“Yeah, babe, I do. Remember, my head is on the choppin’ block. You know what’s so fuckin’ hilarious? It’s for somethin’ I didn’t even do.”
“What?”
Cillian yawned before he flipped her flat on her back. “Nothin’, baby. I’m just tired. I still wanna fuck you though because I’ve missed you like mad.”
“Don’t bother.” Gisela laughed as she pushed him off her. “I know what you consider a fucking and I’m not really up for a ten minute session. Approach me when you’re not drunk with sleep.”
He grabbed her hand closest to his and placed it on his erection. “Does that feel like wood that’s gonna only last for five minutes?”
“Maybe…maybe not but the kids have to get up soon—”
“Is it your time of the month?”
“Yes, it is.” Gisela kissed his cheek. “I’ll be off soon, baby, and then you can have your way with me. I only have another day and it’s over.”
Cillian didn’t know why he felt relieved. He didn’t think he would be a very good lover when all he could think about was how he’d betrayed the one and only love of his life in L.A. He knew he shouldn’t give a fuck but that’d always been his problem. He was always giving a fuck and that caused nothing but issues for him.
He still wrapped his arms around her and pulled her as close as possible.
“You want me to make you some breakfast?”
“No, baby. I just wanna hold you as long as possible before you have to leave for work.”
“I’m working from home today. Declan has soccer practice after school and Caitlin needs to be picked up on time so it’s just easier to work from home. Oh yeah, and we have dinner with my parents tonight. That should be fun.”
“Can we reschedule? I know what that meeting with my Da is all about and I’ll be otherwise preoccupied.”
“Yes, with pleasure. I’ll call my mom in a few hours to let her know we can’t make it. I’m actually kind of relieved. I can’t do the whole ‘parent thing’ tonight. I’m completely exhausted—between the kids and your trial, I’m overworked.”
Cillian squeezed her gently. “You’re my rock and you help me hold on to my sanity, and that piece of me who reminds me I’m human. I know I may fuck up, and I know you could have any man you want but the fact that you chose me…I love you for it.”
Gisela kissed a tattoo-sleeved bicep. “Stop being so hard on yourself. I know I’m complaining but you’re the one who is looking down the barrel of a gun, not me. If I lose your case, it’ll break my heart and be one of the worst days of my life but…for you, it’s a life sentence in a state penitentiary.”
She paused and he could tell she had begun to cry as the warm tears dropped on his arm before they turned cool. “I’ve spoken to the prosecutor and they want to send you to Ely, Lovelock or High Desert and…I couldn’t bear the kids seeing you like that. You wouldn’t make it anyway. The White Knights have too many ties in Ely, and Lovelock. High Desert would mean we’d have to move to Las Vegas. I understand why you didn’t tell me what was going on—not the full story at least. A fucking Fed, Cillian? You’re lucky I argued your ass out of getting the Death Penalty.”
He buried his face in her hair and tried to control his own emotions. “Babe, I couldn’t tell you everything because I knew you would have tried to talk me out of it and Riley had to die. I was following my father’s orders. What would you have wanted me to do?”
“I don’t know. Grow a pair and stop allowing Dizzy Cox to lead you around on a goddamn leash? The man’s not God and his piss poor judgment just might cost him his VP.” Gisela struggled out of his embrace and scooted to the edge of the bed before she stood.
“Where are you going?”
She stood before she turned around to face him. “I’m getting up. I can’t sleep and I have a trial to prep for. We’ve held them off as long as we could but they’ve scheduled the case. It begins in June.”
Cillian could do nothing except watch the one woman who’d ever held his heart in her hands as she walked into the bathroom and slammed the door behind herself.
He turned over and beat the goose down pillow angrily. “Fuck!”
Although he was angry enough to cause an argument with her, his exhausted body won out in the end. He closed his eyes, and before he could finish a coherent thought, he was fast asleep.
Cillian awoke shortly after noon and took another shower before he slipped on a pair of comfortable jeans and a black wife beater. He walked down the stairs to find Gisela hard at work, her MacBook open in front of her while she sat on the sofa in the sitting room.
“Good afternoon. Dizzy called and he said he wanted you to come down to the Clubhouse when you awoke. It sounded urgent.”
“Shit. Are you the fuckin’ messenger now too?”
“Cut the crap, and find out what it is he wants. Warn that fucker you’re not allowed to participate in any illegal activities either, all right? You could be in a lot more trouble than you already are, and the Feds are watching you.” She finally looked up to stare at him with cold amber eyes before she turned back to her laptop.
“Yeah, I’ll let ‘em know.” He cleared his throat and grabbed his cut before he slid it on and headed for the garage door.
“Cillian?”
“What?”
He stopped and faced Gisela who still held her cool gaze. “When you were in L.A., who did you stay with? I know you weren’t stupid enough to stay at a Clubhouse full of drugs.”
“Kaz and his fiancée, Sydney. They weren’t exactly thrilled about having me around but they didn’t put up a fuss either. Why?”
