by Nicety
We neared the room, my mother’s feet stepping one in front of the other as if she was a one year old learning to do it all over again. We were getting closer and closer to the door but all I wanted to do was run the hell away from it and hide under the nearest rock. It would be just my luck that bitch woke up and pointed me out as the prime fucking suspect. But the inflection the doctor’s voice told a different story. If it was right, that bitch would never wake up and I just might get off Scott free from this thing. I couldn’t help but laugh inside, checking my mother’s face as she leaned putting damn near all of her weight on me.
“Hello ma’am. Are you of any relation to the victim?” A man asked walking in front of us blocking the entrance to the room.
“Yes. I’m Ms. Pearl. May I help you?” My mother answered.
“I’m Detective Rich and the this is Detective Dicks of the Chicago Police Department. We just needed to ask you a few questions about your daughter.” The man said as he and his sexy ass, tall, muscular build partner flashed their badges. “It would probably be best to catch you before you go in to see your daughter.”
“What makes you think I want to answer a bunch of damn questions from you before I even lay eyes on my daughter?” My mother lifted her head up like she was Suge from the Color Purple standing drenched in the rain, locking eyes on the two detectives. “This may be the last time I get to see my baby and you really want to interrupt that?”
“Um, no ma’am. We do not. Please by all means. Go right inside.” Detective Rich said. As they stepped aside allowing us to entire the room that held my nearly lifeless sister on a slab.
Chapter 3
**Lasha
What seemed like days only took a matter of hours as I walked out of the jetway and back into Midway Airport. My brother's bloody disfigured face had been haunting me ever since I left. It was like everyone I encountered as I walked past them had his face, staring back at me as if I had done the terrible act of taking his life. I knew I hadn't and I knew it wasn't directly my fault. So why did I feel so guilty as if I had pulled the very trigger and done the deed myself?
I knew if I had just completed the task like my poppa asked me to in the beginning that Drake would for sure be alive today. I had no business dicking around with Cesar's ass when I should have been disposing of my target and abiding by my poppa's rules. The initial shock still hadn't worn off that I could be so damn stupid to het side tracked like that. But from here on out it was business, strictly business. I didn’t have time for anymore games.
I hailed a cab as soon as I stepped out of the Arrivals door. They were all lined up just itching to snag a fare just as a bad as I needed to get home. I needed to get my tools, find this fool and blow his muthafucking brains out. I needed to be able to go to my poppa and show him that even though I messed up by not completing the job when I first got here nine months ago, I could still be trusted. I could still handle business. He counted on me to assassinate assholes like Yolo and keep the family cartel in hierarchy. I wouldn't disappoint him again.
I tossed the cabbie forty bucks not even waiting for him to hold his hand out as he pulled up in front of my building. The meter ran to $39.40, so technically I did him a favor by not wasting his breath trying to schmooze me over for a tip. I exited the car heading straight for my door and jogged up the stairs to the second floor where my apartment was. Turning the key at the door, I checked my phone to be accurate on the time, 1:52pm. Damn was time flying but I refused to let it be an excuse for why Yolo didn't meet his maker today.
"Where you been?" Cesar mumbled deeply as he emerged from out of the corner of the small kitchen space.
“OH! What the fuck? Why are you creeping around here?” I asked clasping my chest like my heart was about to jump out onto the floor. “I didn’t even know you were coming here so soon.”
“Yeah. There’s probably a lot of shit you don’t know.” He replied moving towards the bar stools on the other side of the island area.
“What’s that supposed to mean, Cesar?”
“Where were you?” He said sucking his teeth as if he was preparing his chops for some spectacular feast.
“I was at school.”
“You was at school and you took a cab home?”
“Oh. Yeah, I didn’t feel like being bothered with anyone on the train.” I lied shuffling through papers like I was really looking for something.
He just sat there staring at me unnervingly. I wanted to tell him to find something else to look at or do but instead I just looked back and smiled. I couldn’t very well go for my tools while he was sitting there and then that would engage another conversation where I would have to explain who I was and what I really did for a living. I would have to explain that I’ve never been to school here and the only reason why I got close to him in the first place was to get close to finding out about Yolo and his operation. None of that explanation needed to be said now. Not anymore.
“So you were at school huh?” He asked again with a raised eyebrow.
“Yes. Why do you keep asking me that?”
“Something doesn’t seem right, Lasha. Every since we’ve been together its seemed like you’ve been very secretive. You know, hiding something for no reason. I thought I told you that you didn’t have to hide anything from me.”
“I know that and I haven’t. You look crazy right now. Are you okay?” I asked wondering what he was trying to get at.
Cesar’s facial expression looked damn crazy. His eyes seemed like they were bulging ready to pop out of his head. His tongue kept over coating his lips as if they were beyond dry and crusty from thirst. Even his breathing seemed erratic at times like he just wanted to leap across the furniture on me. Still, I played it cool. There was no need for me to do otherwise. As I straightened the papers on the coffee table, out the corner of my eye I sensed him moving about steadily watching my every move to see what I was doing. I couldn’t help but to feel like I was being monitored.
