“He got tomatoes, though.”
“I figured that was for the sandwiches.”
Demetrius laughed. He went into the kitchenette.
“You’re going to make sauce from two measly tomatoes?” I said. “I don’t see how.”
“Gravy not sauce,” said Demetrius, grinning at me. “And it’ll be shortcut gravy. It’s something my Nonna taught me. You want to help?”
I shifted on my feet. “Help? I don’t know how to do anything in the kitchen.”
“I’ll teach you,” he said. “Come on.”
I followed him into the kitchenette.
He went searching through the drawers for knives and came up with an enormous blade and a paring knife. He handed me the paring knife. “Okay, what you’re going to do is dice the tomatoes.”
“Dice? What’s that mean?”
“Cut them into little cubes.” He handed me a tomato and a plate to use as a cutting board. “I’ll chop the rest of the vegetables.” He started to get to work on the onion.
I stared at the tomato. How was I supposed to cut into cubes? “Um? Demetrius?”
He turned to look at me, and he laughed. “You’re really that helpless?”
“I’m not helpless.” I glared at him.
His big, strong arms came around mine. He set the tomato in the center of the plate and guided my hand to used the knife. “Cut it in half to start, like this.”
I leaned back against his chest, feeling engulfed by him. I felt tingly, as if I was starting to wake up again.
“Now cut each of these halves into slices,” he said, demonstrating. “You do the other half.”
I did. “Like that?”
“Not so hard.”
I looked up at him.
His face hovered above mine.
We gazed at each other for a moment.
He pulled back, coughing. “Well, uh, anyway, just cut those slices cross ways and then cut the strips into dices.”
I turned back to the tomatoes.
We worked in silence for a while.
When I had diced both tomatoes, Danger put them in a skillet which was already sizzling with oil and onions and peppers. “This cooks the water out of the tomato quickly,” he said to me. “Makes a quick gravy. I wish we had some basil, but salt and pepper will have to work.”
It smelled divine.
He tossed the pasta into some boiling water and browned some hamburger in another skillet.
I tried to watch everything that he was doing, to memorize it. I wanted to be able to do this on my own. I had to admit that I’d never had what he had. I’d never watched anyone cook. My mother hadn’t been around when I was growing up. She’d skipped out when I was young, and it had always only been my dad and me. Dad hadn’t had any idea how to cook.
At the end, I’d always wished I could do more for him, but I couldn’t even make him a home-cooked meal. I had failed him in so many ways.
No more failure, that was what I’d vowed to myself.
And now, here I was, standing next to Demetrius, and everything about him was distracting me from what was important. I couldn’t let his presence make it impossible for me to do my job. Maybe the problem was that unfinished feeling that I’d had last night.
Maybe… if the two of us actually did what we’d started last night, but properly, I’d get it all out of my system.
Of course, I didn’t know if he’d want to, after the disaster of the previous evening.
But he had seemed eager enough before…
I wasn’t sure.
I puzzled over it as the pasta finished cooking.
Then Danger dished up plates for us. After I took the first bite, all thoughts were wiped out of my mind. The food was delicious. The sauce was fresh, full of tomato-y flavor, and the onions and peppers were perfectly cooked. I chewed with my eyes closed, not wanting anything to distract me from how wonderful it tasted.
I might have moaned.
“Good?”
My eyes snapped open. “Oh, yeah, it’s great. Sorry for, um… for…”
“It’s okay,” he said. “I like watching you eat.” His voice lowered. “I really like watching you eat.”
I blushed again. I turned my attention to the pasta. I could have shoveled bite after bite into my mouth, but the truth was that I liked the way it tasted, and I wanted to slowly savor each bite, chewing slowly before I swallowed. So, I only took another small bite.
“You obviously love food,” he said. “You should learn to cook.”
I twined pasta around my fork. “I never really had a chance. No one in my family really cooked growing up.”
He shrugged. “That’s what YouTube is for.”
I laughed. I put another delicious bite in my mouth, and closed my eyes to chew it again. Even though the taste wasn’t new, it was still so good. I didn’t care right then about carbs or calories. All I cared about was taste.
Demetrius cleared his throat. “Uh, Kiera, I know you don’t want to talk about what happened last night, but I think that—”
“Actually, I have a proposition for you.” I opened my eyes. The yummy food was making me bold, apparently.
He furrowed his brow.
I pointed at him with my fork. “So, okay, there’s obviously like tension between us. I thought it was just me, and maybe after I made such an ass of myself last night, it is just me, but—”
“You didn’t make an ass of yourself. What are you talking about?”
I pushed noodles around on my plate. “It was kind of embarrassing.”
“Huh.” He considered. “I guess I can see how it might have been that way for you. I just feel really bad—”
“Well, stop.” I ate another bite of pasta.
“I can’t just stop. I can’t stop thinking about it, and I want you to know that I’m not that kind of guy. I don’t just… just force myself—”
“What?” I wrinkled up my nose. “Don’t be silly. I was into it. You didn’t force me into anything. Anyway, we’re getting off topic.”
“We are?”
“Yeah, I was saying that I think there’s tension between us. Physical tension.”
