“That’s right. He thinks it’s sucking the life out of me and that I work too hard for a business that brings in too little cash. Like Hugh did all his life.”
Maggie frowned. “That place meant everything to him and Hugh.”
“Honor thinks he’s in shock and that it’s bringing his grief about Hugh back full force.”
“Poor Zane. Losing Hugh was so hard for him.” Maggie touched her hand. “What about you? Do you want the place to reopen? Or do you have another dream?”
“No, The Oar is my dream.” She scrunched her shoulders together as a wave of sadness swept over her. Her eyes stung with the effort not to cry. No, she’d cried enough. “All I want is to have it back to the way it was at this time yesterday.”
“Then we’ll get it back for you.” Her sister’s sympathetic face was enough to bring the unwanted tears to her eyes.
“If we do, Zane wants out.”
“I can’t believe it,” Maggie said. “He’s spent his life in that place.”
“Maybe that’s the problem.”
“If he wants out, then you’ll just carry on without him,” Maggie said. “Do you need money?”
“No, I’m fine. I have a lot in savings. My expenses are low.”
“Because you do nothing but work all the time.”
“I guess,” she mumbled, thinking how often she’d heard that lately. Was it that obvious she had no life outside of The Oar? “But what about our employees? What are they supposed to do?”
“Maybe Zane can use them at the brewery? Or Kyle? You know he’d do anything for you guys. Give him a call. His manager at the lodge will find places for them for a few months.”
“That’s a good idea.”
Maggie narrowed her eyes, as if studying Sophie for signs of stress. “Can I ask you something?”
Sophie nodded.
“Since you had Sebastian, you’ve been putting in really long hours at The Oar and down at the wine room.”
“That’s not a question,” Sophie said, smiling.
“I’m wondering if it’s been a way to distract yourself from your feelings about the baby. I know you had a rough time after he was born.”
“It has nothing to do with that. I like working. The bar makes me feel part of something.”
“You’re sure Zane isn’t right? Maybe the bar is too much responsibility for you?”
Sophie tilted her head. “No, absolutely not. I’m at my best there. I don’t get why everyone’s stuck on the number. I’m a person, not an age.”
“By everyone, do you mean Nico?”
“Yeah.”
Anger sparked in Maggie’s eyes. It was like watching a green lake with exploding fireworks above it, reflecting off the glassy surface. “If that man’s too stupid to admit his feelings to the woman he risked his life for, then you need to walk away.”
Sophie hesitated before asking the question. “Do you believe in soul mates?”
Maggie looked upward. “You know I do.”
“Do you think they ever miss each other somehow?”
Maggie picked up her guitar and strummed a chord. “No. It may take a while for them to find their way to each other—or like Jackson and me, back to each other. But eventually they will.”
Eventually. How long was eventually for her and Nico?
13
Nico
* * *
Two hours after he practically had sex with Sophie in a public parking lot, Nico sat in Autumn and Trey’s living room. Their cottage was feet from the boardwalk and sandy beach. The door to the patio was open, letting in the comforting sound of waves crashing to shore and an occasional seagull’s cry.
Trey handed him a glass of iced tea, then took the chair across from him. “So, let me get this straight. You acted like a jealous idiot and then you kissed her?”
“That’s about right, yeah.” He stared into his drink, watching the ice become porous. Like his heart. Full of holes.
“Is the age difference really that big a deal?”
He looked up to find Trey watching him intently, as if he were a wounded animal in need of help. “She was in high school like four years ago.”
“Dude, she is twenty-two with a college degree, runs two businesses, and was a surrogate. I think that qualifies as a fully mature adult. Plus, women are much more mature than we are.”
“I was a complete dumb ass at that age. We both were.”
Trey’s mouth curved into a wry smile. “We really were. When I think of the stupid stuff we did, I’m surprised we’re alive.”
“By the grace of God,” Nico said.