Though I was trying to focus on his odd behavior, I couldn’t help but to think about my brother and what torture he must have went through before he died. It again sent tears to my eye ducts that I refused to let water and fall. My facial expression grew from solemn to frustrated and nearly saddened as I struggled to fight back the water works. Faint sniffles could be heard emanating from my nose while I kept my head down for fear of being questioned. Then it hit me. The one thing that I needed to relax was standing right in front of me, watching me like a hawk.
“Cesar, make love to me.” I said jumping up from my seat, my palms shaky and moist.
“What? Girl, are you serious right now?” That was not the reply that I was looking for.
“Yes! I’m dead ass serious. I’m just a little stressed out right now and the only thing that will help me is sex. So what do you say? You wanna take my virginity right now?” I seduced walking up to rub my fingers across his broad chest.
“Lasha, I don’t know where this is all coming from but you really need to calm down. You acting crazy and horny like something or someone has gotten into you.” He responded stepping back to look me in the eyes.
“Really, Cesar? You are seriously trippin’. I told you I’m just stressed out. That’s all.” I assured him even though I knew my words were lies. “Now shut up and take your pants off.”
“Aye, you need to calm that shit down right now. I’m not touching your ass and this shit right here ain’t even you.” He roared lowering his head shaking it in disappointment. “Who you were a few days ago, is not the same person standing in front of me. You’ve changed and I can see it.”
“Just because I want you to fuck me, I’ve changed? All I want is to not have let these past few months go in vain and get my fucking rocks off.” The words actually just flew from my mouth before I could catch them.
My mind was on overload. I didn’t know if I should have stopped while I was ahead or if I should have kept going, pressing on for him to fuck me. Truth was not only was it good to he
lp relax me but I didn’t want the next asshole I met to be my first. I had feelings for Cesar and even though I had to let him go, I still wanted him to be the one to break this chain. I looked at him with puppy dog eyes, grabbing his hands and wrapping them around to my plumped backside.
“This pussy belongs to you. Don’t you want it?” I whispered in his ear softly nibbling at the same time.
“Not like this.” He breathed leaning in getting a good whiff from the scent of my hair. “You’re hiding something. I can smell it all on you.”
I jerked back gasping; wondering if what he smelled was the scent of Drake’s dead body on me. I nervously but discreetly began checking my clothes and gym shoes for any signs of blood droppings that may have gotten on me from sitting next to his motionless body. When I found none, I looked up into his eyes feeling like they were glaring back accusing me of something, anything. I needed him and was willing to give him something every man dreamed of and all he could think about were the potential lies that I was hiding.
“Did you find what you were looking for?” He asked as I realized the frantic search of my body wasn’t really all that discreet.
“I wasn’t looking for anything.”
“YOU’RE LYING, LASHA! Damn!” He bellowed at the top of his lungs.
“Why are you yelling at me? All I did was ask you if you wanted to fuck or not. It’s a simple yes or no answer. Do you want to fuck me?” I roared back not wanting to get in to the middle of a tug of war with him about what was fact and what was fiction.
“No! You can miss me with that lame ass shit.” He said storming off to the couch plopping down and firing up his el.
“Ugh! When I get back, Cesar, I need you gone.” I said snatching up my keys and scurrying to the door.
“What the fuck you mean you want me gone? Naw, get your ass back in here. We need to talk about this.” Cesar called after but I pretended not to hear it. “Lasha!”
“I need you gone, Cesar. We’re over. This…was a mistake from jump. I should have never accepted your proposal and I should have never started kicking it with you in the first place.” I said as tears finally flowed in lines down my face, pissing me off to my very core.
“Lasha, would you just fucking talk to me? I can see it all in your face that you are tired of holding it all in. You’re doing that when you ain’t got to. Just tell me.” He said walking closer to me as I placed my hand on the doorknob.
“Stop, Cesar. We can never be. We were never supposed to be. It’s over and I have somewhere I need to go…something I need to do. Please just leave my house and take all of your things with you. I never want to see or hear from you again.” The words blurted from my mouth uncontrollably. Not that I really wanted to hide it.
For a minute, I stared into his deep dark eyes wishing that I could run into his arms and tell him everything he needed to know. I wanted him to wrap those strong arms around my body and squeeze me tightly letting me know that everything would be okay, that he had me and I never had to worry about another thing ever again. But I knew that was far from reality. I was mad at myself for displaying this kind of emotion in front of him. Hiding emotions from people that held my heart was one of the things that I failed to conquer in my short year as a hit girl. I hated it and so did my poppa. It was probably why he was so hard on me.
“Lasha, are you fucking somebody else?” Cesar blurted as I turned whipping my head around in disbelief.
