by Mandy Magro
Kirsty’s face quivered as she fought back the tears that threatened to fall. She squeezed Kulsoom tighter. ‘Thank you – for everything. You’ve given me more than you’ll ever know. I love you so much.’
Kulsoom gently pulled back and placed her hands on Kirsty’s arms. ‘I love you too. But remember, the most important thing right now is that you love yourself. That’s what is going to get you through all of this. And when you do find out you’ve beaten it, make sure you go and get your hunky man back. He loves you, Kirsty. You don’t come across men like Aden very often in life. Trust me. My beloved Harry is one of them and I pushed him out of my life, too, when I was going through the worst of the cancer. The poor bugger lived in the shed for two whole months, sleeping on an old camp bed.’
Kirsty stared at Kulsoom through her tear-blurred eyes. ‘You – you did the same to Harry? Kicked him out because you were scared of dying?’
‘Yep, sure did. And you know what? He never once complained. He just told me to take time out if I felt I needed it. Made me love the old codger even more.’
‘But . . . but when I asked your opinion on my breaking up with Aden, how come you didn’t tell me this?’
Kulsoom patted Kirsty tenderly on the arm. ‘Because it was your decision to make, love, not mine. I didn’t want to sway your feelings. You had to do what was right for you. Cancer takes a lot out of you and you need all your focus, all your strength, to fight it. Some people need loved ones to rally around them, and that’s okay, but others like me and you, we need to get through things on our own. And that’s okay too, even though it drives people nuts.’
Kirsty smiled, sniffling loudly. ‘We’re similar, me and you, aren’t we?’
‘Sure are, kiddo. Now, make sure you ring me as soon as you get your results and we’ll celebrate the good news by screaming like a pair of maniacs on the phone.’ Kulsoom stepped up into the passenger seat.
‘You’ll be the first one I call!’ Kirsty said as Lynette began to reverse out of the drive. She blew a kiss and Kulsoom caught it then clutched it to her heart, just like she’d always done when Kirsty was a little girl.
The sweet birdsong outside her bedroom window woke Kirsty from a deep sleep. She rubbed her eyes and then stretched, a satisfied yawn escaping her lips. She had not slept so soundly in months and it was wonderful to awaken revitalised for a change. She hadn’t experienced any nightmares this past week and she was hoping they might have stopped. Maybe her conscience was clearing because she’d finally told Aden the truth?
Allowing herself time to wake up, she rolled onto her side and took a few deep breaths, becoming more aware of her surroundings with each exhalation. Something inside her had shifted. Not physically, but emotionally, like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Maybe it was the chemotherapy being finished, or maybe it was the conversation she and Kulsoom had shared last night. Or maybe it was because Aden had invited her over this weekend. It felt like a step in the right direction, a step away from her past.
Poor Harry, having to sleep in the shed for months! Kirsty pondered the notion. Harry and Kulsoom were like two peas in a pod, they were so close. Kirsty found it almost impossible to believe that Kulsoom had kicked him out. Especially when she’d had cancer and needed his support more than she had ever needed it before. Although wasn’t that exactly what she had done to Aden? But she and Aden were different to Harry and Kulsoom. They weren’t married, hadn’t shared years of love, years of unforgettable memories.
Kirsty pushed herself up and out of bed, the morning sunlight flickering through the curtains providing enough light for her to catch her reflection in the dressing table mirror. She didn’t like what she saw, but she didn’t care. She leant on the bedside table for support, her entire body shaking, her thoughts racing. Everything suddenly made perfect sense. My God! What have I done? Aden and I are exactly like Kulsoom and Harry. She glared at herself in the mirror, determination flooding her, filling her with urgency.
‘No more! No more self-doubt, no more fear of the unknown. You hear me? You’re going to survive this bloody cancer and that’s that! Aden is going to forgive you for the accident – he has to!’ She hammered her hand on the dressing table, making her bottles of perfume clatter. ‘So, Miss Mitchell, you better damned well do something about Aden before it’s too late. And once that’s sorted and you get your results back, you’re going to fulfil your dream of opening a gallery. Like it or lump it!’