“Just wondering. Kaz called this morning to say they signed a deal in Vegas for the next two years at Vogue Hotel and Spa. I guess congratulations are in order. If he was in Vegas, were you alone the whole weekend with his old lady?”
Cillian’s blue eyes hardened. “I was in L.A. for business. Syd’s pregnant so I drove her around but mostly, I did what I had to do, took care of the business my dad wanted me to do, and rode back here as soon as my job was done.”
“Just making sure you remember who you come home to,” Gisela said with ice and fury in her voice. “It’s nice to have a piece on the road but just remember when those nights get cold and lonely, you can’t fuck a memory.”
“Yeah, I know. It happened to me too ya know.”
“Don’t lay all the blame at Brianna’s feet, Cillian. You’re thirty fucking years old and you’re also responsible for the demise of your marriage just as much as she is. You couldn’t stay away from the Saint Slappers any more than she could stay away from your brothers’ dicks. I won’t live with that kind of dysfunction and if you want a working cock, don’t ever fuckin’ play me for a fool.”
“What are you talkin’ ‘bout now?”
“Old habits are hard to break and my ass may be dumb but I’m not a dumbass so don’t treat me like one either.”
Instead of responding, Cillian stormed out of the garage, opened the door and got on the back of his bike.
How the fuck did she know?
Was Kaz vengeful enough to tell her?
His half-brother was a lot of things but he would never stoop that low. He was a rock star, after all, and it wasn’t like he’d been a saint when he and Damira—his ex-wife—were together. He wouldn’t have told Gisela anything unless it was something else that tipped her off.
Cillian’s guilty conscience began to eat him alive but like every other vile, duplicitous and disgusting act he’d ever done, he buried it inside. After he closed the garage door, he tore off down the street of the quiet suburban neighborhood on his Harley.
It didn’t take long enough to get to the Clubhouse; he needed at least two hours of freedom on the back of his bike just to feel human but revving the bike at speeds close to death on the way there almost did the trick.
He certainly wasn’t ready to see his old man again. As far as he was concerned, he’d run every errand and did everything he co
uld do while being closely watched by the Feds and not overstepping any boundaries that would have him in County until his trial date. He never would make it inside, not with the amount of White Knight affiliates there.
Dizzy would have to buy him protection through Aztecas Infierno, and even the Mexicans might not be able to save his ass. There were a lot of WKs locked up in County; hell, it was their second home not to mention they had direct ties to the Aryan Nation in County and no white man would ever stick his neck out on the line for a Lucifer’s Saint or a Demon’s Bastard.
Cillian parked his bike, got off and strolled to the door before he punched in the code and walked in.
The renovation work was complete and besides the high fence with barbed wire going across the whole compound that could be electrified, there were bulletproof doors and windows. The place was a virtual fortress but necessary if shit ever went down and something was always bound to happen. It was the life.
He strolled past a couple of Slappers flirting with Kink and Cricket as they sat at the bar and walked directly into the chapel where his father sat, smoking a cigar. He wasn’t alone; Sean and Brendan were also there and the situation suddenly looked grim indeed.
“How was the ride down to Southern Cali?” Dizzy greeted without so much as a “Hello.”
“Easy, to be honest…except for the Jaden part. He won’t listen to reason and he’s completely fucked up over that Faith chick. I spoke to Talia Viaro too and she confirmed what you suspected. He hasn’t been straight with her from day one and she’s prepared to give the kid our name but she fears she’ll have to go at it alone. My heart broke for her and all I wanted to do was kick Jaden in the nuts. He’s a stupid fucking prick, ya know that?” Cillian explained before he fished out a Camel and lit it.
“Yeah but he’s also my son, and your brother. Kaelan’s never been the brightest tool in the shed and all he ever cared about was music and pussy. Looks like the latter is goin’ to be his fookin’ downfall. We’ll handle Faith later but in the meantime, we got other important issues to discuss. How’s your case goin’?”
“They’ve set a date for the trial. Sometime in June—Gisela wasn’t exactly in a talkative mood.”
Dizzy ground out his Havana cigar. “Look at youse…judgin’ your brother for not pickin’ a woman and you’re no better than him! What’d you do while you were down there? Plug another piece of pussy and you’ve got a dedicated woman waitin’ at home for ya? How’re you any better than him? I’ll tell ya one thing, if you think Gisela will be treated like your mother than you have another think comin’, boy. She’s smart, beautiful and she comes from a privileged family. You can’t fuck around on high class pussy. Believe me, I know.”
“Yeah, Da, I know that. I watched you do it to Ma not once but twice with a couple pieces of high class twat and they left youse both times.” He dragged on his cigarette. “It was a one-time thing…me own petty revenge against Kaz for fuckin’ Brianna.”
Dizzy’s crystal blue eyes turned arctic. “Don’t ya dare tell me you fucked Kaz’s old lady?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph—do I have to put a fookin’ muzzle on your cock before I send youse anywhere? How could you do it, Cillian? She’s pregnant with their child.”