“Just because we were, doesn’t mean Sophie is,” Trey said. “She has it together.”
“Maybe. But how can I be sure? What if there’s something I’m not seeing?”
“Like with Addie?” Trey asked.
“Yes. I didn’t see that coming.” He hadn’t seen a lot of things in his life.
“Regardless of your fears, you’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
Nico glanced up at his friend, then shook the ice around in his glass. Everything in him wanted to deny the truth. Even to Trey, who was like his brother. Most of all, he wanted to lie to himself. He loved Sophie Woods. His feelings were not just lust, although God help him, he wanted to drag her into his bed and touch every inch of her with every inch of him. Still, it was more than that. He loved being with her. She made him remember the possibilities of everything and notice all the simple, magnificent things the world had to offer. But what was she hiding? What was the thing he didn’t yet know that would cause her to leave?
“You can talk to me,” Trey said. “About anything.”
This was Trey. He was the brother he’d wished his real brother had been.
“The truth is, I’ve never wanted a woman more in my life. Even Addie, who I loved so much, was nothing compared to this thing I have about Sophie. But what happens when Sophie grows up a little and realizes this is just a schoolgirl crush? If she left me, I don’t know if I could handle it.”
“If it wasn’t for the age difference, would you be less afraid of Sophie changing her mind?”
He thought about that for a moment. His mind drifted to Addie. He’d been in such denial. “When she told me she was in love with her best girlfriend, I thought she was kidding around. That’s how unbelievable it was to me. If I didn’t see that, which in hindsight was about as obvious as my own hand in front of my face, how can I trust myself?” He put his wet glass on a coaster and ran his hands through his hair.
“Man, I get it about being blindsided,” Trey said. “I was devastated when I learned about my wife’s infidelity. However, Autumn is not like my ex-wife. Just because Addie had a secret doesn’t mean Sophie will. From what I can see, she’s about as authentic a woman as I’ve ever met. And dude, she adores you.”
“Look at her, though. Do really think she’s going to want me long term? She’s going to see how all her friends are still out there partying and having fun, and I’m going to seem like a boring old fart.”
Trey got up from the couch and wandered over to the window that faced the sea. Since he and Autumn had gotten engaged, Trey was like a new person. The cloud that had followed him around after his divorce seemed to have never been there at all. He looked ten years younger than he had a year ago.
“Do you know how Autumn thought she wasn’t pretty enough for me?” Trey asked.
“Sure. Which was crazy. It’s the other way around,” Nico said.
Trey grinned. “Exactly. How she could think I’m even in her league is the true mystery. My point, however, is that she put those limitations up. She believed in this falsehood, which made her incapable of seeing how much I loved her and also doomed us before we even got started.”
“Which is what you think I’m doing.”
“I do.” Trey wandered back to the couch. “You’ll never know the depth of her love if you can’t take the risk.”
“I know that’s true. I’
m not sure I have it in me.”
“Would you rather sit back and watch her fall in love with someone else? What if she comes back from the wedding in France with some guy on her arm?”
His stomach turned at the thought. “That would wreck me.”
Trey squinted, watching him. “There’s something else, isn’t there? Something you haven’t told me. Something that shook you beyond just Addie.”
“There is.” He placed his hands on his knees. “It’s about my family. They’re not who I thought they were. But I can’t talk about it. Not yet. Not even with you.”
“Whatever it is has shaken your faith, hasn’t it?”
“To the core.”
“When you’re ready, I’m here.”
14
Sophie
* * *
When she returned to Judi Coventry’s house, Nico’s car was parked in its usual spot. Sophie gathered her purchases and headed for the main house. Unsure as to whether to just walk in or not, she rang the doorbell. Seconds later, Judi appeared wearing a dark blue maxi dress and pearls.
