“That can’t be,” he said.
Jen rose from her nap and looked up at them. Did she sense the tension in the room?
The next bit came out in a heated rush. “When I was a little girl, I had a dream. God told me about you. I’ve been waiting for you. I knew the minute I met you that you were the one. I’ve been saving myself for you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw you in my dream when I was a little girl. You and Jen.”
Jen barked.
“That’s impossible.” He snapped his fingers at Jen. “Lie down.”
Jen’s ears flattened, but she did as he asked.
“Nico, don’t look at me like I’m delusional.” Sophie scooted nearer until she was inches from him. “I finally decided I better say something, or this might never happen.” She brushed his mouth with the back of her index finger. He closed his eyes when she moved her finger up the side of his smooth cheek. “Do you feel it? Like a spark?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
“Do you want this?”
He made a growling sound at the back of his throat. “More than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.”
Joy flooded her. He wanted her. “What’s stopping you?”
Another growl came from deep inside his chest. He pulled her to him, then captured her mouth in a long, hard kiss. He tasted of red wine, and his mouth was so warm. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, giving herself to him. Finally. This was it. The moment she’d been waiting for.
“Soph, you feel so good.” He pushed her onto her back and covered her body with his and kissed her again, this time almost frantically. She moaned softly when his hands moved to her bare legs.
But as suddenly as it had happened, it ended. With a sudden force, he broke apart from her and leaped to his feet. “I’m sorry. That should not have happened.”
Jen scrambled to her feet and scooted backward, away from them.
Sophie touched her fingers to her mouth, too stunned to talk. Why would he say that? The kiss had been so perfect. Just exactly as she thought it would be. “But it was good. Wasn’t it? I mean, I’m not the most experienced when it comes to kissing, but I liked it. A lot. Did I do something wrong?”
“No, no, it was spectacular. You’re spectacular.” He knelt on the floor next to the couch and dropped his head onto the cushion. “Kissing you was just like I knew it would be.” His voice sounded muffled against the upholstery, but she heard him just the same. He’d thought about kissing her before. That was a good sign, wasn’t it? What could possibly be wrong?
She sat up and pulled her skirt down, aware that her polka-dot bikini bottoms were showing, then splayed her fingers through his light brown hair, the texture so soft against her skin. “What’s the matter then?”
He looked up at her, pain in his eyes. “We’re not a good match.”
“What, no. That’s not right. It’s the opposite.
“You’re way too young for me.”
“I don’t understand. How does age have anything to do with us? Souls are ageless.”
He grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck with the palm of his hand. “I’m thirty-four. You’re twenty-two. That’s too much of a gap. We’re not even in the same generation.”
“It doesn’t matter. Those are just numbers.”
“Soph, I’m ready to get married and have children. You’re barely out of college.”
“I’m ready for those things too,” she said.
“You might think that, but trust me, no one knows anything when they’re in their early twenties. You’re going to change a ton in the next twelve years. I’m who I’m going to be.”
“I am too.” Why were people so hung up on ages? “I’ve done a lot for someone my age.”
He rose to his feet. “I have to get out of here before I do something we’ll both regret.”
“I wouldn’t regret it.” Tears sprang to her eyes. She’d never wanted anything more than for him to stay. “Please, don’t go.”
His face crumpled. “I want to, but I can’t do this to you. It’s wrong. You deserve someone your own age who doesn’t have all this baggage. Someone good and pure, like you.”
“I’m not that good. I’ve just been blessed more than most.”
“Sweetheart, you’re so innocent and I’ve been with…a lot of women.” He spoke slowly, drawing out each word. “I’m not what you want long term. Trust me.”
“It’s not like you’re the same age as my father,” she said.
He cringed. “No, thank God.”
“I’ve seen you leave the bar with tons of women. Some of them had to be as young as me.” She’d been seared with jealousy every time she saw him leave with some drunk stranger.
“They were just rebound girls. After Addison jilted me, I needed an ego boost.”
Sophie had convinced herself that each time he left with some strange girl it was simply to get it out of his system. Soon, she’d thought, he’d be ready to take their friendship to another level.
“I could be a rebound girl,” she said. Once he was with her, she knew he’d understand they were meant to be.
His eyes hardened as he spoke through clenched teeth. “You are not rebound material.”
“I don’t understand what’s happening here,” she said. “We’re soul mates. Can’t you see that?”
“There’s no such thing.” He closed his eyes as if her words pained his head. When he opened them, he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “There isn’t a man on earth who wouldn’t want you, but what I want and what’s right are two different things.”
“That’s not how men are. If you truly wanted me, nothing would stop you,” she said.
“That’s not true. Some of us are more than our base desires.” He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry I got carried away. It’s nearly impossible to resist you.” He cupped her chin and looked into her eyes. “You’re going to make some guy a lucky man someday, but it’s not me. We’re at different stages of our lives. If we were to act on these feelings—the physical attraction between us—you’d regret it at some point. You’d start resenting me for taking something that didn’t belong to me in the first place.”
