A Trip Back to Snowy Pines
Lisa Pendergrass
Copyright 2015 by Lisa Pendergrass
Smashwords Edition
A Trip Back to Snowy Pines
This book is dedicated to the idea that we all have angels who come into our lives just when we need them. Thank you to one of my favorite Christmas movies – It’s A Wonderful Life for all the quotes that make it a movie that is part of our lives! A Trip Back to Snowy Pines
Chapter 1
“You look at me as if you don’t know me.” … Mary Hatch
December 21st
“It’s Christmas Lola. Why don’t you just come with us?”
Lola McCauley looked at her husband Chris and she knew he meant it. She knew nothing would make him happier than for her to take his hand and follow him and Ethan out to the car to spend Christmas together… a family. But Christ didn’t know everything. And most of all he didn’t know that them being together was the last thing on earth that Lola wanted to happen. So instead of taking his hand she shook her head and said the well-rehearsed mantra she’d chanted to herself for the days. “No I really shouldn’t. The of the term temporary separation are clear. He’s yours until Christmas morning. I’ll see him later than day. He’s been so excited about this ski trip.”
“He’s not going to be excited when he realizes you’re not going to be with us.” Chris argued.
“You’re his father. He’ll be fine. Besides, he has to get used to this.” She explained, looking back him to watch their chubby five-year-old son Ethan running in the yard with the neighbor’s dog.
Chris shrugged and turns to watch him as well. “Lo, I made one stupid, thoughtless mistake, but you’re the love of my life. I have no intentions of getting used to a life that doesn’t include us spending out lives together raising our son as a family.”
“It’s not that simple… and it isn’t only your decision.”
Lola watched his face fall and hated herself a little. When he looked sad like this he looked exactly like the sweet faced fourteen-year old who’d moved in across the street from her when she was eleven. Sometimes it seemed she must have loved him on sight. Other times she wonders if she ever loved him at all. Maybe they were just two stupid kids who enjoyed making out and thought they could build a life together based on that alone.
“Come on daddy, let’s go!” Ethan begged tugging on Chris’s hand.
They looked so much alike it sometimes knocked the wind out of her. They have the same wavy, chestnut-brown hair, the same natural olive skin that turns to a flawless copper-tone tan at the first hint of sunshine, and the same golden-brown eyes that looked like sparkling topaz when they’re happy, and like melted chocolate ice cream when they’re sad.
“See, listen to our son. Time’s a wasting.” She said motioning toward the driveway.
Chris looked down at Ethan and said, “Did you kiss Grandma Goodbye?”
Ethan wrinkles his nose and Lola stepped in to his defense. “Mom’s asleep. No need to wake her.” She leaned down and looked at him and the fact that she was about to go one solid week without seeing him, especially at Christmas, was almost enough to make her cave and go with them. He’d never been away from her for more than a night and now they would be apart for four days. It suddenly felt like too much.
“Okay, so I’ll talk to you every day and you’ll send me lots of pictures, right?” She asked, fighting to keep the tears from her voice, and for the first time Ethan looked like he was questioning whether he wanted to do this.
“I’ll miss you a whole lot, mommy.”
“You and daddy will be having way too much fun to miss me. And I’ll see you on Christmas day. Santa will come see you with daddy and with me.”
Why can’t he just see me all at the same time?” He asks, rubbing his ear. When Lola first graduated from nursing school and began working it was on the night shift so she put one of Chris’s old baseball jerseys that had become her sleep shirt in Ethan’s crib so he would be comforted by her scent. By the time he was three he dragged it everywhere, and rubbed his ears with it when he was upset. He finally let it go a little over a year ago, but when he’s upset he still tended to rub his ears.
“Come on buddy. We’ve talked about this, remember?” Chris says, and Lola is grateful because she’s not sure she could have done it. “We’re going to have a great time and then you’ll be home with mommy and have a great time again.”
She watched them walk out to Chris’s late model Explorer and wave as Ethan climbs in the backseat, but then she turned quickly hearing her mama’s admonishment that watching a car drive away is bad luck.
A memory of being 5 or 6 and having mama leave her at home to go on a date flashed through her mind.
“Go in the house and stay away from the window. You know, it’s bad luck to watch mama drive away.”
Somewhere along the line Lola realized that she more than likely said that because it made her feel guilty to drive away with her watching at the window, but she held to it just in case there was any truth to it. And because at the end of the day… she was still her mama.
