"Well, you better get a move on, if you want to get to the dance on time."
"Okay, see you. And Dal?"
"Yeah." He wasn't paying much attention to Daniel right now, he was busy with his gun.
"We love you…" Daniel said and ran back to the house as though his admission had embarrassed him.
He got up and went to the barn door to stare after him. But his heart swelled at Daniel's admission.
~*~
Bonnie had sewn his suit where the holes were and accept for being a little short on him, he looked nice in it. She had boiled his white shirt and made sure he had everything to look his best.
She had told him to take a bath in the creek and he did that too. When he tried his suit on, she nodded. "Not too bad. You look real handsome, Daniel."
"Thanks for fixin' everything for me." He went to hug her.
"Want you to look nice. This is a special occasion, your first real date."
Daniel gave her an awkward look and left the room.
"I should stay here and help Dal out."
"No, you go on an enjoy yourself. You've already asked Rachel out, it wouldn't be right to stand her up. I can manage." Bonnie told him.
Dal was loading his gun with ammunition on the front porch when Daniel came out.
"You expecting trouble tonight?" Daniel asked a little anxious.
"You never know. If Banister thinks I'm at the party he might try something." Dal explained.
"I shouldn't have asked Rachel." Daniel shook his head with a frown. "It's just that I kissed her and I figured I owed her something after that."
"You kissed her?" He looked at Daniel.
"Yeah…"
"How was it?" He asked with a smile.
"I liked it…so did she." Daniel smiled.
"You like her a lot, don't you?" Dal asked.
"Yeah, I guess I do. She's the only girl I've ever been interested in." Daniel admitted.
"Well then you treat her right. You be respectful of her and treat her nice and things will work out." He said offhandedly.
"Dal?" Daniel tried to get his full attention by calling his name.
"Yeah…"
"You told Bonnie about the bed we're making?"
He turned away, got up and started walking off. "No…I haven't."
"Why not? I mean, what if you get it made and she don't want to ….you know…"
Dal whipped around to stare at Daniel. How did kids ever learn so much? "She's mad at me right now, because I'm not taking her to the dance. Not the right time."
"Maybe…" Daniel paused for a minute to think on it. "If you told her now…it would be the right time."
"Told her what?" He frowned grabbing his gun and starting to walk toward the door.
"That you love her…you do love her, don't you?" Daniel asked.
Dal stopped cold. A million emotions crossed his mind. But the truth hit him square in the face. "Sure I love her…I love all of you…"
Daniel shook his head. "You can't say it that way Dal?"
"Say what?"
"That you love her. And knowin' my sister, she won't never lay in that bed with you until you tell her proper that you love her, and want her there."
He turned his head in question. "Aren't you a little young to be giving me advise on love?" His voice barked at him.
"Maybe…but the one thing my sister has plenty of…is pride. She'd never sleep in the same bed with a man that didn't love her. I heard Ma tell her that. And she meant it. So you gotta tell her how it is…"
At first Dal was angry at Daniel for telling him how to get along with Bonnie, but when he looked at him, he knew that he was only trying to help him. And he knew he was right.
Instead of getting mad, he smiled. "You know for once, Daniel, you are right, and I am wrong."
"Glad we got that straightened out." Daniel shrugged. "Now, how do I look?"
Dal glanced around at him. Then he walked over and retied his bolero tie and dusted the lint off Daniel's jacket.
"You look like a gentleman come calling." He ruffled his hair. "Now go comb that hair, use a little of my cologne so you smell good and get going."
Daniel smiled and went to the bedroom.
He started to leave when Bonnie came in from the backyard with a chicken in her hand.
"Daniel gone yet?" She asked.
"No, he's sprucing up a bit. He looks nice." He smiled at her.
"Good, this is his first dance…with a girl." Bonnie smiled.
"Why don't you go with him and see he makes out all right?"
"No…he'd be insulted that he couldn't stand on his own two feet. This is som
ething he has to do alone. He's growing up, thanks to you." Bonnie murmured as she set the hen in the sink to defeather. "You going out to the creek this early?"
"Thought I would."
"Well, supper will be ready in an hour."
"That's fine, I'll come back then." He called as he headed for the door.
Bonnie couldn't help but feel a little letdown. She really wanted to go to the dance, but she knew Dal was right about Banister. She had to put her pretty notions to the back of her head.
When Daniel came out of his bedroom, he saw her and started to leave, when she called after him.
"Have a good time tonight…"
He looked over his shoulder at her. "Thanks…and thanks for letting me take the wagon."
"Just be careful," Bonnie instructed. "And tell everyone hello for me."
"I will…wish you were going," Daniel said, but the way he said it, she knew he didn't really mean it.
"I'll go next time…" She affirmed.
He smiled and left.
Becky came in from the yard. "Daniel was all dressed up…"
"Yes, he has a date for the dance," Bonnie informed her.
"Rachel?" Becky asked.
"That's right."
"I like her, just not her sister," Becky said matter-of-factly.
"Cassie's alright when she's not flirting." Bonnie chuckled.
"Why aren't you and Dal going?" Becky asked.
"Well, honey, we have to worry about Mr. Banister coming and getting water while we are gone, and it's just not a good time to go. No telling what they might do if we weren't here."
"You and Dal made up yet?" Becky asked innocently.
"We are not fighting. Just having a little rift, if all."
"You ain't said you're sorry?" Becky shook her head.
"No, we haven't. Besides, I'm not sure what we should be sorry about." Bonnie admitted.
"Ma and Pa hardly ever fought." Becky blurted.
Brides of the West-Part One Page 13