by Nicety
“Ma! Is that what you called for? To shit on me?”
“Nope, that ain’t it. I called to see if that boy told you what happened at work today.” She paused.
“No, momma. What happened?”
My heart dropped. I just knew she was going to tell me that someone had caught Cesar fucking that bitch at his job. I knew she was going to tell me they had been fucking for some time so I could go back in the other room and whoop his ass for trying to make me look like the only big hoe in the house. But when she explained that he had lost his job because he lied on his job application seven years ago, I was beyond livid.
“Ma, let me call you back.”
“Yeah, well are you still sending CJ over here for the summer when he gets out of school this weekend?” She asked sounding as if she was nibbling on some food, sending obnoxious smacking noises through the phone.
“Yes momma. You will have your boy all summer.” I laughed but was more than grateful that she loved my son enough to take him every summer.
“Yay! Ok, hit me back.” She said before hanging up.
I wanted to love my mother, but sometimes she pissed me off. We only seemed to bump heads when she brought up my past or was trying to be funny and talk shit about my life. But since being grown, she had become more of a friend than a mother and with both of us out of the house she had started getting her groove back and trying to sound hip these days. More importantly, I was proud that she had lost a hundred pounds in a year and was now forty-seven, sexy and fabulous releasing her inner hoe; even though she had only been seeing one guy since she got skinny. My smile quickly deteriorated though, when I thought about the info she had told me, as I headed back into the room to question him about it. The only thing that kept running through my head was the fact that we would be broke and that was something that I was not prepared to tolerate.
“Cesar, can I speak with you in the other room for a second please?” I asked placing my hands on my hips.
“No.” He replied in a deep assertive voice turning back to his conversation with Yolo.
“Fine. Why the fuck you ain’t tell me that you got fired today?” I blurted.
“You got fired?” Flava screeched.
“Damn dog that’s fucked up.” Yolo spat, rolling the blunt licking the final flap with his sexy ass moist tongue.
I had to focus. “So answer the question.”
“Yeah. I got fired today. Tell ya moms I said thanks for minding her own damn business.” He replied sarcastically.
“What the fuck did you do, Cesar? How we gon’ live? How we gon’ eat? I’ll be damned if I go down to the aid office and have my baby eating off of food stamps.” I said folding my arms angered by his stupidity.
“Shit you gon’ have to do what you have to do then and get your ass off your shoulders. Beggars can’t be choosey.” Cesar said slouching down further into the couch.
“I’m not begging, motherfucka.”
“Then why don’t you get a fucking job then, Mink? CJ is in school all day that’s more than enough hours for you to work.” He snapped. “And ya moms got him all summer so you barely have him anyway.”
“Yeah, sis. It is about time for you to get a job too. Shit I can’t remember the last time you worked. I think Burger King was your last spot.” Flava chimed in.
“I can’t work because my son needs me here and I got that medical condition.” I retorted.
Laughter broke out around the room. I watched as all of them rolled hard at my expense. “What the fuck is so funny?”
“What condition you got, Mink? Allergies from hard work?” Cesar busted out as the group continued to laugh.
“NO! I…I have leg problems.” I said as they all laughed harder than ever now.
“Anyway, I wouldn’t even be in this shit if you would’ve just mailed my motherfucking paperwork to get my drug case expunged back then.” The look in Cesar’s eyes grew dark and evil. “The one thing I asked you to do and you couldn’t even do that.”
I had never seen him so angry not even at the other times he had caught me cheating on him in the past. Thinking back I tried to piece together what actually happened to that damned envelope he gave me to mail off but I couldn’t. My palms were so sweaty that I could have watered the grass with them. I didn’t know what to say to him or how to respond to that. I was wrong and I knew it.
“I did mail it off, Cesar.” I lied. “It ain’t my fault if the state didn’t do its damn job.” I crossed my arms and plopped down on the beanbag chair in between the couch and the TV in the corner.
“Ay man. I don’t know what you plan on doing for money but you’re always welcomed to my hustle.” Yolo spat turning to Cesar.
When I heard those words roll of his sweet succulent lips, my eyes lit up like a kid in a toy store. Yolo and Flava needed and wanted for nothing and if I could get a piece of that I would be the happiest girl in the world. Never again would we be broke or have to worry about the bills and rent being paid. Never again would my son have to beg Cesar for the things that he wants, he could have everything his little heart desired. I focused on Yolo’s long dark braids then his rich sun-tanned skin. Flava was damn lucky and a part of me felt like she didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve him.
“Yolo, as tempting as that does sound, I’m gonna have to pass. Been on the up and up for a long time now, ain’t really tryin’ to go back.” Cesar replied noticing the dismay on my face as he spoke.
“Com’ on now dude you know I ain’t gon’ have you out there bogus like that and all my shit is tight, straight up. I’ve been doing this for a minute so it’s gotta stay tight, ya feel me?” Yolo said as he rose reaching his hand out to help Flava from her seat, not that she needed it.
“Yeah. I feel you. Thanks though.” Cesar said checking out Flava’s ass as she turned and walked towards the door.
