by Sheila Kell
“He didn’t mention anything else?”
“No.” Her dad waved his hand to tell her to keep going.
“Okay, well, I think Poppy had something else to tell you. Or maybe he didn’t plan to do it.” She hadn’t heard Poppy’s answer to Grandma’s question, so maybe he wanted to keep it quiet. If that was the case, she’d—no, she’d done the right thing. In this family, family stood together.
She held both hands pointed out to ward off any argument from her dad. “Dad, don’t get upset about me listening in. I truly was waiting until I should knock. Here’s the thing—I heard Grandma asked Poppy a question.”
She halted as tears rimmed her eyes; she could no longer see the look of disapproval in her dad’s eyes. It was hard to take and even harder to tell. She had to rip off the Band-Aid, as her mom would say. “The question I heard her ask—and this is exact because I’ll never forget it.” A tear ran down her face, and Jason put his arm around her shoulder in support or comfort—it didn’t matter—he just did, and she loved him for that.
As a great big brother, he leaned down to her. “Come here.”
Through tears warming her face, she followed her brother to where her dad had sat in a chair. Her dad patted his thigh. “Sit.”
Without hesitation, she did, and warmth passed through her. The one only her dad could provide that made her remember the love between them, no matter how much she screwed up. She didn’t screw up this time. She just had a hard time saying the words.
“Are you okay, pumpkin?”
He sounded so concerned she didn’t say anything about him calling her pumpkin outside of their home. How could he not remember? He didn’t usually forget anything else.
Lifting her chin and turned her head in his direction, he kissed her forehead. “If I made you cry, I’m sorry.”
Since he still held her chin, she couldn’t really shake her head. “Not you, Dad.”
“Is this about your grandma or Poppy?”
She closed her eyes as tears leaked out again. There was no way to stop them. “Yes.”
“Is it bad?” Even with her blurred vision, she could see the worry lines on his face.
Leaning into him, she put her arms, as much as she could, around him. After a minute or two, or a hundred, she couldn’t tell the loss of time right now, she looked up and caught her dad do some strange movement with his head. Maybe he had a crick in it or something.
“You know you can tell me. You’re not in trouble for this.”
She sat back up and looked at her dad. “Every one of you needs to know.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell them for you.”
It seemed like a family thing to offer. While she’d turned the offers down before, this time she’d take it. She didn’t have it in her to say to the group. “Okay. I didn’t hear the answer, and I think that’s important but not as important as the question.”
“And it was?” he softly prodded her.
Thankfully, the tears stopped sliding down her cheeks. But her heart was about to slam out of her chest. She couldn’t have imagined how much worse it would’ve been if she’d told them all at once. “These are Grandma’s words to Poppy.” She gulped and wondered why she had a dry throat. “Why didn’t you tell them about the cancer?”
Her dad stiffened. “Are you sure that’s what you heard?”
She couldn’t speak, so she nodded.
From behind her, she heard some comments she shouldn’t repeat from her uncles. They must’ve slid beside them so she didn’t notice. It actually made her feel better about them all hearing the same story. Looking at each of them, she saw sorrow etched on each of their faces. It made her want to cry again. Turning back to her dad, she hugged him again to give him comfort.
Devon was the first to speak something besides curse words. “I want to go with you. I don’t care what Jacob said about moving.”
“You going to be able to stand for however long it takes but wait to medevac until tomorrow?” her dad asked him.
“Give me some support, and I can do it. Heck, I’ll crawl or whatever it takes to be there.”
Where exactly were they talking about? They hadn’t said a word about that. Then she realized that they meant Poppy’s room. She was going too, and since she doubted they’d allow it, she’d sneak behind them. She’d found out the information, and she wanted to know the answer to that question Grandma asked.
Dad rubbed her back and kissed her on the forehead again. “Get up. We’ve got places to go.”
Those words made her brighten. It sounded like he included her, but maybe he meant everyone else. She’d wait and see what he did.