“Is that what you think? If that’s it then you don’t know me well enough and it only accentuates the fact that we don’t need to be together.” I replied more calmly than I thought. “How could you think that of me?”
“I don’t know what to think. I mean you’re here one minute then you’re there the next. You won’t even tell me the truth about what’s going on with you. How the hell should I know what’s the truth and what’s a damn lie.” Cesar paused running his hand roughly across his lips. “I left one chick cause she thought she could rule me with lies. I refuse to be a fool again.”
“Eh.” I smirked as tears continued to fall. “Well you don’t have to. I broke up with you. Remember? I meant what I said.”
“So that’s it. You just don’t give a fuck and its over. You can forget about me just like that?” He sighed. “Did I ever mean anything to you?”
“You still do.” I could literally see his heart breaking as I spoke those words freely. “But you’re right. We can’t go one living a lie. Its best to end this now, before it gets too late.”
“I don’t fucking believe this shit.” He muttered as I opened the door.
“I’m sorry, Cesar. Good-bye.”
My legs quickly marched out the door allowing the door to slam behind me. My anger was misdirected towards him when I was angrier with myself. My yellow skin began to turn redder as the tears fell from my eyes and I let out the loudest of wails. I knew he could hear me as I ran down the stairs and into my car. I knew he was watching. But I was hurt and there was no hiding that. All of my feelings began to rush my brain all at once giving me the sensation of euphoria.
I felt like the blood was rushing quickly to my head even though I was sitting upright. I felt like the my skin was being burned a million times over and over again even though clearly I wasn’t in harms way. That’s how I knew, it was truly over. I had wasted so much time with him that I couldn’t even see that I was killing my brother. It wasn’t his fault and even though it hurt me to say those words to him, to walk out of the door and never turn back to his loving warm embrace I knew I was doing the right thing. This way he would never have to know that I used him in order to spy on Yolo and he would never have to find out that he was right. I did lie to him on many occasions.
“I’m so sorry.” I whispered as I started my car up and pulled off.
**Cesar
That was it. It was over. I couldn’t believe that she just walked out of the door with a drenched face and said fuck me, its over. She was kidding herself if she didn’t believe that she was in love with me and that we belonged together. It hurt worse than I thought it would when she initially said it and then shock wore off. She wasn’t getting off that easily though. If Lasha needed time to sort through her issues before she told me the truth than that’s what I would give her. But one thing let me know that she really didn’t want to leave me. One thing, one action let me further know that she didn’t truly mean what she said. She never gave me my ring back. Women, who are truly done with a relationship, don’t give a fuck about a chunk of metal on their finger. They always chuck it away and since she didn’t I knew we weren’t really over.
I sat back on the couch blowing my spliff and contemplating what I needed to do to get this girl to open up to me. I didn’t give a fuck that I had sent her dip off nigga to his dirt nap. Hell I was even waiting for her to find out so she could ask me about it. The fuck was I going to lie for? It was the one thing that kept my anger jolted up about her. She could’ve told me she had a fuck boy on the side and I would have never judged her. But her lies got dude fucked up even though Yolo had initiated the hit in the first place. My cell buzzed like crazy on my outer left leg.
“Yo. What’s good nigga. Tried to hit you when I landed but you—“
“Aye, bro. I need you to come to Loyola University Medical Center ICU, man. It’s Flava. She’s been shot man.” Yolo interrupted, his voice sounding dry and frog like.
“What the fuck? Who did this shit dude? Tell me right now who fucking did this shit and I’ll go spray their ass right now!” I snapped breathing heavily and jumping up to my feet.
“I don’t know. I don’t even know what the fuck happened man. I just got here and her people are in the room right now talking to them peoples and shit.” He said sounding as if he was about to fall over and die himself. “Just get here man, ASAP.”
“I’m there, Yolo. I’m on my way right now.” I guaranteed him as I punched the END button and stuffed my cell back down in my jeans.
The news was devastatin
g to say the least. Flava was a sweet kind young woman and a damn good wife. I couldn’t even think of anyone wanting to hurt her unless it was someone trying to hurt him but got her instead. I tried putting the necessary clues together in my head so I could come to Yolo with something logical before he jumped off the deep end and began killing whoever was in his sight. That shit was wrong and baby girl truly didn’t deserve that treatment. I just hope she’s gonna be okay.
Chapter 4— Mink
Yolo bobbed his head impatiently in and out of the room’s small square door window every chance he got. He was too eager to know what was going on with Flava and because the detectives needed to talk to him separately, they asked him to wait outside. Detective Rich and Dicks stood in the corner of the room near the visitor chairs but never took a seat. They just stood there watching us, waiting for us to give them the eye that we were ready to talk. Little did they know, I had never taken my eye off of them for a second leaving my back only slightly turned in their direction. I pretended to be the hopelessly grieving sister as my momma and I stood over Flava staring down at her swollen body.