She walked back into the house and, speaking of mama, there she sat at her Formica kitchen table – the one that was long out of style when Lola was a little girl – smoking a cigarette and drinking her umpteenth cup of coffee.
“Mama you’re smoking in the house.” Lola scolded weakly. Hollow words, but she needed to say something.
“He’s gone.” Mama says by way of explanation.
“But it’s disgusting and it’s bad for the house… not to mention bad for you.”
She stubs it out and crossed the room to squeeze Lola’s shoulders. “Lighten up baby girl. You don’t care about this house. You don’t even care about my health.”
“Mama, that’s a horrible thing to say. Of course I do!” Lola argued. It was true she and her mother had shared more than few rough patches through life, but she’d never doubted her mother’s love and she’d always felt the same about her.
“Oh, you know what I mean. It’s just that this house is a dump, and I’ve done far worse to my health than these things.” She said, lighting up another and then coughing… whether for effect or for real, Lola couldn’t be sure.
Alice Hayes was once what some would have called a looker. She was tall and lanky with just a few curves, glossy blonde hair and a laugh that made men positively stupid. But too many cigarettes, too much alcohol and three decades of bad relationships had left her faded, bitter and brassy. Lola saw enough of herself in her mother to never forget how easy it would be to follow in her stiletto-heeled footsteps.
“While this house might be a dump, we’re here. And I’m thankful for it.” Lola said looking around at the worn carpet and faded walls. It wasn’t the worst place she’d ever lived; but it certainly couldn’t compare to the little townhouse close to the University of Maryland Medical Center where she worked as a nurse. She and Chris had purchased it just last year and with a little love, a lot of attention and a whole lot of sanding, painting and elbow grease - they’d turned the 3 bedroom, two story brownstone into her dream house.
“I’ve not always been the best mother, but you know as long as I have a roof over my head, you’ll have a home. The same goes for Ethan… and anyone else who should come along.” She stated, clucking Lola under the chin. Lola hugged her impulsively and was just about to give into her urge to wallow when her mother’s demeanor turned steely. “But let me just say this Lola Catherine – Chris McCauley is the best thing that ever happened to you, and I don�
��t know what exactly he’s done, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it’s not enough to be worth you leaving him and tearing apart your family.”
“Mama, you don’t understand.” Lola said exasperatedly.
“He’s doesn’t beat you?”
“No ma’am.”
“And you say he’s not cheating on you.” She pressed further.
“Mama, I wish it was that simple but it’s not. I love Chris. And I know he’s a good father and a good husband. There are just things going on with us that make it impossible for us to be together. I wish you could just respect me.”
“Lola, I’ve been married four times. You were there for three of those. I’ve been in a dozen other equally destructive relationships. Some of them I couldn’t get out of fast enough when I realized they’d gone bad and others of them I fought tooth and nail to hang on to. But they all had one thing in common. At least one of us wanted out. Chris looks miserable and so are you so that tells me you two don’t want out. So why don’t you pick up that phone and call him back before he gets too far away and spend Christmas with your husband and your son.”
“Mama, I love you but you really don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lola said angrily. “I’m going to work.”
“I thought you were off till tomorrow afternoon. Aren’t you working the night shift while Ethan is gone?” Nightshift nurses made slightly more money so Lola was picking up some shifts while Ethan was gone for the extra money.
“I am, but I have a patient… a little girl who was in a car wreck and she’s by herself. Her mother was killed, her father’s in critical condition and she had surgery today. I promised I’d check on her.” Lola said, grabbing her handbag and keys.
“Take a coat.”
“It’s 73 degrees outside.” Lola argued.
“The weather is going to break eventually and when it does it’ll hit quickly. Mark my word.”
***
“What are you doing here girl? I thought you were off till tomorrow night at 11:00.” Asked Abby, one of the respiratory therapist from the pediatric floor.
“Yeah, I swapped with Hillary so she could be on dayshift while her kids were out of school. But the little girl in 732 had surgery to set her wrist fracture today. I promised I’d check on her.”
Abby wrinkled her brow, and studied Lola with dark brown eyes. “And where’s your little boy?”
“He’s skiing with his dad.” Lola answered, looking down at a chart, but not really seeing.
Abby snapped her head around, her springy black curls whipping around her smooth brown skin. “Please tell me you two didn’t go through with the separation. That is not the kind of man you separate from voluntarily.”
Lola shook her head. “We’re just taking some time.”
“Hmmhmm. Sounds like a mistake to me.” Lola heard her muttering as she walked away and Lola headed down the hall, wondering if she was right.