“Aight dude. You change your mind, you know how to holla at me.” Yolo replied shaking up with Cesar before heading to the door. “Bye, Mink.”
“Bye. Thanks for coming by.” I replied as I watched what should’ve been my future walk out the damn door.
As I closed the door, I couldn’t stop replaying over and over again the words that Yolo said. Cesar could make our lives complete. That penny pinching he was doing back in the day is nothing compared to the big money I know he can make up under Yolo. All he needed to do was swallow his pride and get the fuck in the ring.
“So Cesar—“
“No Mink.”
“But Cesar, if you just listen to reason—“
“NO MINK!” Cesar thundered as he walked off to the bathroom slamming the door behind me.
Chapter 3— Cesar
For the last seven days, Mink hasn't been able to drop the offer that Yolo extended me last week. Yesterday I almost hit her in the jaw for even fixing her lips to ask again. I saw a devilish grin of greed underneath her pity party facial expressions dance across her face each time. But she could hang it up though. My drug selling days were over and there was not a chance in hell I'd go back and risk my freedom and not be able to see Cesar Jr. again.
I dressed in my fresh Calvin Klein gray colored suit, compliments of a sale at Burlington Coat Factory. My shoes were of a patent leather and a name I knew nothing of. I shaved clean just for the occasion and moisturized my face for that added shine and glow to my face. I was cleaner than that thang feeling like nobody could tell me anything or say no to a face like this.
"Awe shit now! Look who's all sexy today. What's the occasion?" Mink asked stopping by the bathroom.
"Shit a nigga is about to go get a job and I ain't coming home until I do." I replied putting the finishing touches on my smooth dark skin.
"Oh." She grimaced as she continued her journey to the living room. "Well you'll have to take the bus where you're going cause I have to take CJ some more clothes for the summer to my mom's. He's going to be next door with his little friend Kyle and they're gonna be doing stuff so..."
"So wha
t? You can't give me a ride nowhere or nothing?"
"You know what baby I would love to but they are going to the aquarium soon and I don't wanna make them late." She replied pretending to rush through the house looking for nothing.
"And what are you doing after that?"
"Oh, I've gotta run my momma to work because her car is down right now."
It was clear that she was digging herself into a hole trying not to drive me around to go job hunting. But I was feeling too good and in too good of a mood to let her ass blow my natural high. She grabbed the big red rollaway suitcase sitting in the middle of the living room dragging it to the front door.
"Okay hun I'm gone. Don't wait up I might be going out with Flava and the girls later." She said as she walked out the door.
She didn't even say goodbye. This bitch had the nerve to be acting like she was mad at me when she was the one caught with her legs in the air. Fuck that shit. I searched for the business folder I had created last night that held my resumes and forklift certification and headed out. My feet hit the pavement harder than an elephant, ready to get the day started and conquer this job search. As I approached the bus stop on the corner, I felt a little less than a man. I felt as if a piece of my manhood had been chopped off and burned never to return. For the most part, I choked this up as miniscule depression.
Honk! Honk!
"Hey Cesar. You need a ride?" Lasha asked pulling up in front of me in her nearly ten year old gold convertible Sebring.
"Hell yeah!" I replied, no shame in my game.
"Damn that's crazy seeing you on the bus stop. Where you gotta go?" Lasha asked as I slid into the passenger's seat.
"Shit just job hunting. Tryin' to keep my paper flowin'. You can take me to Chicago Ridge if you can. I figure all them damn stores in that mall, somebody is bound to say yes. Ya know?"
"Yeah I feel you. So how's ya girl doing?" Lasha asked as I looked over noticing how thick her thighs seemed in those jeans.
"She's cool." I licked my lips.
I could tell she was on her way to work because she had her orange smock and polo sitting right on the armrest. It was so hot outside that she wore only a tight red tank top that hugged her tits nicely; sitting upright, teasing me as they bounced gently with every bump on the road. It was hard not to look at the golden melons glistening in the sun and every time she looked over to see what I was gawking at I played it off like I was checking out something past her.
"Hmm. Well we're still friends Cesar. We've known each other for enough months to call each other friends and since I started that bitch ass job you’ve been more than nice to me. So if you ever need to talk or anything, you can always call me." Lasha licked her honey brown full lips slowly taking my Iphone out of my hand at the stoplight to type her number in.
She called her phone to have my number in her phone as well and even though I should've objected to the whole thing, I didn't. Shit that number might come in handy one day since I know she's willing to help a nigga in need out. I reached in my pocket pulling out a dub, waving it to her.
"I wanna thank you for helping me out. You probably gon' be late for work by doing this but I do appreciate you." I said still waving the money by her side.
"Oh my God. If you don't put that shit away, Cesar. I don't want nor do I need your money." She replied turning up her lips.
"Ok but gas ain't cheap and nothing comes free, girl. It’s out of respect so just take it."
"I don't want your money Cesar...I want your time. I want you, baby." Lasha whispered softly side eyeing me to see if I heard her. I did.
"Lasha, you know my situation. I'm just not that type of man-"
"I know. That's probably why I'm so attracted to you." She sighed. "You ain't gotta say nothing and if you give me that money you'll only hurt my feelings. Just consider it a friend helping a friend."