He nodded slowly. “Okay, I see that.”
“I mean, like I said, I don’t know if you still feel it, after everything.”
“No, I definitely still feel… tension toward you.”
My heart skipped a beat. Why did that make me feel so good? “Well, like I said, it’s physical, right? It’s probably why we’re always arguing.”
He licked his lips. “You think that’s why?”
I nodded. “Oh, definitely. It’s probably just this undercurrent to our interaction. I mean, you’re an attractive man, and when I look at you, it’s really distracting sometimes.”
“Really? You’re distracted by me?”
“Sure,” I said.
“Because I find you very distracting.” His voice was ragged.
I sucked in breath. Wow. That was nice to hear, too. I looked up at him.
His brown eyes were intense and deep.
I had the sudden urge to set down my plate, go to him, and run my fingers through his facial hair, kiss his forehead, kiss his nose, put my lips on his lips… I ate more pasta instead.
“So, um, even after what I did last night? You don’t hold that against me?”
I shook my head. “I shouldn’t have lied to you. I just… I didn’t want you to think…”
“I get it.” His jaw twitched.
I took a deep breath, trying to get myself back on track. “Well, okay, so maybe the only way to break the tension between us is just to go ahead and give in to it. Maybe we should try it again.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“Because it would help,” I said. “If we just got it out of our systems, then we wouldn’t fight anymore. It would be like deflating a balloon.” I thought idly that Blaze had said something about getting something out of Danger’s system… He couldn’t have meant…
&nbs
p; Demetrius rubbed his jaw. He wasn’t looking at me.
“And,” I said, rushing forward, “it would sort of be a favor to me.”
“A what?” He was incredulous.
“Because,” I told my uneaten food, “I’m sort of in this kind of weird virgin/not virgin space right now, and I’d rather just get it over with, and I think you’re very nicely shaped, and you did all these things to me last night that were so amazing, and I feel all flustered when I’m around you, and I’d really appreciate it you’d just… if we could…” Damn it. Now, I began shoveling the pasta into my mouth. Why had I even brought this up? He wasn’t going to go for it. I had thought I was embarrassed before, but that didn’t compare. Now, I just wanted to die.
“Look, I don’t think that it’s a good idea,” he said slowly. “Don’t get me wrong, I want…” He swallowed. “I just don’t know if I’m the right person to do this for you. I’m not… I’m not a good man. And I don’t know if I…” He got up out of his chair and took his plate over to the sink. He started running the water. He said something else, but I couldn’t hear him over the rush of the faucet.
“What?” I said. “Turn off the water.”
He turned it off, but he didn’t look at me. He gripped the counter, head bowed, the muscles banding in his forearms. “I’m afraid that I won’t be able to keep control of myself. Last night, the things that I wanted to do to you… Those things shouldn’t be done to a virgin.”
Something leapt inside me, and my clit throbbed. His words excited me somehow. They shouldn’t have. But I suddenly wanted him with vicious force. My mouth dry, I whispered, “I can handle it.”
He looked over his shoulder at me. “Kiera,” he rasped. “You don’t understand.”
“So, show me.” I set down my plate and stood up. I went to him.
He let go of the counter and reached for me, but then he stopped. He shook his head. “I won’t. I promised myself I wouldn’t hurt you.”
I closed the distance between us, put both my hands against his pecks. “You won’t hurt me,” I murmured.
He shut his eyes. “It’s not only that.”
I molded my hands to the angles of him. He was warm granite, living and breathing, but sculpted and perfect. “Please. If you reject me—”
“Kiera, I’m not the person you want to give your virginity to.” But his voice wasn’t strong.
I dragged my hands down over his stomach. “Stop talking about it like we’re in some stupid after-school special,” I breathed. “This is a solution to a work-related problem.”
He opened his eyes. “What if… you…? Sometimes, having sex makes people feel…”
I pressed against him, looking up at him. “I’m not going to fall madly in love with you or something like that. Get over yourself.”
He let out a short burst of nervous laughter.
“After we do this, we’ll go back to the way it was before,” I said. “Only it will be better, because there won’t be all the tension.”
He shook his head. “No, this is a bad idea.”
“It’s a good idea,” I said, and I stepped back away from him. I tugged my shirt over my head.
He let out a hissing breath. “Don’t do that.”
I reached back and unhooked my bra. Slowly, I peeled it away, revealing my breasts.
He groaned.
I reached down and undid the button of my jeans.
He was staring at my naked chest with parted lips. He looked slightly dazed.
The power of that made me feel lightheaded. I unzipped my zipper.
His tongue darted out, wetting his bottom lip. He didn’t take his eyes off me.
I peeled my pants over my hips, taking my panties with them, baring myself completely to him. I should have felt self-conscious, but the look in his eyes was so hungry for me that I only felt aroused and pleased.
“Fuck.” He tried to look away from me, but his gaze came back, as if he couldn’t help himself.
I stepped out of my pants and then I went to him again.
His jaw worked.
I took one of his hands and I placed it on my breast. “I liked the way you touched me here,” I said softly, and now I felt a little shy. But it was too late to go back now. “I never knew anything could feel so good.”
