A sudden urge to knock out a few of those perfect teeth swept over Jessica, taking her by surprise. She wasn’t normally a violent person, but the way Melanie so blatantly came on to Kyle—and right in front of her—infuriated her.
“I’ll see you later,” Kyle said, smiling in return.
Hello! Jessica wanted to scream. I’m standing right next to you!
He closed the door, then set Avery down. The little girl ran straight to a wooden box tucked in the corner of the room, then lifted the hinged lid and pulled out an assortment of toys.
Watching in stunned silence, Jessica stood in place, waiting for Kyle to offer some sort of explanation. When he walked over to the couch and sat down, Jessica shook her head and turned her back on him. But then she remembered the look on Melanie’s face, and knew the woman would use her child as a weapon in this fight, and Jessica knew she would have to do all within her power to win.
Chapter Eight
She slowly turned around and faced the room, her gaze going to Kyle as she tried to think of how to approach the situation. After a moment she sat on the couch next to him and put her hand on his shoulder. He looked at her and smiled.
“She’s really cute,” Jessica said, which was true, even though she’d be happy never to set eyes on the child again.
“Yeah.”
Though she wanted to get right to the heart of the matter—Melanie’s role in Kyle’s future—Jessica thought it would be best to approach the topic with caution, as he was clearly enamored with the little girl. “Do you babysit often?”
Kyle glanced at Avery, who was feeding a bottle to a doll, then looked at Jessica. “Not really.”
Probably because Melanie’s usually there right along with Avery, Jessica surmised as she took her hand off of his shoulder. “How much do you plan on babysitting in the future?” What she really wanted to ask was, Melanie’s not going to be hanging out with you, is she?
“I hadn’t really thought about it. And to tell you the truth, before I met Melanie and Avery I’d never thought all that much about what being a Dad is all about, but I’ve found I really enjoy being like a father to Avery.”
“Daddy, play,” Avery said, handing her doll to Kyle.
He took it from her and placed the toy bottle against its lips, which made Avery giggle.
Impatient with the pace of their conversation, Jessica blurted, “Do you think it’s healthy for her to believe you’re her father? I mean, what about her real father?”
Kyle stared at the doll for a moment, then faced Jessica. “She’s never met her real father.”
“Oh.” Not sure how to proceed with the subject of Avery, which was obviously sensitive to Kyle, Jessica quietly watched him interact with the little girl. Impressed with his patience and care, Jessica felt her resolve to win him over grow. She wanted him to be the father of her children. He was good with Avery, and when she pictured a miniature Kyle running around her home, she felt her heart overflow with love for this man who she had never gotten over. Not in the five years since he’d broken her heart.
She knew that Melanie must feel the same way. And since Kyle had already developed a relationship with her daughter, she would certainly fight hard to keep it in place, no matter what it took.
“You were telling me about your conversation with Alex,” Kyle said as Avery took her doll back and went over to the toy box.
Startled by the shift in subject, Jessica blinked and met his gaze. “Uh, yeah.”
“You said you didn’t tell him about me.”
She thought about Alex’s accusal that Kyle had something to do with their break-up, and her denial, and immediately dismissed the idea of sharing that tidbit with Kyle. “I didn’t want to muddy the waters by bringing you into it. I just wanted him to understand that he and I were done.”
Kyle scowled, which rubbed Jessica the wrong way.
“What about you?” she asked.
“What about me?”
“What have you told Melanie about the two of us?” There. She’d asked. And now it was out there.
“She knows we’re together.”
“So you told her?”
“Well, no. But she knows.”
This was news to Jessica. She’d been under the assumption that Kyle had told Melanie that he was with her now. “How can you be so sure? I mean, the woman seems to come over all the time, not to mention calling you.”
“She saw you here, for one thing.”
Jessica was quiet as she considered her next words. Then, after gathering her courage for the fallout, she plunged in. “The other day I told you that you would have to choose between the two of us.”