It had already been tight in Uncle Devon’s room—even though it was supposed to be a bigger room—but the air almost suffocated her. As if in a daze, the men—except Uncle Devon—sat in a seat or slid down the wall to sit on the floor. Glancing around, she found Jason who waved her over. He also sat on the ground, so she pulled up beside him.
“You okay, squirt? That was a big announcement.” Reagan didn’t say anything about the sheen in his eyes.
First, she nodded. Then she shook her head. “I don’t know. Inside my body scares me.” She didn’t know how to explain it.
“Do you feel like you’ve caught a bug?”
She nodded.
“Does your stomach feel it’s doing flips?”
Once again, she nodded and was getting scared with what he might say was wrong with her.
“And feel like you’re shaking inside your limbs?”
In awe, she whispered, “How did you know?”
Jason took her hand in his and gave it a brotherly squeeze. “Sometimes that’s how you feel when someone you love is in trouble or sick.”
“Oh.” She didn’t like the feeling. She had to help keep everyone healthy and out of trouble now that she was old enough to feel like that.
“How should we approach him?” Uncle AJ asked.
Since the space was too small for her dad to pace with everyone there, he sat in one of two chairs in the room. “This is major. We need to discuss it, and all of us decide. The only thing I ask is that we continue to hash out our plan of action until all of us agree. None of this seven-to-one crap. We go as a united front.”
Brandon slipped to her other side. He must’ve been in the back of the room.
Uncle Jake spoke next. “Nine of us. Lee’s got a vested interest in the uncle he just met.” He added, “I’m going to get my wife. She needs to be here.”
No one argued, and thankfully, no one asked her to go and watch the babies. A twinge of guilt bit her belly. She stood. “I’ll go with you, Uncle Jake, in case they need me.”
He waved her off. “The kids are asleep so it’s fine. Besides, your dad wants you here.”
Relief whooshed through her as she slid back down the wall.
From the bed, Devon spoke, “I think Jason should be in this decision.”
Reagan’s mouth dropped open. This was major. He wasn’t one of her uncles and not even an adult yet.
“But—But,” he stumbled through, “I’m not one of your brothers, and I’m not old enough.”
See, she hadn’t been the only one to think those things.
“Dev’s right. This decision is not between just the brothers but the adults born in this family. And don’t try it. You are my son and a Hamilton. That’s what matters. And you’re almost eighteen, that makes you a man in our eyes.”
Uncle Jake and Aunt Em walked in the door. She looked somber but like she had it all together still.
“I think,” she said immediately, “we should inform the wives, but not bring them with us tonight. Besides, his room isn’t big enough. Did you include Lee and Jason?”
“Our baby sister doesn’t play,” Uncle Brad proudly proclaimed.
Before she turned away, Aunt Em rolled her eyes at him. Reagan almost giggled but stopped, realizing it wasn’t the right time. That’d been hard to do. Her mom would be proud of her.
/> “My suggestion,” Uncle Trent said while everyone looked at him, “is we have one person leading everything, and the rest of us try to keep our mouths shut. I know it won’t be easy, but put duct tape over your mouth if you can’t.”
Ouch, a Band-Aid sometimes hurt when it was pulled off. Reagan could even imagine that kind of tape.
He continued, “And I think it should be Em.”
Shocked, Reagan replayed his words in her mind. Why not her dad? He always led the group. Not that he had to, but they just went from the oldest to the youngest sibling.
“I agree,” Uncle Devon confirmed.
Over the next minute, they all agreed—including her dad. Very curious. Were they scared to talk to him and pushed it off on her aunt? That seemed childish to her. She’d never thought they’d be that way. It wasn’t fair to Aunt Em.
“Why me?” Aunt Em looked at Uncle Trent first.
