by Silks, Lacey
Eventually I started growing my own stash of weed in my room, which in the summer months I moved into my dad’s old shed. I wish I’d known at that time, that little by little, that my side business and the connections I was developing while young would turn into something much bigger. And most of all, I wished I’d never became my own customer.
CHAPTER 9
Present day
Three days before our trip to Vienna, Julian returned home from work. With the threat of David Wright looming at home, Allie and Tristan along with Allie’s mom left the country earlier than planned, leaving Julian to close off the offices for the holidays. Tristan had been traveling a lot the past few months, which allowed Julian to stay with me. When I asked Julian about it, he said Tristan was tying up loose ends in Washington. His tone of voice closed off the subject faster than I could blink.
For almost two months, I had stayed on a healthy food regime, slowly easing into a routine my body was comfortable with. I’d been running with Julian too, each morning before he left for work. He’d set up two treadmills in the basement in front of a television set so we could watch the news. I spent the rest of the day with Clara helping her cook, clean, and delve into crafts. Clara was doing her best to occupy me. I’d never pictured myself as a domestic kind of woman, but it did help. She said focusing on something new that I loved would help me abstain from the drugs. Despite my efforts, I still felt like something was missing from my life. I needed to find a new passion, other than the club, that would keep my mind sharp and goal-oriented. Boredom was the number one cause for a relapse. Yet as many activities as we tried, I yearned for more excitement. I hadn’t been the same since I’d been back, and couldn’t quite figure out why. It felt like my spark was gone, and I wasn’t quite sure how to get it back. I knew it wasn’t the club – I wasn’t ready to go back there just yet, and neither Tristan nor Julian seemed eager on pushing me into Kissed.
That night, I sat on a couch in the basement reading a book. When Julian came downstairs, wearing his gray sweat pants and a fitted shirt, I forgot what I was reading. Julian’s tussled hair was still wet. Slightly curled, the dark strands dropped over his forehead. He regarded me for a moment, as if taking in what I was wearing too. Feeling too exposed in my shorts and tank top, I pulled a blanket over my legs just as he leaned in to kiss my head. The smell of his freshness strayed into my lungs and I felt my Kindle slip out of my hands.
“All done?” I asked.
“Yes. I’m driving Clara to the airport in the morning and then we can pack.” He regarded me with a smirk.
“Clara’s leaving?” I sat up higher just as Julian strolled to the wall beside the pool table. He examined the cues attached the wall, ran his fingers across each one as if he were playing a guitar, and then turned to face me.
“She says if I can find something to occupy you with, her job is done.”
With that predatory look in his eyes, Julian circled the pool table, leaning against it. It was a look I hadn’t seen in years. His eyes, outlined by the long lashes, beamed with impure thoughts, and I felt my nipples harden.
“And how are you planning to occupy me?” I asked, a little excited to hear his answer, feeling my palms sweat and tingle. Those same butterflies I’d felt in my tummy when we were young returned. And with that one intense look from Julian, filled with a salacious spark, I was seventeen again, two months after our night together.
Eight years earlier
My shift finished at eight that night – later than usual. I scooped the loose popcorn off the counter into a trash can and restacked water bottles in the fridge. The second wave of moviegoers tonight would be making their way through in twenty minutes, and I would be gone by then. I’d already filled in four hours of overtime this weekend. The second shift manager had a medical emergency. But that was okay – Sam, my best friend had my back when I needed her as well.
I scanned the concession area. Everyone had their proper uniforms on, the place was spotless (for now), and the quiet pop of corn filled the mingling conversations of the keen fans who were already standing in line, tickets ready in hand. One day, I imagined myself running a greater entertainment venue, like the nightclub I’d told Julian about, with special guest dancers, laser lights, an awesome DJ, and aerial acts. Just thinking about it got me all excited inside. Although I’d been preparing for it for some years now, the plans still had holes in them the size of Grand Canyon. I’d been slaving at the theaters, working my way up for the past two years, putting every dime away so that I could somehow start that venture once I finished college. And since this was my first year studying business management, I still had a way to go; and not only academically. According to my calculations, even with the funds left from my parents’ estate, I’d still come up short by about half.
After glancing down at my watch, I double-checked the rest of the stacks. Hopefully Sam would be here soon, so Tristan wouldn’t wait for me too long. He always picked me up from work on the weekends – in his Bentley, of course. We’d grab a bite to eat and chit chat, sometimes make out in his car, before he dropped me off at my house. After shifts this long all I wanted was a shower and my bed. Since my foster parents had a great relationship with Tristan’s, they trusted my boyfriend as if he were their own son, and my curfew was never a problem when I was in Tristan’s company – which to me was awesome. Besides, I was almost an adult. One more week and I’d turn eighteen.
“Earth to Kendra!” The annoying Urkel-like voice crawled up my spine.