“Yeah, I remember. You also said you can’t be with me as long as I spend time with her.” His eyebrows furrowed. “Yet here you are.”
That wasn’t the response she’d expected, though to be honest, she didn’t know what she’d expected. But one thing she knew for sure, she was not about to beg. “I came over to let you know I was back in town. I didn’t know you were going to offer to babysit your old girlfriend’s child.” Now that she’d stated the way she felt, there was no holding back. “If there’s a future for us, Kyle, this—” she gestured toward Avery, “Is going to have to end.”
He squinted. “What do you mean?”
She wondered if she’d gone too far, but knew she needed to make herself understood. “As long as you play daddy with Melanie’s child, Melanie will be in your life. You can’t separate the two.” Her voice softened. “If there’s a future for us, we’ll have our own children. You can be a father to them.”
His jaw clenched as he stared at her. “You’d really ask me to abandon an innocent child? I’m the only father she knows, Jess. I’ve been in her life since she was only a few months old. If I refuse to see her, what will that do to her?”
His questions made her feel wretched, like she was a terrible person, but she really believed what she said—long term, his relationship with Avery seemed like a bad idea. She dove into her argument, hoping it wasn’t a mistake. “What will happen when Melanie finds another man? What if she gets married? You have no legal claim on Avery. What if this new man doesn’t want you around Avery? What then?”
A blush crept up Kyle’s cheeks. “Melanie wouldn’t allow that. She’s not like that.” He stared at her a moment, hurt clear on his face. “How can you even say that to me, Jess?” He stared at her a moment. “If you can’t support me in this . . .” He stared at her, his sea green eyes darkening. “I think you should go.”
Her heart lurched at his words. He wants me to leave. Is he making his choice? Her mind reeling, Jessica stood on wobbly legs. “Okay,” she said, her voice soft. “If that’s what you want.”
He didn’t say anything. Just gazed at her. She turned away and walked toward the door, her heart cracking open wider with every step. Once she was out the door, she walked briskly to her car, climbed inside, and drove off. After only two blocks she had to pull over as she couldn’t see through the veil of tears that obstructed her vision.
What have I done? She thought. How can I ask him to give up Avery, who he loves like a daughter? What was I thinking? Did I mean to push him away? Because that’s what I’ve done.
Tears streamed down her face. Her hopes for a relationship with the love of her life had been so high, but exactly one week after he’d professed his love for her, she’d blown her future with him. She couldn’t blame him this time. No, this was completely her fault.
Maybe he’ll take me back if I beg him, she thought frantically, her earlier resolve to never beg flying out the window. Maybe he’ll forgive me if I tell him it’s okay with me that he’s a father to Avery. Even though I would be lying, maybe that’s what I need to do to make this work. And I want this to work.
Wiping her face with a tissue, she pictured herself calmly telling him that she’d changed her mind. That she was okay with him being Avery’s surrogate father. But would he believe her? She wasn’t sure.
&nb
sp; All I can do is try, she thought as she turned the car back on and turned around. As she approached Kyle’s house a few minutes later her eye was drawn to the car in the driveway. Melanie’s car.
“What is she doing there?” she said out loud.
Did he call her as soon as he sent me away? And of course she came right over.
Fresh hurt pounded through her as she pulled into a neighbor’s driveway to turn around and head back to Ellen’s house, feeling like a complete failure. When she got back to Ellen’s house, she found her aunt sitting on a chair in the living room, her feet propped up on an ottoman. Sinking onto an adjacent couch, Jessica lay her head back against the cushions.
“What happened?” Ellen asked. “You look like you’ve been crying.”
Her aunt’s empathy set her off, and the tears started anew.
Ellen came and sat by her, and put her arms around her. “Let it all out, dear. Let it all out.”
After her crying jag was over, Jessica wiped her face and sighed.
Ellen turned so that she was facing Jessica. “What happened?” she asked.
