He did so, and the room was suddenly quiet. She drew up her knees, wrapped her arms around them. “Do you have any idea how vulnerable a woman can feel? I’m a strong woman and not afraid of most things, but I’m intelligent enough to stay in an environment that works for me. I have managed to do most things I’ve wanted, but I’ve always made certain that I surrounded myself with people I trusted. Being blind makes me even more vulnerable. I can’t slap your face and walk out of here like a drama queen. If I fell over a chair, it would ruin the effect.”
“Do you want to slap my face?”
She pushed her wet hair from her face. “No, I want you to let me make my own decision. This isn’t a small thing you’re asking of me. This is even bigger than marriage, and I was never going to get married.”
“Why wouldn’t you marry, Antonietta?”
She shrugged her shoulders. The water held heat, and right now she needed heat. “How would I ever know a man wanted me for me? I’m not how you see me at all. I’m overweight, and I do have scars; not like Tasha led me to believe, but they’re there. I’ve seen firsthand how damaging a wrong marriage can be. Paul and Tasha suffered so much. You have no idea. Their father was such a womanizer.” She rubbed her hand over her face. “He was with every maid in the palazzo and every other woman he could charm. He was in all the tabloids. He didn’t care where he was or who would see him. He was capable of having sex with a woman in front of the Paul and Tasha and laughing about it. He was abrupt and disapproving with Paul and showered Tasha with presents and little else.”
“He had no honor, Antonietta. I do.”
“Aunt Selena knew about all the women. She drank so she could pretend otherwise. There was a rumor that one of his women had his baby.” Antonietta rubbed her hand across her mouth as if trying to wipe away a bad memory. “Aunt Selena died one day under what the authorities claim were suspicious circumstances. She and Anton were in the tower. There was a terrible fight.
Nonno
went up and tried to calm her and get her to come down. Even Helena tried. Selena fell or was pushed. It was a horrible time in our lives. If there ever was a baby, Uncle Anton paid the woman off, and she aborted it, because it was never mentioned again. He went on with his life as if nothing happened.”
“How did he die?”
“A car accident. He was drinking and went off the road.” She leaned the back of her head against the rim of the Jacuzzi. “Tasha’s been married. Both times her husband cheated on her. Franco is married, and his life is miserable. The few men I’ve dated that seemed a reasonable partner ended up wanting my money and/or the Scarletti business.”
“Is that what you think I want, Antonietta?” His voice was very quiet.
She shivered despite the heat of the water. “You want me to be a creature, another species that needs blood to survive. You want me to change what I am for you.”
“Would you prefer me to walk away from you?”
The moment he said the words, she felt a wrenching panic inside of her. “I thought you said lifemates could never be apart.”
“Do you want me to leave you? Do you want to go on with a life that does not include me in it? That is the question, more than any other, for you to decide.”
“I want out of here.” She stood up, the water pouring off of her.
Byron was there instantly, lifting her out of the Jacuzzi and wrapping a soft towel around her. Antonietta clutched it to her and made her way to the bed, using the map in Byron’s mind. “Then there is a choice. You brought me here to convert me, but you’re giving me a choice.”
“You would never be happy or trust me completely if I made such an important decision for you, Antonietta. I know that much about you. I want your trust. And I want you to choose me. I do not want it to be because you are my lifemate, or because you might regain your sight, or even because we have good sex. I want you to say yes because you feel the same way about me as I feel about you. I want you to know you love me that much.”
“Great sex,” she corrected softly. He was tearing her up inside. If he had tried to force her, she would have fought him at every turn, but he was asking her. More than just asking her. He was stripping away his pride and laying his feelings at her feet. “Byron, if I ask you to live with me at the palazzo, the two of us together, married in my way, and we could find a way to be safe, would you do it if I didn’t follow through with the conversion?”
“You are my lifemate. I would choose to live with you and grow old with you. I would end my life when you died.”
