by Robin Roseau
"Because I can not talk about council business outside of council, and this was council business. I am sorry. I wanted to. I did everything I could to assure you not to worry, but I knew you would."
"I was so scared."
"I know."
I pushed my face against her, breathing again.
"Mr. Berg was kind," I said. I breathed some more. "I need you both to tell me what you think I should do and promise me there isn't anything I don't know or understand."
Lara pulled me into a kiss. "Please accept. You know everything you need. Nothing hidden."
I turned to Elisabeth who said, "She's skipping something. Right now Lara is your girlfriend, yes?" I nodded. "She can not marry outside pack."
"Elisabeth," Lara growled.
I smiled at Elisabeth. "Say yes, Michaela," she said to me.
"You both promise I'm safe."
"Yes," said Lara. "You are safe." Elisabeth was nodding.
"Tell them 'yes'."
Lara, for the first time I have ever seen, cried, tears of joy, and hugged me so hard it hurt.
Ceremony
We walked back to the compound together. Just as we reached it, Lara stopped us. "Michaela, if you are going to change your mind, tell me now. It would be very bad to accept and then change your mind during the ceremony."
"My throat only to the two of you," I said firmly.
"Only to the two of us," Lara explained, "but the council members will make a point of asserting dominance in some little way. That will happen often at first and decline over time. You need to be cheerful about it. Some may go further than they should. Remain cheerful and I will find ways to make up for it."
"I will not respond well if they attempt to treat me like a servant."
Lara looked into my face. "They need to send a message you are accepting their authority. Would you rather wait on them a little or have them order you to do something with far more significance?"
I sighed.
"If they carry it too far, it will look petty. But we need to send a message that you accept your position in the pack. If you defy them, it will cause me significant political damage."
I nodded. "What if one of the enforcers tries to order me arbitrarily?"
Elisabeth said, "Other than me, you are not under enforcer authority except regarding issues of security, and even then, any orders from the alpha or me override anyone else, even a council member. That last part is true for everyone, anyway."
I held them both there, a hand on one arm each. "I'm scared," I said. "I am giving up freedom."
"No," said Elisabeth. "You are cementing your position. You are removing ambiguity. You are solving a problem for the woman you love. And you are doing so from a position of strength. You are ensuring you will remain in a position of strength."
I hugged her. "I love you, Sister."
She hugged me back. "Don't jump ahead," she said, laughing. "But I love you, too."
"Knock it off, you two," Lara said, but she was grinning at me.
Then I hooked arms with each of them. "I need a shower."
"Yes. I was going to say something," Elisabeth said.
* * * *
By the time I had cleaned up and changed into casual clothing, a party had formed on the lawn to the side of Lara's house and the barracks, the common greenway where the pack held most events. The field was large enough for sporting events, and there was a permanent fire ring set to the side. Tables had been brought out as well as a number of chairs. I spotted Mr. Berg. He had changed from his suit into casual clothes and was holding a nearly-empty glass of lemonade, standing along the side watching the proceedings. I stepped up to his side.
"Mr. Berg," I said. "Thank you for your kindness earlier today."
"Is that what it was?" he asked. His eyes twinkled. "I am sure you can guess, if the alpha has not already told you, that you were quite the topic of discussion. A council member does not discuss council business, but we are free to share our persona opinions. I was one of your detractors."
"So you are unhappy with the arrangements? You seemed very considerate to me. I thought perhaps you liked me."
"I do, Ms. Redfur, now that we have met."
"Have I swayed you?"
"I was not unwilling to have you a pack member, Ms. Redur. And I completely understand the need to keep you aloof from some of our more forceful antics." I smiled at the way he put it. "My main concern is one of impressions. The problems that are driving us to this choice will not go away if you appear to give only lip service to the agreements."
"What did you want?"
"Your throat offered, shall we say, more widely."
