She snatched them from his hand. “Of course I want them.” He sounded so casual, so matter-of-fact, while she still had trouble breathing. She turned away to the farthest corner of the cabin and tried to put them on while keeping the blanket around her shoulders, her back to Cal.
“It’s not like I haven’t seen you,” he said softly.
She glared at him over her shoulder. “I just... It’s different.”
“Well, come on back to the fire. Even with the blanket, it’s cold in here.”
“Maybe you should use the other blanket. I’m perfectly warm.” She hoped he took her advice. It was difficult not to stare at his muscular physique. The physique she’d just loved with every inch of her.
“Guess I’d better pick up all these condoms. We might have need of them...sometime,” he said, his gaze landing on Jessica before turning away.
Did that mean he intended to make love to her again? Now that they’d passed that boundary, did he think it was a given that as long as they were engaged, they would share their bodies?
Could she stand it, knowing that it was a passing thing with him? That he didn’t want her, just her body? Her teeth sank into her bottom lip.
“Damn!” he suddenly roared. He was staring at the condoms in his hands.
“What’s wrong?”
“Uh, nothing,” he said, putting his hands behind his back and staring at her.
“What? What upset you?”
“I’m not upset. I wonder how long it will rain,” he said, and walked to the window.
She watched him go. Then she looked back at the floor. The two packages of condoms they’d bought were there, but the box from Mabel was on its side, empty. “Where are the condoms from Mabel?”
“Here. I’ll put them in the box. We’ll tell her we didn’t want dessert. It will drive her crazy.”
“May I see them first?” she asked, walking over to him.
“Why? They’re just like the others. There’s no—”
She snatched one from his hand. He seemed to have spoken the truth. She slowly turned the foil packet in the firelight. Then stopped.
It had tiny little holes in it that only showed when the light hit the foil at a certain angle. Jessica supposed the holes were made by a needle being driven through the packet again and again.
“She didn’t!”
Cal hung his head. “She did. I’m ashamed of her, Jess, and I promise I’ll talk to her.”
“Do they all have holes?” she asked, wondering if they were to have played Russian roulette.
“All of them. She wants a grandchild big-time.”
“Did we use any of hers?” Her heart was beating faster at the thought of carrying Cal’s child.
“No. I took both of the ones we used from the package I bought. We’re safe.”
His relief, obvious on his face, depressed her even more. Of course he didn’t want her pregnant. He didn’t want to many her. And she knew he would if she became pregnant. Cal was a stand-up kind of guy.
Cal stared at Jessica, disturbed by her unhappiness. He was glad she wasn’t pregnant because he didn’t want her to feel trapped. He wanted her, with all his heart. But only if she wanted to be with him.
His mother had screwed up. And he was going to let her know about it as soon as they got back. He looked for something to distract Jessica. “Hey, I think I’ll finish my sandwich now. Suddenly I’m hungry. How about you?”
She shrugged her shoulders and turned back to the window. “How much longer do you think the rain will last?”
“I don’t know. I’ll call Dad and let him know we’re safe and we’ll spend the night here. With all this rain, we won’t be able to get back over the creek for ten or twelve hours. It’s not the Hilton, but the cabin will keep us safe.”
He’d put his phone in the saddlebag, which had kept it dry. He made the connection, but there was a lot of static. “Dad?”
“Yeah. That you, boy?”
“Yeah. We’re in the cabin. We’re staying the night.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah, fine. See you tomorrow.”
He put the phone back in the saddlebag. “Well, at least they won’t worry about us.”
But he was worried. Jessica was acting uneasy, uncomfortable. He tried to think of something to make her relax.
“Don’t you want to eat? Mom packed another sandwich for each of us. There’s not a lot of variety, but it’s filling.”
“Maybe later.” She didn’t turn around.
“Baby, did I hurt you? You know I wouldn’t hurt you for anything in the world.” He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, blanket and all.
She shook her head. “No, of course not.”
“Then why won’t you look at me?”
She turned in his arms, her gaze meeting his. “You’re being ridiculous. I think I’ll take that sandwich, after all. I spent all my energy somewhere else.” With a bright smile, she pulled from his arms and walked to the table.
He followed her, and they both took their food to the fireplace. Jessica sat and leaned back against the chair holding her clothes.
“The fire feels good.”
“Yeah.” Great. Dynamite conversation.
“Will your dad call your office to let them know you’re stuck out here?”
“Probably not. We’ll be back at the ranch early in the morning. There’s no reason for anyone to know.” He stared at her. “Why?”
“I just thought...it would probably be best if no one knows we...were here.”
“Are you ashamed about what happened here?”
“No! But I’m not interested in sharing my private life with the rest of Cactus.”
He was. He wanted everyone to know Jessica was his lady. But he could wait. He would wait. It had to be her choice.
THE RAIN STOPPED about dusk. Cal removed the bridles from the horses and turned them out into the old corral. There was enough grass growing there to feed them.