“It didn’t stop him from goin’ where his dick shouldn’t have been when Brianna was pregnant with Caitlin.”
“That was different, son. No one knew Brianna was pregnant…hell, we didn’t even know whose baby she was carryin’ till the wee one was born and we could get DNA tests. That’s neither here nor there, and that isn’t what I called ya in about.”
Cillian continued to smoke his cigarette in utter calm. “Then what do ya want, Da?”
“We got a shipment of meth to pick up from the White Knights. Kink and Ronan are doin’ all the heavy liftin’ but I need ya there. They don’t give a shit about Ronan being Sergeant-at-Arms. They want the VP there to ‘represent.’”
“Fuck, Da. Do you know how much trouble I could get into if I’m caught?”
“Then don’t get caught.” Dizzy folded his hands together. “Sean, Brendan and I have already discussed it. Jake’s gonna be there and he’s the VP of the WKs so that means you gotta be there. Ya know how it works, son, and I know you’re takin’ a risk but we need that meth to cut the coke. Especially since we know now that the VP and Prez of the Glendale chapter are gettin’ high on my motherfookin’ dime. Fookin’ eejits—the pair of ‘em.”
“Well, since you have decided what I have to do then looks like I’ll get ready. How is Jake? I would hate to get on his bad side after what has transpired with his brother and all.”
“He’s pissed as hell,” Sean interrupted. “but he is also a businessman, and from what I understand, he and Brooklyn don’t have the best relationship. By the way, your father is in the middle of negotiating a transition for Trey to be brought over from the Demon’s Bastards. However, we won’t be tellin’ the White Knights…not yet at least.”
Cillian massaged his temples but it was no use. He could feel a headache coming on regardless. “Why now? You know the first thing Jonesy is gonna think is that Trey is a rat—
“Fuck that nonsense. He’s me son and he should be a Lucifer’s Saint.”
“He’s Sergeant-at-Arms. What do you plan to do about Ronan? We don’t need two SAs.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m in talks now with Hardy at the moment and there is a good chance he and your brother will take over the Glendale charter. Ronan likes it down south and I need men in my organization I can trust. He would be promoted to VP if he and Hardy took over Glendale.” Dizzy sighed before he drank from his whiskey.
“Well, since you have everything worked out…you’re the boss. Where is Trey by the way? I heard he high-tailed it after the whole event went down between him and Brooklyn.”
“Northern Ireland. Belfast to be precise. Too much heat is on the clubs in the UK. I need to bring everyone from the Belfast and London charters here so there will be some restructuring. You just worry about tonight and I’ll deal with my Club.”
Cillian scowled and decided it was as good of a time as any to let the old man in on some hard truths. “Yes, it is your Club but I’m the VP of the charter club as long as Gisela keeps me out of jail. I know you trust Sean and Brendan with your life but when are you goin’ to start trustin’ me? How can I ever take over if I always feel like you have issues with me and don’t think I would make a competent leader?”
Dizzy swigged from his expensive whiskey. “Don’t go gettin’ too big for your britches, son. I do trust you. Let’s get all this trial shit out of the way first and when you are free and not under the watchful eyes of the Feds then we will talk about what the future of this club looks like. You got it?”
“Yeah, I got it.”
Cillian ground out his cigarette in the nearest ashtray and stood before he walked out of Chapel and joined Kink and Cricket at the bar.
His father was making this so much more difficult than it had to be so why was he going along with it?
Questions saved best for another time and place, he mused as he ordered a shot of Jack Daniels and the prospect poured it immediately.
Kink stopped playing around with the Saint Slapper and pushed her onto a barstool of her own before he faced his best friend.
“What was that all about?”
“Trouble with a capital ‘T.’” Cillian grabbed his shot and downed it before he asked for the whole bottle from the prospect.
“Hey, you tell your old lady about what happened in L.A.?”
“Nope,” he replied, making the ‘P’ pop as he poured himself another shot. “Not that it means fuck all. Somehow, she knows, man. Call it a woman’s intuition but Gisela isn’t stupid and she certainly isn’t Brianna. I think I have fucked myself in the worst way and I don’t know how to get out from under all the hideous shit I have done.”
“Fuck.” Kink shook his head sadly. “That is a problem.”
/>
“Tell me something I don’t know, smart ass.”
They both stared at one another before they burst into laughter.
Cillian could say a lot about his brothers but they were perceptive. He hoped the day would go by quickly so he could get back home to Gisela at a proper hour. After the way he behaved, he owed her that much.
Chapter Ten
Gisela
I worked hard on Cillian’s case for most of the day until it was time to pick up Caitlin from school. After she ran to my Porsche Cayenne and jumped in the backseat, I decided to treat her with a grilled cheese sandwich, French fries and a Coke from Jack in the Box. She was a vivacious child who talked non-stop but I enjoyed that about her while we listened to the radio playing on low volume.
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