“Well, you’re the youngest—his baby girl—so he’s got a soft spot for you. You’re able to keep your emotions and temper in check better than any of us.” Uncle Trent looked at Cousin Lee. “I don’t know if you can, but”—he turned back to his sister—“you calm him when you speak to him. I’ve seen it. It’s nothing like any of us. This is the perfect time for you to take the lead in this family.”
Reagan could barely wait to see if she would do it. Those things Uncle Trent had said, she realized, were true. She’d never paid attention, but Reagan remembered a little before Uncle Trent left and she thought the two were really good friends.
Aunt Em looked around the room, and her eyes latched on her and Brandon. She wasn’t sure if she should say something to make sure they got to go.
“They’re going,” her dad said. Whew. Always to her rescue, and she loved it.
“All right. You two stay in the back and be quiet, or you’ll be told to leave.” She turned back around before Reagan blew out a breath. She’d already expected that punishment if she got in the way. “Lee, Jason, you’re part of this group so don’t hide in the back.”
Jason nodded and looking at him, Reagan thought he seemed more mature or something like that. She was proud of him, even though she hadn’t thought he should be invited. But that was before her dad made such a great case as to why he should.
“Operation Wake Santa has commenced,” Aunt Em said before she led them to the door.
HOLDING ELIZABETH AS she drifted off to sleep, Blake knew she was right. He had to pull his family together tomorrow and tell them the truth. The fact he didn’t drop that bomb on them when he’d found out about the cancer would probably be the biggest mistake because they’d feel the hurt from him not trusting them. He trusted them, though, but that’d be how he thought they’d feel.
“I can hear you thinking. Go to sleep. You can’t change anything tonight.”
He grunted. She was right. As usual. “I wonder how long we’ll be snowed in. Ronald wasn’t sure since this hasn’t happened—at this deep level—in a long time. Since before he worked here. The last manager had talked about it, but no one remembers exactly how long he’d said it’d take before someone came in to clear them a path. I wonder if a medevac can get in here.” They’d figure it out tomorrow. He needed to learn the resources available to the lodge. The family could call upon for favors, but the lodge needed to be appropriately equipped and prepared, as he or his family might not be here the next time it occurred.
Her body movement told him she wanted to laugh. “You can’t do anything about the snow tonight. Relax and rest. If you don’t, you can go find someplace else to sleep because you’re not keeping me awake.”
Their room boasted a king-sized bed. Most rooms had a queen bed and a double, which he’d had designed specifically for his family’s needs. They’d also been working well for guests. Elizabeth wouldn’t kick him from the room, not for thinking anyway. He could see it if he was singing or something else rather noisy. Immediately, that idea gave him pause for thought, and the lower half of his body responded, imagining how’d he’d be happy to hear certain noises coming from his wife.
“What do you think about having a family Christmas here every year instead of getting together for Thanksgiving?”
She rolled over on her back, but before she could answer, he slid his lips over hers for a slow minute. “I like the idea,” she said a little breathily, “but not if they’re all this eventful.”
With that topic muted in his mind, he slid her nightgown down, baring one shoulder, and grinned. If she spoke now, Elizabeth was talking to the room because his focus was on her slender neck. One kiss after another led his path from her earlobe to the crook in her shoulder that led to her breast. With her shudder filling him with the need for more, he moved his hand to slide her nightgown down, displaying a luscious breast.
At the knock on the door, he dropped his head and groaned. “Ronald never sleeps. I’ll have to post a sleeping schedule for him.”
Elizabeth stood, adjusted her clothing—covering up what he’d yet to love tonight—and wrapped a fluffy white robe around her. Perfect for this weather and since they didn’t have heat.
“I’ll get it,” she told him.
He shifted from the bed. “No, I’ll get it.”
She raised a questioning brow then looked down his torso. His eyes followed and he understood. With a grunt, he agreed with her wordless observation. “I’ll just put on some jeans while you answer the door.”
With a light chuckle, she sashayed to the door, making him groan with need. The woman could be a tease when she wanted. Pushing himself, quite painfully, into his pants, he heard her say, “Oh,” when she greeted their guest.