Jessica, left inside alone, discovered their clothes were dry. She dressed, feeling more confident in her clothes. Then she tidied the cabin.
When she gathered the two saddlebags together to place in a nearby corner, she discovered another package Cal hadn’t unpacked. Oatmeal-raisin cookies.
Jessica put them on the table. They would make a good breakfast in the morning. Or the best they could manage until they got back to the ranch.
In the one cupboard, she found a kerosene lamp. She put it on the table to wait for Cal’s return. He could handle that better than her. But at least the lamp would allow them more light than the fireplace gave off.
She returned to the cupboard and discovered something that brought a grin to her lips. An old deck of cards. Cal had taught her how to play poker when she was eight.
Testing her skills against Cal’s, like old times, would be a lot better than sitting around in the dark, wondering if he intended to make love to her again.
The cabin door opened and her moments of peace were gone. Cal had returned.
“Look what I found,” she said, smiling.
He seemed to respond to her relaxed air. “The lamp? You’re excited about that?”
She pulled the deck of cards from behind her back. “Nope. I’m excited about this. Want to challenge me to a game of poker? We’ve got matches.”
“Matches, huh? What are they worth?”
She paused to consider. “I don’t want to ruin you, so how about a penny a piece?”
“You sure you can afford to lose that much?” he teased as he worked on lighting the lamp, using one of those matches. As it lit, he adjusted the flame, then set it in the center of the table. “Hey, you’ve got your clothes on,” he suddenly said.
“As perceptive as you are, it’ll be a wonder if I win any matches,” she said in mock wonder.
“Watch it, woman,” he growled in return. “I went out in my blanket to take care of your horse. Why didn’t you say the clothes were dry?”
; Her smile relaxed. “I didn’t think to check. Ready to pray?”
“Let me put on my clothes. Then I’ll be red-hot.”
He already was red-hot as far as Jessica was concerned. And when he touched her, he set her on fire.
Several hours later it appeared that Jessica had all the luck.
“I’d accuse you of cheating if I hadn’t dealt that hand,” Cal finally said.
“It must just be my luck. Good thing we’re not playing strip poker, or you would’ve been naked a long time ago,” she returned, then caught her breath at the picture in her head. She only hoped the old saying, “lucky in cards, unlucky in love” wasn’t true, or he’d never make love to her again. The tension that filled her made the past hour’s pastime a waste. She knew what she wanted. She’d give all her matches for Cal’s heart.
“I might’ve played harder if it would’ve meant you without your clothes. That’s called incentive,” he said with a grin. Then he added, “Let’s call it a night. We need to be up at first light so I won’t be late to the office.”
He was thinking about tomorrow. She was worried about tonight.
“Um, okay. I need to make a trip outdoors.”
“You want to take the lamp?”
“No, the moon’s out.”
When she returned a few minutes later, Cal had done the housekeeping. One blanket covered the old mattress lying on a platform in the corner. The other was folded on one of the chairs.
“My turn,” Cal said, and stepped outside.
She stared at the small bed in the corner. Did he intend to sleep on the floor? And where did she want him to sleep?
That was the hardest question. She wanted to love Cal again, but she didn’t know if she should. She’d already realized how hard loving him would be when he didn’t feel the same way.
With a sigh, she looked at the bed again. Tonight, maybe she’d let him make the choice. One more time in his arms, one long night next to him, might be all she’d ever have. She shivered at the thought of his touch. Could she live without Cal in her bed?
Cal returned.
“You’re not going to sleep in your jeans, are you?” he asked, a smile on his face.
She didn’t smile. “Are you going to sleep on the floor?” Her heartbeat stopped as she waited for his answer.
His head snapped up and he stared at her. “Do you want me to?”
God help her, all she could do was shake her head no.
“Good,” he said with a gentle smile. Then he picked up the second blanket and nodded toward the bed. “We’ll need each other’s body heat to stay warm.”
Just thinking about sharing that small space with Cal was already warming Jessica.
“Slip off your clothes and get under the cover, sweetheart. I’ll turn out the lamp and join you as soon as I put more wood on the fire.”
With her back to him, she slid out of her sweater and jeans. Should she leave on her underwear? No, she was too honest for that. She wanted him to make love to her.
Removing her bra and panties, she put them on top of her clothes and slid under the cover.
He built up the blaze with several more logs, then removed his own clothes. She watched wide-eyed, enjoying the sight of his hard body. The fact that he was already aroused before he’d even joined her in the small bed filled her with joy and started a blaze in her heart and body that lasted long into the night.
THERE WASN’T MUCH conversation the next morning. Jessica brought out the oatmeal cookies and they opened the last soda. The sun was rising in the east as they went to the corral to saddle the horses.
“Can you manage?” she asked Cal, remembering he’d said lifting hurt.
“Yeah. Are you warm enough?”
The air was brisk this morning, as it sometimes could be in late October, but her sweater was warm. “I’m fine.”
“I could get you one of the blankets.”
