by Laurie Roma
Though, she wasn’t the only one who had changed positions.
Hicks transferred to a new post at headquarters in preparation for when they started their family, saying he’d wanted the change. However, Roman knew the truth. Hicks had taken the desk job because it had steadier hours, and he would be there for Lisa when Roman was out on missions. She would only have to worry about one of them, and in turn, Roman wouldn’t have to worry about her.
Confronting him, Roman asked him to come back to the team, but his friend had been steadfast in his decision. Even though they had made commander of a Strike Force Team, Hicks had admitted that it would be easier for Roman to move up in the ranks alone since he wouldn’t be penalized for Hicks’ infractions and mouthing off.
Roman denied that as an issue, but he was proved wrong when he was offered the position of the commander over all of the Strike Force Teams in Jade City a few weeks after Hicks transferred. It was a major step up, and he hadn’t thought it would come so soon, but his sister-in-law becoming Commander of Jade City might’ve had something to do with it.
A few months after receiving the promotion, Roman won the Baxxtora Tournament for the fourth year in a row. The three of them had been blissfully happy, and he thought he finally had everything he wanted.
But the future they had planned together wasn’t meant to be.
Once again, the dream shifted.
“Happy New Year!” people shouted on the main level of New Vega. Hundreds of people filled the lobby, atrium, and shopping pavilion, all of them celebrating.
Roman fought his way through the crowd, laughing as he was hugged by friends and strangers alike. He left the party behind and bypassed the lifts, taking the stairs two at a time to the second level of suites on New Vega. He got through the biometric security quickly since he was already in the system, then hurried down the hallway, excitement and anticipation lending swiftness to his feet.
The soundproofing was excellent, though, it would have been quiet on that level anyway. Most of the people on board were downstairs celebrating, while those who’d chosen to abstain from the festivities would stay hidden away until morning. Still, muffled booms and bangs could be heard, and the floor beneath his feet vibrated and shook as the gravity and flux stabilizers worked hard to do their jobs.
It sounded as though New Vega was under attack.
Unconcerned by the noise, he made his way to the observation deck, a stark room made of nothing but glass and gray metal. It was empty, which suited his purposes, and he began pacing like a caged tiger, too excited to remain still. The inky black of space was disturbed by a wide array of explosions of light signaling the culmination of the night’s celebration. He stared out at the show playing out beyond the thick glass, however, he couldn’t appreciate the spectacle when he just wanted it over and done with.
During high traffic times, there were several shuttles coming to or leaving New Vega, but all transports were put on hold until the light show had ended. Fortunately, he’d missed most of the show while he’d been on the lower level. He tried to search past the lights for a sign of the vessels waiting in the distance for the one he was waiting for, but it was impossible to see with the constant flashes.
His family was late. Hours late due to the responsibilities that had kept them in Jade City. He understood duty, so he wasn’t angry, but he was eager to see them. Just as eager as they had been to spend New Year’s Eve with him on New Vega.
He’d heard the disappointment in Hick’s voice when they had contacted earlier, and even worse, he had seen the tears of distress clouding Lisa’s eyes. It wasn’t her fault that the surgery she’d been performing before they’d left Earth had taken longer than expected. Roman’s sister-in-law also had a situation that she’d needed to handle before they left Jade City, but his brother had assured him they would be arriving soon.
When the light show ended, he had to blink his eyes several times to adjust. He hadn’t engaged the overhead lights in the room when he’d entered, but the mix of gases left behind by the explosions was enough to illuminate the room. Moving through the gas clouds were a handful of small shuttles, and he grinned when he saw the one his brother had painted a ridiculous metallic yellow on a dare a few months ago.
Roman’s smile faded as he slowed to a stop and a sense of dread churned in his stomach. Something wasn’t right. His head began to pound, and suddenly, it was as if two images were superimposing over one another. He blinked to try to clear his vision, but the room seemed to dissolve and change in front of his eyes.
Instead of waiting on the stark, empty observation deck as he had done in the past, he was suddenly in the memorial his friend had thoughtfully crafted in honor of his family. The family who had lost their lives right in front of his eyes, when he had been powerless to help them.
He waited for the pain and grief to come, but the moment a feminine hand slipped into his, a sense of peace washed through him. It was like being cleansed from the inside out. He wasn’t sure he deserved it, but he welcomed it as he welcomed her touch.
Through the glass, he couldn’t see their reflections, so he turned to face her. His simple clothing changed to a soft, silky tunic and matching black pants in a style he hadn’t even known he favored. Dressed in a long gown of sparkling bronze that matched her skin, two scraps of fabric covered her breasts and connected at the nape of her neck while her back was left completely bare.
Amari was pure magic and beauty, and she was all his, but his attention was torn at the moment. The mix of his past and his future collided, and it left him feeling confused.
“Did you see? Are you really here with me?”
She nodded. “Somehow we are in your dream together. Humans dream very differently than my race. I was beginning to get a little dizzy along the way.”
“How is this even possible?”