The delicious aroma of freshly baked pumpkin scones wafted around the homestead kitchen. Kirsty pulled a clean tea towel from a drawer and carefully wrapped the little golden goodies in it, slapping Ron’s hand as he tried to pinch one. ‘I’ve already put some in the microwave for you, Mum and Robbie for morning tea, so no thieving these ones, Dad.’ She tapped the folded bundle gently. ‘These little babies are for Aden and me.’
Ron raised his eyebrows. ‘Ah . . . for you and Aden, hey? The third musketeer gets all your lovely scones and you leave me just one measly one. Is this a date or just a friendly visit?’
Kirsty’s face rapidly flushed red. ‘No, Dad, it’s not a date, just a friendly visit. I thought I’d better bring him some sort of housewarming gift. What better than homemade pumpkin scones? From memory, they’re his favourite.’
Ron threw two heaped teaspoons of sugar into his black tea and stirred vigorously, the teaspoon clanking against the cup as he gazed intently at Kirsty. ‘I see. Well, good on you. I know he’s been really keen for you to see his new place. I helped him move his things over there and I was very impressed. He’s done well for a young lad – a perfect example of how hard work can pay off. A few of the young guys round Hidden Valley could learn a lesson or two from him, especially the ratbag Cooper boys from next door.’
‘Yeah, he does work hard.’ Kirsty began to walk out of the kitchen. ‘He’s a good bloke, our Aden. Anyhow, I’m really looking forward to checking out his place so I better get a shift on or I’ll be late for smoko time. When you see Mum just let her know I’ll be back some time this arvo.’
Ron grinned mischievously at her over the rim of his cup. ‘That’s fine, love. You take as long as you like.’
‘Would you stand still, buddy?’ Kirsty grumbled as she attempted to tighten the girth strap for the second time. Cash swivelled his head around, gently nudging her with his muzzle, and then proceeded to try to nibble her earlobe. Kirsty couldn’t help giggling as she pushed him away, her balance failing her as she fell on the dusty ground with an almighty thump. She sat in a crumpled heap, laughing in between bouts of coughing, spitting out particles of grit while a cloud of dust circled around her head.
Cash whinnied as if in amusement and softly stomped his foot. She poked her tongue out at him and stood, dusting her jeans off, giving him a quick peck and a scratch on the cheek as she gathered the reins from the hitching post. ‘You’re a cheeky bugger, Cash! But that’s why I love you so much. I know you’re excited to go for a ride. Me too. It’s been way too long, my dear friend.’
Wrapping one arm over his withers, she ruffled his forelock and gave his neck a sniff, his horsy aroma bringing a satisfied smile to her lips. ‘I swear someone should bottle your scent and sell it as men’s aftershave. Maybe mix it with a hint of leather and woody spice. I betcha women all over the world would go crazy.’
Cash neighed and nodded his head, as if he completely agreed. She giggled again while she glanced around the stables, making sure she’d packed everything into the saddlebags, a rush of adrenaline filling her as she finally placed her R.M. Williams boot into the stirrup.
Knowing she had to take it easy, she slowly pushed herself up, her body still fragile after the months of chemo. Her excitement bubbled over once she’d settled herself into the seat of her favourite western saddle. It felt so bloody good to be sitting here! She couldn’t wait to go for a gallop out in the glorious sunshine. Her days out riding Cash while mustering cattle felt like a lifetime ago.
Placing the reins into positi
on she gave Cash a squeeze with her legs, a smile lighting up her face. ‘Come on then, boy, let’s head. We’ve got us some adventures to be had!’
The tranquillity of the bushlands surrounding Flame Tree Hill enveloped Kirsty, the only sounds filling the beautiful silence were the rhythmic clip-clop of Cash’s hoofs against the dry riverbed and the rustling of leaves around her as the sultry breeze caressed the thriving native trees. A scrub turkey scampered like a loose hubcap in front of them, darting this way and that, eventually disappearing into a thicket of emu bush. It reminded her of the Roadrunner, that old cartoon character. She smiled to herself, recalling the countless times she, Ron and Robbie used to sit on the couch of a Sunday in absolute hysterics at the antics of the animated characters. Lynette would be in the kitchen, happily tending to the roast dinner. Those days were long gone, but that was just the way life worked. When Kirsty had children of her own one day she could share the same experiences with them, providing them with the love and security that her own parents had blessed her and Robbie with. And she prayed that the father of her children would be Aden.