I started to respond; I thought he deserved an explanation why that couldn't happen. Suddenly, I could hear my sister's voice, the last sounds of her I had heard. She had been killed when I was fourteen, and I still remembered the sounds distinctly. I started to panic again.
"Oh dear," he said, realizing my panic immediately. "Alpha!" It was said loudly enough to cut through the noise, and Lara was beside me immediately, pulling me into her arms.
"What happened?"
"I am not quite sure," he said. "We were talking quite amiably."
"I'm sorry," I said, letting Lara calm me down. I breathed deeply, and she stroked my hair for me. "I'm embarrassing myself."
And then Elisabeth and Rory were there, and the four of them shielded me from any further eyes, surrounding me, and three of them I recognized as safety.
I turned around, still wrapped in Lara's arms, and looked up at Mr. Berg. "You are still being kind."
"You are easy to be kind to," he said. "What did I say?"
"It wasn't your fault. Flashback, that's all." I sighed. "Do I stink again?"
"No," Lara said.
"Would you lie to me?"
"Yes, but I'm not."
"I'd tell you if you stank," Rory said. He pointedly leaned over and gave me a thorough sniff. "Nope. You're fine."
"I can always count on you, Rory," I said.
"Ms. Redfur," said Mr. Berg. "I don't understand what I said."
"It wasn't what you said," I replied. "It was what my reply was going to be that triggered memories, and those turned into flashbacks from when I was fourteen."
Lara immediately tightened her arms. I had told her the story last summer. I hoped he didn't ask.
"Is that when-" he started to say.
"Yes," Lara said for me. "Fox hunt."
I buried my face in her neck, trying to forget. It didn't usually affect me so firmly, but sometimes it did, especially when I was stressed.
"I hate this," I mumbled into her neck. "Mr. Berg, you understand even the thought of a wolf's teeth on my throat does this to me. I can allow Lara, because how deeply I trust her, and Elisabeth. But after that, even thinking about it, you see the results."
I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself, forcing the panic away. Lara held me tightly to her, and I knew I was safe, but I couldn't stop hearing my sister's dying voice, over and over in my head.
I pushed away from Lara and looked up into her concerned face. "It was a long time ago," I said. "A long time ago. They are dead, they are all dead. It was a long time ago." I said it all firmly, trying to convince myself.
Lara reached out with her hand and cupped my chin. "I am so proud of you, little fox."
I took a deep breath, pulled Lara into a quick kiss, and said, "Rory, sniff test."
He laughed. "You're fine, Michaela."
I turned around to face Mr. Berg. "My apologies, that doesn't happen often." I stood up straight. "Your lemonade is empty. Perhaps I could fetch you a glass."
"That is very kind of you, Ms. Redfur," he said, holding his glass out. "And I withdraw my concerns. I didn't understand. I believe I do now."
"Anyone else? Elisabeth, a beer?"
"I'd love a beer," she said.
"Bock for me," Rory said.
"Alpha?"
"Beer sounds good."
I
nodded to all of them then stepped away from the group, my head held high, and proceeded to the cooler containing the supplies. I dumped the dregs from Mr. Berg's lemonade and refilled it, grabbing a glass for myself, then dug through the cooler of beer, pulling out everyone's favorites. I tried to juggle everything, but it was at least one drink too many.
Scarlett noticed my awkwardness and rushed over to help, taking the three beers from me. "You must be very thirsty," she said with a grin.
"Hello, Scarlett. Thank you. Those are for the alpha's group." We started back across the field together and I asked her, "How did class go after I left? Were the boys behaved?"
"Yes," she said. "I have all of them wrapped around my little finger. With Angel gone most of the time, I don't have much competition."
I laughed. "Don't abuse that."
"What's the fun of power if you can't apply it playfully?" she asked, laughing. "I'm teasing, you know. They're good boys."
"They are," I agreed. "Any that you like?"
"Promise not to tell?" she asked me solemnly.
"Cross my heart," I said. "Or I would if my hands were free."
