She couldn't waste her life worrying about what her Uncle or Robert might do. If the trouble came, she'd just have to learn how to handle it.
She thought about what Mrs. Meriwether said. Her husband had been alone for a long time, obviously. She'd never once thought of him as a lonely man, but this job, she could see where it isolated him from people. Even surrounded by people, he was still alone. But as long as she was with him, she was going to stand beside him and maybe he'd realize he wasn't as alone as he thought.
That night she gave him an extra helping of meat and potatoes. He looked at her curiously. "Thanks…care to sit with me a bit?"
"Sure…" she brought her coffee along and sat down on a log near him.
"Heard about the pig, that's a shame. Two of you huh?" He was playing with her and she was silently glad that he could cut up a bit. He didn't take much time off from his duties.
She could almost feel him letting down his defenses one by one with her and she liked that.
"You never said, but what are you going to do when we get to Oregon?" She asked.
He glanced at her a moment. "Hadn't given it much thought."
"Will you go right back to Independence?" She asked looking around the camp and seeing the boys relaxing at the end of their day.
"No…I usually winter in Oregon then go back, early spring. I got a friend that puts me up…"
She nodded. She wondered if it was a woman friend or a man friend, but then knowing him as she did, she figured it was a man.
"What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to get some of that land first of all."
"Land? But you can't work it. And to keep it you have to work it for four years."
"I didn't know that. Well, I don't know, maybe I'll hire someone to work it for me. At least I'd have a place of my own."
"But you would need a house, and a barn and…" He stopped and looked at her. "It's none of my business, just curious."
"Maybe I'll hire you to build me a house." She laughed.
He stared at the ground for a long moment. "I'm surprised you want to stay. I mean, I know this is sort of an escape for you, but I figured you eventually would be going back home."
"I certainly hadn't planned on going back." She said adamantly. "I've left nothing there…"
"But the Shipyards. Won't you inherit them?" He asked.
"I don't want them." She said quite finally. "And I guess that surprises you."
"But that's a fortune…Do you realize what you would be throwing away?"
"I know very well. But, I'm not going back. I was never happy in New York. I'm staying in Oregon. I'm going to make myself some kind of home and then I'll figure out how to make enough money to survive on."
"Have you thought this out?" He questioned. "There aren't many ways a woman can make money as you call it."
"Yes…I have. I never planned on going home. I have nothing to go back to. My Uncle is so greedy, he wants all of it. Well, he can have it. He and that Robert can have it all. I want no part of it."
He shook his head. "This won't do."
"What?"
"I'm not bringing you up here to leave you in some financial debt. You are by rights a wealthy woman, and if they are really as bad as you say, then I wouldn't let them have a dime of it." Cole stood up and faced her.
"Money never made me happy, Cole." He looked at her as though he couldn't quite believe it. "It's ture. I've had the finest clothes, the nicest home, the name, everything. But none of that made me happy. I know that now."
"Well, what the heck did, then?" He demanded to know.
"My folks….my parents. Can you bring them back?"
"No?" The way he answered that told her there was a story he wasn't telling too.
"You see, they had the one thing, I always wanted."
"What was that?" He asked staring into her troubled eyes.
"Love." She said quietly and walked off to do the dishes.
He followed her, put his dish down and looked at her.
"Your old enough to be married and have a family…" He said, then realizing what he was saying he shook his head.
"I'm married to you. And if you want a family we'll definitely have to discuss that…" She stated in a low voice so no one else could hear. She smiled as though she were joking. He wondered if she were.
"You can divorce me and find another that can give you those children, if you want them." He said just as lowly.
"Oh, you can't have children?" She asked.
"I don't know, I've never tried…" He answered blankly.
"Well, if you want them, I can provide them for you, before the divorce, if you like." She smiled sweetly.
"You do know what it takes to have a child, don't you?" He asked, his brow tilting upward. That shy smile of his melting her heart.
"I know…" She smiled. "Maybe not first hand, but I know."
"Emily, when's your birthday?" He suddenly asked.
"It was yesterday, why?" She felt the pain of being forgotten again.
"You turned twenty-six?" He asked.
"Yes."
"I'm sorry we didn't celebrate." He said coming to stand beside her. "But I knew we'd be stopping today and I wanted you to know I remembered."
"It's okay, it's just a birthday," She remarked shrugging.
"I meant to make it a little special for you." He said but to her surprise he went to the wagon and brought out a cake for her.
She gasped.
"A cake, and decorated too! Wherever did you get it?" She asked in surprise, her eyes going over it like a child at its first birthday party.
He stared at her for a long time.
"Mrs. Meriwether made it. I was going to give it to you yesterday, but it was a miserable day, and I wanted to wait until I had some time."
"Look everyone, Cole had me a cake made for my birthday." She shouted to all the men who gathered around them quickly.
"That's some cake, chocolate I suspect?" Bill laughed.
"Yes, it is."