A trickle of sweat rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away, deciding that it was time to take another swig from her water bottle. She signalled for Cash to stop, resting her weight back in the saddle. He obeyed at once, breathing heavily, his coat slick with sweat. It was still shy of ten in the morning but the humidity was so thick it was stifling, the odds of an afternoon shower high. After drinking steadily from the bottle, she gave Cash’s forelock a tussle and shook the bottle at him. ‘Do you want some, buddy?’
Cash, accustomed to the request, tilted his head around and tipped his lips up towards Kirsty for a drink. She squeezed the water out of the pump top of the bottle, the stream splashing against Cash’s muzzle as he drank, his lips quivering with enjoyment.
Searching for the landmark Robbie had told her to navigate by, Kirsty had a thorough look around, knowing from the distance already travelled that Aden’s property had to be close by. She tugged the brim of her hat down, squinting through the dazzling sunlight, elated when the rusty corrugated-iron hut that Robbie had mentioned came into view. What a perfect photo it would make. Leaning over, she grabbed her camera from the bottom of the saddlebag, being careful not to squash her scones. Then she clicked off a number of shots, enthralled by the simple beauty of the old shack among the thick overgrowth.
Content, she edged Cash onwards, butterflies fluttering in her belly, the thought of seeing Aden exhilarating her. There could be a myriad of outcomes of this visit and she honestly had no idea how he was feeling about everything or what he was going to say to her, which made her very nervous. Maybe she should have rung him first, to let him know she was coming? But he’d said to drop by any time. Exhaling loudly, trying to still her racing thoughts, she motioned for Cash to begin the climb up the gently sloping hill, her heart dancing a fervent foxtrot inside her chest.
As she reached the crest, Kirsty’s breath escaped her. Aden’s hilltop property was magnificent. Endless pastures rolled out before her, dotted with hundreds of striking purple miniature orchids. A few horses roamed among about thirty head of cattle, their ears pricked as they assessed whether she was a threat, before focusing their attention back on the grass at their feet.
Enormous timber stables sat in the centre of fields, and beyond that Kirsty could just make out the gleaming roof of what she knew must be Aden’s house. Giving Cash a tight squeeze, she galloped off towards the home, one hand gripping the reins and the other holding her hat. Once the house came into view, Kirsty slowed Cash to a canter, and then to a trot, her mouth hanging open as she took in the stateliness of the Queenslander homestead. It was way too grand to call it a house.
Stopping in the shade of a golden wattle tree, close enough to admire the house, Kirsty pulled the scones from the saddlebags. She allowed herself a few moments to imagine what it would be like living here with Aden as her husband, their children laughing and playing on the manicured front lawn. She felt her belly do a flip-flop as she envisioned the life they could share.
Pristine tropical gardens bordered the sprawling timber verandah that snaked around the entire home, giving it a colonial charm. How in the heck had Aden afforded it? It was unquestionably an old settler’s home, and they didn’t come cheap these days. No wonder her dad had been impressed. Aden’s business must be doing even better than she’d realised. Good on him, she thought. Aden was a diligent worker and he deserved to reap the rewards.
As she gazed dreamily at the house, Kirsty half expected a pioneering woman in an elegant lace blouse and an ankle- length skirt to come swanning out the front door with a tray of iced tea and homemade biscuits. Instead, to Kirsty’s great shock, a thoroughly modern-looking woman came waltzing through the screen door with Aden behind her. Kirsty knew it was Tammy. She’d seen enough photos of her in Aden’s albums. She watched, her breath held, as they both got comfortable on the verandah, talking and laughing with each other in a way that filled Kirsty with envy. She wanted to be the one sitting there with Aden, enjoying his company. What was Tammy doing here? Had the two of them gotten back together? Was that what Aden wanted to talk to her about? Fuck. She knew she couldn’t hold it against him if that was the case. She suddenly felt stupid for even thinking they could get back together after what she’d done. What did she expect after pushing him away, after telling him the awful truth about his sister? There was never going to be any hope for them. They were over, done, dusted.