“Yes, Daniel?” I turned to face him. A set of jar-bottom glasses stared back at me, enlarging his green eyes to seem like emerald stones. He wasn’t bad-looking or anything, and I was sure that one day he’d grow out of his pre-pubescent face to have a strong jaw line – at least that’s the way he looked right now – so there was still hope for him. Daniel was like halfway there from his ugly duckling form to a beautiful swan – I could tell these things about people; I didn’t know how, but I could. At least the pimples had disappeared, and it looked like he’d been taking better care of himself a bit more lately. I even smelled deodorant on his body. If he’d only fork out for a pair of contact lenses and stopped with the bow tie, he’d kill it with the ladies.
“So, I was wondering, if you had time this weekend…”
And of course I had been the center of his attention since the day I hired him. This was a standard question Daniel asked me every weekend. But as much as I loved his work ethic and persistent attitude, he wasn’t my type, and I was taken. I didn’t dare break it to him that even if I weren’t dating Tristan, that I wasn’t really into younger guys. Not that two years was a big difference.
“Thank you for asking, Daniel, but you know I have a boyfriend.”
“And I won’t stop hoping each week you’ll dump him so that when I ask you, I’ll be the first in line and you’ll say yes.” He grinned, splaying his purple braces from underneath his lips. Yes, those wires were thankfully coming off soon as well. I promised myself I’d set him up with someone he’d like once they were off.
“Dump who?”
The deep voice startled me. It was rare that my lungs locked up at the sight of him, but when I wasn’t expecting Julian, that’s exactly what happened. He stood behind the concession counter, smiling with those sexy lips that puckered when he closed them – at least I imagined they did. Wearing a v-neck long-sleeved shirt that defined his muscles and fit him so perfectly, Julian looked like he was ready for a photo shoot. Leaning slightly to one side, he hooked his thumbs into his black jeans. I took a whiff of his fresh scent, letting my lungs drink the lavender and musk of his cologne.
“Hi, beautiful.” He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.
A few giggles reached me from the other end of the counter, and I felt my face flush. If this had been Tristan standing where his brother was now, my heart definitely wouldn’t be hammering the way it was. My gaze moved from his freshly shaved face down to the hollow of his neck, and I swallowed h
ard. The memory of my tongue swirling there just two months ago was still fresh. I’d seen him many times before, usually in a business suit or completely casual in sweats at home, but today, his v-neck exposed that taut and tanned neckline. I then focused on his lips, which was always a mistake as I knew the effect they had on me. Perfectly curved and lush, I fought the urge to lick my own. Just imagining them molding against my mouth sent a wave of warmth through my body that collected deep in my belly. I’d give anything to be underneath him again, but of course he didn’t remember our night together. When the cashier rang in the order beside me, making that awful sound as the register opened, I finally realized I’d been staring.
“You smell like popcorn,” he said.
You smell delicious, like a vanilla sundae on a hot summer day, laced with honey, I wanted to reply, but instead I asked, “What happened to Tristan?”
“Work. He asked me to pick you up. I think you got a better deal anyways,” he said, and winked with that sexy wink of his that could cause any girl nearby to pee her pants. I saw a couple of girls to the side fanning their faces.
You have no idea, I thought, and then turned to Daniel. “Again, thank you for the offer. I’ll see you next week.” I grabbed my purse from the small closet behind me and scrunched underneath the counter without bothering to lift the hatch open.
“Are you in a hurry?” Julian asked, immediately offering his arm.
Again, I should have said that I was dead tired and was looking forward to a nice hot shower and fresh sheets in my bed which I’d changed this morning, but this was Julian. The man who had somehow stolen a piece of my heart the day we met and never gave it back. New energy swam through me at the thought of possibly spending some alone time with him. A sting of guilt pinched me for feeling this way. It was wrong – so, so wrong, especially because I was dating his brother – but this wasn’t a date. We’d spent lots of time together before (although rarely alone). This was no big deal. Right?
“No, why?”
“Wanna catch a movie?”
I heard a slight falter in Julian’s voice. Was he nervous?
“Sure. Anything in particular?”
“It doesn’t really matter.”
I felt his gaze penetrate me. Was I reading too much into his words? Why would he want to see a movie if it didn’t matter?
“We can go this way before the crowd.” I pointed toward the employees only sign. One of the perks of working at the theater was being able to watch as many movies as we wanted, for free.
“No, no. If you’re going to the movies with me, I’m doing this the right way.” Like a gentleman, Julian guided me toward the ticket counter.
Was he even aware that we were the center of everyone’s attention? Every single employee was staring at him, not to mention most – no make that all – of the girls in the line up. Tristan had received the same reaction when I first got the job and he began picking me up. But now they knew Tristan, although it’d be a lie if I said they had gotten used to him, as I myself couldn’t ever get enough of looking at either one of the Cross brothers. But although the brothers’ resemblance still astonished me, there was something different about Julian. His maturity held that confidence of a man who knew what he wanted. It was that little something that drew me to him more than to my current boyfriend. And I felt so shitty about it, dealing with it was beginning to be difficult.
“Extra large popcorn and two iced teas,” he ordered.
“Why one popcorn?” I asked, slightly leaning into him, acutely aware how every minute this felt more like a date than a casual movie with a friend. Was it more? Did I want it to be?
This is just a movie, not a date, I kept repeating in my mind.
All Julian did was raise his eyebrows up and down in a weird way I’d seen teenage boys on a first date do. But Julian wasn’t a boy. He was a man in ways I only knew: a very smart man who never did anything without a reason.