“I messed up,” she said.
“Tell me all about it.”
Jessica replayed her evening, starting with Kyle’s arrival at his house. As she spoke, she remembered the hug he’d given her, but now it seemed so long ago. And the thought that he would never hold her again brought more tears to her eyes. Taking several deep breaths, she got herself under control so that she could tell the rest of her story, finishing with the discovery that Melanie had rushed over to Kyle’s house the moment Jessica had left.
Ellen was quiet a moment. “Sounds like he’s pretty committed to being a father.”
“I know. That’s the problem. Because that means Melanie will stay in the picture.”
Ellen nodded. “I’m sorry, Jessica. I just don’t have an answer for you on this one.”
Disappointed that her aunt couldn’t come up with a solution, Jessica nodded. “Thanks for listening.”
“I’ll always be available for that, at least.”
“I think I’m going to go to bed. I’m pretty tired.”
“Good-night, dear.”
Jessica trudged up the stairs, and after getting ready for bed, slipped between the sheets. Hudson joined her soon after, curling up against her hip. His warm body comforted her, and she pet him until he began purring loudly.
“What should I do, big guy?” she asked, but he just stretched out and yawned.
When she woke the next morning she remembered that Kyle was going to come over to finalize the kitchen remodeling plans with Ellen. Worried about facing him, she considered hiding out in her room, but at breakfast Ellen said something that changed her mind.
“You can’t give up now,” her aunt said. “You need to show him that you’re a bright, capable woman who doesn’t need a man to make her happy. You don’t need to ignore him or play hard to get, but don’t fawn over him either. Just be yourself. Live your life. He’ll see what you have to offer and he’ll have to decide for himself what he wants.” Ellen smiled. “You know that old saying, ‘If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be’?”
“Yes. I’ve heard that before.”
“Think about it.”
Jessica nodded. “Where did you get so much wisdom?”
Chuckling, Ellen said, “There has to be some advantages to being old.”
By the time Kyle knocked on the door, Jessica had recovered much of her equilibrium and had decided that as much as she loved him and wanted him to love her in return, she had to step back and let him come to his own decision. With this in mind, when she opened the door, she was able to greet him cheerfully, although inside her heart was still tender and hurt. “Hi,” she said, a small smile on her face.
“Hey, Jess.” He didn’t seem overly happy to see her. “Is Ellen ready for our meeting?”
Disheartened that he didn’t apologize for abruptly sending her away the night before, Jessica swallowed her sorrow. “Yes. She’s in the kitchen.”
“Thanks.”
Jessica nodded, then turned and led the way into the kitchen. Ellen was sitting at the table, notes and pictures spread out in front of her. “Good morning, Kyle,” she said cheerfully.
“It’s good to see you, Ellen.”
Jessica noted that he seemed much more enthusiastic about seeing her aunt than seeing her. Of course Ellen hadn’t told him to stop trying to be a father to Avery.
“Please sit,” Ellen said, motioning to a chair.
Kyle did so, setting a binder on the table. “Here’s the order for the cabinets that we talked about. After you give your final approval, I can go ahead and order them.”
“Wonderful.”
Jessica knew she wasn’t needed, and walked dejectedly into the sunroom to work. Even though it was Saturday, she hadn’t done any work the day before and needed to make up for it. She tried to stay focused on her project, but her eyes kept straying to Kyle, whose back was to her. As he motioned to things in his binder, the muscles on his arms flexed, and Jessica thought how much she wanted those arms around her, holding her, and how much she wanted Kyle to tell her that she was the only woman for him. That he wanted her to have his children. That they were the only children he wanted.
She shook her head, angry at herself for being selfish, but also knowing that what she wanted wasn’t unreasonable.
An hour later Kyle and Ellen finished. “I can let myself out,” he said to Ellen as he stood.