He reached out and rubbed the back of his knuckles over my cheek. “You’re beautiful.” He didn’t take his other hand away from my breast.
“So are you,” I said.
“I’m hard for you,” he said in a choked voice, reaching for my hand and putting it against his pants.
I felt him through his clothes, straining and stiff. I gasped. I had forgotten about the hugeness of him. A little tendril of fear shot through me, but it was swallowed up in anticipation. “Kiss me,” I whispered.
“Fuck,” he said again. “I’m going to hell.” And then his lips were on mine, and they were just as sweet and urgent as I remembered. He parted my lips with his tongue, nudged it against mine, and claimed me. He brought his other hand up to my other breast, and then his fingers were on my nipples again, and it was sublime.
I moaned against his mouth, jolts of pleasure going through me, lighting me up, making me clench between my legs.
We stayed that way for some time, his fingers working at my breasts, teasing my nipples stiff, pinching them, rubbing them. All the while he kissed me thoroughly, making me crazy with his tongue.
My hand was still on his cock, but I wasn’t really sure what to do with it there. I couldn’t quite grip him through his clothes, so I just tried to rub him.
He responded to me, his hips moving against my hand, and he kissed me harder.
I guessed I was doing it okay. But I was starting to get a little bit more frightened, because he seemed to be getting even bigger. Still, that fear was exciting as well. I liked riding this edge, challenging myself to each new part of this experience.
He lowered his mouth to my breasts, kissing and licking my sensitive, stiff nipples. He sucked each into his mouth. He grazed them with his teeth.
I cried out, throwing back my head. I wanted to climb him, and suddenly, I was, wrapping my legs around his body.
His hands went around me, cupping the cheeks of my ass, holding me in place effortlessly.
The feel of his clothes against my naked skin was stimulating. Especially rubbing my inner thighs against his jeans. The sensation took me to another level of pleasure.
His pelvis was against mine, now, and there was no barrier between us except his clothes. I could feel his erection pressing into my most sensitive place. He thrust against me.
I clenched. I sighed. I wanted him there. I felt empty, I realized, and I needed him to fill me up. “Please,” I whispered.
He grunted.
And then I realized that I was wet and getting my juices all over his clothes, and I was embarrassed, and I wanted to pull away.
But he was carrying me into the other room, the hungry look in his eyes almost ravenous, and that expression made my pulse pound. He lay me down on the air mattress.
My legs fell open, and I felt self conscious. I tried to close them.
He grasped my knees and pulled them apart. “I want to look at you,” he said in a hoarse voice.
I started to tremble. I wasn’t sure why. It was just that suddenly, I felt so very exposed, and I wasn’t sure.
His finger nudged my clit.
Everything went away in a mini-earthquake of twitches. I huffed.
He rocked back on his feet and yanked his shirt over his head.
I wanted to touch him, but he was back between my legs again, slowly tracing circles around my clit.
I was dissolving. That felt so nice. My breath quickened and my hips started to buck of their own volition.
His finger went lower, circling my opening. “Are you… sore?” he breathed.
“I don’t… think so,” I muttered. I was having a hard time thinking of anything more than the fact that I wanted his fingers ba
ck on my clit.
Very slowly, he eased a finger inside me.
Oh, that was so good. I moaned.
“Jesus, you’re tight,” he said in strangled voice.
“Mmm,” I agreed, rotating my hips against his pleasant invasion.
“Can you take another finger?” He pushed it inside me.
Even fucking better. I pumped against him enthusiastically.
“This is okay?”
“Better than okay,” I managed. “Do it. I want it.” I sought out his gaze and looked deep into his eyes. “I want you.”
He hesitated. But then he was taking off his pants, and he was naked, and he was kissing me, pressing against me, all of him bare and solid and silky against my skin.
And I was kissing him back and letting my fingers roam over his back and cupping his ass, which was gloriously round.
He fumbled with a condom between his legs, and then he was pressing against me.
I shuddered. Now, it was real, and he was going to do it, and I tensed.
His cock pushed at me.
My body resisted him. It was like before. He was too big, and there was no way this was going to work. I felt like crying. I was frustrated and turned on and apprehensive all at the same time.
His fingers were there instead. He stroked me, spread my wetness out. “Relax, Kiera,” he whispered.
“I…” I realized that I’d slammed my eyes shut at some point, and now I opened them.
He was looking back at me. “Do you want me to stop?”
I shook my head, but I wasn’t sure.
“We don’t have to do this.”
“I want to. It’s just….” I swallowed. “You’re very big.”
He let out a little sigh. “You keep saying that. It turns me on when you say that.”
“I’m not trying to turn you on,” I said in a tiny voice.
His tone was rough. “That just turns me on more.” He kissed me. “Let’s take it slow, okay?” he muttered in a strained voice.
I nodded, but he’d said that last time, and it hadn’t felt very slow.
His thumb put gentle pressure on my clit. He rubbed it. And he pressed against my entrance at the same time.
I yelped.
He was in me again, and he was stretching me.
It didn’t hurt, but it felt a little uncomfortable, and I wasn’t sure…
Rough: A Hitman Romance Page 11