She laughed and leaned over to whisper in my ear. She was much taller than I was, but she was sixteen, so she was as tall as she would be. She would continue to fill out for a few more years. "Angel."
"Really?" I asked. She nodded. "Does anyone know?" I whispered in her ear. "The boys will be very, very sad if Angel feels the same way."
"I know," she said. "I don't think she does. I have a runner up." She whispered in my ear. "Rory."
"Those would be about as opposite as you can get and still have both be wolves, Scarlett."
"I know," she said. "And I'm too young for him, but I won't be forever." Then we approached the group, and she clammed up.
"Scarlett, if you want to talk about it some more, you can talk to me."
"Thank you, Michaela," she said. "I might. I may have to talk to someone else first."
"I think it would be good for you to know. The conversation could go poorly though, even though the person in question may actually, deep down, start to think about it later."
She nodded. "Could I talk to you later then? Or tomorrow?"
I nodded. "Any time."
We actually had to stop just short of the group to get the last exchange completed, then we handed out the drinks we were carrying before she scampered off.
"Something I need to know about?" Lara asked me quietly.
"I don't think so. She told me something in confidence."
Lara nodded. "So if I need to know, you'll get permission to tell me."
I smiled. "Yes."
Mr. Berg was shaking his head. "You continue to astound me. You went from a full panic attack to minutes later, counseling one of our youth about, I presume, her love life."
"I will not confirm the topic of our conversation," I said.
He smiled. "If I ordered you to?"
I sighed. "I would ask her permission to tell you."
"And if she didn't give it."
"Then I guess we would see how far you were willing to take it and whether you can convince the alpha to beat it out of me."
He stared into my face. I stood my ground, not retreating to Lara's safety.
"Will you answer a different question then? Why does she confide in you?"
"I once did her a favor. She looks up to me, and she trusts me."
"I think perhaps that is close," he said. "But I think perhaps while she looks up to you figuratively, she looks down to you literally, and that may be part of this as well. Older, wiser, but not a threat."
"Perhaps. Do we have a problem?"
"Oh no, Ms. Redfur. We most certainly do not. She confided in you. It would be reprehensible for me to compel you to betray her secrets."
I retreated to Lara at that point, wanting her warmth but not needing her protection. "Thank you," I said.
"Not at all," he said. "I am very much looking forward to events this evening, more so now than I was a half hour ago." He turned to Lara. "Alpha." He nodded and backed away, leaving in search of another conversation.
Elisabeth was grinning at me and Rory was trying to look very small. "Wow, Michaela. You stood up to him," he said.
"I'm one scrappy little scaredy-fox," I said, earning myself some laughter.
"Who is handling the food tonight?" I asked.
"Serena is overseeing," Elisabeth said. "I'm sure she could use help. She's using the alpha's house."
I nodded. "I'll go check."
I wandered in, greeting a few people I didn't know on the way. They all knew me, of course. I let myself into Lara's house and stepped through into the kitchen. I found Serena and Francesca overseeing the kitchen. Jeremy and Alan were assisting.
"Anything I can do to help?" I offered.
Serena smiled at me. Ever since I'd helped rescue her boys last September, as far as she was concerned, I walked on water. "I think we've got it," she said.
"Please?" I asked. "The yard is filled with wolves I don't know."
"Then you should be out there meeting them," Francesca said. "And I see just the wolf to provide introductions for you."
I turned around and Angel was just entering the front door. I frowned. To have gotten here now, she couldn't possibly have done everything on her list for today, much less Wednesday and Thursday as well.
"Angel," I said somewhat coolly. "I wasn't expecting you here."
She stopped, surprised at my tone. "I am sorry, Ms. Redfur," she said. I was never "Ms. Redfur" to her. "The alpha called me and told me to get my butt here. I explained about the schedule but she told me she understood and repeated her order. So I got my butt here. I just arrived. I got as much done as I could before I left."
I softened my expression. "Quite all right," I said. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize Lara summoned you. I'll ask her about it. She should have told me."