"So that's why Mrs. Meriwether was asking all those questions. I should have suspected something, but I honestly thought you'd forgotten." She blushed when Cole looked straight at her.
"I'd never forget your birthday." He said with a big smile.
He was so full of surprises.
~*~
He had no idea how much it impressed her. No one had bothered to make her a cake since her mother died. She had so missed it too. Her Uncle thought it frivolous. But then on her twenty-six birthday, he might have changed his mind as she was to inherit now.
Cole didn't understand how she could give up so much so easily. But it was no lie, she had never been happy with money and material things.
She was more joyous over this cake and Cole actually remembering it more than anything her Uncle had given her in all those years growing up.
She'd been a sad little rich girl growing up, but now as a woman, she was a happy but poor lady.
She cut the cake so all the men could have a piece and she poured generous helpings of coffee too.
It was a real treat for the men and they enjoyed it as much as she did. She suddenly realized too that this was true happiness. Being with friends and enjoying the small things in life.
When she glanced around at all of them, saw their happy but tired faces, she wondered how they could accept her so quickly.
Before she went to bed that night, she called out to Cole.
"Cole…"
"Yes," he answered quickly and moved the curtain back so he could look at her in the wagon.
"Thank you for the cake…it meant a lot to me, and that you remembered." She smiled.
"Happy Birthday Em…" he called softly. "You certainly don't look twenty-six."
"Thank you…for everything." She sighed. "Especially that." She smiled.
She nodded and a tear ran down her cheek. He remembered.
Chapter Twelve
"Where's he going, Perez?" Emily asked staring
at her husband who was riding out alone before sunrise.
"He goes out every morning like that señora. No one really knows where he's going, or why. It's just sort of a routine for him." Perez said.
"I wish I could go with him." She barely uttered the words.
"Why don't you?" Perez asked.
"Well, I have to make breakfast." She insisted, surprised that he had heard her.
"Today, you don't. I will provide breakfast, you go on, if you want to."
"Are you serious?" Her eyes turned on him.
"Si…I make Mexican breakfast…"
She chuckled. "Alright…thanks…"
Perez dismounted and gave her his horse, "Go on now."
Emily rode after him, wondering where he was going and what he might be doing.
The land was unremarkable and she concentrated on following Cole.
But as she neared the small butte, she couldn't find him. She rode around the butte and finally spotted him in a cove at the base of the hill, he was praying, on his knees. She dismounted, and stood a good distance away.
She walked her horse closer so she could hear.
"I'd appreciate it if you could see us through again. Without too much trouble. Bless these folks as they head for their new life. And a special blessing to Emily…as she's been a big help to me…Thanks for listening again…In Jesus name…"
"Amen," Emily said loud enough for him to hear.
"What are you doing here?" He whirled around to ask, surprised to see her standing there.
She'd obviously intruded, but it was too late to turn back.
She shrugged. "I guess I was curious…."
"About what?"
"Where you were going." She replied. "Perez says you go out every morning. I didn't realize…"
He hung his head and composed himself then put his hat back on. "Don't go off alone like that again…it's too dangerous."
A tear slipped down her cheek.
He saw it and stopped. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"I heard you…"
"You heard me? I don't understand."
"You prayed for me?" She asked turning her eyes on him.
"I guess I did…" he admitted. "Nothing strange about that, is there?"
She looked at him, all of him, then veiling her thoughts she shrugged. "No one's done that for me in a long time…" She let another tear fall. "In fact, I don't remember anyone doing that for me. Thank you!"
"Nothing to get all teared up about…come on…we got to get back, they'll be wanting breakfast." Cole insisted.
"Coffee's made and Perez is making a Mexican breakfast." She said staring at him and walking away from him for a minute. Her emotions were getting the best of her and she hated anyone seeing her weaker side.
He followed her and took out his handkerchief and dotted her eyes as he turned her around. When she stared wide-eyed, he stopped. "Don't look at me like that…Em."
"Like what?" She wiped her eyes.
"Like you want to be kissed…"
Her breathing was erratic now, "But I…"
But it was too late, now she was in his arms and he was kissing her. On the tip of her tongue was the words. "I do." Kissing her like the woman she was, like the man he was. Long moments had passed before he came up for air. She felt the power of his hold, the strong arms, the determination of him to keep her and everyone else safe. The gentle way he handled her, so her shoulder wouldn't hurt. "We shouldn't be doing this…" she barely whispered when he came up for air.
"Why not…you are my wife Emily. But I did make a promise I wouldn't force myself on you." He looked into her eyes and that shy smile of his captured her.
"I wouldn't call it forcing…" she answered too quickly.
"No?"
"No." She blushed with her admission.
And with that, he kissed her again. She moaned from sheer need of it. This was exactly where she wanted to be, in his arms. This is why she had ridden out after him, to be close to him once more. To feel his protective arms around her.
His lips assuaged the ache in her heart filling her with a new hope. She wrapped her arms around him and let him have his leave.
