by Cat Johnson
He’d take back what had once been his. He’d show her what she’d given up. He’d possess her body and soul and then—
Then what?
He’d go back to work and leave her here, just like he had before because he felt the same about his career as she did about hers. It wouldn’t be fair for either of them to ask the other to give up what they’d worked so hard for.
Drawing in a deep breath, he broke the kiss and leaned his head against hers.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Are we crazy for doing this?”
“Yes.” At Ashley’s answer he started to pull away. She pulled him back. “I didn’t say I wanted you to stop.”
He let out a short laugh. He didn’t want to stop either. They could both worry about how to deal with the ramifications of their decision later.
Ashley brought her hands to his face. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I’m sorry I asked you to give up your future for mine.”
The apologies on both sides were ten years overdue but somehow still necessary.
He was quiet, listening to her breathe amid the sounds of the night around them.
When she lifted her mouth to his, he stopped fighting it—stopped thinking—and kissed her. They were already in too deep.
While stroking his tongue against hers, he reached down. He moved his hand under her dress and slipped his fingers beneath the elastic of her underwear.
Her sharp intake of breath told him she wasn’t immune to his touch.
Good to see that hadn’t changed, although hopefully he’d honed a few of his skills over the years.
“We doing this?” he asked before he took things any further.
Even after all his previous bravado about forging ahead and taking her no matter what, this was Ashley. His childhood friend. His first love. His only love. He needed to know she wanted this.
“Don’t you want to?” she asked, sounding concerned.
As if she had to ask. He was throbbing beneath the fabric of his shorts. There was no way she could miss that the way they were pressed together.
“Yeah. Do you?”
“Yes.” Her soft response was all he needed to hear.
Moving the fingers already happily nestled in her feminine warmth, he stroked her until she was panting, her whole body shaking where he had her pressed between him and the tree.
When she was a boneless, trembling mass, he scooped her up and carried her to the picnic table sheltered from view of the road by the trees.
He laid her on top and ran his hands up her long legs until he reached her panties.
As he pulled the garment down her legs, her eyes widened. “Here?” she asked.
“Yup.” He smiled. “I’m too old to be laying on the ground.”
“But someone could see—”
“I’ll hear them before they see us. I promise.” He was well trained. No one was going to sneak up on him.
Admittedly, they’d never trained for this particular scenario, but he was still confident as he tossed her underwear onto the bench and then lowered his head and kissed the skin of her stomach.
He kissed up her body, pushing the dress up as he went until he reached her breasts beneath the barrier of her bra.
As much as he wanted to strip her bare and feast on every inch of her, he was very aware of where they were.
He made do with slipping one full globe from beneath the lacey fabric and tonguing her nipple until she squirmed beneath him.
She’d filled out a bit over the years. Being a boob man, he wasn’t at all opposed to the changes in Ashley’s body.
Time hadn’t been as kind to the park as it had been to Ashley’s lush figure. He realized that as he slid his hands beneath her and felt the rough wood of the picnic table scrape against his skin.
Had it always been so rough? As a kid he hadn’t cared or worried about splinters. Now he wasn’t about to subject Ashley to the torture.
He pulled her upright and, sitting on the bench, guided her so she straddled his lap.
The heat in her eyes as she reached between them and stroked him through his shorts had him reaching for what else he’d shoved in his pocket before leaving the house besides his cell phone.
The elastic band on his shorts came in handy as he slipped his length free without having to undress. He made quick work of covering himself with the condom. Then Ashley was sliding down over him, stealing his breath, surrounding him with warmth he could swear he hadn’t felt in a decade in spite of his having been with countless women during those years they’d been apart.
He could barely move with her in his lap, but he didn’t need to. Ashley set the pace, slowly at first, and then speeding until he was lost in the sensation.
If anyone had come upon them he wasn’t sure he’d have noticed, in spite of his promise to her that he would.
She let out a groan and he was done.
Bearing down and holding on to her with everything he had he clutched her close, his face buried in both her breasts and the fabric of her dress in an effort to smother his cry.
He finally had to turn his head as he tried to catch his breath.
It had never been that intense. Making love to Ashley as an adult was worlds different than it had been when he’d been an inexperienced youth.
Then again, he was different too.
They both were. They’d both lived and seen so many things outside of this tiny town.
“I can’t believe you actually snuck out to meet me. And on your bike too.”
“That makes two of us who can’t believe it. And I had to take the bike. Nana might have heard me start the car.” She pulled back far enough that she could look down at him. “This whole thing is kind of crazy, huh?”
Two presumably mature responsible adults and they were sneaking around and acting like teenagers.
If anybody caught them . . .
“Yup.” There was no arguing that point so he didn’t. Instead he just pulled her tighter against him again.
He was too content to care all that much about getting caught. If that were to happen he’d use the sailor freshly home from deployment excuse.
The beauty of that plan was that it wasn’t even a lie. He’d been away from home too long and estranged from Ashley for even longer.