“The only explanation I could come up with is that you accidentally bit my lip, not enough to complete the mating. Not even enough to form a blood bond, yet, here we are.” Puzzlement made her brow furrow. “I feel and sense you, but I know we are not awake. This is unusual, even for me.”
Well, if she was confused, then he had no hope of understanding. He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. “You stopped me from seeing it again.”
She wound her own arms around his waist and hesitated several beats before saying, “You are torturing yourself.”
“I can’t choose what I dream about.”
“But you can choose to blame yourself for something beyond your control.”
“It’s my fault they died,” Roman admitted softly. “I should’ve just told them to stay home instead of telling them it was going to be the last time I entered the tournament. They felt as though they had to come watch me fight.”
He looked back at the window and saw the accident as if it were playing out in front of him. Standing by his side, Amari held onto his hand and watched, though, she already knew what was going to happen. She’d seen the memories in his mind as clearly as if she had been there with him, so she knew it had only taken a few seconds for him to lose his entire family.
In the past, Roman had watched in shock as the front of the shuttle exploded. He blinked, his mind in complete disbelief at what he was seeing. Then, seconds later, three escape pods were launched from the back of the vessel. What the fuck had just happened to the shuttle? And why were there only three escape pods?
Before he could move, the rest of the shuttle exploded, the shockwave pushing the pods into one of the gas clouds. He slammed his fists into the glass, as if he could somehow reach them. The first sob tore from his throat just as the gas cloud ignited, the impact of the explosion rocking New Vega like a small boat in a storm at sea.
Roman was thrown off his feet, and his head slammed against a nearby table. He didn’t feel the blood pouring down his temple while he watched helplessly as two of the pods were swallowed up by the inferno. Only one pod was pushed clear of the blast, with only one survivor
.
“I tried so hard to tell myself that it didn’t matter who had survived. That I would be happy with whatever the outcome was, but that was a lie. I ran from that room and made it down to the docking bay before I knew I was even headed there. I don’t know if I had planned to steal a shuttle or launch myself out of an airlock, but I wanted to get to that pod. I needed to see who was in it.”
Amari cleared the vision, so nothing could be seen beyond the glass of the observation deck. “You wanted it to be Lisa.”
He winced at her statement. “Yeah, I wanted it to be her,” he admitted. “I wanted it to be her...and our baby.”
“Roman, I am sorry for your loss. For all of them.”
She saw that he’d been wild with grief as he had run into the docking bay of New Vega. It had taken two of the Adaro brothers and three of their security officers to hold him, to stop him from trying to go after the pod. New Vega staff had moved quickly, sending teams to help recover the pod and whatever wreckage they could.
The three Adaro brothers had been with Roman when his sister-in-law, Adira, was removed from the pod. They had stayed with him when he surveyed the wreckage and had shielded him to ensure his privacy while he grieved...while his pain and guilt had all but eaten him alive.
His eyes burned as he stared out at the inky black. “There was a moment when I saw Adira that I...I felt horrible thinking it, but why her? Why did she survive when the others hadn’t? The other vessels in the area scrambled to get clear of the danger, not to help, and I wanted to kill them with my bare hands. They couldn’t have done anything. I know that, but I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“That was your grief speaking.”
“I figured that out after a while. It took me a long time to stop being angry, and even longer to forgive myself.”
“But you have not forgiven yourself. Not fully...yet. It was not your fault.”
“They would still be alive if that damn shuttle flying through the gas cloud—”
“It was their time, Roman. I am sorry that sounds harsh, but it would have happened no matter what you did. If not that trip, then the next. I know it.” Holding his head in her hands, she stared into his eyes. “It was the jump drive. The core was faulty and would have exploded when the shuttle was used the next time. There was no way to detect the problem.”
“What?” He shook his head. “That shuttle was only two years old.”
“The old cores your Alliance depended on were also highly unstable. Your experts stated the jump drives needed to be replaced between six to ten years, but they were wrong.” Before he could argue again, she said, “You shared that shuttle with your brother. The accident could have happened at any time, but I believe it had to happen when you were not on board.”
“I...don’t know what to say to that.”
“You did not force them to attend your tournament. They wanted to support you. Do not belittle their generous hearts by insisting that you made that decision for them. Fate can be lavish or cruel, but rarely understood. If you need to blame someone, then blame me. Because of me, of what we are, I have to believe that you were always meant to survive,” she confessed. “Perhaps there is a reason Adira survived as well.”
He reached up and gripped her wrists. “Amari, what you and I have—”
“Was and is inevitable, predicted by the stars themselves,” she finished for him. “I will always be grateful that you had them in your life, and I will forever mourn their loss, but I cannot be sorry that you are here with me and that you are mine.”
“I’m not sorry, either,” he murmured as he leaned his forehead against hers. “I miss them. I always will. I was privileged to have them for a little while, but I can’t do without you.”
She wanted to take him someplace soothing, so she chose the place where she had found her peace. Manipulating their surrounding wasn’t like transporting in reality. In dreams, all it took was a thought, and they were outside the temple on Ilius where she had learned to hone her gifts.
