“My woman, still you have not looked long enough in a mirror, or you would see how wrong you are to say that you are not pretty,” Strong Wolf said. “You are even lovelier than my mother.”
“I certainly hope not,” Hannah said, laughing softly. “I would hate to think that your mother might resent me the moment she sees me.”
Someone clearing their throat made Hannah suddenly remember they were not alone. Blushing, Hannah turned to her mother.
“Mother, it’s time,” she said, reaching a hand out for her. “I soon will become a bride! Please be happy for me! Please share my wondrous feelings!”
Grace reached for a lacy, embroidered handkerchief inside her dress pocket. She dabbed her nose and her eyes with it, then nodded. “I am happy for you,” she murmured. “And never doubt how beautiful you are.”
Hannah broke away from Strong Wolf and hugged her mother. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Oh, Mother, I will miss you so when you return to Saint Louis.”
“Your father and I must leave immediately after the ceremony,” Grace said. “The riverboat from Saint Louis should be arriving within the hour. We are going to travel downriver for a while before returning home. Your father and I need a vacation.”
“That’s wonderful,” Hannah said. “You do need time to yourselves.”
Hannah stepped away from her mother, then went to Strong Wolf. She took his hand and smiled up at him.
They stepped aside as her mother left the cabin first, then they followed her outside.
Everyone stood with eyes wide and in awe of Hannah as she made her way toward the central, outdoor fire, where a platform had been erected beside it for her and Strong Wolf. Flowers were scattered everywhere along the ground, sending off sweet and spicy aromas.
Earlier, several warriors had killed several ducks and had planted sharp-pointed sticks in the ground around the leaping flames of the huge outdoor fire. On each stake they had fastened a duck to roast. They had buried several under the ashes to bake.
Other meat hung from spits over the fire, dripping their tantalizing juices into the flames. The smell of corn, squash, beans, and many more vegetables wafted through the air from the large pots positioned in the coals around the edge of the fire. Coffee boiled in a huge pot. Tea had been prepared, as well as honey water.
While Hannah had been walking toward the platform, she had not been able to see Chuck at the organ through the crowd, or her mother and father, who were now standing close to the platform, waiting for them.
Hannah was surprised when she saw a minister standing there holding a Bible, a wide smile on his thick-jowled face. She looked questioningly at her parents, who smiled and nodded back at her, then to Strong Wolf, seeking answers.
“Your father asked that you not only be wed in the Potawatomis tradition, but also the white man’s,” Strong Wolf said, smiling down at her. “I agreed. They sent for a minister. Today there will be two ceremonies.”
Hannah smiled up at him. She felt doubly blessed by her God today, and Strong Wolf’s Great Spirit.
Everything became quiet as Strong Wolf and Hannah stepped up to the preacher. Out of the corner of her eyes, Hannah saw Clara leading Chuck from the organ. The ceremony didn’t start until they were standing there with everyone.
Then the preacher began reading scriptures from the Bible. Hannah felt all warm and wonderful inside as she listened. She could hardly believe that, at long last, everything was fitting into place so wonderfully.
However, when she glanced up at Strong Wolf, she noticed that same troubled look she had seen before in his eyes. She wondered what bothered him? What had he not told her about himself?
Would he ever open himself completely to her? She would relax only when she understood the self-doubt he burdened himself with.
Not wanting to allow this to spoil her special day, Hannah wrenched her eyes away from Strong Wolf and listened to the preacher. Her hand reached over to hold Strong Wolf’s. She glanced up at him again quickly when she felt his hand trembling. Again she saw that haunted look in his eyes.
Suddenly nervous herself and now not so sure about what she was doing, Hannah looked away.
Strong Wolf half listened to the word of the white preacher. This was his wedding day, and he still had not confided in his woman his darkest secrets, which haunted him every day of his life.
He knew he should have told her before their vows of marriage, and that he would have to tell her eventually.
But he had not been able to find the courage.