He wouldn’t let that happen again. Even if it was nothing more than friendship, he wouldn’t let another decade pass without seeing or talking to her.
The idea that maybe they could be friends with benefits flitted through his mind and he wasn’t sure he liked it. They’d been too much to each other to be lovers who felt nothing now.
Besides, how long would a girl like Ashley remain without a man in her life? Brody had probably been lucky to catch her between boyfriends on this trip home.
What were the chances of that happening again? She was too smart and funny and beautiful to stay single long.
“Why aren’t you dating anyone?” He couldn’t stop the question from leaving his mouth.
After looking like she was surprised, she lifted one shoulder “I had such strange hours when I was working at the hospital. And here I don’t see anyone except your family. I guess I work too much. Why aren’t you dating anyone?”
“Same reason—work.” Maybe they were perfect for each other after all. “You ever think about me? You know, over the years.”
Brody realized his question was overly sentimental. He should have known being with her would raise the ghost of old feelings.
“Yes.” She swallowed hard. “You ever think of me?”
“Yup.” There was no denying that but he wasn’t about to tell her the specifics about when the memories of her haunted him.
“So what now?” she asked.
He raised his gaze and found her watching him, waiting for an answer he didn’t have.
“Now, this.” Reaching up, he palmed the back of her head and brought her mouth down to meet his.
For the immediate future he i
ntended to have her again. After that . . . he’d have to think about it.
CHAPTER 8
Morning dawned as usual, as if nothing earth shattering had happened, but Ashley knew better. After last night with Brody, everything had changed, or maybe nothing had changed at all.
Her spinning thoughts and emotions made her almost dizzy as she moved through her early morning routine trying to pretend in front of Nana this was just another day.
In reality, her heart pounded and her mouth was dry thinking about arriving at the Cassidy’s house this morning and having to face Brody.
Luckily, Nana had been so busy baking something special for her to bring to the Cassidy’s for Brody, she hadn’t been all that observant about how nervous and distracted Ashley was this morning.
Ashley kissed Nana goodbye, grabbed the basket filled with fresh muffins still warm from the oven, and headed for her car.
The drive to the Cassidy’s wasn’t too far. They lived on the other side of town but traffic wasn’t an issue in this small town.
She reached the house without incident and was faced with Brody’s truck in the driveway, physical evidence that he was still here when a small part of her had begun to doubt he would be.
The events of the past twenty-four hours seemed so surreal she half expected to wake at any moment and discover it had all been a dream.
But no, the door of the house swinging open and a smiling Brody standing in the doorway proved that if it was a dream, she hadn’t woken from it yet.
“Hey.” He pulled her toward him when she was close enough and planted a kiss on her mouth.
As much as she enjoyed the feel of his lips against hers, this was not the place or the time. “Brody, someone might see.”
“So what if they do? Besides, my parents both left for work and Grandmother is in her bed complaining while drinking her coffee.”
“Complaining she’s hungry?” Ashley guessed with a smile as she moved into the hallway.
He closed the door behind her. “Yup. I was just about to see what I could do about that, as frightening as the thought of me cooking is. I sure do miss Nana, I can tell you that.”
“Lucky for you, you always were Nana’s favorite. She sent these.” Ashley held out the basket to him and laughed when Brody’s eyes widened as he took it from her.
“Muffins?”
“Yes, sir.”
He groaned and even though it was obviously in anticipation of his favorite breakfast, the sound cut straight through her. It made her crave him again in spite of the fact they’d been together not even twelve hours before.
“Do I hear Ashley?” The old woman’s voice traveled down the hall, strong in spite of her age and the distance.
“Yes, Miss Eleanor.”
“Are you making breakfast?”
Brody lifted a brow. “I hope you get paid well for this job.”
She laughed. Not nearly well enough but she kept that to herself. Instead she moved toward the bedroom doorway. “Nana sent a fresh batch of her muffins. Do you want one of those or do you want me to cook you something else?”
Miss Eleanor’s eyes lit up as her gaze landed on what was in Brody’s hand when he joined Ashley in the doorway.
“They’re still warm.” He held up the basket temptingly.
“Of course, I want one. Don’t be silly. But I’ll need a fresh cup of coffee to go with it.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Ashley turned to go get it for her when Brody’s gaze caught hers for the briefest second before she broke the connection and headed into the hall.
The electricity shooting between Ashley and Brody should have been obvious to anyone watching, including Miss Eleanor. Good thing Nana’s muffins were such a distraction.
She’d just reached the kitchen when she felt Brody come up behind her. “You could have stayed with Miss Eleanor. I can bring in the coffee,” she said.
“If I had, I couldn’t do this.” He slid his arms around her from behind and nuzzled her neck.
She tipped her head to pull away, but all that did was give him better access to the over sensitive skin. “You shouldn’t be doing that.”
“So you keep saying. Sorry. I don’t agree.” The heat of his breath against her throat sent a tremor down her spine.