Jessica looked up from her laptop as Kyle began walking in her direction on his way to the front door. Hard as she tried, she couldn’t force a smile on her face and feared her expression would only draw Kyle’s pity. But as he drew nearer, his eyes met hers and he held her gaze, his expression unreadable. A moment later he had passed her by, and she heard him go out the front door.
Trying to hold back her feelings of self-pity, she stared at her computer screen, her eyes out of focus as she tried to decipher what Kyle had been thinking. After a while she was able to force her mind back to her programming project.
That afternoon when she heard the door bell ring, her heart leapt with hope that it was Kyle, and that he had decided to come back to tell her he’d chosen her. “I’ll get it,” she said to Ellen, who was reading in the chair next to hers, then hurried to the door, a sliver of hope making her steps light.
She pulled the door open to see a man in a delivery uniform holding a long, narrow, rectangular box.
“Jessica Stevens?”
“Yes. That’s me.”
He smiled. “Delivery for you.” He held out a small electronic device. “Please sign this.”
She scrawled her signature, handed the device back, then accepted the box. “Thank you.”
He nodded and turned to go. She closed the door and carried the box into the sunroom.
“Who was it?” Ellen asked.
“A deliveryman. It’s for me.”
“Oh. Let’s see what it is.”
Jessica lifted the lid, a smile on her face at the unexpected delivery, but her smile quickly turned to a frown when she saw what was inside.
“What is it?” Ellen asked at the expression on Jessica’s face.
Jessica held out the box for her aunt to see, and Ellen recoiled slightly.
“How odd,” she said.
“Yes,” Jessica murmured as she stared at the half dozen black roses resting on a bed of red tissue paper.
Chapter Nine
“Who do you think they’re from?” Ellen asked as she touched the black petals of the rose she held in her hand.
Jessica frowned. “I can think of a couple of people.”
Her aunt gazed at her. “You don’t think they’re from Alex, do you?”
Shrugging, she compressed her lips, then set the box on the floor. Hudson raced over to check it out, sniffing the ugly, yet fragrant flowers. “He wasn’t very happy with me when
I broke up with him.”
“But this?” Ellen waved the rose in her hand. “Do you think he would do something like this?”
“He does like to give me flowers.” She grimaced. “At least he used to. Remember that I broke a box of your vases when I carried them down from the attic? That was because he’d brought flowers three different times and I had to put them in something.” She also remembered that when she’d fallen down the stairs from the attic, that Kyle had raced to her side, and ended up carrying her to her room, then cleaned up the broken vases.
Why does every thought always circle back to Kyle? She thought. I guess because I’m in love with him. She shook her head slightly at the lack of control she seemed to have over her thoughts when it came to Kyle.
“Well, that sounds pretty incriminating, doesn’t it?” Ellen asked.
“What about Melanie?” Jessica said, then smiled as Hudson picked up a stem with his mouth and began lifting a flower from the box.
“Interesting,” Ellen said. “I suppose the only way to find out is to ask the flower delivery company.” She looked at Jessica with expectation. “Who delivered it?”
Jessica’s brow furrowed. “I don’t know. I didn’t pay attention to the man’s uniform or his truck.” She lifted the box, but Hudson kept hold of one of the roses, then she looked at the bottom and sides. “There’s a sticker on here with the name of the flower shop, but do you really think the sender left his or her name?”
“They would have to if they used a credit card, right?”
“I suppose.”
“It’s worth checking, don’t you think?”
When Jessica called the flower shop and asked who’d sent the flowers, the woman who answered told her that the order had come from their online order form, and that the buyer must have used a prepaid credit card as no name was tied to it.
“Was there a problem with the order, ma’am?” The woman asked.
Besides the fact that I don’t know what kind of message the black flowers are supposed to be giving me? “No,” she said, then had a thought. “Do you get orders for black flowers very often?”
“Once in a while. For milestone birthdays and such.”
Second Chances (sequel to Over You) Page 7