"Thank you for saying it so bluntly. I know you're right."
As Andrew took our empty beer bottles to his kitchen to put in his recycle bin, his girlfriend arrived. She was a down-to-earth woman named Willow, a few years older than me, with long and uncurled brown hair that reached to her waist. She thought nothing of finding her boyfriend shirtless with another man and offered me a slice of the margherita cheese pizza she had brought for Andrew. I politely declined, thanked Andrew for the chat, and wished him and Willow a good night.
When very moved by an experience, I often like to write it down. This was one of those moments. Tipsy and writing with sloppy penmanship, I poured our my recollections of my talk with Andrew and tried to recall his exact words. When I was finally finished, I had some solace that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I also had some clarity. I wouldn't be calling Tom's number. I pulled his note out of my wallet, folded it, and shredded it into a hundred pieces of confetti. It tumbled out of the palm of my hand into the trash can under my sink.
If only I had the foresight to also ask Andrew his opinion about whether to meet Leo again...
Chapter 9
On Sunday morning I was torn on what to do. During the past few days I had repeatedly changed my mind about whether I would meet Leo. Fantasizing more about Andrew, I kept telling myself that Leo was not someone I needed. In hindsight, I think I was trying to convince myself of that idea.
Or maybe seeing Leo again just had to happen. I seemed to have structured my morning so that meeting Leo remained a likelihood. I got up early and completed two loads of laundry. I squeezed a long jog between breakfast and lunch. I even caught some television and a few more chapters of a great mystery novel by Sue Grafton that I had picked up at the town library.
At two o'clock in the afternoon, our scheduled meeting time, I was still in my duplex. Oddly, I didn't feel in control of the situation. An idea crept into my head that Leo was not going to show up anyway. I was just another guy at another truck stop, as he constantly criss-crossed the country hauling and delivering furniture between businesses and collectors.
Resolute that I didn't want to risk harassment by Tom, and that I would forego the showers, I headed out of the duplex toward the truck stop about fifteen minutes past the hour. I had promised Leo I would meet him. It would just take a few minutes to traipse over there and grab a smoothie or something to sip on in the food court. If Leo actually showed up, then I might tell him about Tom and his probing questions.
Walking by the truck stop coffee shop where Leo and I had met, I noticed him sitting on the same stool as before, right up against the window so he could watch people strolling by in the hallway. Once again Leo was attired in a denim jacket, jeans, and a Western-style shirt. He stood up when he spotted me and relief seemed to wash over his face.
We shook hands, exchanged smiles, and did one of those awkward half embraces that men in public sometimes do. He motioned for me to take the stool beside him, recreating our positions from the week before.
"What would you like?" Leo asked.
I saw that he was drinking an espresso. "What you are having," I answered. "I can get it myself."
"Let me take care of it."
I watched Leo at the counter ordering my drink. His physique was even more attractive than I had remembered. He stood with his hands in his pockets and waited in a short line, occasionally kicking the heel of his work boot against the floor. I imagined he had been waiting for me the past twenty minutes, so I felt guilty that I hadn't made the proper effort to arrive on time.
Leo returned with my drink and patted me on the shoulder while he placed the espresso in front of me.
"Thank you," I said. "I apologize for being a tad late."
"The important thing is you made it," he replied.
"I thought you might have forgotten about all of this."
Leo arched his eyebrows and made a clicking sound with his mouth. "Can I tell you something?"
"What?"
"I was up hours before dawn just to get here for you."
The espresso was still too hot to sip. It burned the tip of my tongue and I set it down. "Really, only for me?"
"Yep."
"It's good seeing you, Leo. But I hope you're not disappointed in what I'm about to tell you. I can't go in the showers with you again."
"I wasn't planning on that anyway."
"You weren't? That's what I thought you wanted."
"Listen, I am still way behind on my route. I drove countless miles out of my way just to see you again. I have to get back on the road as soon as we finish these espressos."
My guilt escalated. I hadn't begun to realize what I meant to him. His actions and candor had me swooning. "When can you drop by again?" I asked.
"Not for a few weeks," Leo answered. He pushed his knees against mine. "But I have a proposition for you, Kieran. Don't say no."
I chuckled and one of my legs twitched against him. "Before I say yes, you better tell me what it is."
"Would you play around with me this afternoon if I could find a way to make it work?"
"Yes, but not in the showers." I wondered if Leo would ask to go to my unit in the duplex and my mind raced with possible excuses. I wanted to be with him. Seeing his hypnotic eyes again made me certain of that. However, I didn't want to risk the chance Andrew would see Leo entering the house, for a reason I wasn't certain about and couldn't have articulated at the time anyway.
"Then come with me," he said, standing and lifting me by the arm. "Bring the espresso. You can finish it in my truck."
I followed Leo out of the building and onto the parking lot. "You're sure about this?"
"Kieran, I didn't come all this way for nothing. Let's have some fun, okay?"
"Is there enough privacy?"
"You'll see."