Antonietta heard the ring of truth in his voice. She curled up on the bed, her head on the pillow. “Come keep me warm, Byron.”
He went to her immediately, just as she knew he would, fitting his body around hers, his arms drawing her close, wrapping around her so that she felt safe and warm.
“I want a family wedding with Tasha standing up for me. And I want you to make peace with her.”
“She is determined to have Captain Diego throw me in prison.”
“She’ll stop when you’re family. We protect family, and that will include you.”
“You are asking a lot of me, but I suppose for you, to keep you happy, I will find a way to get along with your provoking, impossible cousin.”
She turned in his arms, found his face with her fingertips, moving her hands over it to take in every detail. She touched his lips, his teeth. “I choose you, Byron. I want to spend my life with you. So let’s get to it.”
He leaned into her, kissed her on her mouth. Her lips were trembling beneath his. “I want you to be certain. There is no going back. Once we do this, I cannot undo it.”
“I would never say yes if I didn’t mean it.”
He kissed her again with such tenderness her heart somersaulted. He held her with such care, his enormous strength leashed. Even in the throes of wild passion, he was careful with her. She felt his breath, the soft velvet of his lips, the gentle tug of his teeth as they scraped back and forth in a mesmerizing rhythm over her skin. There was white-hot pain giving way immediately to pleasure. Whips of lightning danced in her veins. Antonietta wrapped her arms around Byron’s head, her fists tangling in his hair. She felt his tongue, heard his soft whisper, words she didn’t catch.
She felt him shift her in his arms, hold her close to his chest. She ran her hands over his body. His hand moved to the nape of her neck, pressed her mouth just above his heart. There was power and heat. Her body flooded with energy. Fire blossomed in her belly, in her breasts, between her legs. His body was over hers, surging into hers with the same fire and power. There was a dreamlike quality to their lovemaking. The taste in her mouth was hot and tangy. Salty. His hands were gentle, shaping her body, holding her close. His lovemaking was tender and gentle, completely unlike his earlier passion, making her feel cherished and precious. With every movement of his body, she felt the tension wind tighter and tighter, felt him rising with her. Their release rocked them both, yet left her exhausted, resting against him, limp and drained but filled with a strange peace.
She snuggled against him, burrowing against his shoulder, closing her eyes. I’m so tired, Byron. I don’t think I can stay awake. If anything momentous is happening, don’t wake me up; just let me sleep through it. She wasn’t altogether certain if she had dreamt their joining. If she really had taken his blood. Her mind felt hazy, her body so limp she couldn’t move.
“Why did you say yes to me, Antonietta?” He kissed her eyelids, the corners of her mouth. “Why would you choose something so unknown over a life you enjoy that is familiar? Your courage is terrifying.”
She rubbed her face against his shoulder like a contented cat. “I think everyone wants to be loved, Byron. All of my life I dreamt of meeting a man who would really love me and want to share his life with me. I need to be loved. I look into your mind and I see that same need in you. It isn’t so courageous to grab hold of life’s opportunities when they come your way. Life is meant to be lived. I don’t want to
sit on the sidelines and watch it go by. I never have. Being blind has taught me to take the opportunities I can, the moment they’re offered. With you it is easy. I see into your mind, and the way you feel about me is shattering.” Her soft laughter played over his skin. “It’s unrealistic, but if you want to view me as beautiful and wonderful, that’s okay with me.”
He wrapped his arms more closely around her, his touch possessive. “You already have certain abilities, and you are extraordinarily sensitive. It will be interesting to see how your gifts develop over the coming years.”
“But we will live at the palazzo,” she reiterated, wanting reassurance. “
Nonno
would not want me to leave. And no one understands Tasha.”
“She never says what she means. Most of the time I would scan her mind and read her intentions, not paying any attention to her words, but your family and even some of your servants have those strange barriers.”
“Will I be able to do that, too?”