He walked across the room to the door, then called to Jen, who trotted over obediently. With his hand on the knob, he turned back to her. “You’ll be fine, Soph. I promise, this is in your best interest.”
She clenched her jaw to keep from crying as he and Jen walked through the door. The moment it closed, she burst into tears.
Twelve years between them. What a joke. Math always ruined everything.
Sophie’s mother had often told her there was no shame in succumbing to a good cry. The way to work through sadness and disappointment was to acknowledge your feelings and cry if you needed to. When it came to matters of the heart, no one was more of an expert than Rhona Woods. No one but her mother would do during times like this. Sophie picked up the phone and called her.
The moment she said hello, Mom knew something was wrong.
“It didn’t go well with Nico?” Her mother’s voice was like honey, sweet and warm.
She told her the details of the humiliating evening. “And then he just walked out the door.”
“This poor boy is scared to death of you,” Mom said. “If anyone’s too young for the relationship, it’s him.”
“His heart was broken when his fiancée called off the wedding,” Sophie said.
“It would make him cautious.”
“What do I do?” Sophie asked.
“Leave him be for now. Let him miss you. If you’re right about what’s between you, he’ll come back once he’s ready.”
“I’m sad, Mom.”
“I know you are. It’s okay to be sad, because that means you’re living in your full truth. You know what you want and you’re not afraid to fight for it. When you live so authentically and in touch with your feelings, it opens your heart for injury. But y
ou wouldn’t want it any other way, would you?”
“No, I like the way I am.”
“That’s my girl,” Mom said. “Now hang on. Your dad wants to talk to you.”
She waited as they exchanged the phone. Her dad’s deep, authoritative voice came over the line. “How’s my baby girl?”
“Not great.” Her voice cracked and the tears came again. “I’m so in love with him, Daddy.”
“I know, honey. It’s your party and you can cry if you want to.” Like most things in life, her father punctuated the situation with song lyrics. “But you remember who you are. Sophie Grace Woods. You’re a miracle. It’s a privilege for that man to have you in his world. If he’s too stifled up to see it, then he’s not for you. Never settle for anything less. You hear me?”
“Yes, Daddy.” She smiled and dried her eyes.
“We’ll call you tomorrow,” he said.
After she hung up the phone, she ran a hot bath with a capful of jasmine bubble bath. On summer nights, the noise from the bar often carried upstairs. To escape into her own world, she placed her noise-canceling headphones over her ears, put on her favorite love songs playlist, and sank up to her neck into the water.
The kiss they’d shared seemed to hover on her lips. She’d felt a primal need in the way his mouth had moved against hers. He might think she was too young for him, but his body didn’t agree. She suspected his heart didn’t, either. If only he could get over this silly idea about age.
When the bath had cooled, she got out and put on her pajamas, then crawled into bed. On her bedside table, the notebook with letters from her biological father beckoned to her. When he died, the attorney had given Zane a letter from Hugh explaining about Sophie. He’d also left a journal for her. In it were letters he’d written to her over the years. Letters he could never send but had saved for her.
She flipped to the entry appropriate for tonight.
Dear Sophie,
Today I went into the city and parked outside your elementary school. I needed to see you come out of your kindergarten class. It’s hard to believe you’re already five years old. I’m ashamed I’ve had to follow your mom to figure out where your school is and familiarize myself with your schedule. I vowed when I gave you up for your own safety that I’d never interfere with your life. It’s been easier to remain committed to that decision because your adoptive parents are so obviously good to you. My heart hurts to not be able to raise you myself, but I’m happy you’re with the Woodses. Still, I’ll never be able to ever fully let you go. Which is why I waited outside your school today to catch a glimpse of you.
What a glimpse it was. Your hair was fixed in two ponytails on the sides of your head, and you wore this cute little pink dress that matched your cheeks. You look so much like Zane. That fact startles me every time. When I came home, I dug out some photographs of my mother when she was a child. You’re the spitting image of her. I’ll save them for you.
It occurred to me today as I watched a young couple breaking up in my bar that I should write to you with a little advice about love. I’m afraid no one gets through life without at least one broken heart. Rejection hurts. But remember, if a man doesn’t want you, it just means he’s not the one God made for you.
Here’s how to tell if he’s the right one. It’s very simple, actually. He’ll sacrifice whatever it takes to be with you. Don’t be satisfied until he proves to you that he would give his life for you. For your mother, I would have given my own life so that she might live. Make sure he’ll do the same for you. Hopefully he won’t have to. Or, like me, be unable to. More about that some other time.
My point is to wait for the one who will chase you into the depths of hell if need be.
She closed the book and held it to her chest. What about Nico? Would he risk everything to be with her? From the data so far, she would have to say no. He wouldn’t run into hell or anywhere else to be with her. In fact, he ran away from her. She’d believed they were soul mates. For the first time, the possibility that she was misreading the messages of the universe presented itself. Was she wrong about their connection? Maybe he wasn’t the right one even though she ached for him. Was it just her mind playing tricks on her? Interpreting a dream in the wrong way?