He doubted now that he ever would.
He could not tell her something that might make her turn away from him with a loathing!
If he lost her, he would lose his reason for living.
When the preacher stopped and nodded at Strong Wolf, he left his fear behind and went on with the ceremony.
He turned to face Hannah and gently took her hands. “My woman, here I am in your presence. Make it so forever that only I may occupy your heart.”
Tears filled Hannah’s eyes as she gazed into his. “My husband, here I am in your presence. Make it so forever that only I may occupy your heart, for mine is yours, forever and a day.”
She brushed her fears aside as he then married her in his Potawatomis fashion.
They embraced and kissed and clung, Hannah’s fears returning, for it seemed that Strong Wolf was holding her from sheer desperation. Her heart ached, to know that something was bothering him to this extreme on their wedding day. Surely he didn’t doubt her sincere love for him! She had shown him in every way possible just how much she cared!
The celebration lasted all day, then good-byes were said to Hannah’s mother and father. Chuck and Clara had also left to see them off at the riverboat. Hannah clung to Strong Wolf as she watched them leave in a buggy, a wagon following close behind carrying the organ.
“Now we are alone,” Strong Wolf said, closing the door with his foot. He held Hannah in his arms and carried her toward the bed. “My wife! Do you hear me, Hannah? I can now call you my wife!”
“I like the sound of ‘my husband’ better,” Hannah said, giggling, feeling drunk from the whole day of magic. She had long since forgotten why she had doubted Strong Wolf during the first of the wedding ceremony. Everything had changed so quickly into jubilation; into wonderful laughter, food, and dancing. So euphoric over having finally become Strong Wolf’s bride, Hannah felt as though she were floating on air.
“I promise to make you happy,” Hannah whispered, brushing her lips across his mouth.
“You vowed during the ceremony that you would,” Strong Wolf said, placing her on the bed. “I do not doubt you, or your word.”
“My darling husband, I shall tell you time and again my promise to make you happy, for you are now the center of my universe,” Hannah said as he disrobed her.
Then he wasted no time at disrobing himself as Hannah lay there silkenly nude waiting for him.
When Strong Wolf came to her on the bed, his eyes smoke black with passion, Hannah held her arms out for him and welcomed him. As he kissed her, hotly and tenderly in the same breath, she marveled and groaned when, with a silent rush of power, he drove himself into her, swiftly, surely, deeply.
She twined her arms around his neck and clung to him. She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist and rode him as he came to her with his slow, deep thrusts.
“My darling,” she whispered as he slid his lips downward, to kiss the tall, sweet, soft column of her throat.
And then he swept his tongue around one of her breasts, licking, biting, chewing.
She cried out in soft whimpers beneath the erotic caress of his urgent mouth and hands, his strokes in her never losing their rhythm,
Hannah’s hands moved seductively over his body, rediscovering the bands of muscles along his shoulders and down his back. They were so rocklike, so much like steel to the touch.
Every nerve within her came alive with a hungry need as she swept her one hand around and ma
naged to touch his manhood when he partially withdrew before plunging even more deeply inside her velvet moistness.
With quick, eager fingers, his hands were in her hair, drawing her mouth against his in a fiery, feverish kiss.
His mouth forced her lips open as his kiss grew more and more uncontrollable, more passionate.
Hannah was shot full of strange, wondrous desires that she had never known before. Each time she made love with him, he taught her more skills, the mysteries of love. She was on fire with the sensations of excitement. Her body yearned to know even more, to be what he wished her to be, to do what he wished her to do.
She moaned throatily when he brushed his lips in feathery kisses down to her breasts, then once again claimed a nipple between his teeth where he sucked until it throbbed from the pure, frantic pleasure.
Her head began to reel when she recognized those familiar feelings that came with her reaching the ultimate of pleasure. She clung to him. With her teeth, she nipped at the corded muscles of his shoulders. Her blood surged in a wild thrill.