"I assumed she would, or I would have called you."
I nodded. With that settled, Angel stepped past me to hug her mom then greeted Jeremy and Alan.
"Francesca," I said. "Please let me help with dinner."
She laughed. "Angel, we have a number of wolves here that Michaela doesn't recognize. You may assist in the kitchen or introduce her around."
"Kitchen duty or be seen with the alpha's mate. Hmm. Difficult choice. I'll take door number two. After you, Michaela," she said with a flourish.
I looked at Francesca. "I'll remember this," I told her.
She simply laughed, and I meekly followed Angel back out of the house. "Are you angry with me, Michaela?"
"No, of course not. The alpha's word trumps mine. You make everything go so much faster, we won't have any trouble catching up."
"All right," she said. "Who don't you know?" Then she looked around. "Holy shit, the entire council is here."
"I know Mr. Berg," I said.
"He's scary," Angel said.
"Yes, he is."
"Well, that one over there," she said, gesturing with her nose, "Is Vivian Chandress."
"Council?"
"Yes."
"How does a woman land on the council?"
"The same way a man does: by challenging an existing member."
"Seriously?"
She nodded. "She's been on the council forever. Mom says she's brilliant, and if anyone ever challenged her, he would find himself facing a lot of angry wolves. She scares me worse than Mr. Berg does."
"Are challenges to the death, like-"
"Like David?" I nodded. "Sometimes. They don't have to be. If someone submits, that is usually the end of it, but not always."
"So you could submit, but the other wolf might kill you anyway?"
"Yes. But if you get a reputation for that, then you find everyone assumes a fight with you is to the death, and if you kill someone with family or friends, you probably made some enemies."
I was glad I wasn't to be involved in any of that. I did worry about Lara's position, though.
I saw Scarlett hanging around, watching Angel, and it was clear how she felt. I was surprised I hadn't noticed it before.
"You know, Angel, there's something I've never asked you. Do you think of any of the boys as a boyfriend?"
She glanced at me. "Where did that come from?"
"I'd rather not say," I said.
Then she glanced where I was facing and she saw Scarlett watching. Angel began blushing and turned away. Scarlett's expression collapsed, and she turned away.
"Want to talk to me about it, Angel?"
"Scarlett has a crush on me," Angel said.
"Maybe she does. How do you feel about it?"
"She's had it for a long time. It got worse last year, when you and Lara started dating." Angel looked at me. "Please, Michaela, I like being your assistant."
"What does that have to do with it?"
"I. Um. Sorta asked initially because I wanted to get away from her. I thought she'd give up. But-"
"But what?"
"I think I might like her too."
"And that's a problem, why?"
"Because Jeremy is totally in love with her, and Derek thinks I'm going to agree to marry him someday."
"Do you want to marry Derek?"
"I don't think of him that way."
"Do you think of Scarlett that way?"
"I don't know. I might. I don't know."
"Do you want my advice?"
"Please, Michaela. Yes."
"Talk to Scarlett. Soon. Your body language just told her you weren't interested and are embarrassed by her attention, and now she's hurting."
"Mom told me to introduce you around."
"We both know I don't want to be introduced. Please go talk to Scarlett. At least for a few minutes."
"I don't know what to say."
"Invite her to Bayfield for a weekend of kayaking."
"Really?"
"Yes. Not this weekend, though. Maybe next."
"Thanks, Michaela."
I watched Angel cross the field, making a beeline for her friend. Scarlett had her back to us, standing alone, when Angel stepped up and put a hand on her shoulder. I watched the body language. Angel was a little tentative, and Scarlett looked like she'd been crying. The two of them talked, and then I saw Scarlett look straight at me, and she was beaming.
I turned away and found Lara. She was in conversation with one of the countless males I didn't recognize. I worked my way in her direction, then stood off a short distance in case they wouldn't want me in their conversation. I purposely tried to tune out what they were saying, concentrating instead on a story that Elizabeth was telling a group of people.