She was Sophie Grace Woods of Micky and Rhona Woods and Hugh Shaw and Mae Keene. Two guardian angels watched over her from heaven and two were here on earth. Their messages seemed loud and clear tonight. If she were to go by his actions, Nico was not the one.
She set aside the journal and pulled the covers up to her neck to stare at the ceiling. A thump from the bass downstairs beat as though the building had a heart. Her mother had taught her that not everyone or everything was as it seemed on the surface. Tomorrow was another day. She would simply have faith that whatever was meant to be would happen. Faith and love went together, after all.
3
Nico
* * *
The next morning, after a restless night’s sleep, Nico woke to find Jen’s fluffy black-and-white head on the pillow next to him. She smiled sympathetically.
“Did I wake you?” he asked.
Jen blinked, ruffling her bangs.
Sophie’s revelation last night had taken him completely off guard. He thought she liked him, but not that much. For the life of him, he couldn’t think why she would. However, all that talk about soul mates had scared him. Was she serious about her dream? Knowing Sophie, she probably was. That didn’t make it true.
Over the last few months, she’d kept asking him to do things with her: dinner, movies, wine tasting, surfing. He’d said yes every time but had been sure never to cross the line from friendship to anything physical. He’d never touched her until last night.
He’d known it all along. Once he felt her in his arms, he’d want it over and over again. There was no denying it to himself. He was in love with her.
“She’s the strangest woman I’ve ever met.” He rolled over to his back and watched the ceiling fan make a slow circle. “I can’t believe I let myself kiss her. You should’ve stopped me.”
Jen whined and inched closer to rest her chin on his shoulder.
“I couldn’t help myself. I know, I should be ashamed. I am ashamed. I mean, you probably have more experience in the love department than she does.”
Jen sighed in sympathy.
“What am I going to do? How can I stay away from her? I thought getting over Addie was hard, but this is torture. You get that it’s wrong for me to love her even though I do, right?”
Another whine, this time with even more empathy.
“After what Addie did, I never thought I’d love someone else. You know, it was just supposed to be me and a bunch of one-night stands from here on out. But then there she was, with that big smile and her kind heart. She’s the best person I’ve ever met. I mean, who has a baby for their brother when they’re only twenty years old?”
Jen barked.
“I agree. She’s totally special. Remember how she found you for me? Meant to be, right, girl?”
Jen licked his cheek.
Dogs made everything better. Even broken hearts. She always knew when he was suffering. She didn’t care that he was always messing everything up and that no woman could ever truly love him. Dogs loved unconditionally.
“That’s what I mean, though. She’s so sweet, and it’s like she knows exactly what I need before I do. No one in my whole life’s ever been like that. My family dislikes me so much. I know, I’ve told you this before.”
Jen growled. She understood what jerks his parents were. Not that she’d met them. They didn’t deem him important enough for a visit. Plus, he was living in a bungalow on someone else’s property, thus proving that they were right. He was a loser.
He’d been expected to go to law school and join his father’s firm like his brother. They’d made sure he knew there were no second chances if his “gardening” thing didn’t work out.
The conversation had gone as expected. They’
d been in the formal dining room of his childhood home.
“I want to be a landscape architect. I’m switching my major to botany and then getting a master’s in landscape design.”
Dad hadn’t spoken and walked out of the room, his handmade leather shoes squeaking on the over-polished floor. Mom went all hysterical, calling him selfish and completely without moral character. By the time he returned to the dorm, they’d cleaned out his bank account. He’d had to take out loans for undergraduate and for his master’s in landscape design. But it was all worth it. He loved his profession. Now that Wolf Enterprises was taking off, he’d paid off all his debt and was actually putting money away. Thanks in part to Mrs. Coventry’s generous offer. Someday, he hoped to have a home of his own, but for now this was ideal.
“Am I a terrible man?” he asked Jen.
She didn’t answer.
“Great. Maybe my mom’s been right all along.”
From the time he was a little boy prone to physical activity that included throwing balls and ramming play trucks into furniture, his mother repeatedly told him, “You are a bad boy.” Or versions thereof: naughty, treacherous, lazy, manipulative.
“I mean, who kisses a girl when he knows it’s wrong to lead her on?”
Jen rose to her feet and stood there looking down on him.
“You’re right. I’m despicable.”
He was a selfish, uncaring, and insensitive lout. Sophie, on the other hand, was as near to perfect as the sun itself, all golden and bright and warming. The most frozen terrain of any man’s heart would melt under her smile. She needed better, younger, smarter than him. Once she figured that out, she’d leave him just as Addie had.
Dammit all. He wanted Sophie more than he’d ever wanted a woman. Even Addison. Which was why he was absolutely convinced he must stay away.
Last night, he should never have suggested they open the Syrah. They’d already had a glass of her favorite French Chablis while they prepared dinner together. Well, she prepared dinner while he savored the crisp white wine and watched the stunning woman move around her kitchen as graceful and athletic as a tiger. There was nothing the woman couldn’t do. She surfed as well as him or Trey. Melt-in-his-mouth dishes seemed to magically appear from her fingers. Behind the bar, she multitasked while charming each and every customer with her quick wit and pretty smile.
Jilted Page 3