“No. You’re the one who’s only wearing a shirt.” Such dull conversation, after an incredible night. Even this morning, when awkwardness filled the air again, she’d delighted in waking up in Cal’s arms.
They managed the ride home with little trouble and even less talk. As soon as they’d taken care of the animals, Cal offered her the use of his second shower while he used the master bath.
“I’ll wait until I get home,” she assured him. “Can you drop me off on your way to the office?”
“Of course. I’ll hurry.”
She spent the ten minutes he was upstairs in the kitchen, cooking eggs and bacon. Even more importantly, she made a pot of coffee. Half a soda didn’t provide enough caffeine.
“I smell coffee,” Cal called as he rumbled down the stairs.
Jessica almost burst into tears. How normal he sounded. How wonderful. How impossible. She turned her back and poured him a mug of coffee.
“How about some food, too?” she offered.
“I wouldn’t turn that down,” he assured her with a smile. “Especially from the second-best cook in the county.”
“Second-best?” Jessica challenged, her brows rising, grateful for his teasing to erase her sentimentality.
He took the cup from her and dropped a casual kiss on her lips. “If Mom heard I thought she wasn’t the best cook in the county, you know she’d never feed me again. You don’t mind being second-best, do you?”
“Of course not,” she told him with a smile before adding, “as long as you don’t expect me to cook for you!” Since she set a full plate in front of him, she knew he wouldn’t take her seriously.
“Hmm, I know. You can be first in something else, something that won’t put you in competition with Mom.”
“What?”
Having sat at the table with his plate of food, he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her onto his lap. “You can be number one in my bed, baby.” Then he kissed her.
She pushed her way up out of his lap. “Eat your breakfast.”
He frowned. “We haven’t talked about last night,” he said, watching her.
What was there to talk about? They’d had good sex. Great sex. And she’d loved him, as she had for years. But, for him, apparently, that’s all it was.
“Um, there’s no time this morning.”
“Jess, I want you to know I’ve never experienced anything like that, anything that incredible, before.”
Great. He thought she was really good at sex.
She said nothing and he chewed the bite he’d just placed in his mouth forever.
Finally he said, “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
Stiffening, she raised her gaze to his silver eyes. “You mean you want me to say it was good for me, too? I thought you already knew that.”
“A man likes to know,” he assured her, a lopsided grin on his beloved face.
“Well, your reputation is intact as a lady-killer, Cal Baxter. No fear.”
“That’s not what—”
“Time to go or you’re going to be late,” she said, jumping up from the table and putting her dishes in the sink. Then she hurried for his truck, determined to end the conversation before she started crying.
CAL DROPPED JESSICA OFF at her town house and headed for the office, after a searing goodbye kiss.
But he was uneasy.
Sex with Jessica had been more than he’d ever imagined it could be. Never had he physically been so satisfied. Satisfied, hell. He hadn’t been sure he’d ever stand upright again.
But he needed more than that. He needed to know that Jessica wanted to be with him for everything life had to offer. Not just the physical pleasure. To share the joy, the pain—to have those four kids he suddenly wanted.
But their conversation at the breakfast table hadn’t been reassuring. He’d had to press her just to get a response on their lovemaking, much less the future.
But he wasn’t going to give up. Or stop loving her.
“Hey, Cal, how was your day off?” Pete asked, a smirk on his face.
“Great, Pete
. You get in any trouble while I was gone?”
“Nope. Nothing, I promise.”
“Good.” He passed through the big office into his own. As soon as he sat, he picked up the phone and dialed Jess’s number.
When she answered, he said, “Hey, baby, I forgot to mention something.”
“What?”
“I think you should move your things out to the ranch. Then we could take early morning rides and see a lot more of each other.” Especially at night.
Silence.
He began to sweat. Was she already through with him?
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Cal. I have a lot of work to do for the restaurant. I’ll need to be here.”
“Ah. I’d forgotten about the restaurant.”
“I’m meeting Jeff at the site again today. I want to go over everything one more time before I sign the contract.”
“Baby, I’m not sure opening another restaurant would be a good idea. I mean, it will take so much of your time.” Time away from him. He was greedy; he wanted her with him every minute.
More silence.
Then she spoke quietly, almost sadly. “But, Cal, if I don’t have my restaurant, what will I do with myself? I can’t just sit around all day.”
“But—”
“I have to go. I’m meeting Jeff in fifteen minutes.”
He hung up the phone. They were going to have to talk, he and Jess. But not over the phone. The best time would be after they’d made love, when they lay in each other’s arms. Then he could tell her that he never wanted to let her go.
That he loved her.
The door to his office opened and Betty’s head appeared. “Cal? I knocked, but you didn’t answer. Are you all right? You look hot.”
Oh, yeah.
Chapter Sixteen
Jessica spent most of the day at the location she’d selected. She and Jeff went over it inch by inch, calculating costs and discussing options.
She couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Everything seemed to be fine, but her heart wasn’t in it. When she’d started The Old Cantina, she’d worked night and day, driven by the excitement.
One Hot Daddy-To-Be? Page 17