Adding a much-worn Ole Miss sweatshirt his twins had bought him from their college days, he rounded to the door, expecting Ronald. “Oh,” was his mirrored response. Taking in his children’s various looks of despair, anger, and hopelessness, his gut clenched. He could only assume they’d somehow learned the truth. Damn him for not telling them first. For being a chicken when he’d taught his kids always to pony up.
“Come on in, what’s going on?” he asked, avoiding the obvious topic.
Elizabeth slipped out the door behind them. The family’s focus remained on him, so Blake doubted they saw her leave. Having her by his side would’ve been preferable, but he had to make do.
Within moments, the family filled every space. Thank goodness his room was more of a suite. “Devon, get on the bed so you can be comfortable because I know you can’t sit and it seems like you’ll be standing for a long time.”
When his son shook his head, he knew they’d united. He also wondered why Jesse was in the back with the kids—Jason, Brandon, and Reagan. But, he was proud that his sons and daughter included them, but he didn’t want to have this conversation in front of them either. That made him want to swipe his face to clear and calm himself, but that’d look bad.
Emily surprised him by standing forward. They’d let their baby sister speak for the group. That almost made his eyes water. He’d always worried she’d get lost in the mix of her big brothers, but this showed their trust and respect for her. It flushed more love and pride for his kids.
“Is it true?” she asked softly.
With a heavy sigh, he dropped onto the bed in the space he’d offered Devon. “You heard?”
“Is it?” she repeated.
“Have I had cancer? Yes.”
Her eagle eye showed she’d caught his wording. “And now?”
“No,” he stated firmly. It felt like a collective sigh slipped through the room, relaxing as it went through the air.
“Let’s back up. What type of cancer and when did you find out?”
“Laryngeal Cancer. Supraglottis more specifically.”
The room seemed to have lost all the air as the family appeared to hold their breath at once.
“What does that mean?” Emily continued to lead.
Shaking slightly, Blake hoped to help them believe he was doing well. He almost dropped his head trying
to rein in the strength to continue. It wasn’t just for the family, but he didn’t wish to remember the time he thought he might die. Not after all he’d been through to get here today. It nearly ripped his chest open having this conversation, but the fact he could have the conversation meant a great deal to him. He knew that one day he’d leave this earth and no longer be here with all he held dear, but now hadn’t been that time. Nor had his mild heart attack.
“It was phase one, which is the lowest stage of cancer. And it’s the upper part of the larynx, above the vocal cords.”
Just like the sigh, a stiffening of backbones almost cracked aloud when he stretched tall and stood, but unlike the sigh, the sounds didn’t bring relaxation.
Emily turned to Jason, and he looked stunned his aunt called on him, and Blake knew why. Stepping forward, Jason glanced at Jesse who gave him a nod; then his grandson stood by Emily.
“You said you don’t have it now. Did they do surgery or chemo?” Jason asked.
“Yes, both,” a new voice from the doorway said. Heads whipped around. Damn, they hadn’t noticed him enter either. That meant all his family’s focus and energy was for him. He had a great family.
Jacob continued into the room and moved next to him with Elizabeth. When she neared him, Blake clasped her hand and kissed her lips lightly. “Thank you.”
Refocusing on his family, Blake said, “Dr. Manner is my doctor. He and his wife came here for one purpose.” He half laughed. “Maybe more than one. I believe skiing had something to do with his choice. As for why I invited him, it was for this purpose. I knew you’d have a lot of questions, and I wouldn’t know all the answers.” He grimaced and turned to Jacob. “I’m sorry we got you out of bed this late.”
Jacob shook his head. “When I heard the rushing of a lot of bodies headed to your room, I guessed it was time, so I dressed and waited for my summons.”
Blake had hoped that was where Elizabeth had headed instead of one of the wives’ rooms. She always anticipated his needs. He hoped she felt the same for him.