Leo's semi-trailer shone magnificently in the afternoon sun with a tractor unit painted candy apple red. I climbed the truck's steps to reach the passenger seat. Leo jumped into the driver's seat, started his diesel engine, and slipped on a pair of sunglasses.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"On the road, my friend. Don't worry. I arranged for a way to get you home."
"When?"
"Before nine or ten o'clock tonight, approximately."
"I need more information, please."
"Ride with me and we'll get a few hours together," Leo said. "We're meeting a friend of mine, another trucker, at the state line. He's coming in the opposite direction and he'll bring you home. Simple."
"This won't be awkward for either one of us?" I asked.
"He's a good guy. His name is Hugo. It will be fine."
"I don't know. This is catching me off guard, Leo."
"Trust me," he said, pulling out of the parking lot and turning up the oldies station on his radio.
Chapter 10
My jitters evaporated immediately. We sat so high above the road, looking down and forward through an enormous windshield, that I felt like we were in a moving tower. It was easy to see ahead. The land looked less foreboding. Distances seemed telescoped, closer than they would ever appear at ground level.
Leo was such a handsome stud that his monotone singing voice surprised me. He sang along to the Beatles, Carly Simon, and James Taylor and missed virtually every note. But he was in such soaring spirits and smiling big, that it made him even more adorable to me. This gave me the courage to also sing along to the radio.
By the time we had traveled half an hour, we were both feeling carefree. The truck was a new experience and I congratulated myself on having the bravery to put myself in Leo's hands for the day. I had to remind myself about keeping expectations low, as Leo was the type of person it would be easy to fall hopelessly in love with. I was losing myself, in a way, going with the flow, but I knew there was not likely much of a future between him and me. Who knew how many other men had sat right here in the same seat and had the same thoughts? I didn't want to think about that.
Never
theless, we had the afternoon together, and the height of the truck bestowed enough privacy to make me feel comfortable. I had already known what Leo wanted. Service. And that was fine with me. I lusted mightily for his body and promised myself I would not put him on the spot by questioning why a man who identified himself to me as "straight" wanted to be worshipped by another man. Leo wanted to be sucked while he drove. When another truck passed us by, which wasn't often because he was barreling down the highway at such a good clip, Leo would press my head lower, below the line of the window, to ensure we weren't caught by another trucker.
Despite his constant ecstatic moans while inside my mouth, and the rigidity of his erection, I had been working on him for what seemed like at least an hour and he had not reached a single orgasm.
"What's wrong?" he asked when I released him from my mouth and sat upright.
"Tell me what to do."
"Keep going. You're amazing."
"But what else?"
Leo winked at me and smiled. "Sorry I am so selfish."
"What I mean is, what should I do differently so you can come?"
"Nothing. I don't want to blow my wad yet. I want this to last all afternoon."
"All afternoon?"
"Yep, the more build-up, the better the eruption I can give you."
That was sure fine by me. I just wanted the reassurance that I was doing an adequate job. I loved every second of it. I'd keep slurping away until my jaw gave out.
As we covered more miles, Leo's jeans dropped farther down his legs toward his ankles. He had begun rubbing my back and buttocks with his right hand while he drove his rig with his left hand. Frequently, he groaned out my name, in a murmur, encouraging me to keep pumping him with my mouth. What Leo liked best was when I slowed to a crawl and darted my tongue around the circumference of his head and shaft.
Leo's hands and voice lulled me into a semi-hypnotic state. His smoldering eyes bounced around inside my brain, dominating a montage of images, all of Leo, including his smile, his goatee, his facial expressions, his posture, everything. Dropping my guard, emotionally, I fantasized about meeting up with Leo a few times per month, repeating this encounter in his truck, and getting to know him better. I liked how being with him made me feel about myself.
My reverie faded as I noticed that Leo was grinding his hips, pushing himself further against the back of my mouth.
"Here we go, buddy," he muttered between gasps for breath. "Harder now. Don't stop!"
Leo clutched my upper arm and hollered as his body spasmed and he banged out reams of his seed down my throat. Somehow, despite my wonderfully sore jaw, I managed to swallow every drop of him. I kept my head in his lap and his fingers strummed charmingly against my forearm and wrist while he softened in my mouth.
Chapter 11
"I'm curious about something," Leo said. We were zipping through the final miles on the highway before reaching the state line. The sun was behind us and he had flipped off the radio and removed his sunglasses. "Back at the coffee shop you seemed adamant at first about not hooking up with me."
"Not at all," I fibbed. "I wanted to be with you, obviously. Just not in the showers again."
"Then it worked out."
"Definitely."
"The showers spooked you? Afraid of getting caught?"
I told Leo how the electrical power to my duplex had still remained off on Monday, following the storm, and how I had returned to the truck stop to heat up again with coffee and a hot shower. I gave him a condensed version of what happened with Tom and included the questions Tom had asked me in the janitorial closet.
"Did you admit to doing anything with me or tell him anything about me?"
"Of course not. Your name slipped out, but that's it."
"Hmm. Beware of him."
"Is there some sort of history between the two of you?" I asked.
"Nah, though he's trying to catch me red-handed for some reason."