Strong Wolf felt the pulsating of his longing in his hot loins. His lips brushed the smooth, glassy skin of Hannah’s breasts, his excitement like a deep rumbling of a volcano soon to erupt. He could feel the pleasure spreading in hot splashes throughout him.
Strong Wolf swept his arms around Hannah and drew her closer, sculpting himself to her moist body, molding himself perfectly to the curved hollow of her hips.
He pressed endlessly deeper, feeling the suction of her warm and sweet place, as though warm fingers were inside her, grabbing, sucking, caressing.
Then it came to him in a sensual shock as the pleasure burst forth inside his brain, as though someone had sent sparkles of moonbeams throughout him. He felt it explode as a great shuddering in his loins matched Hannah’s sensual spasms of delight.
He swept his hands down to her buttocks and dug his fingers into her flesh. He lifted her closer as she strained her hips up at him.
He could hear her breath catch and hold, then smiled as she cried out at her own total fulfillment.
Breathing hard, Hannah and Strong Wolf clung to one another when they came down from their height of pleasure. Strong Wolf rolled away from her and lay with his eyes closed as his heartbeats slowed.
Then he turned to Hannah, his hands touching her, turning her, drawing her into the warmth of his body. “I never can get enough of you,” he whispered.
“Nor I you,” Hannah said, closing her eyes with ecstasy as his fingers teased circles around her belly, up to her breasts, just missing the nipples each time so that they strained with added anticipation.
Then he moved away from her, silent for a moment.
He leaned up on an elbow and gazed at her. “Hannah, I’ve had to make a decision lately that I hope you will understand,” he said.
Hannah’s breath caught, praying to herself that this wasn’t the time that he would reveal to her things that she knew he had kept from her. She wanted nothing to spoil this night. She only hoped that her fears were not founded—that he had kept something terrible from her!
“What is it?” she asked, her voice guarded.
He laughed loosely and drew her over, giving her a soft kiss on the lips. “Don’t sound as though you don’t trust what I am going to say,” he said softly.
“Then, what is it?” Hannah said, her eyes searching his face and eyes for answers.
He leaned away from her again. He grabbed her by the waist and drew her close to his side.
“Hannah, I have had sad news. A messenger from my mother arrived yesterday to tell me my grandfather has passed away. I did not want any sorrow to mar our wedding, but now it is up to me to guide my people. I have decided that it is time for me to return to Wisconsin,” he said. “I must now lead my people to this land. I know that no land is perfect, nor are the white people who will be our neighbors. But this is the best I can do for them. It is time for them to be with me, as one heartbeat.”
“I wish to go with you.” Hannah said, relieved to know that this might have been what had troubled him during their marriage ceremony. Surely this, his concern for his grandfather and people, as a whole, was what had caused him to occasionally get that haunted look in his eyes at other times.
Oh, if only it were so! Too often she had feared some dark secret that he was keeping from her!
Sometimes she had even thought that the haunted look was because he had doubts of marrying her!
But now?
Perhaps it had nothing at all to do with secrets, or . . . her.
“Hannah, the journey is long,” Strong Wolf said drawing her thoughts back to the present. “I don’t want to tire you. You have only recently been overwhelmed by exhaustion after caring for the ill.”
“How can you even think that I would not insist on accompanying you on such a long journey?” Hannah said, her eyes wide. “I would never stay behind. I am your wife. I belong with you.”
“But, Hannah . . .”
“Strong Wolf, if you had planned not to share everything with me, then why did you marry me?”
Hannah left the bed and stood over the fire, her pulse racing.
Strong Wolf was stunned by her outburst and knew now that he should have never kept anything from her. He now knew just how she might react when he told her the true facts about himself!
Yet now he knew to guard that secret even more than he ever had!
He could not chance losing her.
Strong Wolf left the bed and went to Hannah. He placed his hands at her waist and turned her around to face him. “Hannah, do you realize that we just had our first argument as man and wife?” he said softly, his eyes imploring her.