“Thank goodness it’s you, dear. I thought a salesperson had wandered up the hill trying to sell me a vacuum.” Sophie sighed with pleasure at the sight of her. She was so glamorous with her slender frame and silver pageboy bob. Sophie could imagine her sitting with Jackie Kennedy having tea at the Biltmore or some such place.
Sophie glanced down at her shorts and tank top, feeling underdressed and sloppy all at once. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, and she hadn’t had a chance to put on any of the makeup she’d bought earlier. Somehow, it hadn’t even occurred to her.
“I don’t think people sell vacuums door-to-door any longer,” Sophie said.
“Do come in. There’s no need to knock. Consider this your home for the time being.” She held out her arms. “Give me a few of those bags. I’ll show you to your room, and then we’ll come back here and have manhattans before dinner.”
She trailed Judi into the house and down a hallway to the guest room. Decorated in the same sparse, clean lines as the rest of the house, the room had its own bathroom and a king-size bed.
“Will this do?” Judi asked.
“Absolutely. I can’t thank you enough.”
“I’ll let you get settled. Take a shower if you’d like before dinner. Nico said he’d be over in a few minutes.”
Her stomach turned over, thinking of their interaction that afternoon.
Judi inspected her with those sharp eyes. “What is it?”
“We kissed this afternoon when he took me to my car. It was so hot. Then he tore himself away and said how wrong this was and all the usual stuff and walked away.”
Judi played with her pearls around her neck. “He really is a dense one. But not to worry. You played it exactly right. I’m so proud of you.”
“You were right about my instincts. It’s like my body knew what to do.”
“Yes, they always do.” She walked over to the closet. “I had some things sent over from Le Chic in your size.”
Sophie blinked. “Le Chic? The superexpensive shop up in Stoweaway?”
“That’s right. We’re taking it up a notch.”
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” She looked down at her khaki shorts and tank top.
“Nothing, dear. You’re adorable, but we need to shake him up a bit.” Judi opened the closet. A half dozen dresses were neatly hung in a row. She chose a dark blue in a sparkly material with a scoop neck, and a classic black cocktail, then held them up for Sophie to see. “Which do you like better?”
Sophie stepped closer and fingered the material. The blue was a polyester blend that would cling to every curve. The other had an A-line skirt and fitted bodice with a boatneck collar. “I think the blue one would be best.”
“Wonderful. I left you some perfume samples and jewelry in the bathroom. Choose whatever you like. And maybe put your hair up. Show off that young, elegant neck of yours.”
“Um, okay.”
“Don’t hurry, but don’t dawdle either. We’ve work to do.”
Judi stopped at the door. “I also took the liberty of ordering you a bikini. Just in case you two want to enjoy the hot tub later.”
Before she could answer, Judi was out the door, leaving Sophie standing there with her mouth hanging open. Judi Coventry had game.
“This is a beautiful manhattan,” Mrs. Coventry said as she held her tumbler up to the light. “My husband used to make them for us every evening before dinner. I haven’t had a decent one since. Nico may make my flowers flourish, but he cannot make a cocktail to save his life. Or mine.”
“Zane taught me how to make them, even though they’re hardly ever ordered at the bar.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. Her bar. Charcoal. Smoldering wood.
“You look stunning,” Judi said. “He won’t be able to take his eyes off you.”
“Thank you.” Sophie spun in a circle. “I feel like a movie star.”
“Let’s sit, shall we?” She arranged herself on one end of the couch. One slender leg crossed over the other, she sipped from her glass before setting it on one of the coasters from the coffee table.
Sophie plopped more than arranged her undainty self into the club chair adjacent to the couch. She caught a whiff of the tiger lily bouquet on the glass coffee table. Outside the picture windows, the sun hung low in the sky and colored the world in a gold slipcover. Cottonwood fluff danced in the rays like summer’s snow. Nico had complained earlier about how the copious fuzz dirtied the pool and made him sneeze. Sophie thought it looked like fairies made of gossamer strands of silk.