Wretchedness filled Kirsty’s stomach, making her feel sick, and within seconds the heartbreaking emotions she was experiencing became anger – anger at herself for being such a fool. The parcel of scones she was holding slipped from her grasp, the golden mounds scattering at Cash’s feet. Kirsty felt a sob rise from deep within her, every one of her nerves feeling like a loose electrical wire dangling in water. She thudded the heels of her boots into Cash’s ribs, inviting him into a sudden gallop, and he leapt to attention. They thundered towards the dried-up riverbeds that would lead them back to Flame Tree Hill, back to her safe haven, and away from Aden.
She let her tears fall freely as the rushing wind swept them from her face. Collapsing into Cash’s neck, she clung gently to his mane, resting her head against his crest, giving him the freedom to take her home as the reins hung limply in her quivering hands. She had been so stupid to think that life was going to go back to normal. She should have saved herself the heartache. This was her punishment: whether she died of cancer or not, Aden was going to live on, with Tammy by his side, happily ever after in their perfect little world.
Chapter 26
THE pack of scrawny feral dogs scampered in different directions, halting briefly to growl and bare their razor-sharp teeth, warning Aden they would rip him to shreds if he came anywhere near them. Aden thrashed the roo-hide whip against the earth again, the booming crack echoing off the distant hills and ultimately succeeding in scaring off the pack of mutts. He could tell they weren’t entirely of dingo blood – probably the offspring of dingoes and dogs that went AWOL. A bunch of wild bitzers. He knew they wouldn’t let go if they got the chance to sink their teeth into him. Even if he did survive the attack he would be at risk of catching some kind of ghastly infection.
Waiting until the dogs were out of sight, Aden hurried over to the remains of what they had been feasting on. Concerned it might be one of his neighbour’s calves, or even worse, one of his own dogs, relief flooded through him when he spotted the remnants of what appeared to be food. ‘Bloody mongrels,’ he muttered as he bent down for a closer inspection, crumbling what was left of the feast through his fingers. He sniffed it, wondering how food had got under the golden wattle tree in the first place. His food scraps either went to the chooks or straight into the compost bin. He thought for a few moments, his brow furrowed in contemplation, and then spotting a tea towel a few metres off to the side it came to him. Pumpkin scones! Kirsty had been here, at his place, and had clearly not come up to the h
ouse.
He had spent all last night struggling with his feelings of disappointment. She hadn’t bothered to visit him over the weekend like she’d promised. He’d had trouble falling asleep, finally drifting off in the early hours of this morning, only to find himself awake at dawn as usual. She’d seemed keen to talk things over. What was she playing at? Close to midnight, after a few glasses of whisky, he had even gone against his better judgement and tried ringing her a few times, but she hadn’t picked up her phone. Why? A million different scenarios flashed through his mind, each one taking his unease up a notch.
Aden sat down on the grass as he rubbed his temples, a splitting headache forming behind his eyes. The roller-coaster of emotions and a lack of sleep were getting the better of him. He ran through the entire weekend, studying each snippet of it in detail. Then it dawned on him, the realisation sending a wave of panic rushing through him. Shit. Kirsty must have seen him with Tammy. His ex-wife had only been at his place for an hour or so. And Tammy’s visit was not something he’d wanted Kirsty to find out about until he’d had the chance to explain.
Pulling his mobile from his pocket he swiftly dialled Kirsty’s number but once again it went to voicemail. He left a message pleading for her to call him back. Then he tried the cottage phone but it, too, went to the answering machine. He left another brief message and hung up.
What the hell was he going to do? He stood, looking up at the sky, wishing the answer would flash before him. Exhaling angrily, he tried to put everything into perspective. But he was tired, so damned tired. The last year had really taken its toll. He’d separated from Tammy, moved back to Hidden Valley, dealt with Kirsty’s cancer, gone through a painful break-up, and processed the bombshell she’d dropped. Kicking at the hard ground with the toe of his boot, wishing he could somehow dig his way out of this mess, Aden swore out loud and jammed his hands into his pockets. He didn’t have time to worry about this now. With a full day ahead of him, he had to get to work. He trudged off in the direction of his Land Cruiser. He wasn’t going to chase Kirsty this time, she could come to him. If she didn’t call him back he knew he’d see her at the bush races in a week anyway, and he would speak to her then, face to face.