“Yes. But in the case of your family, they would realize what was happening, and you would have to remove the memory. You learn, over time, it is better, if possible, to allow people the privacy of their own thoughts.”
“I found it intrusive and a bit frightening when I realized you could read my mind. Thoughts come and go randomly at times. I wasn’t sure I wanted you to see what I was really like.”
He laughed softly, feathered little kisses into her hair. “I find it better to scan Josef at all times, and you might want to remember to do the same. He looks innocent enough, and sounds it, but in truth he is a holy terror.”
“Do you think I’ll really be able to see?” She drew up her knees. There was a strange burning in her stomach. With each passing minute it had increased until it was painful. Moving her legs didn’t seem to help.
Byron slid his hand to her belly, fingers splayed wide to take in the expanse. His touch should have been soothing, but sharp spears of pain shot through her abdomen and down her spine.
“Byron?” Sweat broke out on her body. Cramps gripped her muscles. “What’s happening to me?”
“The conversion is taking place.” He merged fully with her, tried to shield her from the pain. No matter how hard he tried to block it, the burning ripped through her body. A convulsion lifted her up and slammed her back into the mattress, in spite of his restraining arms.
She felt something alive racing beneath her skin, itching horribly, trying to force its way out of her pores. She thought she screamed, but no sound emerged. A noise boomed in the room, annoying, hurting her ears. She couldn’t seem to adjust the volume.
Jacques. Jacques, what should I do?
Byron reached for the one man who he knew had been through such an event. The one man who might aid him in helping to shield Antonietta from the worst of the pain. It was easy enough to allow Jacques to share knowledge of what was happening to Antonietta.
There is little you can do until her body is rid of all the toxins. Then you must send her to sleep and give her body time to heal in the earth. It is a difficult time, Byron. If you should need aid in any form, I am here.
Antonietta gasped as another wave of fire burned through her body, burst over her heart and lungs and gripped every muscle in her body. She forced air through her lungs, realized Byron was breathing for both of them. She reached out blindly for his hand. Byron tightened his grip on her, wanting to hold her to him.
A thousand needles stabbed her eyes; fire burned her eye sockets. The ends of her fingers went numb, then burst, hooked claws emerging, then receding. Byron was forced to let her hands go to keep from being ripped open. Her body convulsed again, arcing, stretching, contorting. She was slammed back to the mattress.
“I had no idea, Antonietta. I would never have asked you to go through this.”
She rode out another wave, tried a small smile, but her face felt like it was lengthening. “Labor should be a piece of cake to Carpathian women after this.” Her voice was constricted, not her own. A soft growl accompanied her words. The noise in her ears increased to a deafening roar. “I’m going to be sick. Get me into the bathroom.”
Byron scooped her up, moving quickly. Tears burned in his eyes. Guilt rode him hard. “I should have known about this. Before I asked such a thing of you, I should have known what I was getting you into. I am sorry,
cara
.” He held her hair out of her face as she vomited repeatedly.
Byron had no idea how much time passed. It seemed hours. Endless. He was shocked at the pain, the terrible burning, a blowtorch assaulting her insides. He was grateful she couldn’t see as something raised her skin rushing through her body time and again. Several times he was forced to restrain her when she would have ripped her skin from her bones or torn her own eyes from her face. He tried everything he could think of to lessen her suffering, but all he could really do was hold her to him and watch that she didn’t harm herself. Exhaustion helped more than anything so that she rested between the waves of pain, holding his hand, keeping her mind carefully blank.
Byron was grateful the moment he sensed it was safe to send her to sleep. He issued the merciful command ruthlessly, and she succumbed without a murmur.
Chapter 15
Byron carried Antonietta from deep within the healing soil back to the bed in the villa. He made certain there was no evidence of having spent the day in the ground as he laid her on the sheets and curled up beside her. His heart was pounding, and he actually tasted fear in his mouth. Framing her face with his hands, he kissed her mouth. “Wake for me, Antonietta. Wake and embrace your new life.”