“Brody—” Ashley didn’t have to finish her censure.
He pulled back and said, “Fine. Bring her the coffee, leave her with a pile of muffins to keep her busy, and then make an excuse to leave her for a little while.”
Ashley frowned. “Why?”
“We have to talk.”
Those four words seemed overly ripe with meaning but she nodded. “Okay.”
It was all she could do to prepare Miss Eleanor’s coffee with the impending conversation hanging over her like a shadow.
She managed it, even managed to deliver it without mishap, before she went back out to find Brody waiting for her in the hallway.
“All right. We have a few minutes.”
“Gonna need more than a few.” He yanked her into his bedroom just down the hallway.
“What are you doing?”
“Making up for lost time.” Pulling her to him, he lowered his head.
Ashley leaned back. “You said we had to talk.”
“I lied.” He tried to catch her mouth with his, but she managed to avoid him.
“No, you didn’t. I can tell when you’re lying and you meant it.”
“Can you really?” He looked genuinely surprised.
“Yes. You have a tell. You can’t look me in the eye when you lie.”
“I already told you and Nana. I’m a highly trained operative. We’re trained to lie.” He grinned as if he was teasing but the truth was, he wasn’t.
Ashley knew that because in a weak moment years ago, after she’d heard from Nana that Brody was training for the SEALs, she’d read anything and everything she could get her hands on about the subject.
“You might be trained to deceive strangers, but not family.”
He let out a breath. “A’ight. You’re right. We do need to talk. But after this. Okay?”
The this he spoke of was obvious as his palms pressed and held her tightly to his arousal while his thumbs traced circles against her hipbones.
“We can’t have sex here and now.” She had kept her voice low but hoped the intensity of her words got through to him.
“Just hush up and kiss me.” His mouth over hers prevented further protest.
As her body warred with her mind, she decided she’d let him kiss her, but that was all. Nothing more.
The feel of the rock-hard muscles of his arms encasing her, making her feel safe and held, was enough to have her second-guessing that decision. As was the memory of the night before in the park.
She was about to abandon all reason when she finally pulled back from the lure of his kiss. “Seriously, Brody. She’s right down the hall.”
He grinned like a mischievous schoolboy. “Is that a challenge for me to prove how quiet I can be? You know, stealth is one of my finest traits.”
Brody had many fine traits, in Ashley’s opinion, but she couldn’t let herself be swayed by any of them and give in to him now. Not while in his family’s house with his grandmother just steps away.
Ashley changed the subject. “So what did you want to talk about?”
He dropped his chin, as well as his hands. “I got called in.”
“You have to go back? Now?”
“Not immediately, but command wants me back sooner than planned.”
“When?”
“I’m leaving first thing tomorrow morning.”
“Oh.” Amid the sick feelings ricocheting through her insides, Ashley couldn’t help feeling grateful they’d have one more night.
But what was one night when she wouldn’t see him again for who knew how long?
“Ash.” He used his childhood nickname for her as he raised his hand to her face and stroked her cheek.
“Yeah?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what to say. I never planned this. Hell, I hadn’t expected to find you here at all but I really didn’t think we’d—”
“I know. Me either.” They’d fallen back into each other like they were kids again. At least that’s how it was for her. Judging by the regret she saw on Brody’s face, he wasn’t happy with this turn of events either. She said, “You don’t have to worry. I know what this is.”
He let out a short laugh. “Do you? Because I sure as hell don’t know what this is between us. I don’t want it to end but there’s no way it can continue with you here and me—I can be anywhere and everywhere on an hour’s notice.”
“I know.”
“I can’t ask you to wait around for me. Just like I can’t guarantee when I’ll be back . . . or if.”
She drew her brows down. “Don’t say if.”
Of course, she knew it was true. He could be hurt or killed, but that didn’t mean she wanted to think about it, or talk about it.
“It’s my reality, Ash.” He let out a breath. “You were right back then to not want to buy into the life I live. It’s too hard on relationships.”
Hearing him admit that was like a final nail in the coffin of their relationship. It extinguished the last flicker of hope she’d managed to reignite.
“So . . . what do we do?” she asked.
“I know what I’d like to do.”
“What’s that?”
His hazel eyes met her gaze. “Make the most of the time we have left.”
She had a feeling he’d say that. Typical Brody. He’d been like that as a kid too. Live for the moment and don’t worry about tomorrow.
He stood at arm’s length, watching, waiting, she guessed for her to agree or not.
What would her saying no do? Only deprive her of grasping a few more moments with him. Deny her a chance to make more memories to hold on to for the next ten years.
It was sad but true that she’d take one more night with him over nothing at all.
“Okay.” She glanced up to find him watching her.
“Are you okay? Really okay?” he asked.
She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “No.”
He’d drive away and she wouldn’t see him again for months, if not longer. He was eleven hours away by car and that was when he was in Virginia. Forget about all the times he wasn’t even in this country.