Once he paid for our refreshments, we headed for the theater. I followed him to the center of the back row. As we passed a snuggling couple, I began to feel nervous. A tingling sensation crept up my body, my palms were beginning to sweat, and I found it difficult to hold onto my drink. This was the make out spot in the theater: one where couples who weren’t too much interested in the movie sat. I didn’t even ask what we were going to see. We sat smack in the middle. I ran through my mind the featured movies playing this week and their show times, and it hit me: The Notebook. Had he chosen this romantic movie on purpose? It had been playing for over a month now, and most seats in the theater were empty.
“Have you seen it yet?” Julian interrupted my thoughts.
“No,” I shook my head nervously. “Managers don’t usually have time. And after most of the shifts I’m too pooped to watch a movie.”
Oh, my God! Did I just say pooped?
“If you’re tired I can take you home,” he offered, a hit of disappointment trailing on his voice.
“No, it’s good. I need to relax. But let me text that I’ll be late.”
“Already done, K. Sandy and Kim know you’re with me.”
Of course they did. And they knew I was in good hands, too. The Cross brothers were both trusted by my foster parents at the same level they’d trust a priest.
The lights dimmed and trailers began to play on the screen.
“So, what happened to Tristan?” I asked, as it was natural for a girlfriend to ask about a boyfriend.
“Some stuff came up. He’s flying to Washington for three days.” I heard tension in Julian’s voice and wondered whether Tristan’s job was as dangerous as the one when the brothers saved me from the train. “He said he’d text you from the plane.”
“Oh, okay.” I reached for the popcorn, unaware that Julian had at the same time. Our hands touched and a shock of static electricity flew through me, which was weird because we were both sitting, and from what I knew of physics, it shouldn’t have happened at that moment. Our gazes met. His hazel eyes bore through me and I melted like an ice cube submerged in hot coffee. For that split second I felt the same connection we’d had on the train. The delicious pounding between my legs reminded me of him licking me there two months ago. That primal need to be close to each other again surfaced. Julian’s expression changed to a mix of apprehension, need, and confusion. Our hands remained in that bowl of popcorn, connected, until someone decided to pass by us to grab a seat on the other side.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“I’m not,” he replied.
Was he kidding? I wasn’t sure anymore. Julian clearly knew I was dating his brother, obviously didn’t remember we slept together, yet still made remarks that had me analyze his every word. And that didn’t stop me from having intense feelings for him since day one. Butterflies flapped against the wall in my stomach. I tried to focus on the screen without success. Once the movie started, I was able to catch my breath. I made a mental note to watch this romance again, as I couldn’t for the life of me even remember the character’s names. Aware of each time Julian reached for the popcorn, I held my hand flat on my thigh, making sure it wouldn’t fly to the bag all on its own just so that I could feel the touch of his skin again.
“You didn’t cry,” he said after the movie.
“Was I supposed to?” Crap! Maybe I should have paid more attention.
“Come on, it was pretty sad – you know, when you can’t be with the person you love, but get to see them live their life right in front of your eyes?”
Was he still talking about the movie?
“Every great love starts with a great story,” I said.
Thank God I remembered at least one line. And the only reason I had was because of our story, mine and Julian’s. We headed out of the theater with me under Julian’s arm. It wasn’t odd for us to be this close, but tonight, it certainly felt like more.
“I had a great time, K. I hope my brother gets a few more of those assignments in Washington just so I can steal you for the night.”
“Tristan doesn’t have to be away for us to spend time together, Julian. You know that.”
“But it feels much more special when it’s just the two of us.”
I knew exactly what he meant. Whenever we were together, Tristan was usually there too – as he should have been – and it just wasn’t the same.
By the time Julian dropped me off at home it was almost eleven. He walked me up the steps, his hand at my lower back. The gentle pressure made me lose my balance and I tripped on the edge. Julian caught me by my elbow, saying, “I’ve got you.”
Yes, he did get me. He always got me, physically and in other ways I couldn’t ever tell him.
Once again Julian lowered his hand to the small of my back, but this time pulling himself toward me. My heart raced. This definitely didn’t feel like spending time with the regular Julian whom I knew as Tristan’s brother. And it definitely felt like more—at least to me it did. Julian leaned forward and left a lingering kiss on my cheek.
“You’re a fun girl, K. Now go to sleep.” He gently slapped my behind as I turned. I found the sting both exciting and unnervingly arousing.
Over the next few months, we spent four more weekends together. We didn’t always go to the movies; instead, we grabbed a bite to eat at a pizzeria, or went to the airport and parked on a roadway just beyond the landing path, watching the monstrous planes land. We talked about the different places we wanted to visit. I knew that was a reality for Julian. The Cross family took plenty of business trips all the time, owned properties on different continents and traveled to the furthest corners of earth, which I’d never get a chance to see. On one of those evenings I told him about my new plans for Kissed. He was as excited about them as that night in his office: a night he didn’t seem to remember. I hadn’t told anyone before Julian, but I had started preparing a marketing plan. He said if I ever needed to launch it, all I had to do was ask.