Lasha slapped me on my knee playfully, laughing to cover her true feelings as she pulled into the mall parking lot. Baby girl was feeling me harder than I thought she was. I knew she liked me but something inside of me told me it reached a little bit deeper than just a simple crush. I’m not gonna front. I might have led her on a tad bit with it as well but it was only because I felt shit wasn’t right at home and a part of me felt it too. I felt bad for Lasha, loving a nigga who was unavailable, but she was a good person and I didn’t want to hurt her.
“Well, here you go. Good luck baby.” Lasha smiled shooting me a good-humored punch in the arm.
“Thanks again, girl.” I said slipping the dub back down into my pocket while getting out the car, folder in hand. “I truly appreciate you.”
“It’s nothing baby. Call me anytime.” Lasha winked her right eye at me.
She pulled off and I walked inside the mall, checking my phone for the time, 9:22am. The shop signs were all brightly lit and the floors were newly polished and the halls were deserted since the mall had just opened a few minutes ago. It was the perfect time to speak to managers before the customers came rushing in with money to spend. The entire time I stood in the middle of the hall trying to figure out which store to hit first, I could think of nothing but Lasha. Her kindness, smooth skin, and the fact that she was willing to do anything for a nigga raised my awareness about her. Not to mention, shorty had a badass body.
I walked into Footlocker noticing that none of the employees greeted me or even acknowledged that I was there. Working in retail for as long as I did, I knew exactly how to play this.
“Excuse me. May I speak to the manager please?” I asked from across the room keeping one eye on them and the other on the one customer they had in the store.
I walked right up to the customer and introduced myself as a potential employee and asked him if he needed any help. I was poised and confident knowing that I knew any and everything that had to do with running shoes, especially the AirMaxes that he was in the vicinity of. Every question that the old balding Caucasian man spat out at me I spat an answer right back, laughing and sharing old war stories as men did in this situation. I have laughed and conversed with many great customers on a regular basis so talking with this guy was like second nature.
“Hi, how are you? My name is Paul and I’m the manager here. What can I do ya for?” Paul asked with a bubbly smile, shaking my hand but interrupting what I had going on.
“Paul, this man is here for a job and he just sold me two pairs of AirMaxes. You got a long term customer in me if I can come in here and talk to this young man when I shop.” The old man smiled as he winked at me.
“Thank you sir.” I smiled back confident that this shit was in the bag.
“Well. I appreciate that sir. Thank you very much.” Paul responded before turning to me. “How the hell did you do that? That man comes in here every month and every month he buys nothing.”
“When you work for one of the hugest hardware stores known to man for nearly a decade you get to know how to upsell and handle customers.” I replied in banter.
“Well I must admit, I’m damn well impressed. Com’ on back and talk to me in my office, Mr. uh?”
“King. Cesar King, sir.”
“Nice. Well step on back here sir and let’s see what we could do about getting you a place here at FootLocker.” Paul smiled leading me back to his office.
A sense of pride came over me as I followed him to the back of the store past the three mean mugging employees. Then we past the inventory room and into his small cramped office. I don’t know what it was about retail stores but for the most part, the managers all had linen closets for offices. It showed how much the company wanted to invest in their workers. Anyway as he offered me a seat at his desk while he stood, he reached above me on the shelf pulling down an envelope full of new hire paperwork.
“Fill this out for me my man and I’ll be back to discuss a few things with you.” Paul said gleaming from ear to ear.
“Will do, sir. Thank you.”
My fingers were anxious to snatch the papers out of the long white
envelope and begin filling in my information. As I skimmed through the papers to become familiar with what I would be answering, I came across that dreaded question. The question that pissed me off the more I read it, the one that had caused all of my problems in the first place.
Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
Why the fuck did they have to ask these questions like this on job applications? I mean, if I tell them I’m a felon they’re likely to look at me as an automatic threat to society and shun me from existence. If I lie, just to get honest work , they’ll assume I’ve been scheming all along and condemn me once it’s found out . You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t with this kind of shit and then they wonder why motherfuckas end up right back in the prison system. Because society refuses to accept them as human beings who still need to support themselves and their families.
Damn!
All I could think about was how my fucking son was gonna eat if I didn’t find a job soon. That no good for nothing bitch of mines wasn’t gonna get up off her ass and do shit besides, I’m a man. I need to provide for my family. The question stared back at me like I was in a six-man line up at the police station. I knew it was a long shot but I had to take it. My son was counting on me and there was no way I was gonna let my little man down and have him thinking his daddy wasn’t shit, wasn’t able to take care of him and his momma.
No.
I finally answered that bitch ass question. All I could do was hope they didn’t do background checks. I continued on with the rest of my paperwork, filling out every other answer like a breeze. I neatly fixed the work and folded my hands waiting on Paul to return. His office was a reflection of him and another manager whose pictures were plastered on the wall on brown plaques. I could see they were men who took pride in their work having been here for over twenty years.
“Hey buddy. You finished?” Paul said pushing the door open.