“That’s how we used to do it, Paul and me,” Mrs. Coventry said. “Cocktails and expensive roasted almonds at five. He always sat in the big chair there by the fireplace and I’d take the couch here and he’d tell me about his day, and I’d tell him about mine. Very civilized, mind you.” She looked toward the kitchen. “How I miss him.”
“I’m sorry. How long has he been gone?”
She glanced at the gold watch on her wrist. “Four years, two hundred and seven days.” Her gold bangles clattered as she lifted her hand to her face and touched a finger to the base of her throat. “He died in his sleep. Taking a nap, of all things. Doc Waller said his heart simply stopped. I don’t have any idea how that could be when he loved me with that same heart for forty-five years. It was such a large one, figuratively speaking. As was he. A man larger than life seemed incapable of dying. I always thought it would be me who went first. Can you imagine my shock?” The edges of her mouth curved slightly as she picked up her drink. “The nerve of him. He knew I hated surprises.”
Sophie imagined how it must have been to find him. Did she go to check on him, thinking his nap had gone on too long and found him dead? She shivered. “I’m so sorry,” she said again.
“Thank you, darling. I’d like to be one of those people who says and thinks in platitudes.” She raised the pitch of her voice and emphasized her Southern drawl. “I’m so grateful for our forty-five years together and that he went so easily and peacefully.” She uncrossed her legs, then smoothed the fabric of her linen pants. Her voice returned to its natural buttery timbre. “Instead, I think only of the exact numbers of years and days and hours and wish for more. I’ve always been selfish and never guilty over having more than my share.” She grinned as she fluffed her bangs. “Aren’t I dreadful?”
Judi was the type of woman who could say ugly things but make them sound as pretty as a wind instrument’s pure, low notes. Not that wishing for more time with the person you loved was wrong. “I think we all want more time. When we love someone as much as you loved your Paul.”
“I never thought I’d have such an epic love. I was awfully flippant and thought of myself as a femme fatale with no need for the love of a man. They were for sex, like a toy one put away at the end of the day. I aimed to pursue more serious, important goals. Then I met Paul and it was all over. I realized one could love a man and still have goa
ls and dreams of one’s own. God’s had a good laugh, hasn’t he?”
Sophie had never thought of men as toys. She’d certainly never considered sex without emotion or attachment. She filled with wonder and admiration for this strong, independent woman.
“Poor Nico found me when I was still in the throes of my loss. Nasty thing, grief. All-consuming and black as the darkest night of the year.”
“Does it get better?” Sophie asked.
“Yes, a little. Humans have a great capacity for acceptance of new circumstances. I still miss him, but it’s a duller pain than a year ago. I’ve stopped calling out to him, as if he’s in the other room, before remembering he’s gone. I suppose that means I’ve accepted it finally. Sometimes I wonder if that’s worse than grief. The moving on, I mean. As if it’s a betrayal somehow.”
Sophie’s eyes filled with tears at the poignancy of Judi’s words. How beautiful and tragic love was. “Not to sound like a banal platitude, but I think he’d want you to move on.”
She raised one perfectly plucked eyebrow and nodded her head in mock disgust. “He would. He was always the most generous husband. I, on the other hand, would haunt him if he’d had the audacity to move on without me. I’d want him wallowing in grief, bringing flowers to my grave every day.”
“You wouldn’t,” Sophie said, laughing.
“I absolutely would.” Judi picked up her glass and gestured at Sophie in a toast. “Nice people like you always assume others are equally as good. We’re not.” The ice made a pleasant clinking sound as she made circular motion with her glass. “It’s nice chatting like this.”
“Agreed,” Sophie said.
“I’ve noticed young people never sit unless they’re watching television or on one of those tablets. You’re all so very busy all the time. The art of conversation is going the way of the dinosaurs.”
Sophie smiled. “Except in a bar. The people at my counter talk a lot. To me. To each other. You wouldn’t believe the conversations I’ve overheard.”
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