My mind wondered about the possibilities, but Leo's body language made it clear he didn't want to elaborate further. Plus, I didn't want to ruin or taint an incredible afternoon. I just wanted to see Leo again and not do anything that would diminish the chances of having more time with him.
We pulled into a truck stop at the state line. In comparison to the one near my duplex, it was small and uninspired, consisting of just stations for fuel and weighing scales, a mini mart, and an attached burger joint. We parked, but Leo kept the engine running. I wrote my cell number down for him on a piece of scrap paper while he checked his messages and typed a few texts into his phone.
"Hugo's running behind, but he'll be here within the hour," Leo said. "He's wearing a navy cap and driving a green semi. Can you grab a sandwich or something in the meantime?"
"Sure. Can you join me for a few minutes?" I asked, tipping my head toward the restaurant.
"I wish I could. I have to keep on the road."
"This was fun." I handed Leo my number. "Please call me whenever you want to."
"You're a really neat guy, my friend." He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "You deserve way better than me. Someone less selfish."
"But I already knew that about you."
"You did?" Leo's tone rose to an animated level that didn't match our exchange. "How?"
"You had told me in the private shower room that you only wanted to be serviced."
"Oh, that's what you meant."
"Is there another interpretation?" I grinned, hoping he would return to a lighthearted disposition.
"Goodbye, Kieran. Take care of yourself."
Leo pulled out of the truck stop the moment I descended the steps onto the asphalt. I availed myself of the restroom facilities in the mini mart and then got seated in a booth flush against the window of the joint. I ordered the daily special—grilled cheese sandwich on sour dough bread with a bowl of tomato soup—and patiently waited for Hugo. From my vantage point I could watch the highway and parking lot. Most of the heavy trucks sailed right past without even tapping their brakes.
It wasn't until I had finished my last spoonful of soup that a horrible notion sent chills down my spine. Instantly, my mind was barraged with a slew of doubts and questions. How far away was Hugo from really arriving? Leo had not given me either his own number or Hugo's number. In fact, was there really a Hugo? Was I completely stranded here, three hours away from home?
I flushed with shame and self-loathing. It was unthinkable to me that Leo had intended harm. But I had been a fool. Why hadn't I insisted on those phone numbers instead of worrying about his ability to call me? Something strange had affected Leo's demeanor in the moments before he dropped me off. "Selfish" is the word he had used, for the second time during the afternoon.
My panic subsided when I observed a forest green semi pull into the truck stop and park. I couldn't see inside the truck's cabin because of the shadows and the glare of the early evening sun. The semi seemed to idle for a few minutes and then a burly man stepped out. I evaluated him as he slowly plodded toward the mini mart adjacent to the restaurant. He wore a cutter-style cowboy hat with creased sides that flattered his bearded face. Dark sunglasses, which were unnecessary this late in the day, completely hid his eyes. He was attired in a button-down shirt that strained against his broad shoulders. Faded jeans, worn too tight since the style of the 1970s or 1980s, over stylish cowboy boots, completed his look. He lit a cigarette and scanned the parking lot, presumably looking for me. He reminded me of one of those hunky men starring in classic television shows like The Dukes of Hazzard or B.J and the Bear.
I paid my bill at the diner and waited for Hugo outside of the mini mart. He emerged seconds later carrying an energy drink.
"Hugo?" I said, stepping forward.
"You got me," he replied, shaking my hand with an especially large hand and firm grip. "You ready to go?"
"Yes, I am relieved to see you. I worried there had been a mix-up."
Hugo shook his head and maintained a leisurely pace moving toward
his truck. "I'm glad to have the company."
"Thank you for saying that," I replied. "I wondered if Leo and I were imposing on you by troubling you to take me home."
We left the truck stop and Hugo got his rig to full speed on the highway. He had taken his hat off, hanging it from a ceiling nodule, revealing thick and wavy hair pressed against his scalp.
"Have you known Leo for a long time?" I asked, hoping to make conversation. Hugo's radio was off and his eyes were glued to the road.
"A while," he answered. "Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself, Ken?"
"It's Kieran."
"Kevin? How do you say that? Keenan?"
"It doesn't matter," I responded. "Just call me Ken if you want."
I told Hugo some basic things about me, mostly about my job at the wetlands preserve and what it was like working there. I couldn't tell if he was really paying attention or not, but he occasionally said things like "uh huh" or "okay" to keep me going.
"You're quite the talker," he declared, interrupting me as I told him about the training options for park ranger positions.
"Pardon me," I said, voicing a tone of apology rather than asking him to repeat himself.
"You see, I don't mind silence."
"Very well." I turned my attention to the horizon. Blocks of gloomy clouds patterned a colorful sky with hues of violet and orange. It appeared to be raining off in the distance.
In my field of vision, out of the corner of my left eye, I noticed Hugo fumbling with his hands in his lap. I glanced his way. He had undone his belt buckle. I turned toward him and he proceeded to unbutton and unzip his jeans. Hugo didn't say a word. He had a smirk on his face. He reached into the fly of his boxers and pulled his erection out. It stood rigidly at attention, straight upward with impressive girth. He dropped his right arm to his side so that my view was unobstructed.
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