He looked around. “Where are we?”
“Ilius.”
Pulling him with her, she strolled into the colorful gardens that surrounded the temple. Once they reached a stone bench that overlooked a small waterfall that fed into a gleaming pond, they sat, and she told him about her time spent on Ilius.
Roman listened intently, curious about her life before he’d met her. It was strange being on an alien planet without actually being there, like it was some sort of elaborate halo-room. He felt lighter after being on New Vega with her by his side, even if it was all a dream. There was something about the stories Amari told him that sparked his internal warning system. He didn’t know why, but it left him feeling on edge.
Finally, he just asked, “Why do I get the feeling you’re holding something back? Did hearing about—did seeing my past change how you feel about me?”
“Do not be foolish.”
“Then why haven’t you looked at me since we came to this dreamscape?” he asked softly. “I don’t want to hurt you by talking or thinking about them.”
Turning toward him, her gaze was direct. “It does not hurt me. It might not make sense, but I know them through you. They are your family, even in memories, and are important to me because they mattered to you. This shared dream, it is like a blood bond, yet different. That said, I can tell you are picking up on my emotions. It is a new feeling for both of us, and jealousy is a new emotion for me, as well.”
“There is absolutely nothing for you to feel jealous about. Though, you don’t feel angry to me. You feel more worried about something,” he corrected. “You’re going to have to help me out here, because I don’t think you want me poking in your head when I don’t know what I’m doing.”
She thought about that for a brief moment, then blurted out, “I am not like her.”
“Who, Lisa?” he asked, still feeling puzzled. “You can’t seriously be—”
“She was sweet, compassionate...fragile.”
“Those aren’t bad things,” he rebuked gently. Considering she had said those words as if they were distasteful, he tried explaining. “Lisa was like an angel. Yes, she was sensitive and delicate, but she was also strong.”
Amari waved a hand in the air. “I was not insulting her. I was saying that I am none of those things. As strange as it sounds, I am pleased you had someone before me. Lisa loved you, and you loved her. I do not fault you or her for that. You needed someone in your life.”
“What about what you needed? You waited for me.”
She shrugged. “I knew you were destined to be mine. It was enough to make the wait bearable. You did not know about me.”
“That sounds...reasonable. If our roles were reversed, I don’t know if I would be taking the news that you loved someone before me as well as you are.” Just thinking about it made his hands clench into fists.
“Since we have been discussing the past, I have just been struck by just how different I am to the one you loved before. She followed your lead, and you enjoyed taking care of her, protecting her.”
Exasperated, he unclenched one of his fists and took hold of her hand. “Again, why do you say that like it’s a bad thing? That’s what people do when they love one another. Aren’t we going to take care of each other?”
“Of course, but I do not need...” What was the best way to say it? “Some males would...There is something I should share with you, but I am worried about how you will react.”
“That sounds a bit ominous.”
“Believe me, it is.”
“Okay, who did you kill?” Roman smiled, then he sobered quickly when he saw that he’d hit the mark. Shit, he was going to have to be careful joking about such matters with her. Bracing himself for the worst, he said, “You can tell me anything.”
“It might be better if I showed you.”
Amari held out her hand, and he took it without hesitation. She changed their surrounding against, bringing him into her reoccurring dream on Ziturri. Un
like his dream, they remained separate, simple observers as her past played out before them. He kept his reactions contained, and she was impressed by his composure when she could feel the rage, shock, and horror surging through him.
When she showed him exactly what she was capable of, he was terrified.
“Not of you,” he snapped after seeing her expression. “Give me some damn credit. We can’t tell anyone in the Alliance what you can do, though. Humans have a very bad habit of trying to destroy anything they don’t understand or perceive as a threat.” His eyes narrowed. “Why are you smiling at me?”
“You speak as if you are no longer human. Outside of family and a few close confidants, no one knows what I am capable of,” she assured him. “Actually, no one else knows the extent of my abilities, not even my family. There are even facets I have not explored yet.”
Roman blew out an audible breath. Holy nova, the power she wielded was intense. Off the charts intense. Targeting those with evil in their hearts, then having it be carried out on such a widespread scale across an entire planet would be a scary thing for anyone to handle. It had been a mistake, a costly one, though, she had taken the steps needed to control her abilities. To understand them. The simple fact that she didn’t use the power lightly told him everything he needed to know about her.
“Thank you for trusting me, sweetheart. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this alone for so long.” He smiled wryly. “So, I guess you really don’t need protecting. Were you worried I’d be hurt not being the strong one in our relationship?”
Her expression was serious as she shook her head. “I do need you to be strong. Not to protect me. I need you to be strong enough to protect the universe from me. To stop me, if need be.”
“Can you wake us up?” The dream was genuine enough, but what he wanted to say would be better in reality.
It was dark when they woke in the bedroom, in their bed. Roman was already on top of her, inside of her, and her legs and arms were wrapped tight around him.