“I didn’t mean to argue,” Hannah said, her voice breaking.
She crept into his arms. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. “But I just feel so strongly about things, sometimes. I don’t want to be left out of any portion of your life. I want to share! Please allow it.”
He unbraided her hair until it lay silken and long down her naked back. “You will go with me,” he agreed. “And you must understand something about me, Hannah. I have never been married before. There will be times when . . .”
Hannah placed a gentle finger to his lips to seal his words behind them. “Shh,” she murmured. “We both have some adjusting to do. Loving each other so much, that shouldn’t be so hard to do.”
He smiled down at her, then swept her into his arms and carried her back to the bed.
They made love again and again.
Chapter 35
The air was heavy, the night was hot,
I sat by her side, and forgot—forgot!
—FRANK DESPREZ
Strong Wolf was now several days into his journey home, to Wisconsin. He had left what he hoped were enough warriors to care for the needs of his village in the Kansas Territory.
Camp was being made for the night. Strong Wolf had seen to it that his entourage to Wisconsin had filled their parfleche bags with food stores for the journey. They had brought dried turnips, thistle stalks, milkweed buds, choke-berry pemmican, and dried deer meat.
Strong Wolf watched some prepare their bedding while others built a large outdoor fire. The fire would ward off the chill of the night, as well as keep away any beasts who might come sniffing around their camp.
Strong Wolf’s eyes shifted. Proud Heart was making a comfortable pallet for his wife, Singing Wind.
Hawk and Doe Eyes were embracing down by the river, seemingly never to tire of one another.
No pangs of jealousy entered Strong Wolf’s heart over someone else holding Doe Eyes. Although Strong Wolf and Doe Eyes’s marriage had been planned since the day of their birth—since they had been born on the same day and at almost the same hour to women who were best friends—he would never forget the moment he realized that Doe Eyes was someone he could never love.
He would also never forget the humiliation he had felt when Doe Eyes had stared at him as though he was a de
mon, having witnessed him become someone she didn’t know. Yes, he was affiicted by an illness that his mother carried in her genes.
He was very grateful that it had happened only that one time to him. He hoped that with time, everyone who knew of his affliction then had forgotten.
But he lived with the knowledge that it could happen, at any given moment, at any given time. And so did Doe Eyes!
“Darling, what are you thinking about so intensely as you stare at Doe Eyes?” Hannah said as she came and stood before him, blocking his view of the beautiful woman.
“What . . . ?” Strong Wolf said, his eyes wide as he was drawn out of his dreaded reverie. “What did you say?”
Hannah looked over her shoulder at Doe Eyes, who was in Hawk’s arms, looking adoringly up at him as they talked.
Then Hannah gazed questionably again at Strong Wolf. “Please tell me I don’t have any reason to be jealous of that woman,” she pleaded.
When Strong Wolf swept his arms around Hannah and drew her against his hard body, his eyes warm and filled with love for her, she knew that question had been foolish.
Yet there was something bothering him. It entered his eyes every time he looked at Doe Eyes! Hannah so wished that he would confide in her about this.
Yet she was never going to be a nagging wife. She wanted to be everything sweet and good for her husband, not someone he dreaded to face every day.
“My woman, how could you ever think that I would look at Doe Eyes with a lusting, when I have you?” Strong Wolf said, brushing a soft kiss across her lips. “One day I shall open my heart to you and tell you why I detest that woman; not hunger for her.”
“I didn’t mean to pry,” Hannah said, laying her cheek against his muscled chest, then became even more aware of his pounding heart as she felt it against her cheek. It was like distant thunder as she listened to it, a heartbeat that was only caused by torment.
It did not seem the same sort of reaction as when he held her, or made love to her.
Yes, she knew now that something terribly wrong had happened between her husband and Doe Eyes. Would she ever know what? Something told her she . . . wouldn’t. It seemed too horrible a thing for him to confess to!
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