She stirred, her lush body moving beneath his, her breasts pushing into his chest, her hips providing a cradle for his. Antonietta stretched leisurely and opened her eyes.
She screamed and covered her eyes. “Something’s wrong, Byron. This can’t be right. Something went wrong.”
Byron tried to read her mind, but panic was uppermost. “Let me see. I do not understand what is wrong, Antonietta. You just woke up, there should not be pain. Are you in pain?”
Her stomach churned. “I came awake all at once and could hear things outside the walls of the villa. I could feel you, your skin, your body, and I immediately wanted you. I was thinking of making love, how beautiful it would be and how wonderful it is to wake up in your arms. I opened my eyes, and everything went crazy.”
Byron breathed for both of them, slow and steady until her wild heart was back in rhythm, and the chaos of her mind was under control. He examined the memories in her mind. The room tilting. His face shooting at her, distorted. Blurring. Light coming in from all directions. It was a dizzying kaleidoscope of images and color. Pain shot through his head, his stomach lurched.
“Can we fix it?” Antonietta wrapped her arms around Byron’s neck and hung on, her eyes closed tightly. “That was scary.”
He kissed the corner of her mouth, nibbled at her chin, his mind racing as he sought answers. “My friend Jacques has a lifemate, Shea, a doctor before her conversion, now a valued healer. Let me see if I can show him what is happening. She might be able to tell us what to do.”
It was his continual display of affection, the little love bites, the way his lips feathered over her skin as absorbed as he was in the problem that provided her with reassurance. Antonietta relaxed completely under him, the tension draining out of her. The moment she did, she became aware of the way his body was hard and thick and ready for hers. Sliding her hands over his back, she allowed her mind to become fully engaged in the definition of his muscles. With her eyes tightly closed, shutting out the unknown, she could concentrate on what she knew best, the texture and feel of Byron’s very masculine body.
Byron reached for Jacques.
I need help once again. Have you seen this before? Has Shea? Antonietta cannot open her eyes. He shared the dizzying vision with Jacques. Her conversion was difficult, and there were obvious signs of the Jaguar’s presence. Her entire family has strange ba
rriers, shields preventing scans. Is it possible her genes have in some way contributed to a vision problem?
There was a short silence while Jacques obviously conferred with Shea.
It is so good to know you have found your lifemate, Byron.
Shea’s soft voice was in his mind.
She seems a remarkable woman, and we are anxious to meet her. Do you have plans of a traditional human wedding? I caught glimpses in her mind of staying with her family. She wants a wedding, and of course, we will have one. If Jacques can make it, I would want him to stand up for me. That goes without saying. I think the problem with her eyes is twofold. She hasn’t seen in years. The connections to the brain aren’t there and in proper working order. Time will fix that. She should try to rely on her other senses and give her eyes a break. Short practice without moving so she doesn’t add to the chaos she experiences. The heat images are more than likely her Jaguar genetics. She is far closer to the species than we’ve ever encountered. Cats, like us, have a layer of reflecting tissue which reflects back all external light. They also have binocular vision. Without moving their heads, cats can detect motion over a visual field of two hundred and eight degrees. The things happening to her that you shared with Jacques during her conversion were not normal.
Byron’s heart jumped.
You should have told me. It was too late to stop it. In truth, we have no idea what the conversion will do. Again, a guess would be the enhancement of her natural abilities. We know she is compatible. The eye problem is a drawback, Byron, but with time and practice, she should be able to reestablish connections. This is unknown territory. We thank you both.
Byron broke the connection, leaned down to kiss Antonietta’s throat. “Your skin is amazingly soft. I love the way you feel. Did you get all that? We are breaking new territory.”
“I just have to keep my eyes closed?”
Byron rolled over, bringing her on top of him. “That is the idea, although she said practice. Without movement. Maybe you should sit up there, just straddle me, and look around without moving.”
Dark Symphony (Dark Series - book 10) Page 30