Her heart fluttered wildly. Her body trembled. The sweat, dust and saddle leather on him, mingled to entice her further. He had the pure aroma of a man. And it seemed to call to her.
His hand went down her arm steadying her. When he turned her loose, she looked into his face.
"There was no one to watch that…" she rasped.
"I know…that's why it was so damned good." He paused looking at her. "Wasn't it?"
"Yes," she barely breathed but held her head high.
"That's what I like about you. You're so honest. I've never met a woman more honest and open. I trust you Em, and that's saying something. Well, at least we agree on one thing…"
"What's that?"
"We both like kissing each other…Now I'll admit something to you."
"Oh…what?"
"I'm glad you followed me…"
She cast him a small smile. Feeling braver, she admitted more. "So am I…"
He laughed, it was a melodious sound to her. She'd never heard him laugh. She swallowed hard. There was so much to this man, and she wanted to know more.
He smiled. "Come on, Mrs. Morgan, let's get back."
"I'll race you…" She laughed now, feeling some new freedom she didn't understand.
"You're on…."
As they dashed back to camp, they were both smiling.
"I beat you…" She declared.
"Barely…" Cole tried to act hurt.
"Si…you have the better horse," Perez said as he offered them some of his Mexican breakfasts.
They both ate with a flourish and the day had begun so well for them that they were both smiling.
She had followed him out in hopes they might have a moment together. Lately, she wanted those moments, as often as she could get them. She'd never felt this way before and she wanted to explore the possibilities.
That morning everything seemed better to Emily. The work didn't bother her, and Cole seemed to keep a closer eye on her now. Her shoulder was mending well, so she slipped out of the sling and tried to protect her shoulder as much as possible the rest of the day.
She didn't mind.
"Let's get this train to Ft. Laramie…" Cole smiled at her as he motioned to roll.
"Perez, you'll have to teach me to make this," Emily challenged him.
"They are sopaipilla. I'm glad you like them. They are sweet, to get your day started well."
"Something sweet, huh? I guess you're right, it does begin the day right…" She glanced at Cole, he was riding down the line of wagons, checking on things. Something sweet, yes, it did make a better day.
"Si... señora." He smiled and rode off.
She smiled and got up in the wagon.
Bill had taken over the reins and when Cole motioned they headed out again.
They came to Ft. Laramie in the midafternoon the next day. As it was not fortified with fences because of the expense, it was open to the plains.
Cole went to the officer's quarters and asked to speak to the commander. The officer in charge at the time was Colonel Williams. Cole didn't know him, he reckoned he was new to the fort.
He greeted Cole wholeheartedly.
"Come in, please…" The Colonel invited him.
Cole had brought Emily along so she could meet him too.
"We had a bit of trouble outside of Ft. Kearney, a hunting party attacked us." Cole was telling him.
"You were fortunate, I'd say. Any casualties?" Colonel Williams said.
"Were we? Three men were injured and my wife…" Cole asked furrowing his brow.
The Colonel glanced at Emily curiously.
"Your wife?"
"Yes, she was below the wagon, shooting, and took an arrow in her shoulder."
"Your very courageous Mrs. Morgan," The Colonel said.
"I didn't look at it that way.
I wanted to survive."
He stared at her a minute then looked at Cole.
"We've got a sick man in the last wagon. I was wondering if your doctor could have a look at him." Cole asked.
"Of course, I'll send him around to you."
"Thanks."
"Let me explain a few things to you Mr. Morgan. In 1851, a treaty was signed with all the Indians, except the Crow that the settlers could go on the trail without harm. Everything was good for a few years, but the gold rush in Colorado changed that. Too many came west at once and the Indians became concerned. Naturally a lot of those people were disreputable. Several of the tribes broke their treaty with us, saying they had agreed that settlers could travel across it, but not miners and gold mongrels. That's how the trouble started and it hasn't been settled since. I'm afraid protecting the trains that come through has been a full-time job in the past few months." He explained, glancing at Emily.
"Sounds pretty typical of the government. We've never been entirely fair to the Indians."
"Fair sir? If you'd seen as many massacres's as I have, you might not speak like that. They are cold blooded killers sir."
"It's their land…sir." Cole stared at the man.
Uneasy the Colonel turned his attention back to Emily.
"Mrs. Morgan you are a refreshing surprise, I must say."
"Thank you, Colonel." Emily tried to smile.
"Have you attempted to renegotiate with them?"
"Sure we have, but the gold miners keep coming. No matter what we say, we end up liars. We can't prevent them from coming any more than we could keep you." The Colonel explained. "It's easy to put the blame on the army, but it's the men in Washington who must someday answer for their broken treaties, and lies used to make them.
"I see," Cole seemed frustrated.
"Don't fret, you'll get a military escort as far as The South Pass, from there you are on your own unless you go south to Ft. Bridger. They might escort your further if they have the men to do so. Although once you head for the Snake you'll be in Shoshone country, they are a little more reasonable. At least that's what I've been told."
Brides of the West-Part One Page 49