She opened the door and found the olive skinned brunette girl asleep with her arm heavily bandaged. Florrie Gentry had seen more tragedy in the last 48 hours than she’d probably seen in her entire ten years of life. Lola checked her chart and then sat down beside her bed. She realized as she sat there, that with Chris and Ethan gone, she had nowhere else to be. It was an unsettling thought.
Three months ago everything in her life had been so set… so settled. She’d really been happy, truly happy and sure of things for the first time ever. And then the rug had been pulled out from under her. Suddenly it felt like things were being tossed at her, decisions having to be made, choices forced on her that she’d never thought she’d have to choose. But then she looked at Florrie Gentry and she knew that her choices were nothing compared to what Florrie was facing… especially if her father didn’t come through.
“It hurts.” Florrie whispered softly from the bed.
Lola jumped to her feet and reached for Florrie’s good hand. “Where does it hurt?”
“Everywhere.” Florrie answered, her lips trembling. “You’re Lola. You came back to see me.”
“I did.” Lola answered softly.
“How’s my dad?” She asked groggily.
“I haven’t heard anything, but I’ll check on him for you.”
Lola made some calls while Florrie drifted in and out of awake and asleep and learned that he was still listed as critical but stable. “They’re going to come up and get you and take you over to visit him at his next visiting hour which is in about a half hour.” Lola explained.
“Thank you.” Florrie said and then looked out the window, her eyes filling with tears. “They told me my mom is dead.”
Lola reached or her hand again. “I know. I’m so sorry Florrie.”
“I… I had this dream. It was so real. She was dead in my dream too, but I was okay. I was sad, but I knew someday I’d see her again… and she’d be watching out for me. When I woke up, I was hoping that was just part of the dream, but it wasn’t. And now… I don’t feel okay. I just feel sad… and scared.” She said tremulously.
“Oh Florrie, I don’t know how you feel. I know this is the worst thing that could happen at your age, but I do know about being alone and scared and not knowing what the future holds. My husband and my son… they’re together on a trip without me. My husband and I aren’t… together right now. And I’m so scared. I don’t know what’s coming next for me. And once, when I was a little bit younger than you, my mama and I were in a car wreck.”
“Were you okay?”
“I was okay. But my mom… well, my mom was taking some pills she shouldn’t have been taking.”
“I’m 10 Lola. I know all about what it means to be on drugs.” Florrie interrupted.
“Of course you do. Well my mama was a druggie. She’d been on something my whole life. When we had the wreck she was high as a kite. So when I woke up in the hospital a week before Christmas I went into protective custody while mama was in rehab. It was the worst, scariest time in my whole life. But I got through it. You’ll get through this too.”
Lola went downstairs with Florrie to see her father in ICU. She wasn’t sure if it had been a good idea or not. He never woke up and Florrie just sat by his bed watching monitors beeping and tubes filled with medicine and fluids. Once they were back in Florrie’s room, Lola promised she’d stay until she went to sleep. They ended up watching a Disney movie together and then Florrie went to sleep. Lola wasn’t sure but she thought she was crying even in her sleep, so she stayed until she drifted into a deeper sleep. In truth Lola stayed later than she should have, mostly because she didn’t want to go home. Finally she left at just before midnight, cranking her second hand Civic and starting out of the parking lot.
It was a long drive back to west Baltimore, where her mama’s house was but Lola didn’t mind. She liked to drive, liked the solitude of being in the car alone with just her thoughts and her radio.
Talking to Florrie tonight about the wreck she and her mother were in had brought back memories… most specifically Florrie’s story about the dream she’d had. It reminded Lola of a dream she’d had… she wasn’t sure if it was after the wreck or in the following weeks when she developed pneumonia and ran a very high fever but she had a dream that was so real she’d never quite been able to shake the feeling that she’d somehow been in another place with people she was certain were more than just figments of her imagination. Parts of it were still hazy, but she remembered the carnival, and cutting down a Christmas tree and a pretty blonde lady who looked a lot like her mother, but who never did drugs, or dated inappropriate men. Someone who fixed her hair and bought her lots of pretty clothes and taught her how to make Christmas cookies. Her mama had never been much of a cook and neither was Lola but she made a homemade butter cookie that everyone raved about… and for the life of her the only place she ever remembered making them before was in her dreams with the blonde lady.
A Trip Back to Snowy Pines (Book II in the Christmas Village Trilogy) Page 1